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    Machinator

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    Wulaw Horn

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    Vic Mackey

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/20/21 in all areas

  1. Why do you hate the institution of marriage?
    21 points
  2. Had the delightful experience of putting down BOTH our cat and dog yesterday. Leaving us shell shocked, in grief, and a fog. We decided to try to get out of the house to go see friends in San Antonio. Loaded up in my wife’s BRAND NEW vehicle. Awful traffic all the way, no discernible reason. Then, two miles from our friends house in AH...stopped at a light. BAM. Sandwiched by a stupid fuckhead who plowed into our rear end. Shoved us into the Jeep in front of us. So, we have significant damage to both rear AND front. Drivable. All of us are sore as shit. Never mind the previous month, the apocalypse, killing all our fish, causing thousands of dollars in damage to our home. Fuck 2021. I’m giving it zero stars.
    12 points
  3. My wife: "That's more beer than you usually buy." Yep.
    11 points
  4. Oh for fuck's sake. It's MIL, but I'm not starting a new thread. Long story short. My MIL is a drama queen that can't handle a fucking thing on her own. Since I've known her she's left my wife's father for an Elvis impersonator, then left him for some guy that's actually a bigger loser. She has no sense of humor and talks to my wife like she's still 3 years old. So we're headed to the Hill Country a couple of days ago for Spring Break. Wife is driving 'cause I'm tired. We get the following text... MIL: Hi sweetie. Are you ok? I'm watching TWC and I see that there are horrible storms in your area. (They had passed through several hours earlier which, if you're really paying attention, you'd know. But, like I said, anything for drama.) I'm worried about y'all. I want you to be safe. Love you honey. Be safe. Let me know if the storms hurt you. You're my little angel. Wish I could keep you safe from the storms. (etc...) So I reply: We're ok. Trying to get the 8 year-old out of the tree where the winds blew him. We lost 1 out of 2 cats and at least 3 tshirts. Good news is that, when we opened the door, the world went from black and white to color. MIL: OMG. Is everyone ok? I'll come down there and help if need be. I'm so worried. My wife tells me to call her, so I do. As she freaks out, my wife is all, "He's giving you the plot of the Wizard of Oz. We're fine." Of course the MIL starts crying and says my text wasn't funny, then sends a book-long text to my SIL about how big of an asshole I am. F's sake. Maybe I'm callous or maybe I'm the product of being a latch-key kid, but I do not understand this woman.
    9 points
  5. Covid had a better tournament run than Ohio State.
    8 points
  6. Some of us prefer the tongue or nothing. 1 finger leads to two. Next thing you know it's a toy, then Bob from across the street.
    8 points
  7. I decided I'd never get a massage after I saw what happened to Moe Greene.
    8 points
  8. Considering he is the lowest paid coach in conference, respect here
    7 points
  9. Shaka is a bad coach. He’s not as bad as Charlie Strong, and he’s not as good as Herman. That means he’s bad.
    6 points
  10. ACU has: •no athletes •no shooters •almost no size (one super tall, doughy white boy) and they just owned a team with three veteran guards and two NBA first rounders on it. a team made up of three top 8 national recruiting classes. in basketball. Shaka literally wastes more talent than any coach i've ever seen. Outstanding recruiter, embarrassing coach. Fuck this shit. Fire his ass by midnight.
    6 points
  11. Musselman's wife is a keeper... https://www.instagram.com/tv/CH8IpOjBnEa/
    6 points
  12. i'm not at risk or of a certain age, and i got my first shot, and will be getting my second wednesday. our governor made it thunderdome, so i'm treating it as such.
    6 points
  13. What the lyin' MSM won't tell you is this was a long drive off the bat of Mike Trout and Trump made that catch over his shoulder on a dead sprint, whirled, and then whipped a 350-foot laser beam back to the plate. Willie Mays saw it on TV, began to weep, and immediately sent Trump a letter saying it was a better catch than the one he made in the 1954 World Series. If anyone tells you this was Trump's attempt to catch an underhanded toss by a small child, that's just more fake news.
    6 points
  14. Kind of like the Lincoln Project? Problem is you can't gather a group of more than two Republicans without getting some kind of sex freak that will sink the organization.
    6 points
  15. Perfect story for a perfect thread title: Washington (CNN)Trump's personal Boeing 757 was always the crown jewel of his wealth -- the ultimate sign that he had made it. He's used it as a backdrop for sleek photo shoots, campaign rallies, VIP tours, for shots of him eating his Big Macs and KFC, plated, with a knife and fork. Trump loved to show it off -- the customized cream-colored leather seats, gilded bathrooms, the seat buckles layered in 24-karat gold. But today it sits idle on an airport ramp in Orange County, New York, about 60 miles north of Manhattan. One engine is missing parts. The other is shrink-wrapped in plastic. The cost to fix and get it flyable could reach well into the high six-figures, a price-tag Trump doesn't appear to be dealing with right now. https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/19/politics/trump-757-repairs-gold-plated-glory-days/index.html
    6 points
  16. And, if true—- this is not some place where you show sympathy. The only reason anyone would say that is because DW4 is a millionaire, talented football player. If this is just some rando making appointments with massage therapists and then surprising them with unwanted penis, no one is saying “I hope he gets the treatment he needs so he can get back to his regional assistant manager position and use his talents.”
