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Official 2019 bitch about family/holiday drama thread


Nice Guy Eddie

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1 hour ago, ChickenSandwich said:

T-Day intervention on life support after my cousin got drunk and told her brother my Aunt’s plan. Apparently all hell broke loose this weekend and dinner is off. 
 

im devastated and pissed my cousin couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut. Now who’s going to stop the Devil?

all of the disappointment. Non of the Turkey. This weekend sucked. Thanks Tom. 

Get your own turkey brah, and feast it up. Sucks that people have to fuck things up for others, especially at this time of year.

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1 hour ago, ChickenSandwich said:

T-Day intervention on life support after my cousin got drunk and told her brother my Aunt’s plan. Apparently all hell broke loose this weekend and dinner is off. 
 

im devastated and pissed my cousin couldn’t keep her damn mouth shut. Now who’s going to stop the Devil?

all of the disappointment. Non of the Turkey. This weekend sucked. Thanks Tom. 

You're disappointed? I was so looking forward to being there, in spirit of course.

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1 hour ago, tx 3 putt said:

the controversy is raging in our family for T-Day. I'm anti HEB pumpkin pie, too much nutmeg. others are anti Costco pumpkin pie, it's too big. will we find a compromise ????

I like Costco pumpkin pie, but their cherry pie is the best. Too bad they don’t have the latter available very often.

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On 11/21/2019 at 5:22 PM, MissingInAction said:

You bastards... I almost feel like I am obligated to you all to make this happen.

I think he and his family live in hollowed out trees and hog carcasses, so no idea if they will show. They might steal a car and make it though.

In my family, those are the ones that for sure make it.

Have you seen that I've received seven clicks of support for the family picture?  I think after 5 likes it becomes a legally binding obligation on your end.

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On 11/24/2019 at 2:18 AM, Longboard Horn said:

WTF is the purpose of a gender reveal party? Also, her mother is insisting that I bring a gift. Why the fuck would I bring a gift if I don't know the sex of the baby until the party? I have informed my step-sister and her mother that I'm not bringing a gift.

Sometimes I wonder why we went with the "surlytexas" site name.  Then I read posts like this and am reminded.

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On 11/24/2019 at 4:18 AM, Longboard Horn said:

I've been informed that we're not doing anything for Thanksgiving Day, but instead my oldest sister(who is pregnant) will be hosting "Thanksgiving" at her house on that following Saturday to do her gender reveal party. WTF is the purpose of a gender reveal party? Also, her mother is insisting that I bring a gift. Why the fuck would I bring a gift if I don't know the sex of the baby until the party? I have informed my step-sister and her mother that I'm not bringing a gift. Thank god sis is on my side with it.

I, for one, would like to hear an update post-reveal. This "trend" leaves me nonplussed. With each of our children, my spouse and I telephoned our respective parents and shared our news of the pregnancy and then relied (and were happy) to have them spread the joy among the rest of the family. It's the kind of thing that makes them feel good, you know? For everyone else, when I was showing, there was the announcement!

If you ever have to take a gift and you don't know the gender, buy one or two classic baby board books. They aren't as cheap as they used to be, but they ship well and reading is important. We had a niece that we gave a little library of classic books and enclosed a note describing why we (every one in our family) had selected each of the titles and that someday when she could read and write on her own, perhaps she could add a note of her own about which ones were her favorites. Her parents saved the books (it wasn't that many) in a box for when she has her own children.

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36 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

What if the baby is trans?

Yeah, I heard the new thing is to not assign a gender to the child until they have a chance to self-identify.  Because God may have fucked up when he attached the cock and balls where a vag was supposed to go.

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Tomorrow's my b'day. A big one. I'm not as old as Army Brat's t-shirts, but getting there. Gonna hit HEB around 6AM (yes, they'll be open) to knock out the bit of shopping we need done for our small feast Thursday (6 total). Should be home by 7. I'll get breakfast after that then be waiting in the parking lot of Total Wine when they open. If I've got my shit straight I'll be home with the booze by 10:30 and won't have to deal with the unclean masses for several days. 

Be safe, you surly bastards. 

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11 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

Both pecan and pumpkin are required.  I had to explain to my wife that pumpkin cheesecake, which was very good, is not a substitute for pumpkin pie.

Wife (no pics) is making a Pumpkin Creme Brulee with a Cranberry Compote, and also cranking out batches of Pumpkin Cranberry Muffins.  And they are all exceptional.

Doesn’t mean I won’t be scoring Pumpkin Pie wherever I can find it for the next month. 

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10 hours ago, HenryJames said:

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Piecaken, @Armybrat. Piecaken.

that thing literally looks like the pie equivalent of that cat in the memes at the table opposite of the woman screaming at it.  

Puh-can pie!  she screams.

And then this cat/pie hybrid shouts PEE-Can pie!  but there's also other "layers" to the meme.  

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23 hours ago, Telegraph_it said:

Pecan pie, pronounced pēˌkan, is the only pie anyone should be having on Thanksgiving.

 

Wrong.  

First, in Texas, pecan is pronounced pəcahn ("puhcahn").  This is not debatable.  Maybe other places in the country pronounce it "pēˌkan," but as my late grandmother used to explain, a "pee can" is something you keep under your bed.  As a second generation direct descendant of the Old Three Hundred, she cannot be questioned on things like this.  

Second, the pumpkin pie, as most respondents have noted, is not only appropriate, but required. 

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20 minutes ago, nnm said:

Wrong.  

First, in Texas, pecan is pronounced pəcahn ("puhcahn").  This is not debatable.  Maybe other places in the country pronounce it "pēˌkan," but as my late grandmother used to explain, a "pee can" is something you keep under your bed.  As a second generation direct descendant of the Old Three Hundred, she cannot be questioned on things like this.  

Second, the pumpkin pie, as most respondents have noted, is not only appropriate, but required. 

My grandmother on  the maternal side and grandfather on the paternal are also second generation direct descendants...so we are probably related and I am slightly inbred. 

Do you have a 10 year old second cousin that looks like Kenny Powers running around?

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Just now, MissingInAction said:

My grandmother on on the maternal side and grandfather on the paternal are also second generation direct descendants...so we are probably related. 

Do you have a 10 year old second cousin that looks like Kenny Powers running around?

Ha.  No, but I have second cousins that live on our ranch on the NM border that are ready for the black helicopters to come in and try to take their guns.  Domes built out of gunnite and everything.  

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26 minutes ago, nnm said:

Wrong.  

First, in Texas, pecan is pronounced pəcahn ("puhcahn").  This is not debatable.  Maybe other places in the country pronounce it "pēˌkan," but as my late grandmother used to explain, a "pee can" is something you keep under your bed.  As a second generation direct descendant of the Old Three Hundred, she cannot be questioned on things like this.  

Second, the pumpkin pie, as most respondents have noted, is not only appropriate, but required. 

I agree with your pronunciation, it is definitely not "pee can". I do not think the notation pēˌkan is pronounced like "pee can" though.

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30 minutes ago, G650 said:

Pecan pie is god's greatest gift to the planet. Pumpkin pie is essentially dog vomit.

And anyone buying a fucking pie from the grocery store is not qualified to speak on this matter.

Pecan pie is the only real pie, IMO, and is a work of culinary art if prepared and baked properly at home.

All the rest.... pumpkin, cherry, blueberry.... etc. are just fruit pastries. So no biggie if they come from a store or commercial establishment, any more than a donut.

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