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Trivial things that make you surly


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All,

As PER previous discussion. Sincere thanks to the team.

Cc:Frank Lapidus. - adding you in.

Thanks,
Llano

Llano.estacado@Clownpenis.fart
123 Fake street
Houston TX
Personal Cell: 512 -123-4567
Business Cell: 281-123-4567
Office: 832-123-4567
Reception: 832-123-1000
Clown penis.jpg

“One team. One dream. Achieve it. Live it”

This is a business confidential work product and doesn’t reflect clownpenis co, it’s board or shareholders. If you received by accident or in error the composer is dumb.

Think twice about the environment and please print and shred this email only if you work for woodcock, the pulp and timber division of ClownPenis.Holdings

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34 minutes ago, Llano Estacado said:

All,

As PER previous discussion. Sincere thanks to the team.

Cc:Frank Lapidus. - adding you in.

Thanks,
Llano

Llano.estacado@Clownpenis.fart
123 Fake street
Houston TX
Personal Cell: 512 -123-4567
Business Cell: 281-123-4567
Office: 832-123-4567
Reception: 832-123-1000
Clown penis.jpg

“One team. One dream. Achieve it. Live it”

This is a business confidential work product and doesn’t reflect clownpenis co, it’s board or shareholders. If you received by accident or in error the composer is dumb.

Think twice about the environment and please print and shred this email only if you work for woodcock, the pulp and timber division of ClownPenis.Holdings
 

And half the time, Clown penis.jpg is just a red X, and half the time it is interpreted as a separate attachment, so thanks for fucking up my ability to easily search for emails from you that actually contain substantive attachments. 

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People who don't use turn signals.  

Idiots who insist on moving a whole home or apartment on the back of a pickup truck which includes the king sized mattress which ends up on the side of the road.  Or worse in the middle of 1-10 in San Antonio near UTSA and scares the living shit out of you like what occurred to me as one flew off in front of me.    ESTUPIDOS!!!!!!!!

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1 hour ago, Llano Estacado said:

All,

As PER previous discussion. Sincere thanks to the team.

Cc:Frank Lapidus. - adding you in.

Thanks,
Llano

Llano.estacado@Clownpenis.fart
123 Fake street
Houston TX
Personal Cell: 512 -123-4567
Business Cell: 281-123-4567
Office: 832-123-4567
Reception: 832-123-1000
Clown penis.jpg

“One team. One dream. Achieve it. Live it”

This is a business confidential work product and doesn’t reflect clownpenis co, it’s board or shareholders. If you received by accident or in error the composer is dumb.

Think twice about the environment and please print and shred this email only if you work for woodcock, the pulp and timber division of ClownPenis.Holdings
 

Oh man, so much this.  There's one guy who has such large as image attachments in his signature that any email he sends is going to be close to 1mb just because of his fucking signature.

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41 minutes ago, Uncle Nate said:

Oh man, so much this.  There's one guy who has such large as image attachments in his signature that any email he sends is going to be close to 1mb just because of his fucking signature.

But how will people know that I have a LinkedIN/twitter/facebook/instagram account?!?!

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You guys aren't the only ones.
0c9350090834b7631edfbb79aea33c3a.jpg

Haha. An even better one is that we have a label with the mill emergency number on the spyder phone. The conference call number is hanging on the wall in the conference room. I watched a co-worker give out the emergency number as the conference call number one time. It didn’t take them long to call back and ask for the correct number. This same person also dialed the emergency number himself thinking it was the conference call key code.
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2 hours ago, Nueces River Rat said:

People who don't use turn signals.  

Idiots who insist on moving a whole home or apartment on the back of a pickup truck which includes the king sized mattress which ends up on the side of the road.  Or worse in the middle of 1-10 in San Antonio near UTSA and scares the living shit out of you like what occurred to me as one flew off in front of me.    ESTUPIDOS!!!!!!!!

One of Darwins finest took himself out of the gene pool years ago in Waco. He was in the back of the pickup holding onto the mattress as it was flying down Valley Mills Drive. When it flew out he did too. Busted his melon, bad.

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4 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

I don't have any data to prove this but it seems like officials go out of their way to NOT call a safety when a ballcarrier is tackled in the end zone, via favorable interpretation of forward progress. 

The signal for a safety is usually pretty long in coming.  2 points and a KO at stake here.  FG, book it.  TD, usually pretty quick unless it's in the middle of a scrum at the goal line.

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On 4/24/2019 at 7:42 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

All of this does put me in mind of my other pet peeve at fast food joints. Multiple times, I have heard this exact conversation on a cell phone in line at the same Taco Bell (different callers each time):

"Taco Bell." 

(pause while the other person talks...)

"Tacos."

 

On 4/24/2019 at 9:39 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Both?

...and naoch?

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23 hours ago, EE2B said:


Yup. I’ve been on a couple of calls where either I or someone else has muted the call and then accidentally hung up instead of turning off the mute because both buttons look the same and are right next to each other.

I was on a call with like 10 people at different locations, thought I was on mute so while one guy was talking I lifted one cheek and ripped a huge fart.  He stuttered and stopped talking and there was an awkward silence and some giggling.  At first I was like “oh shit!”, but then realized nobody could tell who did it.  

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18 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

So I'm at Chuck E Cheese (Garland) for the 2nd time in 5 days.  Wife's school fundraiser Fri (wtf?), youngest son's fundraiser today. 

At least on a cruise one has the option to jump overboard.

