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I've seen Star Wars Episode IX The Rise of Skywalker Reddit Spoilers Proven True or Not


mdmost

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I rewatched the previous 2 movies before this one today.  All 3 are below average, in absolute terms.

 

They were only considered atrocious because of the hype built up by the industries, and all the adults who grew up on the original trilogy, where the movie introduced a wondrous new universe.  The movies themselves were probably not so great to start with.

 

I mean, they're not as bad as Phelgm the poster.

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1 hour ago, Macanudo said:

Actually, I think that was just a flying red stormtrooper.  Which also makes no sense.

 

Did any else expect Billy Dee and Venhs to end up being father/daughter?  Gotta think there's a lot of young Landos and Lando-ettes out there.

It looked to me like Lando wanted to bang her. I guess a good "hello what have we here" probably wouldn't go over so well now. 

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If it's canon that Luke's X-wing is water proof and you would think he would know it at this point......then what's the point of burying the X-wing in the fucking water.  If it's waterproof and just fires right up that act DOES NOTHING and serves no purpose to show that Luke had really given up and was planning on never coming bacl.

C'mon Luke stop being suck a pussy, up the river not across the street dude....

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17 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Just got back from an xmas day showing. I've avoided all of the spoiler threads but still managed to figure out Rey was a Palpatine heir about 10 minutes in. Not that it's a big feat, mind you. Just figured that Abrams would try to mine the biggest surprise in the OT (Vader is Luke's father) and there was no other reason to bring back the Emperor other than to have a supreme villain for Rey's story arc.

So many jokes and winks fell flat early on. The packed theater was pretty silent during the early jokes. One of the biggest laughs was made by my wife & me when the landspeeders were all blown out of the sky & the heroes all survived by landing on a patch of quick sand.

Mrs Ghost liked it just as entertainment. She got teary eyed when she thought Chewy was killed in the first act. She was also thrilled to see him finally get his medal (probably the biggest reaction from the audience). 

Not a fanboi at all & haven't watched any of the D+ stuff, but could still pick up on 3-4 obvious different storylines the producers could take. But not for me. I'm done. 42 years, 9 movies, 2 1/2 of which were good-great. 

 

Yeah the jokes were just bad. And being chased at 100+ mph, only to be shot down just at the right time to land in the quicksand, saving their lives ... and pulling them all underground into caves that led them to the dagger they never otherwise would found in a million lifetimes. That was so lucky. Gosh! And when Chewy gets caught by the stormtroopers, everyone is standing there watching him get taken into the ship. Rae & Kylo fight over the ship & destroy it ... but later it's all fine because somehow Chewy was on a different fucking ship somehow, magically, I guess. And after trying to kill Rae just a minute ago, Kylo just lets Rae walk off & fly away. And why was he trying to kill her anyway if he just wanted her to go with him?  And all of a sudden Leia is a got damn Jedi Master ... among a lot of other stupid shit. I'm not a SW nerd & don't really give too much of a shit about how this movie tied in with the others, but Jesus, just as a movie-goer, this thing was an absolute all-out assault on anything resembling intelligence.

And yeah, out of all of this, the first 2 1/2 were good. Like you, I'm done wasting my money and time on this shit.

Edited by wood
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Kylo wasn't trying to kill her. He was testing her to see if the Emperor was lying about her being his granddaughter. The thing I can't remember fully, given so much was being thrown against the wall, was didn't the Emperor tell Kylo to "kill the girl"? Or was it "get the girl". Because if it was the former, wouldn't killing her negate his entire plan with the Sith ritual?

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4 minutes ago, mdmost said:

Kylo wasn't trying to kill her. He was testing her to see if the Emperor was lying about her being his granddaughter. The thing I can't remember fully, given so much was being thrown against the wall, was didn't the Emperor tell Kylo to "kill the girl"? Or was it "get the girl". Because if it was the former, wouldn't killing her negate his entire plan with the Sith ritual?

Well , he probably thought she would kill Kylo if he tried to kill her.

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13 minutes ago, Continental Op said:
On 12/25/2019 at 7:01 AM, Pimphand said:
Star Wars: Where 8 of our 11 movies rank lower than Paris, Texas on IMDB

Well Paris, Texas is actually a good movie.

Oh agree wholeheartedly. I just think it makes a funny statement to put the "Leave Star Wars alone!" fanboys in their place.

