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Everything posted by longhornmatt

  1. Manute Bol is the Genghis Khan of Sudan. Maybe even the Shawn Kemp of Sudan.
  2. That dress code will be repealed by Monday after someone points out to them that they’re mandating the girls wear Hillary Clinton’s wardrobe.
  3. Ham Radio (the radio murder mystery show that Frazier directs) is one of the best sitcom episodes ever. My favorites are that one, the restaurant one, the ski lodge episode, and the one where Niles suspects Maris is having an affair and has a duel with her fencing instructor.
  4. Donate over $100 to Biden 2024, and get your official campaign gift basket full of Biden gear! It has it all - brylcreem, depends, life alert whistles, handle bars to install in your bathtub, calamine lotion, a landline phone, and a VCR - everything you could ever need! And if you donate within the next 10 minutes, you’ll receive an autographed photo of Henry Winkler and Erik Estrada!
  5. https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/3533074-desantis-edges-trump-in-new-hampshire-poll/amp It would of course be much better if Trump ever had to face real consequences, and if Republicans actually cared about morality and the rule of law. But, in the absence of that, it will at least be some consolation to watch Trump get dumped and then lash out at his fans for “betraying” him. They may not care about anything except winning and owning the libs, but deep down they know Trump lost (and lost them Congress), is damaged goods, and is not as likely to win in 2024 as someone like Desantis who doesn’t have the loser stench on him. Trump will keep bitching about 2020 instead of moving on, because he’s a malignant narcissist and can’t handle it. That won’t help him. The worst thing for a shallow celebrity troll candidate to be is a bore who rehashes his own failures instead of giving the dopamine hits to the crowd. And by 2024 he will get a taste of his own medicine when it comes to transactional relationships and being dumped by the wayside when you’re no longer useful. I just hope Desantis is a garden variety American politician in terms of corruption and abusing power, and not a would be dictator. Trump voters / Republicans are clearly primed to accept a real deal authoritarian at this point, and Desantis could actually capitalize on it ways Trump couldn’t. Trump is craven enough to do anything, but also largely incompetent enough to fail at anything.
  6. Brutus Buckeye: My childhood was typical. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the word “The.” Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy – the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
  7. LMAO. That was a remarkably easy and shameless pivot from: ”It’s an inflation hedge and store of value whose worth is derived from a limited supply that the Fed can’t devalue with all of its artificial easy money machinations! And the Fed can’t keep doing that forever without the shit hitting the fan, so then you’ll wish you had Bitcoin!” to: ”Its worth is derived from how it performs well as long as the Fed prints money and juices the market with its artificial easy money machinations! And the Fed will have to keep doing that forever, so you’ll wish you had Bitcoin!” It’s like a “natural remedy” pitch where if you feel better, it’s because it’s working, and if you feel worse, it’s because it’s working by drawing out all those toxins you didn’t know you had. How do you not have a better target audience of marks than an obscure college sports board?
  8. Yeah, it’s hard to even enjoy watching someone die under some of these bleeding heart scenarios.
  9. Shouldn’t we issue the Narcan to the drug dealers? Think about it. If you’re dead, you can’t buy more drugs.
  10. Removing James Joyce and Virginia Woolf novels from the stacks so they’ll stop being sent over the edge?
  11. For the first 15 minutes I thought it was really good and really engaging, but then all of the sudden I just lost interest completely.
  12. Dear Longwood recruiting department: I admire your can-do spirit, but we really need to have a talk.
  13. Richard Gere and Julia Roberts? I can’t abide that, even for a joke. More like:
  14. Scott Paradise? I think Herschel Walker’s campaign manager has a secret porn career.
  15. Speaking of filters, this is MTG without makeup and filters:
  16. Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade - which I still love - drives me crazy in the scene where they go to the library in Venice for this reason. They start a sentence when they’re getting off the boat and see the library from across the town square and finish the sentence when they’re inside and have presumably been looking around the whole giant place. But then what really tops it off is how Harrison Ford HAS TO WALK UP THE STAIRS TO THE SECOND FLOOR TO LOOK DOWN AND CONFIRM THERE IS AN “X” DESIGN ON THE TILE FLOOR. They do it purely to get the dramatic reveal shot, but it makes all of them look completely idiotic. Anyway, Game of Thrones was indeed ruined. It’s kind of amazing to me how overnight it went from the biggest thing in pop culture to now basically out of everyone’s minds. I guess “Red Wedding” persists as a cultural reference, but that’s really about it. Nobody is dropping a bunch of GOT references in casual conversation or reminiscing about the series like we do other shows/movies that reached those heights. They fucking killed a golden goose in spectacular fashion. The amount of money Martin lost by not writing the last books before the show went downhill must be staggering. The juxtaposition of before and after they ran out of book source material is funny to think about, though. Benioff and Weiss go from giant hacks, then get handed Game of Thrones and become the toast of the industry as “writers” who just adapt someone else’s books word for word, and then the minute they have to write their own stuff again they’re right back to giant hacks. Those guys basically get Peter Principled once they are expected to offer more than mere plagiarism.
  17. Given that they're Georgia NIL boosters, I think the Mann Act and Megan's Law are probably applicable to their travel and information sharing protocols.
  18. So assuming the automobile is worth about $50,000, and the home in Columbia is say 2,500 sq ft, that’s probably a total market value for the whole package of about $330,000.
  19. Without getting into the substance of what is driving inflation the most and what measures can be taken to improve the situation, which is of course more important, Trump is going to win in a fucking landslide in 2024 if the Democrat attitude is “move to Manhattan and stop driving, or buy a better car, or just lie back and enjoy it”. Good grief. You win when you say you feel their pain. You lose 45 states when you say “stop being poor bumpkins” and “get used to the malaise.” It would be one thing if this was just upper crust message board posters doing their best “let them eat cake” bit, but the actual strategy from the party has been to deny or minimize the problem. For fuck’s sake, at least try to blame it on Trump if all you’re going to do is try to find the most politically advantageous person to blame. The “Putin’s price hike” messaging strategy (a) isn’t working, as everyone knows inflation was a problem before the war even started, and (b) before too long will probably just make a bunch of Americans start opposing our support for Ukraine, opening up another weakness for Biden. Our attention span and commitment to self-sacrifice for the greater good are not exactly stellar, if you haven’t noticed. By the end of the year they’ll probably be pissed that we are not relaxing sanctions on Russia if everyone keeps saying the war and sanctions are the cause of inflation. If you can’t do anything to actually help, at least be empathetic and blame the other party you’re running against for the problem. This may be a losing hand regardless, but I think even Mark Zuckerberg could come up with a more human touch than “move to a city center and stop driving, lulz!”
  20. He’s literally schizophrenic - according to himself! Being mind-numbingly stupid isn’t even his biggest red flag. My campaign commercial would be taking whatever quotes Herschel has given about his multiple personalities over the years, having someone read them verbatim in a voiceover, and then have a mock-Herschel on the screen changing from personality to personality and acting them out with costume changes, cross dressing, wizard hats - whatever the fuck he said he believed himself to be - and have the actor look as batshit crazy as possible the whole time. And when Republicans and mental health advocates clutch their pearls and say how offensive the ad was to mentally ill people, make sure the news media turns that into a big story, too, so more people see the ad and learn that Herschel is a bona fide crazy person.
  21. That was the year they changed the itinerary mid-voyage because “everyone has already seen the Mariana Trench.”
  22. Whoever came up with the idea of a several month long frat party in international waters and pitched it as “study abroad” was an evil genius. Nobody is going to say no once you get out there …
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