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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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2 hours ago, nnm said:

Hell's aroma is the smell of rancid grease in every Allsups everywhere. It permeates every molecule of clothing, your hair, your skin, like cigarette smoke from bars in the days before smokers were exiled to the street, or the hellish BO from Seinfeld. It hits you in the face when you walk in the door, you feel it under your soles as you slide around the counter, and you taste it on the back of your tongue for days after your unfortunate foray into the crypt.

 

20201028_094248.jpg

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14 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

These newfangled plastic tubes of toothpaste that can't permanently retain the form of the roll-up-from-the-bottom technique like the old ones made out of asbestos, lead, and discarded fetuses could. 

Would toothpaste be better in a hand pump container like hand soap?  Could we profit?

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Not so trivial, really, but John Deere forces users of their greens mowers with hydraulic reels to buy a $250 hyd motor rebuild kit in order to get a replacement seal for the output shaft. The seals are the only part of these motors that we have ever had fail. The parts guy won't even give us a PN for the seal. I just found a replacement from McMaster Carr for $7.50. Fuck JD

Edit to add that our previous greenskeeper bought 10 rebuild kits just to get the seals. There is a reason that he is our previous greenskeeper.

Edited by Shoxthemonkey
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6 hours ago, ztejas said:

 

20201028_094248.jpg

False.

Allsups burritos are not wrapped in foil... but I'm still down with the spirit of the post.

The closest things to Allsups burritos  that city folk might understand is 2 JITB tacos for $.99, and you order 4 of them when the clubs let out.

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5 minutes ago, slorch said:

False.

Allsups burritos are not wrapped in foil... but I'm still down with the spirit of the post.

The closest things to Allsups burritos  that city folk might understand is 2 JITB tacos for $.99, and you order 4 of them when the clubs let out.

They might have been in 1987

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I remember the last time I enjoyed Allsups burritos.  It was October 25, 2017.  I had to run a Gimpel valve out to Big Spring and was making my way back to Houston on I-20.  I know this because I was listening to Game 2 of the World Series.  I pulled into an Allsups outside of Abilene.  I bought 5 burritos.  Two for now and three for the next day.  None of them saw Waco.  Finally got home in the middle of the night and had a wonderful assplosion.  End of story.

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9 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

I remember the last time I enjoyed Allsups burritos.  It was October 25, 2017.  I had to run a Gimpel valve out to Big Spring and was making my way back to Houston on I-20.  I know this because I was listening to Game 2 of the World Series.  I pulled into an Allsups outside of Abilene.  I bought 5 burritos.  Two for now and three for the next day.  None of them saw Waco.  Finally got home in the middle of the night and had a wonderful assplosion.  End of story.

Gimpel valve?

 

57D419FD-7D59-45AF-99C6-70EF0B07EE44.jpeg

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1 hour ago, slorch said:

False.

Allsups burritos are not wrapped in foil... but I'm still down with the spirit of the post.

The closest things to Allsups burritos  that city folk might understand is 2 JITB tacos for $.99, and you order 4 of them when the clubs let out.

Deep fried burritos in the H‑E‑B hot counter are a decent approximation. 

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3 hours ago, Lat22 said:

I remember the last time I enjoyed Allsups burritos.  It was October 25, 2017.  I had to run a Gimpel valve out to Big Spring and was making my way back to Houston on I-20.  I know this because I was listening to Game 2 of the World Series.  I pulled into an Allsups outside of Abilene.  I bought 5 burritos.  Two for now and three for the next day.  None of them saw Waco.  Finally got home in the middle of the night and had a wonderful assplosion.  End of story.

You did 'em a favor. 

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12 hours ago, ChickenSandwich said:

Deep fried burritos in the H‑E‑B hot counter are a decent approximation. 

Nah, at HEB, they use clean grease. No Allsups anywhere has changed the grease since at least the Reagan administration. Gives the burritos and the entire store a particular taste and smell. 

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I'm beginning to hope this election causes massive rioting and results in the end of the election process as we know it.  It will be worth it if the fucking spam texts stop.  I estimate that I have unsubscribed to every fucking candidate on the ballot and they still keep coming.  Fuck them all.  Next one I get I'm responding with a dick pic.

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1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm beginning to hope this election causes massive rioting and results in the end of the election process as we know it.  It will be worth it if the fucking spam texts stop.  I estimate that I have unsubscribed to every fucking candidate on the ballot and they still keep coming.  Fuck them all.  Next one I get I'm responding with a dick pic.

Won't work, I tried that method.

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2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm beginning to hope this election causes massive rioting and results in the end of the election process as we know it.  It will be worth it if the fucking spam texts stop.  I estimate that I have unsubscribed to every fucking candidate on the ballot and they still keep coming.  Fuck them all.  Next one I get I'm responding with a dick pic.

Not to mention the entire forest that has been leveled for the 5-10 flyers I get in the mail every day.

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On 10/28/2020 at 9:41 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

None of the places I was referring to have a bar (the Tommy's on campus does but not the one near me). Two don't even allow indoor seating. There are pandemic issues. But in normal circumstances, if I can sit at a bar and have a drink while they're preparing my food, I'm probably going to eat my meal right there at the bar. 

I also don't have a wife and kids so I have that freedom. 

You, no wife, say it ain’t so......

 

just fucking with you...

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On 10/28/2020 at 8:06 AM, Kyle said:

The middle school pickup / dropoff line ... it is worse than elementary and high school ... for some reason, Little Johnny feels like this is the right place to finish his breakfast and brush his teeth ... and every parent puts Little Jenny's bag in the trunk, so she has to (once done brushing teeth) get out, mom pops the trunk, walk around and dig through the trunk to get her backpack or flute ... and everyone must get out at the absolute closest spot to the door ... not like five kids can get out at once because one poor bastard has to walk and extra 50 feet.