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1 hour ago, wood said:

Yeah the jokes were just bad. And being chased at 100+ mph, only to be shot down just at the right time to land in the quicksand, saving their lives ... and pulling them all underground into caves that led them to the dagger they never otherwise would found in a million lifetimes. That was so lucky. Gosh! And when Chewy gets caught by the stormtroopers, everyone is standing there watching him get taken into the ship. Rae & Kylo fight over the ship & destroy it ... but later it's all fine because somehow Chewy was on a different fucking ship somehow, magically, I guess. And after trying to kill Rae just a minute ago, Kylo just lets Rae walk off & fly away. And why was he trying to kill her anyway if he just wanted her to go with him?  And all of a sudden Leia is a got damn Jedi Master ... among a lot of other stupid shit. I'm not a SW nerd & don't really give too much of a shit about how this movie tied in with the others, but Jesus, just as a movie-goer, this thing was an absolute all-out assault on anything resembling intelligence.

And yeah, out of all of this, the first 2 1/2 were good. Like you, I'm done wasting my money and time on this shit.

well, what's your opinion of when the First Order, who has been indiscriminately destroying entire planets literally at once, finds the scant few remaining rebels infiltrating their super base having killed tons of their fellow baddies, decide to merely hold the rebels captive at gunpoint....over, and over again, only for them to be rescued, like some sort of 70s Bond plot.

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1 hour ago, longhornmatt said:

But seriously -  the Emperor just has a normal son we’ve never heard about who’s a good dude?  All that time ruling the galaxy with a single sith apprentice, he had a wife and kid stashed somewhere in suburbia or some shit?  Did he send the kid to college instead of having him join the family business of ruling the galaxy with black magic?

Hahaha, young Palpi @ their family reunions.  

giphy.gif

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Doug Palpatine looked 30ish. So he would have been born after ROTJ. 

Of course, we don't know where this Palpatine came from, or if he really is the real Palpatine, so looking for answers outside of that is kind of pointless. 

 

Yea but we see Doug Palpatine when Rey is younger so if he was 30ish when she was maybe 4 or 5 then he’s ~25 when she was born. And she was born ~10 or so years after RoTJ so Doug came around before the Rebellion really got going.

 

Poor Doug. Things at work were finally settling down for dad and then the Rebellion had to come fuck it all up and steal his childhood. Teen years are very tough and dad being distracted by a Galactic Civil War probably left Doug with a lot of mixed emotions.

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Saw it a second time.

There’s actually two ships there when Chewie is captured and loaded onto one.

When C3PO is rebooted and relaying where the pathfinder is, his last line is “the dagger will point the way.” Later when they break out chewie, Rey says they need the dagger. Poe asks why and she replies that she feels it. No dumbass. The gay droid straight up told you.

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1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

Saw it a second time.

There’s actually two ships there when Chewie is captured and loaded onto one.

When C3PO is rebooted and relaying where the pathfinder is, his last line is “the dagger will point the way.” Later when they break out chewie, Rey says they need the dagger. Poe asks why and she replies that she feels it. No dumbass. The gay droid straight up told you.

conan25 string dance GIF by Team Coco

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At some point SNL needs to do a Shatner-style bit for SW nerds: get a life. It was just a show. Get out of your basements & find girlfriends.

It was a great ride in '77-82. Enjoy it. That was the show. Go home. Oh, the studios will still take a few billion bucks out of your pockets because they think they can recreate the magic that you enjoyed as a kid & pass it on to your offspring. Oh shit...that's the Disney model. Nevermind!

This shit ain't Shakespeare. 

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I definitely enjoyed this movie. Was about as good as it could have been with the trash movie that came before it. Solid movie, awful trilogy.

I really enjoyed how much the movie shit on TLJ. "You coming Rose? Last chance." "Nope, I'm needed here (off screen)." "A Jedi's weapon deserves more respect." Rey is a nobody. Nope, Rey is a Palpatine and chooses to continue on as a Skywalker (which is what the first movie was pointing towards anyway). 

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 A friend of mine was in a hair metal cover band named "Evil Petting Zoo."  True story.

 

I agree with those who liked it and thought it did a good job of recovering from TLJ.  I found it to be a very entertaining movie, which is all these things were ever supposed to be.,

 

I really REALLY enjoyed how we basically got the whole "in a manner of speaking" redux with the Rey is nobody thing. Shouldn't have been necessary, but there you have it.

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Liked it. As others have said - It tried to wipe out TLJ and essentially felt like a compressed version of ESB and ROTJ. I wish 2 hadn’t been fucked up so much, but this movie did the best job it could to stop the bleeding and redeem character story arcs.

 

Doug Palpatine does make me chuckle tho.

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I definitely enjoyed this movie. Was about as good as it could have been with the trash movie that came before it. Solid movie, awful trilogy.
I really enjoyed how much the movie shit on TLJ. "You coming Rose? Last chance." "Nope, I'm needed here (off screen)." "A Jedi's weapon deserves more respect." Rey is a nobody. Nope, Rey is a Palpatine and chooses to continue on as a Skywalker (which is what the first movie was pointing towards anyway). 
What was the Rose part about?

