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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/23/19 in all areas

  1. It's been a grim few weeks. It's hard to know where to even start regarding the Hermantics we're witnessing within the program and on the field right now. Still, there are few things that have struck me as more infuriating or absurd than the rest, and it's kind brimming to the top in my head, so you fellow shitheads will get the brunt of my mental Longhorn vomit. Personnel Selection on offense, 2017-Present: From Herman’s first game against Maryland to now, we continue to witness absolutely baffling personnel choices on offense that are completely fucking indefensible. The empty set with a mediocre-to-shitty TE and any ol’TB lined up wide makes no sense. Every defense we play knows that that look is going to be flashed. Only someone as weak as KU could allow for even a smidgeon of getting taken advantage of beyond a play or two by either position. It’s fucking absurd watching teams mostly ignore both players routinely and then bracketing one or more of the WRs. Meanwhile, Washington and Jake Smith are on the sidelines, witnessing this, and wondering why the fuck they came here. Picking apparent favorites at various spots and continuing to trot them out in order to watch them completely disappear and/or underperform. This season, Malcolm Epps and Cade Brewer both cover this issue. Brewer is a pure mediocrity at TE. It’s worth the program’s time to rotate in either another WR or get looks for other TEs. Fuck it, put two TBs out there at once (remember this fantasy of ours from the summer?). Epps is the smallest 6’6”+ guy I’ve ever seen on a football field. His ability to shrink to any occasion is trending towards phenomenal. There are other WRs worth the look on the roster, and yet he continues to show up and disappoint on multiple snaps. In the past, Kyle Porter, the Marble Falls buffoon at TE whose name I can’t recall and isn’t worth my time to look up, Lorenzo Joe, and sundry other WRs who brought nothing to the table over clearly better alternatives behind them. Naashon Hughes. Goldilocks legacy dildo from Westlake. Right. Attempting to use, or claiming to use, complex analytics for decision-making on certain down and distance throughout the games: Football is not baseball. Football has a sample-size issue that baseball does not. Applying algorithmic logic for decision-making in certain situations and “letting the math do the thinking” sounds great, but the same players against the same types of opponents only get so many reps on 4th and whatever, or goal-line and whatever. Interpreting results of 1000s of other “similar” situations historically and therefore having the dominating results from those situations be the executed solution doesn’t make any sense when your team, with its 11 variables per snap, haven’t faced the opponents’ 11 variables hardly ever. Tom Herman's teams are 40% on 4th down this year, whereas they were at 80% success on 4th last year? You don't say. Maybe our opponents fucking adjusted to the fact that we're going for it on 4th and short on our side of the 50 pretty much always unless a kick to win or tie the game is pertinent. Maybe they also figured out that when we do it, we tend to run for it, and quite often in a delayed push with Sam Ehlinger from the shotgun. Did I need a fucking data scientist to show me that insight? No. It's not 1000 points of data that informs me or DCs for shit on this. It's Tom Herman's fucking tendencies established over his 5 years as a HC that show me this. A sample size of less than 100 instances. Also, kick a field goal early and take the points, asshole. Part of Moneyball theory is arbitraging the fucking trends and tendencies within the industry, even as those things shift. It's not about gathering an insight once and determining all of your future outcomes around that one premise. This is what happens when moderately intelligent dickfaces coaching a children's game decide to masquerade as highly intelligent smartest guys in the room. If you feel good about guys like David Beaty and Chris Ash skulking around the program and providing advice to Herman, you might want to consider some uncomfortable commonalities. It can be argued that the 3 worst staffs assembled for P5 programs in the past 5 years are: Chris Ash's Rutgers' staff is probably one of the worst P5 staffs ever established. Here's a write-up at the time: https://www.nj.com/rutgersfootball/2016/01/meet_the_new_rutgers_coaching_staff.html . He basically hired his buddies and cronies and a couple of avuncular influences from his playing days. He cried at his opening press conference, also. This is the fucking guy Herman is whispering about as a replacement for Todd Orlandno? Fuck you, motherfucker. Also: Drew Mehringer as OC is one of the funniest piece of shit moves I can recall. What a fucking disaster. David Beaty's staff at KU when he arrived in 2015 is arguably better than either Herman's Texas staff, and is certainly better than Ash's at Rutgers. However, it still sucks fucking elephant balls. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2015_Kansas_Jayhawks_football_team A few of these guys have gone on to at least get decent work elsewhere. Kubiak continues to leverage his father's name as a coach with the Vikings. Thibodeaux is a decent recruiter at OU. Kane is the DC for a middling defense at SMU. Generally speaking though, this staff is a bunch nobodies that did nothing and will mostly continue to do nothing. Tom Herman's staff upon arrival at Texas in 2017, mostly still intact, is the frothing toilet water being served up to the fanbase for sustenance by the head football genius in charge. Stan Drayton is the only guy on the staff that had any legitimate and untarnished bonafides before joining the staff. Beck had coached in major P5 programs as an OC, and he'd been fired unceremoniously at every stop. Todd Orlandno was the DC equivalent of a butt plug, mostly showing up to haphazardly stop shit at a number of non-P5 backwaters. Oscar Giles was at Texas as an underperforming alum on Mack Brown's staff and otherwise meh. LOL Drew Mehringer. Most of the staff is so inconsequential to the fooball landscape that they don't even have a fucking wikipedia page. Herman could have gone out and hired anyone. He hired a bunch of fucking bros and Not Ready For Prime Time mouthbreathers. Half the staff has been demoted since starting on the staff or at least actively shopped at coaching conferences. Bleh. There is no excuse for this kind of stupidfuckery at a blue blood, much less ours. It can also be argued that Ash's Rutgers program and Beaty's KU program were the worst performing P5 programs over the past 5 years. These are lead guys that are lately in Tom Herman's ear about game prep and program dynamics. Sweet. Finally, Casey Horny being employed at Texas and shadow-coaching and leading the special teams agenda. This rape-enabling, victim-shaming cunt of a man is actively drawing a paycheck from Texas and in doing so, taking a giant hogger shit all over the game day performance of the program's special teams. Why is this guy here and why is he getting to do this shit? Because he and Tom Herman were GAs together at Texas and Tom Herman knows better than you, motherfucker. Nevermind anything else, that's what this is about. This piece of shit needs to have his office cleaned out and be handed a one-way bus ticket to Mt. Vernon, where he can help Art Briles fuck up another group of young females' lives and cheat to win games in 3A football. Anywho. Thoughts?
