Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

Recommended Posts

59 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

You married Trixie’s sister?  

I can confirm they aren't sisters but must be distant relatives.  She is fluent.  

Over the years, I've just learned to understand and correct as little as possible while hoping she doesn't speak off the cuff too often in social situations.

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, PhillyD said:

I can confirm they aren't sisters but must be distant relatives.  She is fluent.  

Over the years, I've just learned to understand and correct as little as possible while hoping she doesn't speak off the cuff too often in social situations.

Think she might be my wifes sister, especially after reading the social situations part.

We use a lot of "Montreal" seasoning at home, so I cringe when she asks grocery store employees why they don't carry the large "Masterpiece" seasoning any longer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

37 minutes ago, bigbevo76 said:

Wife wanted a "stand up" desk ever since she started working from home (didn't have one at her office, btw).  I buy her one and set it all up.  She doesn't sit or stand at it. 

 

She raised her chair up to about barstool height and adjusted the desk accordingly.  So I casually called it a "sit a little higher desk".  not amused.

Bought mine one of those too, since I took the sun room/office since im occasionally on call, and she got stuck in the baby’s room.  She also bought one of those ball chairs for when she does sit which would be “rarely if ever”.  I’ll post a picture tomorrow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

Bought mine one of those too, since I took the sun room/office since im occasionally on call, and she got stuck in the baby’s room.  She also bought one of those ball chairs for when she does sit which would be “rarely if ever”.  I’ll post a picture tomorrow.

I hope the ball chair is as versatile as my wife’s treadmill- it’s able to function as a clothes hanger 50 weeks of the year. 

  • Hook 'Em 4
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, to go counter to the spirit of the thread...

We're watching Texas vs Tech basketball and she remembers that Tech played Gonzaga in March Madness 2019. out of nowhere, she asks, "Gonzaga doesn't play football do they?  I've never seen their scores."

 

I damn near got all teary eyed.  So proud.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m watching basketball in the bedroom when I hear the dog growl and snap, then she shrieks, from the living room.  I do nothing because I know it’s the dog snapping at the cat, which he does about twice a month when he is irritated and the cat walks near him. 
wife comes in about 15 minutes later mad as she can be.

“Aren’t you going to come check on me?!”  

“Why? He snapped at the cat right?”  

“You can’t be sure of that, act like you care about your wife!”  

/deep breath

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

53 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I’m watching basketball in the bedroom when I hear the dog growl and snap, then she shrieks, from the living room.  I do nothing because I know it’s the dog snapping at the cat, which he does about twice a month when he is irritated and the cat walks near him. 
wife comes in about 15 minutes later mad as she can be.

“Aren’t you going to come check on me?!”  

“Why? He snapped at the cat right?”  

“You can’t be sure of that, act like you care about your wife!”  

/deep breath

Pato dM:  "Well, it was the dog / cat situation, correct?"

Mrs. PdM:  "Yes, but that's not the point."

PdM:  "Actually, yes... that IS the point."

Mrs. PdM, storming off:  tone

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, slorch said:

Ok, to go counter to the spirit of the thread...

We're watching Texas vs Tech basketball and she remembers that Tech played Gonzaga in March Madness 2019. out of nowhere, she asks, "Gonzaga doesn't play football do they?  I've never seen their scores."

 

I damn near got all teary eyed.  So proud.

Baby Hat GIF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I’m watching basketball in the bedroom when I hear the dog growl and snap, then she shrieks, from the living room.  I do nothing because I know it’s the dog snapping at the cat, which he does about twice a month when he is irritated and the cat walks near him. 
wife comes in about 15 minutes later mad as she can be.

“Aren’t you going to come check on me?!”  

“Why? He snapped at the cat right?”  

“You can’t be sure of that, act like you care about your wife!”  

/deep breath

"If you had been hurt you would have yelled at me long before now."

  • Hook 'Em 3
  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, slorch said:

Ok, to go counter to the spirit of the thread...

We're watching Texas vs Tech basketball and she remembers that Tech played Gonzaga in March Madness 2019. out of nowhere, she asks, "Gonzaga doesn't play football do they?  I've never seen their scores."

 

I damn near got all teary eyed.  So proud.

I was in the company of a couple guys and couple gals yesterday. I mentioned to the group the story about the olympic swimmer getting arrested after storming the capitol. One of the girls goes "What? Michael Phelps?"

TommyLee.jpg

 

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Modessit said:

Setting: Driving somewhere with wife and kids in the car and passing near ABIA.

Wife: I wonder where that plane took off from?

Me: What?

Wife: I was just wondering about that plane.

Me: What plane?

Wife: That one up there. (Points.)

Me: What about it?

Wife: I wonder where it took off from?

Me: Probably the airport.

Wife: (pauses) Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

Your wife sounds hot

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, ztejas said:

I was in the company of a couple guys and couple gals yesterday. I mentioned to the group the story about the olympic swimmer getting arrested after storming the capitol. One of the girls goes "What? Michael Phelps?"

TommyLee.jpg

 

Nah, that’s WAY more Ryan Lochte.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, nnm said:

Not the picture the board was waiting for. 

1 hour ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

That looks like a Time Out desk.

It had more stuff on it but she had cleaned up a bit.

