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Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread


Nice Guy Eddie

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17 hours ago, Larry T. Spider said:

Heading to the in-laws for three days tomorrow morning. We used to go thanksgiving and Christmas but I have managed to reduce it down. It’s always a minor disaster with some really obnoxious people. Let’s meet the cast of characters so that the play by play will be easier later

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29 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Fuck. I knew it was a trap. Fuck.

FIL and I went out to check deer stands. Wife calls. She’s heading to church (where she will meet her aunt, uncle, and grandpa who are all coming here later) solo. MIL has bailed on church to “make sure everything gets done”.

Here comes the Hail Mary cooking effort. Wish us luck

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1 hour ago, davidg said:

 


Please post up a video when the drunkest fool tries to restart the fire with that can of gasoline in the background.

ER’s are fun places during the holidays.

 

If you want a great time waster, check gas can fire fails on youtube.  Glorious.

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I thought for sure I wouldn't have anything to add this year with my parents passed away, the in-laws 6000 miles away and us not going anywhere near the crazy part of my family.
Just found out a relative who lives in Chicago decided to come down to Texas despite his sister and parents telling him not to due to his Mom's medical issues. In addition to coming uninvited, at some point in the last day or two his wife left him and ran off with the kids.
Merry Christmas everybody.
 


You gotta just lean into this and report from the other side
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12 minutes ago, blacklab said:

I thought for sure I wouldn't have anything to add this year with my parents passed away, the in-laws 6000 miles away and us not going anywhere near the crazy part of my family.

Just found out a relative who lives in Chicago decided to come down to Texas despite his sister and parents telling him not to due to his Mom's medical issues. In addition to coming uninvited, at some point in the last day or two his wife left him and ran off with the kids.

Merry Christmas everybody.

 

That's fucked up

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2 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

 


Its a semi legit fire pit. Just had to burn off the pile of leaves and branches that had been raked on top of it

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I see ya got a hollered out log in that thar far.  those rule.

Spoiler

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2 hours ago, davidg said:

 


Please post up a video when the drunkest fool tries to restart the fire with that can of gasoline in the background.

ER’s are fun places during the holidays.

 

feh.  a little dab (or six) 'll do ya

Spoiler

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42 minutes ago, blacklab said:

I thought for sure I wouldn't have anything to add this year with my parents passed away, the in-laws 6000 miles away and us not going anywhere near the crazy part of my family.

Just found out a relative who lives in Chicago decided to come down to Texas despite his sister and parents telling him not to due to his Mom's medical issues. In addition to coming uninvited, at some point in the last day or two his wife left him and ran off with the kids.

Merry Christmas everybody.

 

Got damn, it's amazing how many quality family/wife posts you share.

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1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

 


Does he not understand what happens to plastic in microwaves?

Wait - he’s from Missouri

 

This fucker is so fucking stupid I am honestly concerned he may have a brain injury/nohyperbole.

 

Just picked up a variety pack of mini bar sized liqour bottles.

My plan is to leave them laying around their house like claymores then watch the chaos ensue.

Edited by MissingInAction
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23 minutes ago, Larry T. Spider said:

We made it to church on time as did SIL and her fam. MIL there 1 hour and 15 minutes early. Sisters kids were hooligans and they had to leave 25 mins into the service. Probably over a hundred kids there and they were the only two with issues but that wasn’t a surprise.

Showed up at the house and BIL was hammered and sweating bullets. Under control for now though. 

SIL is doing a great job of keeping MIL in check. It will turn into fighting by tomorrow for sure. This thing always starts off slow.

A couple of things to look for tomorrow. Does BIL bring a trashy girl over? What do I get from MIL for Christmas. I got a dustpan  two years ago along with a lecture that mine was too flimsy.

For those of you offering advice: take it to the Dr. fucking Phil thread. This is for bitching. Also, I’m winning the long game. The crazier they act, the less I have to come here. Down from about 15 days a year to 5. 

This is better than Shakespeare. 

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33 minutes ago, Larry T. Spider said:

We made it to church on time as did SIL and her fam. MIL there 1 hour and 15 minutes early. Sisters kids were hooligans and they had to leave 25 mins into the service. Probably over a hundred kids there and they were the only two with issues but that wasn’t a surprise.

Showed up at the house and BIL was hammered and sweating bullets. Under control for now though. 

SIL is doing a great job of keeping MIL in check. It will turn into fighting by tomorrow for sure. This thing always starts off slow.

A couple of things to look for tomorrow. Does BIL bring a trashy girl over? What do I get from MIL for Christmas. I got a dustpan  two years ago along with a lecture that mine was too flimsy.

For those of you offering advice: take it to the Dr. fucking Phil thread. This is for bitching. Also, I’m winning the long game. The crazier they act, the less I have to come here. Down from about 15 days a year to 5. 

you don't want it solved.

