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Everything posted by Lobo

  1. Colombian Husband: "Aye Chiflada!" Colombian Navy: "Aye, Shefloated" All my rep and drink tickets to anybody who understands that subtle difference.
  2. csb/ We had a copy of my cousin's copy of his friend's copy of an original copy on cassette for a year or so back in the early 90's in Chicago. We thought it was maybe the funniest thing since "Delirious." A few years later, they're on storebought CD and making a movie. It somehow lost its luster. But those first dozen listens were the funniest fucking things we'd ever heard. God bless those guys. No idea how they're gonna do it nowadays unless they're just picking on the elderly and call centers, but despite the vulgarities, they were really witty and knew how to draw somebody out to make a joke. Sadly, there's already a Karen facebook group probably dedicated to shitting on their ethnic stereotypes. But never a shortage of people in this country waiting to shit on good humor. If nothing else, this'll take us back to a funnier time in high school...I look forward to it Kissel! Gimme the digital download, I'll put mustard on it...I'll eat the fucking shit. Shit don't bother me.
  3. I'm trying to do the math on how you become a legitimate billionaire buying/selling inverted yield Trump Bonds. And dammit sir, we just can't make the math work. Perhaps if we were more racist, played more golf, and were just more douchey in general...
  4. Fucking amateur hour up in here. The key word is "Tremendous" And I'm already fucked up.
  5. There are 100 different plays Biden could take tonight to fuck with Trump that we've covered on this site and we're not even paid operatives. Think about that, there is so much Biden could do to fuck with him. And the only "shade" Trump could do to Biden tonight would be "You're old and your son is involved with the Ukraine." And of course both of those could be torn down in moments. I never liked him nor supported him, but I never hated him like many of you in 2016...but I have to now realize...it has got to be so fucking weird for Trumpers right now. It's like somehow cheering for Jerry Sandusky walking into the group shower right now. So fucking bizarre for y'all. To be rooting for the piece of human shit because you rode him this far...gotta finish the molestation of democracy, right? Oh right...right...because Jesus. If your grandfathers could shit in your mouths right now...
  6. Zen I learn about camra ungles and trick fitography Ned Nederlander! Seriously though...how the fuck do you make that tall 20 pound shitshow in a 10 pound bag look that much smaller Vladimir Putin? That's a fucking Pulitzer War Crime photographer, whomever that was!
  7. So Rush Limbaugh, the guy with permanent earpieces and on the most drugs of everyone I've ever met and I've partied my fucking ass off with the deaf and addicted Mr. Nick Jones...he's the one calling out Joe Biden? Yeah, that makes sense in 2020.
  8. A lot of people felt that on Wednesday morning, Trump lost that 9/29 debate. What this email pre-supposes is...what if he didn't? Wildcat. Wildcat. Wildcat. Alright, I'm gonna go now...
  9. The tub of shit that can't negotiate his way down a 15' ramp with the pitch of a Waffle House handicapped parking ramp wants to start a debate on inner ear health? Gee, I wonder what controls our balance?
  10. Fine by me, but I've often mistyped "Civic Hotcakes" and it's a totally different set of pics on google. Just FYI. There is just a not-right amount of city hall/breakfast themed step-porno out there than I'd care to realize. The Judge on Jury Waffle stuff just gets sticky at the end, and not in a fun way.
  11. That's it? How people do you lose on a normal cruise?
  12. This site should be leaps and bounds above that news garbage (FB, etc.) given our education levels and access to quality information and influence. And we should have plenty of low-brow content, that's why I love this place. But when it comes to politics and current events (Covid-19, racial justice, etc.)...we fail miserably for myriad reasons we cover on other threads. That's why I trust NextTok for all my election news. They conveniently alert me to which gang of color is coming to steal my ballot from my front-door mailbox. It's all merged with my Nest Camera which then alerts my conspiracy-laced roving gang of choice (usually ProudBois or Boogaloo Boys) to come throw hands with the Latin illegals in question. Their premium package also does my federal income taxes for me while saving my coal-based paper products job in Youngstown, Ohio.