    6 points
  17. Highlights from Cole Lourd's first game: https://www.hudl.com/video/3/6361879/604ee84e8cd40108e810b1c7
    6 points
  18. Every single time Texas takes an OOS kid: "wow it's like other states don't care about this level of the sport nearly as much as we do!"
    6 points
  19. Here's the worst though. I'm sixty six, still working, still running ten (or twelve) minute miles as long as I want. Good health, good shape. Happily married for forty-three years to the nicest, cutest, sweetest woman I know. Four kids, four grandkids. My wife, though, has developed some chronic diseases, is in a lot of pain, and is not going to be able to enjoy the retirement we wanted. No travel, no art (she's a pretty darn good potter and welder. Her degree was in metal sculpture). She will still be able to stay with grandkids some, which is of course her true passion. She is retiring this May and that will be hugely helpful. Our immediate future is retirement to the old homestead, gardening, maybe a little fishing. That's fine-we'll make the best of it. There's no place I'd rather be. I just hate seeing this strong, brilliant, beautiful, passionate woman in pain.
    6 points
  20. That's waiting too long.
    5 points
  21. Update: Iowa/Grand Canyon winner now has a 78% chance of dying from dysentery before Monday's game with Oregon.
    5 points
  22. How’s next year’s varsity cheerleading squad looking?
    5 points
  23. The hell of it is....because the dog decided to decline so quickly, so she had to go down on the day we had the cat scheduled...the vet saved a “trip fee,” so hey, $100 off! That’s right. We got a discount for killing both of our pets on the same day. What a victory.
    5 points
  24. That article about his 757 is so perfectly Trumpian. Past its prime, bought used from a real billionaire (Paul Allen), and they put lipstick all over it with Trump's tacky gold plating embellishments everywhere. He claims he bought it for $100 million from Allen which--if true--would have been a horrendously stupid deal as it was 20 years old when he bought it in 2010 and the 757-300 only cost $80 million when they last came off the line in 2004. Now it's broken down & he can't afford to get it back up in the air. Seems like the only thing left for him to do with it is turn it into a museum that MAGAts can pay $50 a head to walk through it, pose next to a cardboard cutout of dotard for a picture, & then buy more made in China crap at the gift store on their way out.
    5 points
  25. That's the chorus to the lost Eddie Rabbitt song.
    5 points
  26. You guys are all stupid. You are missing the big picture. Let me break this down for you. DeSean Jackson is a tool, and I never wanted the Astros to sign him. Still, what he does with girls in Massachusetts is his business. I don't think an esteemed lawyer like Tony Boselli would stick his neck out like this without having the goods. I'm still trying to fully understand Buzz Aldrin's role in all of this. If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
    5 points
  27. I don't get the hate for the Ricktator. He definitely was unclutch as fuck at Texas between never winning the B12 tournament and only pulling one upset in the NCAA tournament but he certainly brought us levels of success we had never known. I am glad he coaches elsewhere and I wish him luck but I certainly don't hate the dude.
    5 points
  28. Buzbee has done an effective job of flooding the zone with anonymous, nasty, and disturbing allegations, but this still does not smell right. 1. The timing is suspicious. No need to back through all that, but a cynic could see this case as a contract dispute gone very badly awry. Maybe if Watson had been willing to waive his no-trade clause, none of this would be happening. 2. What did the Texans know, and when did they know it, for real? We have their claim that they knew in late January. So far that is merely a claim. We are to asked to believe that this team -- one alleged to have its players under off-field surveillance -- was unaware that their superstar QB was some kind of serial rapist? That is some inept private dickin' if true. 3. The whole Buzbee angle. We are to believe he is handling this case pro bono? If not, who is paying him? Not saying Busbee is in McNair's employ here. But if there are under the table payments to either Busbee or his clients, it's a cinch that Hardin's investigators will track it down. 4. The alleged victims. We are to believe that all of these women are willing to go through the gauntlet of a civil suit revolving around sexual assault at the hands of a very wealthy young man for a max judgment of $500? In a perfect world, I'd like to believe that such a search for justice for its own sake would prevail, but this is a mean ol' world full of sorrow, not a perfect one. It would seem to me that if these women were so intent on punishing DeShaun Watson that they would all agree to almost no money in return for their testimony, they would go to the cops, not a trial lawyer dangling a max award of $500. 