That's fair, but you own part of it too.  License to bitch somewhat restricted.

Sure, we indulge the play-by-play... that is certainly no foul.

Edited by Iceman
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It’s not my battle to fight with the MIL on this stuff. She won’t fuck with me directly anymore because she knows I will give it right back. That’s why I get passive aggressive presents instead. It’s somewhat nice being able to sit back and watch the show without being involved in it too much. Think of me as a narrator.

Edit: there were some pretty good stories before she learned that I posted on hornfans over 10 years ago.

Edited by Larry T. Spider
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SIL came over to open presents.

Started bitching about A Christmas Story, "This is the most horrible movie evah..."

Left.  As soon as my wife and I fell asleep on the couch, my wife received a string (beeping) of 6 straight messages.  Guess who?  SIL bitching about receiving a check with her married name still on it.  Their grandmother - who gets easily confused and was recently put into an assisted living center - had the audacity to put the wrong name on a Christmas check.  Fuck's sake.

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The bomb.. it dropped ..for me anyway

Bitch ass sister sent me a text with pics of my military records I thought had been lost for the past billion years.

Nothing but a "Hahaha look what I have! " with it

I dont know the story of how she got them yet, but the rage and thoughts of fire bombing her home are growing.... fuck

It looks like my seperation paper work which I had with me when returning.

 

Edited by MissingInAction
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15 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

SIL came over to open presents.

Started bitching about A Christmas Story, "This is the most horrible movie evah..."

Left.  As soon as my wife and I fell asleep on the couch, my wife received a string (beeping) of 6 straight messages.  Guess who?  SIL bitching about receiving a check with her married name still on it.  Their grandmother - who gets easily confused and was recently put into an assisted living center - had the audacity to put the wrong name on a Christmas check.  Fuck's sake.

Good lord. That’s next level.

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We made it to church on time as did SIL and her fam. MIL there 1 hour and 15 minutes early. Sisters kids were hooligans and they had to leave 25 mins into the service. Probably over a hundred kids there and they were the only two with issues but that wasn’t a surprise.

Showed up at the house and BIL was hammered and sweating bullets. Under control for now though. 

SIL is doing a great job of keeping MIL in check. It will turn into fighting by tomorrow for sure. This thing always starts off slow.

A couple of things to look for tomorrow. Does BIL bring a trashy girl over? What do I get from MIL for Christmas. I got a dustpan  two years ago along with a lecture that mine was too flimsy.

For those of you offering advice: take it to the Dr. fucking Phil thread. This is for bitching. Also, I’m winning the long game. The crazier they act, the less I have to come here. Down from about 15 days a year to 5. 

Should have handed the dustpan to your wife and told her that her mother accidentally put your name on her gift.

 

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9 hours ago, ABSR said:

This is fools gold.  They will patch things up in time to ruin your Saturday football viewing.  
 

Moose our front should’a told ya.

It was a close call brother. Sis in law calls her, she’s in the other room on phone for 30 + mins. I thought the dream was dead. She comes back out crying and pissed saying she’s “done with her”. If all goes to plan, stupid birthday parties might be thrown out the window too. Sis Inlaw is an uptight bitch, who always hosts Wife’s side of the family for every Holiday, events...etc, and everyone caters to her. 
 

 Best Xmas present yet!
 

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals! 

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50 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

The bomb.. it dropped ..for me anyway

Bitch ass sister sent me a text with pics of my military records I thought had been lost for the past billion years.

Nothing but a "Hahaha look what I have! " with it

I dont know the story of how she got them yet, but the rage and thoughts of fire bombing her home are growing.... fuck

It looks like my seperation paper work which I had with me when returning.

 

I take it this is a bad thing. 

 

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Nothing to report here. My family is super normal.


Only thing i have for tonight is my dad thought the $1.89 jar of traditional Ragu sauce for my nieces and daughter was absolutely delicious. He thought it was from an italian market/ restaurant in St Paul he frequents. LOL. Hes a real meat and potatoes eater.

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Nothing to report here. My family is super normal.


Only thing i have for tonight is my dad thought the $1.89 jar of traditional Ragu sauce for my nieces and daughter was absolutely delicious. He thought it was from an italian market/ restaurant in St Paul he frequents. LOL. Hes a real meat and potatoes eater.




Cosetta? Did he think Ragu was Cosetta?
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We’re at my SIL’s house. My wife cooked dinner for our family, her mom, our nieces, SIL, SIL’s live-in boyfriend, SIL’s best friend and her live-in boyfriend. 
 

SIL, nieces, and the boyfriend ate dinner with the boyfriend’s family. They did eat a 2nd dinner with us when they returned an hour later than scheduled. Good thing we’re heading home tomorrow or my wife would kill someone. My drinking schedule was uninterrupted, so I’m all good. Hopefully, my wife will be in a better mood tomorrow and give it up. 

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