Sheeiit.  My mom used to just stop at the stop sign at the nearest intersection to the school.  I had roughly 3 seconds to GTFO.  I had my bag in hand and seatbelt undone and was out the door and on the sidewalk before it was her turn to go through.  

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On 10/29/2020 at 4:54 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm beginning to hope this election causes massive rioting and results in the end of the election process as we know it.  It will be worth it if the fucking spam texts stop.  I estimate that I have unsubscribed to every fucking candidate on the ballot and they still keep coming.  Fuck them all.  Next one I get I'm responding with a dick pic.

I just reply.....FUCK OFF

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On 10/28/2020 at 7:34 AM, nnm said:

Hell's aroma is the smell of rancid grease in every Allsups everywhere. It permeates every molecule of clothing, your hair, your skin, like cigarette smoke from bars in the days before smokers were exiled to the street, or the hellish BO from Seinfeld. It hits you in the face when you walk in the door, you feel it under your soles as you slide around the counter, and you taste it on the back of your tongue for days after your unfortunate foray into the crypt.

Yes....but their burritos are bad ass

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Hooters. It is so fucking expensive. We get it to go every now and again like tonight. My youngest likes the queso and chips (8.99) and my oldest likes the chicken sandwich and curly fries (13.99!!!). Comes out with tax just shy of $25. I'm not going to stuff the waitress so I leave a $4 tip. Thats 30 dollars for a piece of chicken, fries, and 3 ounces of queso.

It's amazing how they are still open, the joint was at 25% capacity with Monday night football on.

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Hooters. It is so fucking expensive. We get it to go every now and again like tonight. My youngest likes the queso and chips (8.99) and my oldest likes the chicken sandwich and curly fries (13.99!!!). Comes out with tax just shy of $25. I'm not going to stuff the waitress so I leave a $4 tip. Thats 30 dollars for a piece of chicken, fries, and 3 ounces of queso.

It's amazing how they are still open, the joint was at 25% capacity with Monday night football on.

You should be bringing your kids to dine in for the experience
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1 hour ago, markstanco said:

Hooters. It is so fucking expensive. We get it to go every now and again like tonight. My youngest likes the queso and chips (8.99) and my oldest likes the chicken sandwich and curly fries (13.99!!!). Comes out with tax just shy of $25. I'm not going to stuff the waitress so I leave a $4 tip. Thats 30 dollars for a piece of chicken, fries, and 3 ounces of queso.

It's amazing how they are still open, the joint was at 25% capacity with Monday night football on.

You should get your money's worth and stuff the waitress.

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12 hours ago, markstanco said:

Hooters. It is so fucking expensive. We get it to go every now and again like tonight. My youngest likes the queso and chips (8.99) and my oldest likes the chicken sandwich and curly fries (13.99!!!). Comes out with tax just shy of $25. I'm not going to stuff the waitress so I leave a $4 tip. Thats 30 dollars for a piece of chicken, fries, and 3 ounces of queso.

It's amazing how they are still open, the joint was at 25% capacity with Monday night football on.

You really are living the dream, aren’t ya?

Doing this thread right, though...

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27 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Hooters is the trailer park of scantily clad waitress restaurants.

You should try Twin Peaks. Food is way better, waitresses and bartenders are way hotter but.....wear a bullet proof vest.

Nah, the food sucks at both places.  They're both trailer parks.  Only reason I'd suggest Hooters was the shorts.  They switched to that painted on spandex material with a little underbutt sticking out a few years ago and it was nice.  Plus cheaper beer before/after baseball games.  Twin Peaks' girls still running around in Dickie's khaki shorts about as flattering as the ones worn by the cart girl at the exurb muni golf courses.  Both places are a shitholes but if you're an ass-man, it was no contest which uniform was more pleasing to the eye.  

I dunno, haven't been to either in years.  Last time I went to that South Austin Twin peaks to meet a buddy who was leasing some other restaurant in that defunct pad site center.  Girls were cute, but again the shorts......and apparently there was some sort of Cholo convention in town because we were the only guys in there not wearing tank tops and shower shoes.  

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14 hours ago, markstanco said:

Hooters. It is so fucking expensive. We get it to go every now and again like tonight. My youngest likes the queso and chips (8.99) and my oldest likes the chicken sandwich and curly fries (13.99!!!). Comes out with tax just shy of $25. I'm not going to stuff the waitress so I leave a $4 tip. Thats 30 dollars for a piece of chicken, fries, and 3 ounces of queso.

It's amazing how they are still open, the joint was at 25% capacity with Monday night football on.

You're not going to stuff the waitress, or the wife.    

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Pedestrians walking where they shouldn't, and making zero attempts to be visible.

 

Couple times drove down dark, underlit road, and some jaywalking fuckhead is wearing basically all black clothing head to toe, and taking his sweet ass fucking time crossing the street.

Truly deserves to get run over.  Not by me - i don't want to go to jail - but by someone in a big ass truck.

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Pedestrians walking where they shouldn't, and making zero attempts to be visible.
 
Couple times drove down dark, underlit road, and some jaywalking fuckhead is wearing basically all black clothing head to toe, and taking his sweet ass fucking time crossing the street.
Truly deserves to get run over.  Not by me - i don't want to go to jail - but by someone in a big ass truck.

When you exit I-10 into downtown Houston you go around a curve and end up on Smith street. There’s a big homeless camp right there and they are always walking down the exit or crossing it. I’ve almost nailed several homeless dudes coming around that corner.
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