  13. I knew there was a "Case (Western)" and then "No jarred bodily fluids" and then "Reserve" joke in there somewhere when the Aggies attempted their bid. Levity aside, I'm wondering why all the kerfuffle by the two campaigns about the debate sites given that there's not really gonna be anybody at any of them other than oversized lighting crews.
  14. If we were blessed and I mean truly blessed...and we had not broke our covenant with God...then the least he could have given us in 2020 is Buttafuoco v. Gilloly. It wouldn't be the race we needed, but at the least the one we deserved. As it stands, half this site is in a pissy-fit because we don't respect the guy running as a serial sexual assaulting, lying sack of incompetent shit who is incapable of making money in Manhattan real estate with the entire capital stack filled out by his daddy. And the bad news is his opponent doesn't even know if the description I just gave refers to him...and I'm still voting for that second guy. Two guys who could fuck up a cup of coffee, I'm just going with the guy who at least knows what "coffee" is.
  15. I'd love a simple question about the one thing Trumpers love so much, his judicial appointments. Joe biden: "President Trump, we all know about your record number of appointments to the federal bench. And congrats on that, it's a tough thing to accomplish. As we all know your courts of appeal judges who answer to your district judges are all working with the Federal Circuit to appoint new DC Appellate Court Justices from the Supreme Court's local districts. How do you feel about that?"
  16. Does this dumbfuck realize when you say to the people of Ohio, "Your Second Amendment"...that refers to their state constitution. And that amendment has nothing to do with the right to bear arms? Is this fucking idiot at least remotely aware that states also have their own constitutions? Is he at least aware that we have things called states? At what point is he at least going to prove that he is something more cognizant than a sentient enema?
  17. If they don't allow containers of bodily fluids...how are the candidates gonna make it through 90 minutes? I pictured the two of them kinda rolling cross country in a buddy comedy like Harry and Lloyd pissing into coors light bottles. Guess which one of them is dumber?
  18. Would rep if you had called the artist, Konya Loggins (considering that's the Turkish city with the large Air Force base).
  19. The Grateful Dead and their 55 years are unique in some respects because their massive catalogue and even larger vault of live shows (containing myriad versions, keys, and covers) insisted upon a massive rotation of musicians. You have the Icon-Jerry Garcia. But he was "only" there for 30 years. The "core four" (Weir, Hart, Lesh, and Kruetzmann)...they all remain but Hart and Lesh have rotated in an out on more than one occasion. You have former members who are still living like Donna and Constanten. Then you have "resident" members like Hornsby and Marsalis. And then you really get into the extended universe, that is actually an incredibly tight spiral...Warren Haynes, the collaborators from The Other Ones, Furthur, the Dead, and then Dead & Co. Plus the deceased members from McKernan to Robert Hunter and all the musicians they collaborated with and touched. And the guys like Dave Grisman and the guys from Ratdog and Planet Drum and the Rhythm Devils and Barlow and the Jerry Garcia Band proper. The music and its millions of incarnations roam free around the world each and every day. Lots of bands have had rotating personnel, but it was out of commercial design. The Grateful Dead are unique in that theirs was purely organic, driven only by tragedy and desire to find harmonious sound, not directed by outside management. It's like the opposite of that movie "Yesterday." The beauty of the Beatles was their sound was so singular and defined just by them. Just their world for one solitary decade that changed the course of music, and then human history, forever. But it was controlled and charted by just them. Jack Malick is able to push out their music into our alternate universe because he can capture their unique sound by himself. The music of the Grateful Dead lives on and permeates so elegantly and freely, because it was always in the hands of so many collaborators and so many versions were pushed forth into the galaxy because the music was originally composed and arranged to do just that. "Standing on the Moon" is so beautiful because after 100 versions on 100 moons, I am close to the original and as far from the original all at the same time. All music lives on nowadays because of digital recordings and covers, but the Dead's body of work is solitarily unique in that almost everything you hear is just one degree of separation from the original, but yet has its own life and breath and spirit. 25 years from now, that will have been diluted, but they'll have had a helluva run. A handful of musicians will have scattered a wonderful sound to where the four winds dwell.
