Jump to content

Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread


Nice Guy Eddie

Recommended Posts

36 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Met some rando Brownsville native in Padre during Spring Break '90. He was fucking hilarious, and one of his best stories involved him spiking the ice tray at his parents' dinner party with acid. Not a ton, like four hits scattered over 12 cubes, so everybody got just a little over half a hit each. He said the guests were all saying things like "Oh my god, this is the best punch ever! Where did you get the recipe?" whil he,  the son, just watched and cackled.

So, file that away for next year.  

All fun and games until they all get fired for failing their drug tests at work. 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

This thread made me pay attention during Xmas day, instead of just drinking and napping as normal. There must have already been a dozen cringy embarrassing moments so far and we are only halfway thru the day. So many awkward comments.

and.....???

Link to comment
Share on other sites

BIL left to go visit trashy gf instead of bringing her here. Missed out on a damn good opportunity there. People are coming over at 4:00. He will be late....and drunk. MIL will be pissed about both.
SILs husband cooked the rib roast last year and it was great. MIL is refusing to let him do it again this year because it wasn’t burned to her tasting. SIL saves the day again and he is cooking 1 of the 3. I’ll be first in line for the good shit.
We have enough fire wood for the next 5 years. FIL just left to buy fire wood. Whatever, he probably just wanted a break.
 
At this point I feel like we're all part of this family. Almost like I'm there.
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

This thread made me pay attention during Xmas day, instead of just drinking and napping as normal. There must have already been a dozen cringy embarrassing moments so far and we are only halfway thru the day. So many awkward comments.

and.....???

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He said BIL went out to see trashy GF this year instead of bringing her over, but there's still hope he'll come home drunk and late for dinner. I for one hope he changes his mind and they both show up shit faced later.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Okie State said:

Into the high ABV beers and BIL is trying to convince me that diversification is not the correct approach to retirement investing. Hoo boy here we go!

I think he is trying to tell you that their retirement plan is to move in with you.  He just may not know it.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did find out why my nephews new wife wasn’t at the first Christmas this weekend, apparently she went on a full bender, tried to choke her 3 year old out, cleaned out their checking account, while he now has a full restraining order against her, although no one is sure where she now is, while he starts divorce proceedings. 

Edited by Royalfan5
Spelling
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did find you why my nephews new wife wasn’t at the first Christmas this weekend, apparently she went on a full bender, tried to choke her 3 year old out, cleaned out their checking account, while he now has a full restraining order against her, although no one is sure where she now is, while he starts divorce proceedings. 
Holy shit.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Royalfan5 said:

Did find you why my nephews new wife wasn’t at the first Christmas this weekend, apparently she went on a full bender, tried to choke her 3 year old out, cleaned out their checking account, while he now has a full restraining order against her, although no one is sure where she now is, while he starts divorce proceedings. 

Late entry takes the lead....

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Royalfan5 said:

Did find you why my nephews new wife wasn’t at the first Christmas this weekend, apparently she went on a full bender, tried to choke her 3 year old out, cleaned out their checking account, while he now has a full restraining order against her, although no one is sure where she now is, while he starts divorce proceedings. 

Sounds like my wife's cousin. But at least she moved on to get knocked up by some dude in rehab with her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, G650 said:

Sounds like my wife's cousin. But at least she moved on to get knocked up by some dude in rehab with her.

That’s probably on the table here at some point. The current theory is that she’s squatting in her uncle’s house while he’s a guest of the state for bit. I think the upshot is that he legally adopted the older girl, so the kids can stay together with him instead of sending the older one into the system 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Met some rando Brownsville native in Padre during Spring Break '90. He was fucking hilarious, and one of his best stories involved him spiking the ice tray at his parents' dinner party with acid. Not a ton, like four hits scattered over 12 cubes, so everybody got just a little over half a hit each. He said the guests were all saying things like "Oh my god, this is the best punch ever! Where did you get the recipe?" whil he,  the son, just watched and cackled.

