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Trash Pandas


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We live in sem-rural Missouri.  Small town, about 60 miles outside of St. Louis.  We are on 3 acres, so it's not like I'm out in the middle of nowhere without neighbors.  We have had some raccoons start to visit us at night.  They are coming up on the back deck and scrounging for bird seed.  They also knock my hummingbird feeders down and drink the sugar water.  We also have chickens, so I need to get rid of the trash pandas before the look for a new food source, our chickens.

We got a trap and set it out.  The first night, they stuck their stupid raccoon arms through the trap and ate all of the bait that way.  Never set the trap off.  Next night, we used bigger stuff and left the trap on safe to try to get them to think it's okay to go into the trap.  They ate everything.  Next night we tried the same approach but left the trap armed.  They ate everything without setting the trap off again.  The next night we used peanut butter spread onto a piece of cardboard with birdseed sprinkles for added enticement.  We also put some boards all around the trap, leaving only the door available for entry.  This time it worked.  I woke up at 2:30 AM and sure enough, there was a raccoon in the trap.  I left it out there until morning and then drowned the thing.  I have to admit, I felt a little bad killing it in this manner.  I think a bullet to the head would be much more humane.

So, my question to the Surly hoard, what type of rifle/round will be quiet enough to shoot from inside a window without waking anyone up and kill the vermin from about 20 yards?  If I can do that, then I'm sure that I won't disturb my neighbors, whose house is about 200 yards away.  I've looked at some air rifles, but to get the killing power it looks like there will still be a fairly loud crack as the round leaves the muzzle.

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I'm rural as well with the same issue. I don't kill the coons that were live-trapped. We relocate them to a more remote area and let somebody else deal with the fallout.

Actually we haven't trapped one in years. We leave a radio, tuned to a country station, playing all night and it seems to do the trick. We don't bring in the cat food every night like we used to do. Our hummingbird feeders are hung from climb-proof poles in the garden as are the regular bird feeding stations around the yard. Killing the critters that are just doing critter things is something I try to avoid. I made the attractive nuisance, the least I can do is take responsibility for keeping it out of their reach.

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Yeah, we have a radio in the coop, but the raccoons just walk right by it on the way to the deck. 

I did think about relocating, but decided that I didn't want to push the problem on to someone else. 

I think I'll relocate the hummingbird feeders.

Oh, and yes, I felt like an asshole killing the thing.

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nuisance are nuisance, don't matter how cute.

i used to like squirrels.  then i had a pecan tree.  during pecan season, the assholes would only half eat unripe green pecans and shit them all over my backyard patio.  damn disgusting.  wasteful motherfuckers.  it was an annual 3 months of hell.  i'd spend hours shooting them with a pellet gun.  more always came, like vampires drawn to a pool of blood.

 

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2 hours ago, You don't know me said:

We live in sem-rural Missouri.  Small town, about 60 miles outside of St. Louis.  We are on 3 acres, so it's not like I'm out in the middle of nowhere without neighbors.  We have had some raccoons start to visit us at night.  They are coming up on the back deck and scrounging for bird seed.  They also knock my hummingbird feeders down and drink the sugar water.  We also have chickens, so I need to get rid of the trash pandas before the look for a new food source, our chickens.

We got a trap and set it out.  The first night, they stuck their stupid raccoon arms through the trap and ate all of the bait that way.  Never set the trap off.  Next night, we used bigger stuff and left the trap on safe to try to get them to think it's okay to go into the trap.  They ate everything.  Next night we tried the same approach but left the trap armed.  They ate everything without setting the trap off again.  The next night we used peanut butter spread onto a piece of cardboard with birdseed sprinkles for added enticement.  We also put some boards all around the trap, leaving only the door available for entry.  This time it worked.  I woke up at 2:30 AM and sure enough, there was a raccoon in the trap.  I left it out there until morning and then drowned the thing.  I have to admit, I felt a little bad killing it in this manner.  I think a bullet to the head would be much more humane.

So, my question to the Surly hoard, what type of rifle/round will be quiet enough to shoot from inside a window without waking anyone up and kill the vermin from about 20 yards?  If I can do that, then I'm sure that I won't disturb my neighbors, whose house is about 200 yards away.  I've looked at some air rifles, but to get the killing power it looks like there will still be a fairly loud crack as the round leaves the muzzle.

Doing well for yourself there Mr Spackler

 

i got that going for me Caddy Shack GIF

Edited by Grade of D as in David
Remember the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang
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Mix some Golden Malrin and Coke in a little dish and leave it out.  Cocksuckers can't resist it, and it kills them almost instantly.

Much cheaper and quieter.  Requires less vigilance on your end (other than keeping pets away).

Edited by Al_4_ISU
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On 9/9/2019 at 3:33 PM, Al_4_ISU said:

Mix some Golden Malrin and Coke in a little dish and leave it out.  Cocksuckers can't resist it, and it kills them almost instantly.

That seems like an expensive way to kill but I guess there are worse ways to go.

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