Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

Recommended Posts

My wife has terrible writing skills, and it kills me everytime she asks for help.
 

1.  She'll ask for advice from me, and then immediately fight me on every response I give. 

2.  She'll insist on finding the perfect phrasing to express something that is itself already sufficient.  ("How do I write that 'I'm working on this project and will finish it tomorrow'?"  Uh....exactly as you just said)

3.  Her formal writing is full of passive, wishy-washy nonsense, and she takes it as a personal slight when I point it out.  "I wish....do you think maybe....perhaps it's possible that.... I hope...."

She blames it on English not being her native language, but it's just terrible organization of thoughts.

Of course, Women and Logic go together like bacon and vegans.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

Of course, Women and Logic go together like bacon and vegans.

I like bacon and don't mind doing vegans

1 hour ago, miguelito said:

^ My wife is a native English speaker, and one time she asked me to proofread something of hers for "grammical errors."

I think she was asking if there were any comical grammatical errors

Link to comment
Share on other sites

that fucking rotating glass plate in the microwave.  

I've used a microwave for proabably 40 years.  I cannot remember one fucking time that I used it, having an issue with the plate moving off the tractor that rotates it. 

Somehow though, she figures out how to dislodge it around 50% of the time, which wouldn't be an issue if she took the 3.5 seconds required to reseat it.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, DaysOff said:
7 hours ago, miguelito said:
^ My wife is a native English speaker, and one time she asked me to proofread something of hers for "grammical errors."

Asked me to proof an email today that had superfluous commas everywhere, except where needed to prevent run on sentences.

Fify

  • Like 4
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

that fucking rotating glass plate in the microwave.  
I've used a microwave for proabably 40 years.  I cannot remember one fucking time that I used it, having an issue with the plate moving off the tractor that rotates it. 
Somehow though, she figures out how to dislodge it around 50% of the time, which wouldn't be an issue if she took the 3.5 seconds required to reseat it.
 
That is a toughie.

My ocd wife washes the glass plate twice a week and I've never seen it not turn.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, DaysOff said:
15 hours ago, miguelito said:
^ My wife is a native English speaker, and one time she asked me to proofread something of hers for "grammical errors."

Asked me to proof an email today that had superfluous commas everywhere except where needed to prevent run on sentences.

I didn’t go to Oxford either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, 52-80 said:

My wife has terrible writing skills, and it kills me everytime she asks for help.
 

1.  She'll ask for advice from me, and then immediately fight me on every response I give. 

2.  She'll insist on finding the perfect phrasing to express something that is itself already sufficient.  ("How do I write that 'I'm working on this project and will finish it tomorrow'?"  Uh....exactly as you just said)

3.  Her formal writing is full of passive, wishy-washy nonsense, and she takes it as a personal slight when I point it out.  "I wish....do you think maybe....perhaps it's possible that.... I hope...."

She blames it on English not being her native language, but it's just terrible organization of thoughts.

Of course, Women and Logic go together like bacon and vegans.

My wife's parents moved back to mexico for a few years when she was younger to take care of her grandfather, so when they moved back around kindergarten age she had to relearn English. She's constantly saying the wrong thing, and it's frequently ambiguous. She gets pissed at me most of the time if I correct her or ask for clarification, so I've learned to just keep my mouth shut and guess. Then she gets mad at me for doing the wrong thing...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

34 minutes ago, VolenteHawk said:

My wife is really smart, but she let slip with a doozie this morning...she was writing a note for my son that missed school yesterday, and I'm dicking around on my phone.

Wife: "What is today's date?"

Me: "23rd"

Wife: "So yesterday was the 22nd?"

Me:

spacer.png

She was just talking out loud. 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, VolenteHawk said:

My wife is really smart, but she let slip with a doozie this morning...she was writing a note for my son that missed school yesterday, and I'm dicking around on my phone.

Wife: "What is today's date?"

Me: "23rd"

Wife: "So yesterday was the 22nd?"

Me:

spacer.png

No, yesterday was the 17th.  October is a crazy month.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, markstanco said:

That is a toughie.

My ocd wife washes the glass plate twice a week and I've never seen it not turn.

Well then you're ahead of the game because there's been plenty of quick ready meals that were prepared in the mic that spilled/boiled over/exploded that were flavored into who knows how many subsequent uses as well that I didn't even bother complaining about.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Came home after being gone a couple of weeks and the wife complained the wireless internet on the far side of the house from the router is no longer working.  Go to check the status of the signal extender and yep she moved it into the dead zone that it was covering because she didn't like looking at it where it was.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

Came home after being gone a couple of weeks and the wife complained the wireless internet on the far side of the house from the router is no longer working.  Go to check the status of the signal extender and yep she moved it into the dead zone that it was covering because she didn't like looking at it where it was.

Well how is going to cover the dead zone if it’s not in the dead zone Mr. Smartie?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Right.  And then I'd be waiting for her to say that she's going to toss all the half pills.  Expecting it, really.

Well you cut the pill in to two pieces. Then you give the dog one and throw the other one away. If you put it back in the bottle and give the second piece to the dog tomorrow then you have just given the dog a whole pill. And the vet said to only give the dog half of the pill.
Come on guys this isn’t rocket appliances.
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Mrs CL and I were driving tonight with the classic country station on the radio. "Roll On" by Alabama came on. 

"This song is how we got Baby Shark."

I didn't even bother asking how or why. I just rolled my eyes and changed the channel. 

You missed a golden opportunity. 

13 hours ago, Nivek said:


That is not why we think your are crazy. I also don’t have one and haven’t for more than a decade.
 

You're not wrong. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Significant other calls me at lunch with a list to get at HEB, as we will have company coming over, unexpectedly.  Already, I knew this wasn’t going to end well. I know she’s had a long week, so tell her I can just order takeout with the exact same dish she’s making, so she’s not scrabbling and stressing over cooking. I get the “I’m tired of eating out and unhealthy” text when I recommend this, which we don’t eat out much , and her meal is not a healthy one. I come home with everything she wants and helped dice things, stir things, and eventually sit down because I worked all day and want to watch the World Series. She starts complaining how I don’t help out, and is stressing out over cooking, and has that ‘overwhelmed’ tone like I’m the bad guy, when I knew this shit would happen. Women like to make things so complicated because I honestly believe they are just dumb, lack common sense, and love to bitch. 

Edited by hundredTT
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, tbone_ said:

You aren’t married?

For us to know he needs to update it by letting us know if there were any kind of sexual relations later that night or if he tried to get her interested and she told him how insensitive he was and that she was exhausted and worked so hard on dinner and was so tired she might die....and then messed around on Facebook and Pinterest until 2AM.

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...