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2020 Coaching Staff


DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt

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What the fuck is our infatuation with failed coaches from Rutgers?  Our position coaching search seems to be coaches from UH, Kanasa, Rutgers.  I remember when we could fucking could take whomever we fucking wanted from successful power 5 schools like Auburn.  Now we are hiring coaches fired from Rutgers.  What in the fucking fuck...

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4 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

a) i want to punch you in the face.

b) it's the best texas can do GIVEN THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION WHICH YOU OUTLINED!!WDIUHGWOFIH

A 3 year guaranteed contract with a significant raise will get the interest of a lot of good db coaches.  They're going to the Rutgers well again because it's easy and they don't know what they're doing.

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2 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

 

b) it's the best texas can do GIVEN THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION WHICH YOU OUTLINED!!WDIUHGWOFIH

You have to quit saying this dude.  That would be a valid discussion for a coordinator hire.  Not fucking position coaches.  It's flat out wrong.  Sure, we may not be able to pull the elite of the elite, but there is a massive gap between the top 2-3 DB coaches in the country and a dude that has coached 1 Fucking Year at Rutgers.

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1 minute ago, victory88 said:

What the fuck is our infatuation with failed coaches from Rutgers?  Our position coaching search seems to be coaches from UH, Kanasa, Rutgers.  I remember when we could fucking could take whomever we fucking wanted from successful power 5 schools like Auburn.  Now we are hiring coaches fired from Rutgers.  What in the fucking fuck...

Wait til we replace Bevo with this guy. We'll get him a fetching orange cape.

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18 minutes ago, Burt Macklin said:

You’re on your A game this morning. If Valai is hired, it will not be because he’s the best Texas can do. It will be because we have a HC who has no clue how to run a hiring process, a DC who’s just as incompetent and clueless on that front, and an AD who is hopefully nowhere near as competent but isn’t stepping in on the CB coach process.  

Since you nitpick my posts with such delicious aplomb, going to assume you meant Incompetent. Unless you really want an AD who is nowhere near as competent as Tom Herman. 

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It's like this dumbfuck didn't learn from his first set of incompetent hires.  

Torrian Gray is a solid DB coach with 19 years of coaching experience at Florida.  He makes $450k.  Offer him 600k and make him say no.  That's a real fucking DB coach that can coach and recruit.  Took Jahari Rodgers and Ethan Pouncy from us.  If they say no, call the Michigan, Clemson, Oregon DB coach.  They all make 400k.  Offer them the same.  One will take the fucking pay raise and come to Austin, Texas and enjoy not paying state income tax.  Instead we go to the worst P5 school and go after a guy that was fired.  Am I taking crazy pills?  What the fuck is wrong with Herman.  Does he still think he's at UH?

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17 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

a) i want to punch you in the face.

b) it's the best texas can do GIVEN THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION WHICH YOU OUTLINED!!WDIUHGWOFIH

No it's not, you fucking clown. The reality of the situation isn't nearly as dire as you proclaim, because if it were we wouldn't have sniffed Yurich either. You're underestimating the value of paying guys top dollar. If you honestly think the best Texas can do is a staff of guys who've only coached one year before, even in this situation, I feel legitimately sorry for you. But of course, if you actually believed that, then why the fuck are you on here posting and bitching? It is what it is, amirite? 

I don't know how you can sit here and whine so badly about this situation while at the same time be proffering to everyone posting here that things are so shitty that we're basically fucking Texas Tech, Baylor, or Liberty. 

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1 minute ago, kevwun said:

Tom Herman is going to end up getting fired because he couldn't stop hiring coaches who weren't good enough for fucking Rutgers.

Then so be it.  He'll either get results or he won't.  Jay Valai could be next season's Joe Brady for all we know.  We won't know if Herman is repeating the same mistakes he did last year until November at the earliest.    

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2 minutes ago, bejezuz said:

Then so be it.  He'll either get results or he won't.  Jay Valai could be next season's Joe Brady for all we know.  We won't know if Herman is repeating the same mistakes he did last year until November at the earliest.    

I'll take this bet right now. He won't be the next Joe Brady.

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3 minutes ago, victory88 said:

It's like this dumbfuck didn't learn from his first set of incompetent hires.  

Torrian Gray is a solid DB coach with 19 years of coaching experience at Florida.  He makes $450k.  Offer him 600k and make him say no.  That's a real fucking DB coach that can coach and recruit.  Took Jahari Rodgers and Ethan Pouncy from us.

Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. It's not "Like."

If fairness, we gave away Ethan Pouncy with his brother, but the rest of your take is on point. I'm sure someone will show up here and say "Well, how do you know we DIDN'T offer that to Gray? Do you know?"

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5 minutes ago, victory88 said:

It's like this dumbfuck didn't learn from his first set of incompetent hires.  

Torrian Gray is a solid DB coach with 19 years of coaching experience at Florida.  He makes $450k.  Offer him 600k and make him say no.  That's a real fucking DB coach that can coach and recruit.  Took Jahari Rodgers and Ethan Pouncy from us.  If they say no, call the Michigan, Clemson, Oregon DB coach.  They all make 400k.  Offer them the same.  One will take the fucking pay raise and come to Austin, Texas and enjoy not paying state income tax.  Instead we go to the worst P5 school and go after a guy that was fired.  Am I taking crazy pills?  What the fuck is wrong with Herman.  Does he still think he's at UH?

It's about alignment.  

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3 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

No it's not, you fucking clown. The reality of the situation isn't nearly as dire as you proclaim, because if it were we wouldn't have sniffed Yurich either. You're underestimating the value of paying guys top dollar. If you honestly think the best Texas can do is a staff of guys who've only coached one year before, even in this situation, I feel legitimately sorry for you. But of course, if you actually believed that, then why the fuck are you on here posting and bitching? It is what it is, amirite? 

I don't know how you can sit here and whine so badly about this situation while at the same time be proffering to everyone posting here that things are so shitty that we're basically fucking Texas Tech, Baylor, or Liberty. 

i think our head coach is a clown. i think he is incapable of building a competent staff (does that mean he can't find 1 good hire out of several? of course not).

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4 minutes ago, bejezuz said:

Then so be it.  He'll either get results or he won't.  Jay Valai could be next season's Joe Brady for all we know.  We won't know if Herman is repeating the same mistakes he did last year until November at the earliest.    

I've been waiting for this stupid take to show up. You just compared a CB coach to a guy who overhauled an entire offensive scheme, in one season, to fit the talent at hand and call plays with almost perfect execution to a guy who's coaching CBs. It's impossible for him to be Joe Brady because ti's impossible for a CB coach to have that kind of impact on a program, period. 

1 minute ago, MoJames said:

I'll take this bet right now. He won't be the next Joe Brady.

Indeed.

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We recruited talented DBs, who have played like shit and are clearly poorly coached.

I can understand disliking his dismissal, but I can’t understand crying about it and shouting down people who won’t share a tissue.

Our DBs can’t tackle, don’t look for the ball, and can’t cover JAGs from Kansas.

NEXT

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2 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

i think our head coach is a clown. i think he is incapable of building a competent staff (does that mean he can't find 1 good hire out of several? of course not).

I agree with you on all your points, but it still doesn't mean jobs at Texas, even with a boob at HC, and in a rut, are even REMOTELY close to the way you're illustrating the situation now. Herman found a decent hire, and he paid out the nose for it. Why? Because we have the money, and Yurich wanted to call plays again, and the talent is here. The ability for other coaches to come here, get paid top dollar, work with talent, and increase their value exists for position coaches exists as well. Don't be dense. 

My issue isn't with Herman being a fucking dipshit, he clearly is taking every opportunity to pull down his pants and illustrate to all of us that he is...but shitting on "situation at Texas" is fucking stupid. There's plenty to still attract elite coaches here, even if they're coaching under that fucking renob. But Herman actually has to fucking interview them, or stop finding reasons not to hire them. 

TL;DNR: Blast Herman, but coaching under Herman isn't what is keeping elite coaches here. It's our dipshit head coach not being able to recognize or desire top coaching talent. 

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On most sports boards there are a few combative assholes who know everything and are always negative, a few sunshine pumpers, and a lot of mainly uninformed mindless followers. Just as a public service, can someone list the aggressive know-it-all assholes on here who post incessantly but should be placed on Ignore? Thanks in advance for saving us all a lot of time.

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4 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

One shit hire won't tank this staff - especially at a position the DC will likely be all all up in anyways.  He still has a chance with the LB/DL/TE/WR hires.

 

It won't.  But it sure as hell is leaving Herman wide open to criticism if our 4 and 5 star CB's continue to struggle.  It's baffling why Herman continues to make it so damn hard.