5. Busbee has been highly erratic these last five years. (Post-divorce. A story older than toupees, fake tit-tays, and Corvettes.) There was the tank. The hoochie mama tumping red wine on his Warhols and smashing his sculptures. Burglars -- not ace Euro art thieves with names like Szandor the Jackal and Francois the Weasel -- but just plain ol' housebreakers from around the way managed to break in to his mansion and swipe $21m in art and watches. He was visibly and highly intoxicated during his stump speech when launching the runoff in his mayoral campaign. He broke with the Democratic party (just 15 years ago, he was Democratic chair for Galveston County) to jump on the Trump Train. Post-"grab 'em by the pussy," Busbee publicly stated he was done with Trump forever. Which meant...until he gets inaugurated, a shitty party to which Busbee donated $500k. And then two years ago he was a "White Pantsuit" level donor to a Hillary Clinton luncheon in Houston. Right now, he is posting these weird little speeches on Instagram with each new suit when he's not blatantly lying to the public about facts somewhat relevant to these cases: that he is not a sports fan (what about the Johnny Football billboards, Tony?) and that HPD came to him asking for case details, presumably implying that criminal cases would be forthcoming. Per HPD, not only did they not approach him, but that they have had no contact with him whatsoever. And when not telling this stupid lies, he is posing for Secret Agent Man shots on the tarmac at Hobby. 6. There is the fact that he and the McNairs are neighbors. 7. That the Houston Texans are looming in the background of all this. It is the most ineptly run franchise across all three major sports not just now, but over the course of my entire life. I've been at least somewhat aware of how sports franchises are businesses with owners and corporate cultures and so on for 35 years now, and this iteration of the Houston Texans is the most insane bunch of them all. Steinbrenner, Marge Schott, Donald Sterling, Jerry Richardson, Paul Brown....At least most of those teams won (or made it to) championships from time to time. This Easterby shit is just whole other levels of crazy. 8. Cal McNair had a front row seat for his daddy's Swift Boat Veterans for Truth campaign. 9. Cal McNair is dumb enough to believe that Tony Busbee, an ambulance chaser whose career was greatly enhanced by judgments won in one of the most corrupt federal courtrooms in 20th Century America (that of the now ex-convict Samuel Kent), is the best lawyer for a case like this. I have to wonder if other top Houston lawyers declined to take the case. 10. Supposedly Busbee's assistant Cornelia Brandfield-Harvey is the point person for rounding up these plaintiffs -- before signing on with Buzbee she worked for the Harris County Attorney's office. This is from her bio: Before joining The Buzbee Law Firm, Cornelia worked as an Assistant County Attorney with the Harris County Attorney's Office in the Litigation Practice Group, aggressively going after high profile strip clubs and illegal massage parlors for prostitution and human trafficking. While at the HCAO, Cornelia was involved in developing the nation's first Human Trafficking Injunction in conjunction with the Mayor's office, which was rolled out in August 2018 to combat rampant prostitution in the Houston area. I've been told she has been of great service to Busbee in the area of his growing a conscience about exploited women. 11. Not saying that DeShaun Watson is entirely innocent, either. Which gets back to point 2 -- what did the Texans know and when did they know it? If they've known about it for a few years, and are only releasing this info now that he is no value to them...whoo boy. 12. I think what we have here is an overrated and erratic lawyer out over his skis, a football star whose squeaky-clean image was a lie, and in the background, kind of looming over all of this, a pro football team (with something of a reputation for racism around the league) run by people who are crazy, stupid, and mean, in addition to deranged and sanctimonious.
    5 points
  29. this is what happens when you celebrate a shitty gifted Big 12 tournament championship like its the fucking Super Bowl.
    4 points
  30. To those complaining about the refs: Take the loss, pussies. Our 'Horns lost cuz they got outplayed, outsmarted, outcoached. It's cliche but it's true. It was David v. Goliath, but David didn't even have a slingshot, he just ran around and let Goliath derp his way out of the tournament.
    4 points
  31. This fucking loser parlayed a lucky ass run at VCU. His team was not that good that year and just got hot for a week. Played way over their heads. Never even came close to duplicating that. At least Rick Barnes followed up his Final 4 with a few Elite 8 appearances in the following years. And no, I want no part of Rick as he sucks, too. But at least he put it together in the tournament. Shaka is 0-3 and all 3 games have been embarrassing. Losing to Northern Iowa and now Abilene Christian who had zero athletes, zero playmakers and zero talent. Blew a big lead to Nevada last time. Fuck him.
    4 points
  32. There were plenty of morons on here doing it last week.
    4 points
  33. That was a program killing game. Especially if we keep this loser head coach. Hate this for the seniors and AJ1. They deserve better.
    4 points
  34. Fire this fucking bum. Winless in the tournament.
    4 points
  35. CDC with Shaka’s contract:
    4 points
  36. He has NFL tools and needs a 4 year plan to use them. Sooo he'd be a fun and cool complement to someone like, just spitballing, Quinn Ewers.
    4 points
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