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Tom Herman Is Pressing His Buttcheeks Against Your Mirror & Forcing You To Stare At It


closetojumping

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Just now, Voluminous Banality said:

You have to admit that the Jake Smith wildcat play was a serious tendency-buster on 4th down. I don't think we've ever seen that one before.

Absolutely!

Now run the fucker about 40 seconds earlier than when you did and voila. 

That's more of an example of bad clock management than play calling. Just took too long for the play to come in, too long to get set, too long to surprise. 

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2 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Congrats on the stupid-ass Look-at-me-look-at-me-look-at-me thread title.

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Posting a new topic inherently involves some "look at me", otherwise people wouldn't write new shit and they'd keep their thoughts to themselves. Is that concept lost on you? Do you think people are starting new threads on BBS's all over the world with some sense of humility and reluctance? It's a bizarre thing to be a whiny bitch about, but if that's your thing, fine by me. I'm sure your history of thread title writing is full of propriety and decorum which should serve as both the template and standard for the rest of the board's posting behavior. 

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3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Posting a new topic inherently involves some "look at me", otherwise people wouldn't write new shit and they'd keep their thoughts to themselves. Is that concept lost on you? Do you think people are starting new threads on BBS's all over the world with some sense of humility and reluctance? It's a bizarre thing to be a whiny bitch about, but if that's your thing, fine by me. I'm sure your history of thread title writing is full of propriety and decorum which should serve as both the template and standard for the rest of the board's posting behavior. 

Is your argument that your thread title is no more attention-begging than others?

And since when does sarcasm = being a whiny bitch?  That's a really odd position to take, but hey dude, you do you.

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1 minute ago, hookem17 said:

Are there problems with Herman’s tendencies and coaching staff? Clearly. But the team is 5-2 and competing for the Big 12. It may not be pretty, but it sure as hell beats the Charlie Strong years. 

I think his reaction to this early season slog will show us whether Herman is a run-of-the-mill P5 level coach (aka still lightyears better than Charlie) or one that can actually take us to the promised land.

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11 minutes ago, utee94 said:

It seems like Tom Herman pressing his buttcheeks against my window and forcing me to stare at it, would be more effective than Tom Herman pressing his buttcheeks against my mirror and forcing me to stare at it.  I mean, if he's pressing his cheeks against my mirror, then isn't the front part of his body in the way of me actually seeing his buttcheeks?

I really spent more time than I wanted to, trying to picture this

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5 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Is your argument that your thread title is no more attention-begging than others?

And since when does sarcasm = being a whiny bitch?  That's a really odd position to take, but hey dude, you do you.

Dude, you are accusing me of being an attention whore. Water is wet. I used the premise to mock you because of the silliness of it. There are nothing but attention whores here, and sure, if this thread title makes me the attention-whoriest, give me the fucking prize and I will put it on the wall.

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1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

Dude, you are accusing me of being an attention whore. Water is wet. I used the premise to mock you because of the silliness of it. There are nothing but attention whores here, and sure, if this thread title makes me the attention-whoriest, give me the fucking prize and I will put it on the wall.

Too late, ags already put it up on THEIR wall when they joined the SEC.

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5 minutes ago, RollLeft said:

Its weird fucking feeling when i feel the need to agree with Ctj in public.  I wish it were not so.  Damn you m'fer.

If it is any consolation, credit to you for writing the best neg rep comment I ever received on Shaggy. I remember it now, paraphrasing with: "I'm going to murder you and fuck your wife." That was poetry, sir.

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3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

If it is any consolation, credit to you for writing the best neg rep comment I ever received on Shaggy. I remember it now, paraphrasing with: "I'm going to murder you and fuck your wife." That was poetry, sir.

Unless you're a bot, I'm guessing he hasn't murdered you yet.  But did he at least fuck your wife?

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39 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

There is no excuse for this kind of stupidfuckery at a blue blood, much less ours. 

This epitomizes Texas football in the time most of us have been alive. It's mind-boggling, what this program has settled for. It's mind-boggling that we've been as mediocre as much of the time as we have over the past 35 years.