 

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When you have to make an online profile or during a check out and they automatically tick the box for “want to receive emails with promotions” or whatever, and you don’t see it. Then you get all this fucking emails.

Related...

When you finally stop being lazy and decide to unsubscribe to said email and even though you follow the process to completion, you still get emails.

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On 4/30/2019 at 12:47 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

I don't have any data to prove this but it seems like officials go out of their way to NOT call a safety when a ballcarrier is tackled in the end zone, via favorable interpretation of forward progress. 

I feel like the last 4-5 safeties I've caught in a game weren't even tackled ball carriers.  They were all fumble out of bounds, intentional grounding in the endzone, etc kind of safeties.

If it was a tackled ball carrier, it was a deep sack.  It seems almost impossible to safety a RB anymore.

Edited by Al_4_ISU
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20 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I was on a call with like 10 people at different locations, thought I was on mute so while one guy was talking I lifted one cheek and ripped a huge fart.  He stuttered and stopped talking and there was an awkward silence and some giggling.  At first I was like “oh shit!”, but then realized nobody could tell who did it.  

Working from home one day, same deal, thought I was on mute, went to take a piss.  Except there were only four people on the call and the guy who works with me knew it was me.  No one said a word at the time.  Big huge horse piss complete with flush.

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Getting behind a diesel vehicle on the road.

Fucking assholes that always leave it running when they stop somewhere.

They should move the exhaust pipe to the front of the radiator so these dipshits can inhale that shit while they drive.

I hope someday soon diesel goes up $20 per gallon.

.

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Uptalk.

I fucking hate this speech pattern so got damn much. I immediately calculate minus 50 IQ points from the speaker and it’s hard to like whatever they’re jabbering on about. 

I try to keep an open mind and enjoy hearing the opinions of other, but practitioners of uptalk are shooting themselves in the persuasion foot.  

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26 minutes ago, NAVY said:

Uptalk.

I fucking hate this speech pattern so got damn much? I immediately calculate minus 50 IQ points from the speaker and it’s hard to like whatever they’re jabbering on about?

I try to keep an open mind and enjoy hearing the opinions of other, but practitioners of uptalk are shooting themselves in the persuasion foot?

FIFY

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People who put their trash and recycling out the night before when there is like a 90% chance of severe weather. 

I just love waking up to my neighbors’ trash/recycles strewn out all over the neighborhood and yard. 

Come on fucksticks.  Check the weather forecast before putting your trash out overnight. 

Edited by Uncle Nate
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People who put their trash/recycling on the street instead of the curb.  At some point I'm going to clear the street with this bullshit.
Pretty sure our recycle bin came with specific instructions to put them in the street with the wheels against the curb. I assume so the truck can pick them up.
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16 hours ago, NAVY said:

Uptalk.

I fucking hate this speech pattern so got damn much. I immediately calculate minus 50 IQ points from the speaker and it’s hard to like whatever they’re jabbering on about. 

I try to keep an open mind and enjoy hearing the opinions of other, but practitioners of uptalk are shooting themselves in the persuasion foot.  

What's uptalk?  I'm sure I've heard it in the wild but didn't realize what its technical name was.

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1 minute ago, BurntEyes said:

Like totally.

I was not familiar and don't know anyone professionally or personally who speaks like this. Is this some hipster millennial shit or what?

It's some California shit that has bled through to the rest of the country. But yeah if you are older than a millennial and talk like this you're either a dumb bimbo or flaming.

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10 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Like totally.

I was not familiar and don't know anyone professionally or personally who speaks like this. Is this some hipster millennial shit or what?

Listen to Tim Tebow on ESPN. He's terrible about it. 

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13 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Like totally.

I was not familiar and don't know anyone professionally or personally who speaks like this. Is this some hipster millennial shit or what?

Sure you have. The other form of upspeak is making a statement sound like a question. Millennials are real bad about it. Drives me nuts. 

Here is a great example:  

 

Edited by Uncle Nate
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7 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

I watch the games on ESPN with the sound off. 

I do not watch the talking heads or any of the other bullshit they put out. 

Enjoy your Tebow Talks

Some how you got that I enjoy it? 

13 minutes ago, lateshow said:

Listen to Tim Tebow on ESPN. He's terrible about it. 

Out of this ^?

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16 hours ago, Uncle Nate said:

People who put their trash and recycling out the night before when there is like a 90% chance of severe weather. 

I just love waking up to my neighbors’ trash/recycles strewn out all over the neighborhood and yard. 

Come on fucksticks.  Check the weather forecast before putting your trash out overnight. 

Nextdoor is just the best after a massive rainstorm.

URGENT: SOMEONE STOLE RECYCLING CART

No, you unbelievable dumbass. Your fucking cart washed down the street when the three inches of rain fell. You can find it, it's the only one sitting all by itself a few houses down.

 

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37 minutes ago, Uncle Nate said:

Sure you have. The other form of upspeak is making a statement sound like a question. Millennials are real bad about it. Drives me nuts. 

Here is a great example:  

 

Oh God, now I know what you’re talking about and yes it is super annoying.  I had to work with a guy that did this all the time but the worst part was he was from Pennsyltucky, West Virginia or some other yankee hick region.  Imagine that shit with a horrible nasty grating accent.  Thankfully he got transferred before I was forced to kill him.

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9 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Like totally.

I was not familiar and don't know anyone professionally or personally who speaks like this. Is this some hipster millennial shit or what?

Yes you have. The other form of upspeak is making a statement sound like a question. Millennials are real bad about it. Drives me nuts. 

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