    30 points
  2. Not sure about that. It seems like Tom Herman pressing his buttcheeks against my window and forcing me to stare at it, would be more effective than Tom Herman pressing his buttcheeks against my mirror and forcing me to stare at it. I mean, if he's pressing his cheeks against my mirror, then isn't the front part of his body in the way of me actually seeing his buttcheeks? Or is he also simultaneously forcing me to watch from some really extreme side angle just to get a little peek at a cheek? Or is it one of those one-way mirrors that acts like a window? And if so, does Tom Herman even know he's pressing his butt cheeks against a window and forcing me to watch, or does he believe he's just pressing his buttcheeks against a regular mirror, just for his own enjoyment?
    20 points
  3. 16 points
  4. Ironic, Mike Pence would probably do anything for a mandate.
    11 points
  5. Hey look, here's Icono with an uninformed, misogynistic take. What a huge surprise. Crawl back in your hole, we like discussion among folks with more than a few functioning brain cells. You can love this team and at the same time completely condemn (1) the incident in the first place; and (2) the absolutely unacceptable response by the PR staff. I feel bad for the players, as they had nothing to do with this - but condemning the journalists is exactly the wrong take (but completely unsurprising coming from you). You have no idea how the incident went down, but if it went down like is being reported, it was a shitload worse than "Taubman merely stating he was glad Osuna is on the team." Sounds like he was being a misogynistic piece of shit (no wonder you're taking his side in this) and if it did indeed go down as has been reported, he needs to be fired. Now, back to baseball. Rant over.
    8 points
  6. I give a shit about Brewer. I hope he's the guy that skipped practice and doesn't play on Saturday.
    8 points
  7. Why do people constantly say this? Dude never had it. He has been a horrible human being since he first came into the public eye in the 80s. How can anyone be surprised by any of this?
    8 points
  8. *clicks on random page in Hillary thread* Onboard 2.0 2,843 #104 Posted April 8, 2018 Tomorrow is Monday, the traditional start of the work week. Ya know what makes it nice ? Hillary won't be president .. yeah she lost to D. Trump, the only slightly less worse candidate in American political history.
    8 points
  9. Anyone who in 2016 thought Donald Trump would be less corrupt than Hillary Clinton really needs to consider never voting again. They're just simply not capable of voting with the minimum amount of skill needed for Democracy to work.
    8 points
  10. So on my drive home tonight I had my cruise set at 75 as usual. When I merge onto 287 from 114 there a blue Nissan Rogue that won't move so I can get in. Had to slow down, let them get past me, merge and reset the cruise. As I move left and start to pass the Rogue the sonofabitch swerves into my lane and cuts me off. WTF? I move right lane and he speeds up and moves right and slows down. Okay... I move left and punch it to get past him and execute a spectacular pick play with a UPS truck to complete the pass. Reset the cruise and we're done here... wrong. The cocksucker gets right beside me and matches my speed. It's like this all the way to Decatur. I speed up, they speed up. I slow down, they slow down. Fortunately I'm overtly familiar with Decatur PD and their love of running a speed trap at the edge of town. I get going up to 85 and the Nissan is right with me as we enter Decatur. There's an 18 wheeler ahead of me and I'm about where they set up the speed trap so I slow down behind the truck and the Nissan keeps going thinking they ran a pick on me... wrong. Next thing you see is DPD flying out of the car dealership they always hide in and the Rogue stopped for 85 in a 55. It's the simple things that bring you the most pleasure in life.
    7 points
  11. 7 points
  12. Buncha folks starting to sweat paying for those mattresses.
    6 points
  13. 6 points
  14. Looks like I was wrong. Jake Smith didn’t skip practice, it was Epps. He’s pissed that he’s getting so much playing time.