Going back to the 1984 season, which is an arbitrary point that I selected in order to maximize the extent of our mediocrity, we've won our conference six times, one of those by probation-related default (1994). Six times out of 35 seasons and while we're not eliminated from 2019, we don't look like this is the year to add our whopping seventh conference title to the wall.

Alabama has won six national championships in the past 35 (actually 27) years. 

But let's be patient with obviously bad decisions. There's no need for accountability as long as things are generally, glacially trending in the right direction. 

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24 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

I really spent more time than I wanted to, trying to picture this

You're welcome.

11 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

This epitomizes Texas football in the time most of us have been alive. It's mind-boggling, what this program has settled for. It's mind-boggling that we've been as mediocre as much of the time as we have over the past 35 years.

Going back to the 1984 season, which is an arbitrary point that I selected in order to maximize the extent of our mediocrity, we've won our conference six times, one of those by probation-related default (1994). Six times out of 35 seasons and while we're not eliminated from 2019, we don't look like this is the year to add our whopping seventh conference title to the wall.

Alabama has won six national championships in the past 35 (actually 27) years. 

But let's be patient with obviously bad decisions. There's no need for accountability as long as things are generally, glacially trending in the right direction. 

I don't mind counting a probation-default conference championship, the ags cheated and got caught and finally got put on probation.  The sentence wasn't nearly tough enough, but it was at least something.  No, the problem with the 1994 title is that aside from the probation-related default, it was actually shared 5 ways among Texas, Rice, Baylor, Tech, and TCU.  That's why it's difficult to consider it as anything other than yet another failed season.

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32 minutes ago, hookem17 said:

Are there problems with Herman’s tendencies and coaching staff? Clearly. But the team is 5-2 and competing for the Big 12. It may not be pretty, but it sure as hell beats the Charlie Strong years. 

I have mixed feelings on this.  While I don't disagree that this is better than the Strong years it's also the same thinking that accepted years of underperformance during Mack's tenure with shitty coaches since, "Hey at least it's better than Mackovic".  Underperformance is still underperformance and shouldn't be accepted indefinitely because things have been worse before.

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Dude, you are accusing me of being an attention whore. Water is wet. I used the premise to mock you because of the silliness of it. There are nothing but attention whores here, and sure, if this thread title makes me the attention-whoriest, give me the fucking prize and I will put it on the wall.

You sure you want it? It’s a Fathead of fitlump.
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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

 

  1. Personnel Selection on offense, 2017-Present: From Herman’s first game against Maryland to now, we continue to witness absolutely baffling personnel choices on offense that are completely fucking indefensible.
    • The empty set with a mediocre-to-shitty TE and any ol’TB lined up wide makes no sense. Every defense we play knows that that look is going to be flashed. It’s fucking absurd watching teams mostly ignore both players routinely and then bracketing one or more of the WRs.  Meanwhile, Washington and Jake Smith are on the sidelines, witnessing this, and wondering why the fuck they came here.
    • Picking apparent favorites at various spots and continuing to trot them out in order to watch them completely disappear and/or underperform. 
  2. Attempting to use, or claiming to use, complex analytics for decision-making on certain down and distance throughout the games:

  3. If you feel good about guys like David Beaty and Chris Ash skulking around the program and providing advice to Herman, you might want to consider some uncomfortable commonalities.

  4. Finally, Casey Horny being employed at Texas and shadow-coaching and leading the special teams agenda. This rape-enabling, victim-shaming cunt of a man is actively drawing a paycheck from Texas and in doing so, taking a giant hogger shit all over the game day performance of the program's special teams.

Anywho. Thoughts? 

Subscribed... thanks Ctj, Please forward to CDC and Herman!!! 🤘

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I understand that coaches are people too, and have families. They also make 6 figures on the reg, so they aren't exactly living paycheck to paycheck either. That said, I will never understand the coaching dynamic of friends over results. At this point the issues are so wide spread, I'm not sure changing coordinators would fix anything, and outside of maybe Herb Hand the entire needs to be replaced. Could you actually replace an entire staff after 3 years?

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