Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

Recommended Posts

2 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Wife just yelled at daughter for putting the broom somewhere she couldn’t find it. So I said, “Why, going somewhere?”

Points with daughter. No points with wife.

Hope you remember that pussy, because it may be a long, long time before you see it again.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Wife just yelled at daughter for putting the broom somewhere she couldn’t find it. So I said, “Why, going somewhere?”

Points with daughter. No points with wife.

Your wife fucking the broom?  I can’t think of any other reason mine would be looking for ours.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Wife just yelled at daughter for putting the broom somewhere she couldn’t find it. So I said, “Why, going somewhere?”

Points with daughter. No points with wife.

Several years ago the wife and I were outside. Across the road is a pasture with several head of cattle. The guy runs a couple donkeys with the herd. One of the donkeys brays. I respond, "what did you say honey?"

 No child around to gain points, but son thought it was pretty funny when I told him later. I stressed to him to not bring it up to his Mom. Never!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

Follow up with “You’re just upset because a house fell on your sister” since your not going to be getting any anyway.

From last Spring:

Watching a soccer game the other night and it started to drizzle.  Daughter pulled out the umbrella and asked it my wife wanted under it.  My wife responded, "I'm not sugar, I won't melt."  Without skipping a beat, my daughter replied, "neither was the wicked witch."

Guess who got in trouble for laughing.

  • Like 4
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Jerry Callo said:

From last Spring:

Watching a soccer game the other night and it started to drizzle.  Daughter pulled out the umbrella and asked it my wife wanted under it.  My wife responded, "I'm not sugar, I won't melt."  Without skipping a beat, my daughter replied, "neither was the wicked witch."

Guess who got in trouble for laughing.

Seems like a lot of our wives may have something in common.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

46 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

Our first AND second microwaves have failed in the last five weeks. The second died this morning. Guess I gotta mask up and go appliance shopping.

This is a blessing in disguise.  You get to leave the house for at least a few hours.  Take a cooler with you.  Find a park to hang out with while maintaining proper social distancing and just sit back for a few hours.  Tell your wife there must have been a run on microwaves and that you had to go to at least 4 or 5 stores to find the one she wants.  Tell her that it was weird and frightening to be out in the real world with only a little mask to prevent you from catching your death, but you were willing to risk it so that she could re-heat leftovers.  Maybe you can turn this into some sexy time. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

36 minutes ago, NoName said:

I just read like a month's worth of this thread waiting for @Angry Gorilla's second set of reviews only to discover there were no follow ups posted!

Good point, @NoName.

 @Angry Gorilla, it’s time for a sequel. 

I’m sure you’ll find sponsors on here willing to send a handle to you as long as you’ll treat us to the rolling review. I’ll gladly step up, just send me a pm. 

Some suggestions:

1) Chocolate Whiskey: https://www.caskers.com/kings-county-chocolate-whiskey/

2) Piehole Whiskey, either Pecan Pie (https://drizly.com/liquor/whiskey/american-whiskey/piehole-pecan-pie-whiskey/p14878) or cherry pie (https://drizly.com/liquor/whiskey/canadian-whisky/piehole-cherry-pie-whiskey/p14880)

3) Pumpkin Spice Whiskey: http://solspirits.com/american-spirits-sol-seasonals-pumpkinspicewhiskey

4) Chipotle Whiskey: https://www.totalwine.com/spirits/american-whiskey/whiskey/rogue-farms-chipotle-whiskey/p/151143750

5) Cookies & Cream Whiskey:  https://www.theliquorbarn.com/ole-smoky-cookies-cream-750ml/

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why can't wives just answer a question without all the extra fucking bullshit that lead up to the answer. I just need the answer, not details surrounding the answer. 

Wife is a Teacher

Wife: <Something unintelligible> "...easier than paper copies...which is great."

Me: "Sorry, I didn't hear what you said. Can you repeat that?"

Wife: "Well, the girls and I were talking this morning about the online learning being a pain because we are having to completely learn a new way to reach our kids and being out of the classroom is posing new challenges with the class work and making sure they are getting their lessons completed and learning the material being presented. But, we do enjoy the grading process being much easier than having the paper copies. I can go through and finish each kid completely as opposed to just doing each assignment one at a time, which is great."

Me: Ok. So you what you said was "Online grading is easier than paper copies, which is great."?

Wife: Yeah.

  • Like 4
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/16/2020 at 9:56 AM, Pogo said:

Am I the only one who owns a toaster oven?

Edit:  I'll bet I am the only one who's wife deemed it necessary for us to own 2 microwaves.

We bought a Breville toaster oven in December.  It has replaced the use of our ovens by about 95% and we tossed the toaster.  Love it.  Can do just about everything and doesn't turn the kitchen into a furnace.  Since quarantining I bet I used it 4 times a day for toasting bread for breakfast and for lunch sangwiches before we left for our ranch.  Wish I would have packed it.

Also great for frozen pizzas and chicken nuggets for the kids (which for us is maybe once a week).

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/17/2020 at 3:49 PM, Johnny Sack said:

We bought a Breville toaster oven in December.  It has replaced the use of our ovens by about 95% and we tossed the toaster.  Love it.  Can do just about everything and doesn't turn the kitchen into a furnace.  Since quarantining I bet I used it 4 times a day for toasting bread for breakfast and for lunch sangwiches before we left for our ranch.  Wish I would have packed it.

Also great for frozen pizzas and chicken nuggets for the kids (which for us is maybe once a week).

Had one for years, and they work great for all kinds of stuff. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...