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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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On 8/4/2019 at 9:39 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

Fuck off, all of you. Did you never in your life party late on a Friday night and want to sleep in on Saturday morning? Don't shoot off fireworks past 11 pm. Don't mow your lawn before 9 am. 

Is there an exception to this rule if it looks like 8:30 AM is the only chance to mow the lawn for the week because of rain in the forecast?

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4 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Tampering with mailboxes is a felony offense. 

which is the part I love most about the equation-- the dumbass steals a bunch of mail to I guess get Amazon packages? Ours wasn't the only house hit-- so you committed multiple felonies for....  eighteen bucks worth of artificial tears etc.

I get that thieves can steal credit card solicitations and try to open accounts in your name (good fucking luck with THAT one), but in total, my opinion is that they should grow some onions and rob a bank. 

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Ticks. Ticks make me surly.

We recently bought a place in ETX.  On the adjacent preserve, I have miles and miles of nature trails to run on, through the forest. A runner’s dream. And it is awesome to run through the big rolling pasture that usually has 10-20 whitetail deer on it. 
 

Except that those deer have ticks. And leave them on the grass. That I run through. And the ticks get on my legs and shoes. And then get nice and comfortable all over my legs, crevices, and junk. 
 

Obviously I stopped running through the pasture. But the surprise of finding  a tick on your junk is not a nice one. And nobody’s wife likes combing through the taint looking for ticks. 

Edited by nnm
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On 5/14/2021 at 1:32 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

awesome job, mailbox thief, you really cashed in by stealing a package of eye drops and an advertising circular out of our mailbox a few nights ago

Every now and then it’s nice to live in midwestern BFE. It’s not uncommon up here to still find in our mailbox treats from a neighbor. 

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Fuck the Silly Covid Rules. For example: Walmart has three exits and entrances. They shut down two of them. So instead of everyone equal spaced in 3 different locations, every jams into 1. NICE WORK ASSHOLES


You sound poor. Why else would someone set foot inside of a Walmart?
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Guest Lobo
1 hour ago, luke duke said:

 


You sound poor. Why else would someone set foot inside of a Walmart?

 

We went over this.  Because of their mulch.  It's the right texture and price for the do-it-yourself lawn guy.  It's nice too because they have a separate checkout and you don't have to fraternize with the "inside people."  

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4 hours ago, nnm said:

Ticks. Ticks make me surly.

We recently bought a place in ETX.  On the adjacent preserve, I have miles and miles of nature trails to run on, through the forest. A runner’s dream. And it is awesome to run through the big rolling pasture that usually has 10-20 whitetail deer on it. 
 

Except that those deer have ticks. And leave them on the grass. That I run through. And the ticks get on my legs and shoes. And then get nice and comfortable all over my legs, crevices, and junk. 
 

Obviously I stopped running through the pasture. But the surprise of finding  a tick on your junk is not a nice one. And nobody’s wife likes combing through the taint looking for ticks. 


Obvious is bug spray. 
 

 

An alternative is to take powdered sulphur, put it in an old sock. Keep sock in zip lock bag. 
 

Before venturing out, take sock from bag and use it to pat down your lower legs, socks, etc. 

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2 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

At least not if you ever want to get a bj or have sex again

Pretty much. I have a bar of sulphur soap that I use if I get into chiggers. Just using it to wash my legs I have a faint taste of sulphur for a day or two. Thankfully it’s very rare I need to use it. 

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7 hours ago, closetohumping said:

In n out burger traffic.   It’s definitely not in and out.  Going to wreck some soccer dads shit one day 

They are consistently so fucking slow. Like whataburger level slow at least. Actually a big reason I rarely eat at either unless the WB line is manageable.

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8 hours ago, ztejas said:

They are consistently so fucking slow. Like whataburger level slow at least. Actually a big reason I rarely eat at either unless the WB line is manageable.

Theyre busy as shit man.  Like I thought Whataburger was busy but this is crazy.  Also, this is a hilly ass shopping center and people are stopping traffic in all directions for a burger.  It's good, yes. but come on.

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11 hours ago, elfenix said:

the box of morton kosher salt is labeled "NON-GMO"

thanks, i wasn't sure

The mention of that product, which is rare nowadays...always reminds me of this scene:

 

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When someone is typing out a text/sentence and they are trying to convey that something took a much longer amount of time than normal but emphasize the wrong letter in the word. Such as, “It took wayyyyyyyy longer...” instead of “It took waaaaaaay longer...”.

Reading the first version makes my brain hear the “e” sound and it’s annoying as fuck, similar to hearing a girl say byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

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47 minutes ago, Droopy said:

When someone is typing out a text/sentence and they are trying to convey that something took a much longer amount of time than normal but emphasize the wrong letter in the word. Such as, “It took wayyyyyyyy longer...” instead of “It took waaaaaaay longer...”.

Reading the first version makes my brain hear the “e” sound and it’s annoying as fuck, similar to hearing a girl say byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Long, complex sentences make me surly. 

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14 hours ago, Orale said:

When you turn the top of a new bottle of hand soap and it doesn't pop up.

That’s a good one. Gold Bond changed the tap on their lotion bottle so you just squirt it, you don’t twist it to make it pop up anymore. I’m a moron and it took me a few bottles before I figured that out and I was transferring an old tap to new bottles. (I use it for my dry feet. I get the extra strength and that would probably burn if used for autoerotic purposes. I wouldn’t recommend that.)

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On 5/17/2021 at 11:55 AM, elfenix said:

the box of morton kosher salt is labeled "NON-GMO"

thanks, i wasn't sure

“Gimme a box of salt.  Make it gluten free…

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1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

When you're really excited to try a new restaurant that you just discovered only to learn that it sucks.

Or when it’s been a really long time since you ate at a place that you thought sucked and then decide to give them another try, only to find out that they still suck.

I’m looking at you, Roosters. I forgot just how badly your wings suck. I threw most of them in the trash.

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Ticks. Ticks make me surly.
We recently bought a place in ETX.  On the adjacent preserve, I have miles and miles of nature trails to run on, through the forest. A runner’s dream. And it is awesome to run through the big rolling pasture that usually has 10-20 whitetail deer on it. 
 
Except that those deer have ticks. And leave them on the grass. That I run through. And the ticks get on my legs and shoes. And then get nice and comfortable all over my legs, crevices, and junk. 
 
Obviously I stopped running through the pasture. But the surprise of finding  a tick on your junk is not a nice one. And nobody’s wife likes combing through the taint looking for ticks. 

A guy I work with had to wake his wife up one day at like 5am because something was fucking him up and he couldn’t find it. He had used a mirror between his legs to try to see it and still couldn’t. He had to wake her up and ask her to look between his legs. Turned out he had a tick on his taint.
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2 hours ago, EE2B said:


A guy I work with had to wake his wife up one day at like 5am because something was fucking him up and he couldn’t find it. He had used a mirror between his legs to try to see it and still couldn’t. He had to wake her up and ask her to look between his legs. Turned out he had a tick on his taint. emoji23.png

Yep. That’s exactly what the situation was. That is not considered foreplay, by the way. By me, Mrs. NNM (no pics), or the tick. 

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9 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

When you're really excited to try a new restaurant that you just discovered only to learn that it sucks.

This was me and In n Out when they first opened in AZ. Huge hype, lines around the parking lot, it was all everyone was talking about. Finally got a burger, took a bite, and said "the fuck are people so excited about??"

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