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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

 


Dude....user name does NOT check out. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Also....can you not afford a cup of coffee and a banana? That combo is money for such purposes.

 

Meat and cheese are my Achilles heel.  They snuck up on me. 

The very best "unplugger" I ever used was the grape jelly in the old C rations.  A tin of that on a couple of crackers and an hour later you're trying to shit everything you ever ate.  Now my go-to is homemade sauerkraut.  Gentle, but thorough.  I don't drink coffee, anyway.

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Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

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I was not an English major, but I am with you.  Whether it is a text, an email, a formal memo, a letter, or a novel, if it is written, it should be written to the best of your ability.  Lazy punctuation and grammar, even in a text, reflects a poor education, lack of attention to detail, or both.

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21 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

 

10 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I was not an English major, but I am with you.  Whether it is a text, an email, a formal memo, a letter, or a novel, if it is written, it should be written to the best of your ability.  Lazy punctuation and grammar, even in a text, reflects a poor education, lack of attention to detail, or both.

Amen and amen. 

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1 hour ago, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.

Of all the shit I might give my friends( and relatives) shit about, that has never crossed my mind.

 

Such a dubious transgression...LOL.

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1 hour ago, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

Start ending every sentence with incorrect punctuation? It will drive him mad;

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2 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I was not an English major, but I am with you.  Whether it is a text, an email, a formal memo, a letter, or a novel, if it is written, it should be written to the best of your ability.  Lazy punctuation and grammar, even in a text, reflects a poor education, lack of attention to detail, or both.

fuk yeh:

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21 hours ago, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

k

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On 2/13/2021 at 3:39 PM, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

Point of parliamentary procedure:  When discussing punctuation on Surly, the Oxford comma must not be ignored.  Thems the rules. 

 

 

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On 2/13/2021 at 3:39 PM, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

Hopefully prior to any period you mentioned that he typed like a Phag and that his shit was all regarded.

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On 2/13/2021 at 10:39 PM, dcbc said:

Today, I got called out in a text exchange among several life long friends for ending texts with a period.  I realize that people with low self-esteem seem to have attributed the use of a period at the end of the last sentence of a text as a signal of insincerity, but the fact that another person in his late forties is going to mention that to me has me pretty well pissed off.  I told him it reminded me of the scene from Idiocracy when Luke Wilson is in court, speaking normally, and all of the people from the future are mocking him because normal speech sounds pompous to them.  I also linked the "Cranberry Juice" scene from The Departed for good measure. 

Sorry.  I'm an English major.  A period signifies that the sentence has ended.  Any alternative meaning attributed to it when it appears in a text is beyond asinine.  

Were these people men? I cannot for the life of me imagine telling another adult how to text.

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On 2/13/2021 at 1:10 PM, Scheiss Meister said:

Meat and cheese are my Achilles heel.  They snuck up on me. 

The very best "unplugger" I ever used was the grape jelly in the old C rations.  A tin of that on a couple of crackers and an hour later you're trying to shit everything you ever ate.  Now my go-to is homemade sauerkraut.  Gentle, but thorough.  I don't drink coffee, anyway.

Cheap diabetic chocolate candy. Better than Ex-Lax.

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On 2/15/2021 at 6:52 AM, 956 Worldwide said:

Were these people men? I cannot for the life of me imagine telling another adult how to text.

Yeah, but I have to give the guy credit.  He's funny.  I sent him a picture of my Weber Kettle with 8" of snow around it and a chimney burning on it today.  He responded, asking if I was wearing shorts, and crocs with socks.  That fuckin' guy.

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I love the premade meals sold at Central Market but why do the cashiers have to flip them over in order to scan the barcode? There's always someone who does that shit to me and I end up having a salmon/mashed potato/squash medley. What the fuck! Who mixes all of their food together like that? Babies.

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On 2/12/2021 at 1:34 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Houston drivers make me surly.  They are by far the most incompetent drivers in the entire world, and I've driven in some shithole places.  This morning was the third time in five years that I've been rear ended (go ahead and make the jokes) on I10.  Is it really that hard to leave space between you and the car in front of you and to slow the fuck down when you see brake lights.  One of these days I'm going to go Falling Down on some fuckers in this city.  Fuck all you incompetent texting, eating, and generally shitty ass drivers who need to be relegated to a Metro bus full of covid infected low lifes.

Fuck.  I just got the word that they totaled my vehicle.  I've had it 10 years and put a little over 200,000 miles on it and it was still in great shape and ran beautifully.  It's been the best vehicle I've ever owned and I really wanted to get 300,000 miles out of it.  I know I'm going to get screwed on the settlement and I'm very pissed.  Fuck Houston drivers in the ass with a rusty shovel.  I just put new tires on it too.  Lexus drivers can lick my taint.

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper
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40 minutes ago, Storm the Field said:

Lips got chapped to hell during the cold last week and bottom lip developed a crack in it that has been bugging the shit out of me for the past 5 days now and just refuses to heal. Trivial little thing making me quite surly.

tenor.gif

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48 minutes ago, Storm the Field said:

Lips got chapped to hell during the cold last week and bottom lip developed a crack in it that has been bugging the shit out of me for the past 5 days now and just refuses to heal. Trivial little thing making me quite surly.

super glue might help.

One lip at a time though...

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"You know what they say about our state (insert state), wait 15 minutes and the weather will change."

Yea, Texas and California and New York and Wisconsin and Florida sometimes drop 20 degrees in 2 hours and all the sudden it snows. Or it is sunny and starts raining.

Thats called weather on the planet called earth. It has nothing to do with political boundaries. Fok those 28 iq people who think they have extreme weather in their state.

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Went to Autozone over the weekend.  Everytime I said something or asked a question he responded with "copy that."  Must have been around a dozen godamn times. I could feel my eyelid start twitching toward the end.

Motherfucker we aren't NASA pilots, we're just two dudes talking car parts.  Stop that shit.

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On 2/27/2021 at 9:10 PM, markstanco said:

"You know what they say about our state (insert state), wait 15 minutes and the weather will change."

Yea, Texas and California and New York and Wisconsin and Florida sometimes drop 20 degrees in 2 hours and all the sudden it snows. Or it is sunny and starts raining.

Thats called weather on the planet called earth. It has nothing to do with political boundaries. Fok those 28 iq people who think they have extreme weather in their state.

Got an email yesterday from a fishing guide in Arkansas that said it - really, Arkansas.

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If elected president, I will, by executive order, correct the sloppy and often incorrect naming of our nation's rivers.  Every river shall take the name of their largest contributor by volume, tracing all the way back to the source. 

So no more nonsense like the Ohio starting at the confluence of the Allegheny and Monongahela in Pittsburgh (Three Two Rivers Stadium) and ending at Cairo, IL, despite it delivering more water there than the Mississippi.  The Ohio will flow from northern PA, through southwestern NY, and all the way to the Gulf of Mexico.  I take no official position on if the state of Mississippi must rename itself, though I'd encourage it. 

The Tennessee River shall run through Asheville.  A name change was already due, 'French Broad River' is offensive these days.

Our children will be wiser and better for it, and more efficient in not having to waste time wading through Wikipedia searching for aquatic truths.

Edited by clapclapclap
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On 3/3/2021 at 1:33 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

Women at home with nothing to do + internet access = OMFG THEY ARE ALL GONNA GET US IF WE DON'T REPORT THEM

I was hoping for:  woman at home with nothing to do, internet access, a video camera, and a dresser full of hot lingerie scenario...  Instead, post did not deliver, would not read again

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