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3 minutes ago, The Earl of Texas said:

We recruited talented DBs, who have played like shit and are clearly poorly coached.

I can understand disliking his dismissal, but I can’t understand crying about it and shouting down people who won’t share a tissue.

Our DBs can’t tackle, don’t look for the ball, and can’t cover JAGs from Kansas.

NEXT

Who on this thread is sad we're canning Washington? Like seriously, even one person. 

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6 minutes ago, Royale with cheese said:

On most sports boards there are a few combative assholes who know everything and are always negative, a few sunshine pumpers, and a lot of mainly uninformed mindless followers. Just as a public service, can someone list the aggressive know-it-all assholes on here who post incessantly but should be placed on Ignore? Thanks in advance for saving us all a lot of time.

@Royal With Cheese

That's where I would start with ignore.

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4 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I agree with you on all your points, but it still doesn't mean jobs at Texas, even with a boob at HC, and in a rut, are even REMOTELY close to the way you're illustrating the situation now. Herman found a decent hire, and he paid out the nose for it. Why? Because we have the money, and Yurich wanted to call plays again, and the talent is here. The ability for other coaches to come here, get paid top dollar, work with talent, and increase their value exists for position coaches exists as well. Don't be dense. 

My issue isn't with Herman being a fucking dipshit, he clearly is taking every opportunity to pull down his pants and illustrate to all of us that he is...but shitting on "situation at Texas" is fucking stupid. There's plenty to still attract elite coaches here, even if they're coaching under that fucking renob. But Herman actually has to fucking interview them, or stop finding reasons not to hire them. 

TL;DNR: Blast Herman, but coaching under Herman isn't what is keeping elite coaches here. It's our dipshit head coach not being able to recognize or desire top coaching talent. 

i think we're talking in circles. "the situation at Texas' is that 'our dipshit head coach not being able to recognize or desire top coaching talent.' could we make better hires if the reality of our situation wasn't true? sure.

anyways, back to this guy...if he's the hire, we should immediately bring in lupoi as well. that puts us a couple of steps closer to urban in 2021.

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15 minutes ago, Liquor and Poker said:

My only solace in connection with the overall direction these hires are taking is that I was so absolutely sure that Herman was THE GUY when we hired him.  This proves that no opinion of mine on this subject is worth considering.  

Are you saying that hiring Herman was like bagging a 10 from the drag show?

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49 minutes ago, bejezuz said:

Then so be it.  He'll either get results or he won't.  Jay Valai could be next season's Joe Brady for all we know.  We won't know if Herman is repeating the same mistakes he did last year until November at the earliest.    

This is a terrible fucking take that is so far off base and absurd in its foundational assumptions that it makes anything more than a brief dismissal as a response not worth the fucking keystrokes. 

38 minutes ago, Royale with cheese said:

On most sports boards there are a few combative assholes who know everything and are always negative, a few sunshine pumpers, and a lot of mainly uninformed mindless followers. Just as a public service, can someone list the aggressive know-it-all assholes on here who post incessantly but should be placed on Ignore? Thanks in advance for saving us all a lot of time.

This is a strong know-it-all 10th post. I can help you out, since you seem like you'd be a blast at parties. You can put me on ignore after reading this, and I'll do the same for you after typing this, and we'll forget either of us existed. 

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1 hour ago, Royale with cheese said:

On most sports boards there are a few combative assholes who know everything and are always negative, a few sunshine pumpers, and a lot of mainly uninformed mindless followers. Just as a public service, can someone list the aggressive know-it-all assholes on here who post incessantly but should be placed on Ignore? Thanks in advance for saving us all a lot of time.

select * from table [users];

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19 minutes ago, closetojumping said:
1 hour ago, Royale with cheese said:

On most sports boards there are a few combative assholes who know everything and are always negative, a few sunshine pumpers, and a lot of mainly uninformed mindless followers. Just as a public service, can someone list the aggressive know-it-all assholes on here who post incessantly but should be placed on Ignore? Thanks in advance for saving us all a lot of time.

This is a strong know-it-all 10th post. I can help you out, since you seem like you'd be a blast at parties. You can put me on ignore after reading this, and I'll do the same for you after typing this, and we'll forget either of us existed. 

You obviously didn't get his username's reference to the film, "Pulp Fiction."  If you had, you'd known that he and his posts were bound to be hilarious and very original.

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