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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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Fatties in catalogs. I got the old lady's Victoria's Secret swimwear book. Ready to check the scenery, my eyes were accosted by page after page of fatties. I did not even know VS sold shit in size 18. Keep that shit at Lane Bryant or provide a #triggerwarning.

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1 hour ago, Kyle said:

Fatties in catalogs. I got the old lady's Victoria's Secret swimwear book. Ready to check the scenery, my eyes were accosted by page after page of fatties. I did not even know VS sold shit in size 18. Keep that shit at Lane Bryant or provide a #triggerwarning.

Boy, wait until you see the SI Swimsuit issue..

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3 hours ago, Kyle said:

Fatties in catalogs. I got the old lady's Victoria's Secret swimwear book. Ready to check the scenery, my eyes were accosted by page after page of fatties. I did not even know VS sold shit in size 18. Keep that shit at Lane Bryant or provide a #triggerwarning.

So are ya' getting a one piece or two piece for the upcoming summer?

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6 hours ago, Kyle said:

Fatties in catalogs. I got the old lady's Victoria's Secret swimwear book. Ready to check the scenery, my eyes were accosted by page after page of fatties. I did not even know VS sold shit in size 18. Keep that shit at Lane Bryant or provide a #triggerwarning.

It was all downhill once Teri Garr stopped modeling her undies for the Sears Catalog ...

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Stepped out to run an errand tonight and some f'n cocksucker had bashed in the driver side front quarter panel of my car. Probably not drivable, not gonna fuck with it. So after 10 years with  no claims on my auto policy, I filed 2 separate claims in 2 days - one for hail damage from the Thursday storm and one for hit and run. I guess that's why you have auto insurance, but I'm sure I'll see  nice bump in premiums. Fucking fuck.

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I hate wasting a clean utensil out of the drawer just for one quick stir of my coffee. Sometimes I'll take a spoon that was used for stirring something else and I'll flip it around and use the clean end and stir with the handle. If there's nothing available I just try to swirl the cup and then tend to get scalding hot coffee on me. I know, it's kinda weird.

Edited by DougO
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2 minutes ago, DougO said:

I hate wasting a clean utensil out of the drawer just for one quick stir of my coffee. Sometimes I'll take a spoon that was used for stirring something else and I'll flip it around and use the clean end and stir with the handle. If there's nothing available I just try to swirl the cup and then tend to get scalding hot coffee on me. I know, it's kinda weird.

Put whatever it is in your coffee first and then pour the coffee into the cup in a fashion that creates a whirlpool effect.  Problem solved.  No utensils  

 

 

Or drink your coffee like a damn man and don't put shit in it.  

Edited by Trey3216
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3 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Put whatever it is in your coffee first and then pour the coffee into the cup in a fashion that creates a whirlpool effect.  Problem solved.  No utensils  

I do that with the sweetener, but I don't like to do that with the milk because it makes it weird.

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6 minutes ago, DougO said:

I hate wasting a clean utensil out of the drawer just for one quick stir of my coffee. Sometimes I'll take a spoon that was used for stirring something else and I'll flip it around and use the clean end and stir with the handle. If there's nothing available I just try to swirl the cup and then tend to get scalding hot coffee on me. I know, it's kinda weird.

Swizzlefinger is your best bet.

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2 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

The matches they give you at the cigar store don’t burn long enough to light a cigar with a single match. I just use a lighter. But if you’re giving out matches then give out half as many that are twice the size. 

Strike 2-3 matches at a time. 

But you'll get a more even burn by using a torch anyway. 

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On 2/27/2021 at 9:10 PM, markstanco said:

"You know what they say about our state (insert state), wait 15 minutes and the weather will change."

Yea, Texas and California and New York and Wisconsin and Florida sometimes drop 20 degrees in 2 hours and all the sudden it snows. Or it is sunny and starts raining.

Thats called weather on the planet called earth. It has nothing to do with political boundaries. Fok those 28 iq people who think they have extreme weather in their state.

You know what they say about the weather in Seattle...If you don't like it, just wait 15 minutes. 

And then shoot yourself in the face. 

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fuck you, manufacturers of the gigantic TP rolls that are so big that they have to be wedged into the roller space and get stuck and won’t roll, so you can only get one tiny piece off at a time. 
 

fuck you, whoever actually puts them on the roller that way, for fucks sake put it on the counter or the back of the toilet or whatever until it gets to a size smaller than a bike tire.  
 

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On 3/29/2021 at 10:47 AM, deadshank said:

About 10 miles of this chicanery.   Truckers don’t care. Nary a vehicle within half a mile in front of the trucker in the number 1 lane.  

0193A1DD-30D3-4D99-874E-7CED0412FF75.jpeg

I, uh, know someone, who sometimes will slip in front of that passing truck once he finally moves over, and then brake down to well below the speed limit.  Long enough to send a message and make sure he lost all the time he tried to save by screwing over the 2 dozen faster vehicles that piled up behind his selfish plodding turtle pass.