    6 points
  15. I knew CDC was improving the gameday experience, but I had no idea he'd be this successful.
    6 points
  16. I would guess Bob Stoops has to be one of them.
    6 points
  17. Posting a new topic inherently involves some "look at me", otherwise people wouldn't write new shit and they'd keep their thoughts to themselves. Is that concept lost on you? Do you think people are starting new threads on BBS's all over the world with some sense of humility and reluctance? It's a bizarre thing to be a whiny bitch about, but if that's your thing, fine by me. I'm sure your history of thread title writing is full of propriety and decorum which should serve as both the template and standard for the rest of the board's posting behavior.
    6 points
  18. They want transparency so they can more easily sabotage the process.
    6 points
  19. This is what I see around 5:45 each morning. I love it.
    6 points
  20. At least I'm not nervous anymore.
    5 points
  21. This isn't the "name the defense" thread.
    5 points
  22. I'm getting in early and applying for a position with the Colorado Border Patrol.
    5 points
  23. This is our fucking chance. Let them secede and tell them they can have Donald as their president for as long as they want. Hell, I'll chip in to pay them to leave
    5 points
  24. Oh, and also, note the threats of violence if [checks notes] Congress dares use a process that is actually expressly provided for in the Constitution to remove a corrupt and criminal executive. The threat is quite simply this: if you dare employ the rule of law to do something that I don't like, I will commit acts of murderous violence against you. And notice that the GOP surrogates and mouthpieces out there are starting to openly say this shit, and make their threats real clear. Again, we have a political movement that is making systematic terroristic threats of murder if they don't get their way politically. "terrorist organization," anyone? I mean, if a group called the "Grand Old Passel of muslims" said "if you dare use a constitutional mechanism to remove my favored politician, I'll murder you," our patriotic GOP and its fans would be shouting "terrorists!" from the highest mountaintop. But when right wing white guys say it, well, they're just patriots!
    5 points
  25. Should have painted it blue.
    5 points
  26. The only appropriate action the Astros can take after the monumental arrogance, stupidity, and drunken belligerence Taubman put on display for a cadre of reporters covering the ALCS is to fire Taubman. There is no excuse for his behavior and the shittastic handling of it by everyone in the PR department and front office, including Jeff Luhnow, reflects poorly on the Astros as a professional organization. I love the Houston Astros, they are my ride or die, but I'm ashamed of their handling of this easily-corrected situation.
    5 points
  27. 5 points
  28. Jake Smith was the player who skipped practice so he could go sell drugs.
    5 points
  29. His scheme also apparently shits on LBs and DBs too.
    5 points
  30. shoutout to the devil in the blue dress.
    5 points
  31. By the way, the proper terminology for Herman's action described in the thread title is a "pressed ham."
    5 points
  32. As far as DOTUS being impeached, removed, resigned, voted out, dies in office, etc., I think he's going to implode and his downfall will be blamed on age. His base will say it was dementia and pressure from the media that brought this great man down. His poor decision making in the end was due to the constant badgering of the do nothing democrats and fake news. It plays right into his HARRASSMENT!! tweets. Pardon him, let the SDNY take care of him. But more to the point, hang his thieving, grifting family by their heels in public. Over and over. Make sure the base knows they all were played to enable these crooks to enrich themselves. Kill the dynasty talk once and for all. Make that whole family a bad memory for the country, and it will destroy Trump, since his name and reputation is everything to him. We are living in that period in 'The Emperor's New Clothes' that is right before the little boy points out their nudity. The scales will fall from a lot of eyes and although there are quite a few that will stupidly protest and die by Trump, more will slink back into their holes, only to wait for another asshole like the orange asshole. Oh btw, I think the world should take away all those trump properties and give them to Kurds to run and live in. Or blow up, I don't give a shit.
    5 points
  33. Just popping in to say that you guys who continually offer to help a stranger struggling are inspiring to me. There is still a lot of good in this world and you guys remind me of that.
    5 points
  34. The best argument against democracy is the fact that Donald Fucking Trump is President of the United States. After the election, every dictator in the world must have said, "See, this is why you shouldn't let the people choose their leaders."
    5 points
  35. 5 points
  36. So just to sum this week up: 1. We almost lose at home to Kansas 2. We solidify our 130th ranked passing defense 3. One of our young star players tweets at halftime 4. One of our 2019 recruits enters the transfer portal 5. We lose one of our defensive linemen commits and probably at least one other defensive commit 6. A starter on offense gets mad at his position coach and skips practice and will miss the TCU game Does that sum up this fucking dumpster fire of a week?
    4 points
  37. Again, so Strong didn’t force you to do this but Herman who is immensely better than Strong is just more than you can handle. You seem like a troll. I’m not sure that I have ever seen even one of your posts that weren’t just completed awful.
    4 points
  38. Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk
    4 points
  39. i have to disagree with your police work here, Lou. Hubris and narcissism and dementia is a hell of a combo. He will never actually believe that he could end up in prison. He will never resign. He honestly believes his own bullshit.
    4 points
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