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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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13 hours ago, tbone_ said:

No.

And guess what I learned today? That in a time where social gatherings may never happen again we needed a new set of fancy dishes for 12 because the ones we have now suck for dinner parties.

You know those little coffee cups you get with the dish sets that are too small for anything, that we have NEVER FUCKING used in the past 20 years?  These aren't the fancy dishes...just the everyday ones. Yea...and we have a cabinet FULL of gimme coffee cups that are big enough to function properly....  At least some of those get used.  

Some time ago, I suggested we get rid of the tiny ones since they take up space and have never been used. that suggestion was met with great resistance. 

So, since I've been home during the day the last 3 weeks, I've been throwing one away, every other day.   M-W-F...I toss a cup.  I take the weekends off.  18 down to 9 of those useless motherfuckers.  

Question for the long-suffering assholes on this thread.  Should I chunk them all or leave two, and just blame breakage for the missing ones.  I'm not sure which will draw the least attention.  What say you!!!!

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38 minutes ago, hullabelew said:

we have a cabinet FULL of gimme coffee cups

We all do bro. We ALL do. Every birthday, Christmas, fathers day, mothers day, arbor day is an excuse to get a coffee cup with a cute saying on it. 

FWIW, I'm the Worlds Best Dad 18 years running, so back the fuck off.

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2 hours ago, hullabelew said:

Question for the long-suffering assholes on this thread.  Should I chunk them all or leave two, and just blame breakage for the missing ones.  I'm not sure which will draw the least attention.  What say you!!!!

Your first mistake was ever discussing them with her. You should have just started your remediation project on the down low. I promise she would have never noticed and then you could have thrown them all away without ever drawing suspicion. It would have never been brought up again.

Depending on the time lag between talking about it with her and you chucking them, I think you need to go with the breakage excuse and save a couple. Otherwise it's just too suspicious.

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3 hours ago, hullabelew said:

You know those little coffee cups you get with the dish sets that are too small for anything, that we have NEVER FUCKING used in the past 20 years?  These aren't the fancy dishes...just the everyday ones. Yea...and we have a cabinet FULL of gimme coffee cups that are big enough to function properly....  At least some of those get used.  

Some time ago, I suggested we get rid of the tiny ones since they take up space and have never been used. that suggestion was met with great resistance. 

So, since I've been home during the day the last 3 weeks, I've been throwing one away, every other day.   M-W-F...I toss a cup.  I take the weekends off.  18 down to 9 of those useless motherfuckers.  

Question for the long-suffering assholes on this thread.  Should I chunk them all or leave two, and just blame breakage for the missing ones.  I'm not sure which will draw the least attention.  What say you!!!!

Wait, do these little demitasse cups come with a saucer plate or are they extra to use with the saucer in case you don't want to use the proper sized cup that comes with it? If they come with a saucer, isn't she going to notice the saucer doesn't have a corresponding cup? Maybe you have to throw away the saucer too. 

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4 hours ago, hullabelew said:

You know those little coffee cups you get with the dish sets that are too small for anything, that we have NEVER FUCKING used in the past 20 years?  These aren't the fancy dishes...just the everyday ones. Yea...and we have a cabinet FULL of gimme coffee cups that are big enough to function properly....  At least some of those get used.  

Some time ago, I suggested we get rid of the tiny ones since they take up space and have never been used. that suggestion was met with great resistance. 

So, since I've been home during the day the last 3 weeks, I've been throwing one away, every other day.   M-W-F...I toss a cup.  I take the weekends off.  18 down to 9 of those useless motherfuckers.  

Question for the long-suffering assholes on this thread.  Should I chunk them all or leave two, and just blame breakage for the missing ones.  I'm not sure which will draw the least attention.  What say you!!!!

is there any chance this little charade does not end with an Amazon box full of a replacement set of upgraded "useless motherfuckers"  on your front porch?  

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Just now, Dennis Taylor said:

is there any chance this little charade does not end with an Amazon box full of a replacement set of upgraded "useless motherfuckers"  on your front porch?  

Which will immediately be put on the kitchen island food prep area, unpacked, and the box thrown into the backyard without the island ever being wiped down.

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5 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

And the old flatware doesn’t quite go with the new plates

You can’t put new plates and flatware in an old dishwasher

What’s the point of putting anew dishwasher in if you don’t remodel the kitchen

Congratulations throwing those cups away just cost you forty grand

NMAS, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Edit: Years ago I spent about a grand on very nice new flatware.  Well of course Mrs Shooter only wanted to use it for special occasions.  What the fuckever, I don't care. Fast forward to about a year ago, "it's such a waste just leaving them in the drawer and only using them once or twice a year, let's use them all the time".  Again, what the fuckever, I don't care.

Last weekend I noticed all the spoons are gone except one.  Facepalm

Edited by SHOOTER12
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My wife pointed out that our water bill seemed high.  Less than 10 minutes later she is opening windows to the house to let in fresh air then she goes outside with the kids for a bit.   I walk under a vent and notice the AC is on.     The night before we had a discussion about the kids schedule and she offered to take over completely the morning routine and I would prepare their lessons.   I thought this seemed like a great idea.  I typically start lesson time by 9 AM.  10:15 the first kid was ready to start.  10:30 the second kid joins us and the littlest comes over to color as well.    I am glad I received such a demonstrations on efficiency, organization, and frugality.   

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8 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

is there any chance this little charade does not end with an Amazon box full of a replacement set of upgraded "useless motherfuckers"  on your front porch?  

Amazon?  Lulz.  It’ll be a BOGO deal from Neimann Marcus, and she’ll order 36 since 18 of them will be free 

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11 minutes ago, Nivek said:

My wife pointed out that our water bill seemed high.  Less than 10 minutes later she is opening windows to the house to let in fresh air then she goes outside with the kids for a bit.   I walk under a vent and notice the AC is on.     The night before we had a discussion about the kids schedule and she offered to take over completely the morning routine and I would prepare their lessons.   I thought this seemed like a great idea.  I typically start lesson time by 9 AM.  10:15 the first kid was ready to start.  10:30 the second kid joins us and the littlest comes over to color as well.    I am glad I received such a demonstrations on efficiency, organization, and frugality.   

you're just Randall Flagging her Mother Abigail, you insensitive bastard (or, as my wife says, 'turd').

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On 4/10/2020 at 7:49 AM, hullabelew said:

Question for the long-suffering assholes on this thread.  Should I chunk them all or leave two, and just blame breakage for the missing ones.  I'm not sure which will draw the least attention.  What say you!!!!

been there, done that.  when she started to ask questions, I told her I'd give her all the answers after she blew me.

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On 4/10/2020 at 8:30 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

We all do bro. We ALL do. Every birthday, Christmas, fathers day, mothers day, arbor day is an excuse to get a coffee cup with a cute saying on it. 

FWIW, I'm the Worlds Best Dad 18 years running, so back the fuck off.

eb4d02b4a93a0f96fdc83d5d1108cfa4.jpg

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