  20. Yeah, the caselaw that will be written about how much of their royalties from book deals, speaking engagements, movie deals, etc. have to go to pay off debts, etc. will be fucking fascinating and studies in law schools for a century. Dead serious, politics aside, it's just maths how his debt repayment is gonna work---if you go around like Palin did for a few years raising money for other GOP candidates and charge a "brokerage fee/Reg D" fee for doing so...does that have to back and pay your debtors? Probably not if they're foreign, but certainly if they are U.S. based entities. I'm sure Captain Dipshit thinks he got one over them because they are foreign nationals but a U.S. registered G.P. can sure as shit recoup those funds for U.S. based assets from a U.S. citizen who fraudulently withheld repayment, President or not. Shit, half the caseload of many U.S. Bankruptcy courts are Chinese Nationals with U.S. based family trusts and GP's trying to recoup EB-5 real estate deals that went sideways during the over-saturation of that market in 2011-2018.
  21. MobyRic---I want to smoke what you're smoking. Here's why I am voting for Biden, your hyperbole aside. Have you ever been on a real hot streak in terms of women? Just had a great run of banging 8's and 9's and you decided one day, "You know what? I love banging hot women. I'm gonna keep doing what I need to do in life so that I can keep hanging around 8's and 9's and keep myself in a position to nail them!" Well that's how millions and millions of us felt about sticking with the GOP and/or Libertarian Party. And then one day, you're in a dry spell and things aren't going great at work. And you got shit going on with family and friends and hobbies and job interviews. And things just aren't looking that great. It's not dire, but it's pretty bad. And then the usual Ass-a-Thon that is Halloween, even that doesn't get you out of your rough streak. All aspects of your life aren't going great and you could really use a good lay. And a few days after Halloween, two options emerge. An older potential lay. She's a 5, and that's on a really, really good day if you're half in the bag and lying to yourself. The other option is a 3 or 4 at best who is really lying to you, she's actually a fat 2 that is just drenched in bad makeup and deceit. And she's actively trying to kill your older relatives. Sure she's probably more fun in the sack and makes you feel better about what a disgusting piece of human shit you are, but she also stole your TV to pawn while you were sleeping and took a shit in your freezer. And it's a top-load freezer...I mean who does that? That's where I'm at on these two dipshits.
  22. No, but Trump is allowed to take his pants off and wander around the stage when he gets bored to fuck someone who isn't his pregnant wife and/or his own daughter. Seems like hyperbole, but I know for a fact he fucked a pornstar with a pregnant wife at home and molested his own daughter when she was an adolescent. But we can't talk about that on Surly because his stance on family values is so goddamn beyond reproach.
  23. Moscow's hottest club is "Gas, Gas, Gas." Club Promoter, Aren't you Vlad you Putitin, has gone totally wild with this vehicle themed molly trip on extra gluten wheat vodka. This club has everything, luggage carousel dances, car chases at an actual car rental desk, and Agati Orgies. It's like that thing when that famous European airport seat designer arranges it so 9 Russian dwarves about to get convicted of vehicular manslaughter can all screw on the same set of lounge chairs before arraignment. scottie!!!
  24. Lobo

    Things That Suck

    Aw c'mon man, from one assman to another, you gonna give me shit on 'carful'? I was close to car full! I guess I was going for careful in a way, too. But yeah, maybe we got a new word going on here.
  25. Just scares you to death what a proper Evangelical Christian Zach Smith is. I mean, you look over at him and those leaders he follows, and those that follow him...and it just scares you to death.
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