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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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On 11/23/2019 at 12:09 AM, Sam Lin said:

Well, it isn't safe to open the radiator cap, so what was she supposed to do?? Tone.

When I was high school almost 30 years ago and broke (and stupid), I had an old Chevy 454 pickup with a bad water pump. It would overheat and the engine would also get hot and I'd have to find a garden hose or bucket and pour water on the pump to get it to cool it off and work properly again and cool off the engine. Usually worked very quick and simple, even if I had to occasionally knock on a stranger's door and ask to use their garden hose. (This was 1991-92 - people were cool about this stuff back then)

Once my dumbass decided I was going to drive my buddies and me 100 miles out of town to go dove hunting one day. Worked fine going out but coming back about 30 miles from home the engine started overheating and I knew I'd damage it worse if I didn't cool off the water pump. We didn't have any water in the car so we did the logical thing and opened the hood at the side of the road and all pissed on the water pump. 

Lucky no cops drove by. Also lucky we were all dudes, I guess. Would have been much harder to pull off a squat over a hot engine like that. 

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1 hour ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

When I was high school almost 30 years ago and broke (and stupid), I had an old Chevy 454 pickup with a bad water pump. It would overheat and the engine would also get hot and I'd have to find a garden hose or bucket and pour water on the pump to get it to cool it off and work properly again and cool off the engine. Usually worked very quick and simple, even if I had to occasionally knock on a stranger's door and ask to use their garden hose. (This was 1991-92 - people were cool about this stuff back then)

Once my dumbass decided I was going to drive my buddies and me 100 miles out of town to go dove hunting one day. Worked fine going out but coming back about 30 miles from home the engine started overheating and I knew I'd damage it worse if I didn't cool off the water pump. We didn't have any water in the car so we did the logical thing and opened the hood at the side of the road and all pissed on the water pump. 

Lucky no cops drove by. Also lucky we were all dudes, I guess. Would have been much harder to pull off a squat over a hot engine like that. 

In 1965 the wood floorboard under the drivers seat of my 1960 MGA roadster caught fire (exhaust pipe jammed up against it after running over a tire). No water available but fortunately I & my gf had been at a kegger, so it got put out Gulliver style after popping the seat up. Never could get all the smell out though. Gf enjoyed the spectacle.

Edited by Armybrat
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Down stairs is kinda like a halfway basement type thing because our house is on a hill leading down to the lake. We don't really go down there for much, so it was a centipede graveyard until recently. 3yo wanted a bubble bath and the upstairs only has a shower, so the bath mat had to come out along with all the dead bugs it was harboring. And yes the color is terrible. And the shower head is like chest height. Everything about the bathroom is bad. It wasn't exactly next on the list for remodeling,  but I guess it is now.

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31 minutes ago, nnm said:

Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.

Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.

And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  

So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.

Holy shit.  Your wife cleans the oven?

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12 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Is this that fancy Sous Vide I keep hearing about?

Mrs. NNM got all excited about those things about 5 years ago when we did a cooking class. And bought one. Which sits in its original packaging, seal unbroken, on the top back shelf of the pantry. Where it has sat since the day it was delivered. 

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9 minutes ago, nnm said:

Mrs. NNM got all excited about those things about 5 years ago when we did a cooking class. And bought one. Which sits in its original packaging, seal unbroken, on the top back shelf of the pantry. Where it has sat since the day it was delivered. 

correct me if I am wrong here, but this seems like an opportunity to sous vide several turkey breasts 

what with the whole "we aint got no fucking ovens" shit you have going on right now.

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3 hours ago, nnm said:

Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.

Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.

And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  

So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.

THIS is how you get in line with the spirit of the thread.

 

2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I laughed.  Then I remembered last week when I put the plastic steamer basket in a pot on the stove to steam some vegetables and forgot to add water.

And this is doing it wrong.

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Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.
Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.
And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  
So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.
What timing! Black Friday starts in 3 days!!
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15 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
4 hours ago, nnm said:
Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.
Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.
And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  
So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.

Read more  

What timing! Black Friday starts in 3 days!!

Black Friday IS in 3 days.  Black Friday started weeks ago.

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I was on the phone with my wife today discussing thanksgiving plans. We also throw a Christmas party every year, but because of the calendar, we have one less weekend between t-day and then vs normal. I was trying to negotiate not having to put up the stupid lighted garland around our dining room that always must be done but only I am capable of doing as unnecessary, but was told it is a “statement decoration”. Fortunately she couldn’t hear my eye roll through the phone.

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29 minutes ago, OrangEngr said:

I was on the phone with my wife today discussing thanksgiving plans. We also throw a Christmas party every year, but because of the calendar, we have one less weekend between t-day and then vs normal. I was trying to negotiate not having to put up the stupid lighted garland around our dining room that always must be done but only I am capable of doing as unnecessary, but was told it is a “statement decoration”. Fortunately she couldn’t hear my eye roll through the phone.

You're quite the storyteller. 

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