Like I said she got the baby’s room as her WFH office so I got her the standing desk and that ball chair.  I also got a new chair for my desk too.  Now my old desk sitting chair is her main chair and I haven’t seen that desk at standing level in months.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife is a careless non-optimizing shopper, and it drives my neurotic OCD mad.

I'm the person to obsessively research shit on the web, scout for best price with free shipping.  She's the type of person to buy shit from the big box store based on what's printed on the label.

Say we need a vacuum cleaner - "someone told me Electrolux is good, i will only consider Electrolux.  This model says it has 'TurboBoost' the other one doesn't, so this must be better"

Or if we're in a foreign country buying a 2$ coffee, without hesitation she'll whip out her debit card that charges 10% forex and 3$ of extra fees on top.  Nevermind I have all these cards and apps optimized for this use, that she wont sign up for because "it's too complicated".

 

On the bright side she's not a spendthrift so I guess that's alright.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife is a careless non-optimizing shopper, and it drives my neurotic OCD mad.
I'm the person to obsessively research shit on the web, scout for best price with free shipping.  She's the type of person to buy shit from the big box store based on what's printed on the label.
Say we need a vacuum cleaner - "someone told me Electrolux is good, i will only consider Electrolux.  This model says it has 'TurboBoost' the other one doesn't, so this must be better"
Or if we're in a foreign country buying a 2$ coffee, without hesitation she'll whip out her debit card that charges 10% forex and 3$ of extra fees on top.  Nevermind I have all these cards and apps optimized for this use, that she wont sign up for because "it's too complicated".
 
On the bright side she's not a spendthrift so I guess that's alright.

You’d be a pain in the ass to live with
  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, 52-80 said:

My wife is a careless non-optimizing shopper, and it drives my neurotic OCD mad.

I'm the person to obsessively research shit on the web, scout for best price with free shipping.  She's the type of person to buy shit from the big box store based on what's printed on the label.

Say we need a vacuum cleaner - "someone told me Electrolux is good, i will only consider Electrolux.  This model says it has 'TurboBoost' the other one doesn't, so this must be better"

Or if we're in a foreign country buying a 2$ coffee, without hesitation she'll whip out her debit card that charges 10% forex and 3$ of extra fees on top.  Nevermind I have all these cards and apps optimized for this use, that she wont sign up for because "it's too complicated".

 

On the bright side she's not a spendthrift so I guess that's alright.

She sounds expensive.  I hope you're getting your money's worth elsewhere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just moved to a new area, and I've been scouting the local restaurant scene. Was craving Chinese something fierce the other night...

Me: This place looks awesome...it's more traditional Chinese/Taiwanese though -- soup dumplings, noodles, etc. -- less of the Americanized rice dishes you're used to.

Her: Oh...ok, but they have noodles. So like Pad Thai, right?

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, TKthunder2 said:

Which chair?  I mean it wouldn’t  surprise me but I don’t see it.

Let’s all be honest. When a poster says he’s going to be posting a pic related to his wife, we’re not looking for a chair in the resulting pic. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, 52-80 said:

My wife is a careless non-optimizing shopper, and it drives my neurotic OCD mad.

I'm the person to obsessively research shit on the web, scout for best price with free shipping.  She's the type of person to buy shit from the big box store based on what's printed on the label.

Say we need a vacuum cleaner - "someone told me Electrolux is good, i will only consider Electrolux.  This model says it has 'TurboBoost' the other one doesn't, so this must be better"

Or if we're in a foreign country buying a 2$ coffee, without hesitation she'll whip out her debit card that charges 10% forex and 3$ of extra fees on top.  Nevermind I have all these cards and apps optimized for this use, that she wont sign up for because "it's too complicated".

 

On the bright side she's not a spendthrift so I guess that's alright.

 

12 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


You’d be a pain in the ass to live with

 

9 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

She sounds expensive.  I hope you're getting your money's worth elsewhere.

Anyone, ANYONE, who tolerates their wife buying an Electrolux or Kirby vacuum cleaner needs to have their testicles severed and implanted where their brains should have been.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Anyone, ANYONE, who tolerates their wife buying an Electrolux or Kirby vacuum cleaner needs to have their testicles severed and implanted where their brains should have been.
If you care what vacuum cleaner your wife uses, you might as well not have testicles to begin with. At least she's vacuuming. If it takes her twice as long to get the floor clean, that's more time she's not bugging you with useless gossip about her coworkers or family.

The only reason my wife has a Dyson is because I bought a Playstation and my her wife-logic concluded she needed to spend an equal amount on something and that's what she chose. As long as I'm not doing it, I don't care.
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Modessit said:

If you care what vacuum cleaner your wife uses, you might as well not have testicles to begin with. At least she's vacuuming. If it takes her twice as long to get the floor clean, that's more time she's not bugging you with useless gossip about her coworkers or family.

The only reason my wife has a Dyson is because I bought a Playstation and my her wife-logic concluded she needed to spend an equal amount on something and that's what she chose. As long as I'm not doing it, I don't care.

Dyson,OK 

Electrolux/Kirby... Fucking rip-off

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Team Dyson, but my wife actually got it on one of those 'Deal Days" or whatever( ask 52-80) and got it for 60%off.

I'm not a pig and clean up after myself.  That vacuum cleaner is light as hell and sucks like no other.  Now the wife on the other hand...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...