Edited by clapclapclap
Added benefit of penalizing the truck he was passing, who refused to briefly ease up a couple of mphs so that the other truck could get past and let the big line of cars piling up get through sooner.
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10 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

I, uh, know someone, who sometimes will slip in front of that passing truck once he finally moves over, and then brake down to well below the speed limit.  Long enough to send a message and make sure he lost all the time he tried to save by screwing over the 2 dozen faster vehicles that piled up behind his selfish plodding turtle pass.

Pure fuck around and find out, right there.

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fuck you, manufacturers of the gigantic TP rolls that are so big that they have to be wedged into the roller space and get stuck and won’t roll, so you can only get one tiny piece off at a time. 
 
fuck you, whoever actually puts them on the roller that way, for fucks sake put it on the counter or the back of the toilet or whatever until it gets to a size smaller than a bike tire.  
 
I complained about these fucking quadruple rolls and people on here acted like I had a toilet paper holder from the 18th century
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I go to the Canton Trade Days fairly regularly. I am very specific on what I look for (WW2 militaria) so I can cover a lot of area in a hurry because I can usually skip most booths that I can tell will not have anything by a quick glance. I try to go on a Friday when it is less crowded. However, despite my best efforts of a quick trip it is always slowed down by folks on electric scooters randomly running around and stopping in the middle of the lane to get off and, in a perfectly healthy walk, get off an go look in the booths. Many drive too fast and turn without looking. The worst are the ones that are pulling a wagon. I hate it. I understand that there are some that need them but most do not.

I have been yelled at more than once by pushing someone’s ride out of the way. I just stop and say, “well come move it then”. Usually get a perturbed look in return but I continue to push out of the way in an opposite direction.

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2 hours ago, clapclapclap said:

I, uh, know someone, who sometimes will slip in front of that passing truck once he finally moves over, and then brake down to well below the speed limit.  Long enough to send a message and make sure he lost all the time he tried to save by screwing over the 2 dozen faster vehicles that piled up behind his selfish plodding turtle pass.

That's a good way to get a rusted Peterbilt ramming your ass.

Duel (1971 film) poster.jpg

 

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A couple of Amazon Echo things...

Me: "Alexa, go to... "
Kids yelling over me: "Alexa tell a knock knock joke", "Alexa, how old are you?", "Alexa, drop in on mommy"
 

Me: "Alexa, play music by Steely Dan"
Kids within 5 seconds "Alexa, play Kidz Bop Kidz"
 

Like pretty much everything I own/do. As soon as I start using something, they'll run over and try to take over. FML.

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42 minutes ago, mininghorn88 said:

I go to the Canton Trade Days fairly regularly. I am very specific on what I look for (WW2 militaria) so I can cover a lot of area in a hurry because I can usually skip most booths that I can tell will not have anything by a quick glance. I try to go on a Friday when it is less crowded. However, despite my best efforts of a quick trip it is always slowed down by folks on electric scooters randomly running around and stopping in the middle of the lane to get off and, in a perfectly healthy walk, get off an go look in the booths. Many drive too fast and turn without looking. The worst are the ones that are pulling a wagon. I hate it. I understand that there are some that need them but most do not.

I have been yelled at more than once by pushing someone’s ride out of the way. I just stop and say, “well come move it then”. Usually get a perturbed look in return but I continue to push out of the way in an opposite direction.

Yesterday, and the grocery store, in one aisle I had three different women put their cart in the very center of the aisle while shopping. Three different times I had to say excuse me for them to move the damn cart. 

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2 minutes ago, Okie State said:
1 hour ago, 52-80 said:
the public bathroom hand-drying dispenser thats a cloth roll.  i know its a large roll that gets changed but i just feel like its a tiny loop that gets cycled over and over again.

I have never seen one of these in person. Seems like a terrible idea.

never used one of these? count your blessing.  theyre the devils invention

 

cloth-roll-towel-dispenser.png

 

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5 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

I go to the Canton Trade Days fairly regularly. I am very specific on what I look for (WW2 militaria) so I can cover a lot of area in a hurry because I can usually skip most booths that I can tell will not have anything by a quick glance. I try to go on a Friday when it is less crowded. However, despite my best efforts of a quick trip it is always slowed down by folks on electric scooters randomly running around and stopping in the middle of the lane to get off and, in a perfectly healthy walk, get off an go look in the booths. Many drive too fast and turn without looking. The worst are the ones that are pulling a wagon. I hate it. I understand that there are some that need them but most do not.

I have been yelled at more than once by pushing someone’s ride out of the way. I just stop and say, “well come move it then”. Usually get a perturbed look in return but I continue to push out of the way in an opposite direction.

At some point you need to hop in one of those abandoned scooters and drive away. 

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19 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Yesterday, and the grocery store, in one aisle I had three different women put their cart in the very center of the aisle while shopping. Three different times I had to say excuse me for them to move the damn cart. 

Grab the nearest product off the shelf and add one (or many more) to the offending cart. 

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