So, file that away for next year.  

And then he added that a couple of them got pulled over on the highway driving home. The cop asked them if they knew how fast they were going. They guessed, "80?" The cop answered, "20."

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I realize this is a mild story, but this is only one example: The feigned Incompetence act is exhausting. my MIL saw a recipe for cranberry moonshine (cranberries soaked in moonshine) and gave it a try. She bought the only moonshine available at her local liquor store. It wasn’t that good. We tried and told her that (based on our trip to Gatlinburg this past summer) that’s its ok, but it’d be good with better moonshine. She starts making excuses, about the only moonshine this, and I’ve never that. We weren’t judging, we were complementing the effort, and trying to help, but whatever. 
 

she also didn’t understand my statement that Chrissy Teagan has “fat girl tits”, but that’s her problem.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did find out why my nephews new wife wasn’t at the first Christmas this weekend, apparently she went on a full bender, tried to choke her 3 year old out, cleaned out their checking account, while he now has a full restraining order against her, although no one is sure where she now is, while he starts divorce proceedings. 
Crazy while i sit on the couch surrounded by mostly sane in laws... this type of shit is happening to someone out there
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Royalfan5 said:

Did find out why my nephews new wife wasn’t at the first Christmas this weekend, apparently she went on a full bender, tried to choke her 3 year old out, cleaned out their checking account, while he now has a full restraining order against her, although no one is sure where she now is, while he starts divorce proceedings. 

Pics?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I missed the family drama. My sister texted me that my aunt suddenly decided my grandparents’ urn needs to be buried in a cemetery (They we’re cremated like 8 years ago) against their wishes/will because my grandpa “told her” with no proof. Turned into a shouting match and my sister may have called my aunt a “hypocritical, self righteous, entitled catholic bitch.”

And my 13 year old nephew didn’t think to FaceTime me in from Colorado to see it.  Worthless kids these days. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

well after the WORST.CHRISTMAS.EVER last year (post #44) this year pales in comparison...

sister got shitfaced last night so was hungover, my prime rib and homemade mac&cheese were excellent, and i successfully neutralized a brewing teen girl/single mom confrontation/screaming fight/meltdown.

merry christmas! 😁

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I realize this is a mild story, but this is only one example: The feigned Incompetence act is exhausting. my MIL saw a recipe for cranberry moonshine (cranberries soaked in moonshine) and gave it a try. She bought the only moonshine available at her local liquor store. It wasn’t that good. We tried and told her that (based on our trip to Gatlinburg this past summer) that’s its ok, but it’d be good with better moonshine. She starts making excuses, about the only moonshine this, and I’ve never that. We weren’t judging, we were complementing the effort, and trying to help, but whatever. 
 
she also didn’t understand my statement that Chrissy Teagan has “fat girl tits”, but that’s her problem.

Ain’t nuthin’ wrong with Teagan tits.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Royalfan5 said:

Did find out why my nephews new wife wasn’t at the first Christmas this weekend, apparently she went on a full bender, tried to choke her 3 year old out, cleaned out their checking account, while he now has a full restraining order against her, although no one is sure where she now is, while he starts divorce proceedings. 

 

Royal Rumble !!!!

a new wrestler running into the ring !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Royalfan5 said:

Did find out why my nephews new wife wasn’t at the first Christmas this weekend, apparently she went on a full bender, tried to choke her 3 year old out, cleaned out their checking account, while he now has a full restraining order against her, although no one is sure where she now is, while he starts divorce proceedings. 

I see someone married my one of my ex girlfriends...  No give backs! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

 


So Baylor is her school of choice?

 

That was a layup on a 6-foot goal. 


Some of these recent entries are strong to quite strong. Unfortunately I ran out of rep like 5 pages ago. 
 

Given the Wednesday Christmas this year, many will be stuck with extended family through the beginning of next week. I’m looking forward to the escalating tales of hostility as that family time wears about a week too long. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...