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8 minutes ago, iodeac said:

What was the Rose part about?

Poe and Finn were leaving the main base to go somewhere near the start of the movie. Finn asked Rose to come along and gave her one last chance. She made a comment about Leia needing her there instead and then she had very little involvement in the rest of the movie.

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Poe and Finn were leaving the main base to go somewhere near the start of the movie. Finn asked Rose to come along and gave her one last chance. She made a comment about Leia needing her there instead and then she had very little involvement in the rest of the movie.

She had to “review old star destroyer plans for a weakness”. Basically the job you give the person you’d fire for being a dumb ass if they weren’t a protected class and it’d cause too much fucking paperwork.

 

Leia: go review plans for a weakness.

 

Rose: we’ve had no problem blowing them up in the past.

 

Leia: shut up and go do it.

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Poe and Finn were leaving the main base to go somewhere near the start of the movie. Finn asked Rose to come along and gave her one last chance. She made a comment about Leia needing her there instead and then she had very little involvement in the rest of the movie.
Thanks. I didn't get how that supposedly crapped on TLJ. I saw the movie yesterday, thought it was just okay, it definitely had some really cheesy parts. The whole Chewy dying thing was LOL bad, since nobody knew about a second ship. After he got brought back from the dead I knew there were no stakes and that nothing would happen to the main characters.

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4 minutes ago, iodeac said:

Thanks. I didn't get how that supposedly crapped on TLJ. I saw the movie yesterday, thought it was just okay, it definitely had some really cheesy parts. The whole Chewy dying thing was LOL bad, since nobody knew about a second ship. After he got brought back from the dead I knew there were no stakes and that nothing would happen to the main characters.
 

To me, it felt like they were completely dismissing the new character introduced in TLJ as being irrelevant.

I agree that Chewy should have actually died (and there were a bunch of other issues with this movie). It was just way better for me than TLJ and about as good as I could have hoped for after TLJ.

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The post in which I will respond to some random website’s list of the 21 worst things in RoS because I don’t have anything better to do and I’ve been day drinking.

https://www.thewrap.com/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-episode-ix-the-21-worst-parts/

1. All technology is miniaturized in time. My cell phone has more processing power than my first four PCs combined. By the next movie there will be hand-held weapons that can blow up a planet.

2. Didn’t they put out the call at the end of TLJ? It was a very Dunkirk moment.

3. Yeah not great but they had to play some big trump cards to salvage TLJ. This was one of them.

4. See #3

5. They did? When was that revealed?

6. I don’t agree with “no reason”. She was old and summoned the last of her strength to do what she did. I was actually pretty impressed with what the film did with Leia considering Fisher’s death.

7. No argument here. The Nerf Knights of Ren.

8. Force healing was established in The Mandalorian. But yeah, pretty thin.

9. Pretty much agree. Maybe a call back to the Luke and Leia kiss in ESB? Regardless it was very awkward and unnecessary.

10. Eh, he just plummeted to his almost-death and clawed his way back so it’s not so implausible that he gave all that he had left. Plus he had to die, he was a homocidal maniac.

11. Not a major nit IMO. The Force has been evolving throughout all the movies and TV shows.

12. I addressed this earlier. There were two ships. No one who was paying attention really thought he was dead.

13. Yup. Weak. It would have been more impactful for him to have lost his memory for real.

14. Well yeah. This trilogy has been desperate for a new Han. What’s wrong with back story?

15. The murder of Hux was another finger to Rian Johnson IMO.

16. Religion is a thing.

17. More F U R J.

18. Rose was a boring character. But woke gonna woke.

19. Egregious fan service, oh noes! But she could have at least explained where she got Luke’s lightsaber.

20. Fuck off, Chewie getting his medal was great.

21. Chop the head off the snake, the body dies.

I can’t believe they didn’t complain about Han Solo (fan service!) or light speed skipping or the fact that almost everyone speaks English or we never saw anyone take a dump and where did they get enough bottled water and toilet paper for that huge fleet.

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1 hour ago, iodeac said:

Thanks. I didn't get how that supposedly crapped on TLJ. I saw the movie yesterday, thought it was just okay, it definitely had some really cheesy parts. The whole Chewy dying thing was LOL bad, since nobody knew about a second ship. After he got brought back from the dead I knew there were no stakes and that nothing would happen to the main characters.

Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk
 

Right.  Just like every single one of the original trilogy. 

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7 minutes ago, Spankytoes said:

Especially when you cast a Vietnamese actress, which is like a whole other country.

XACTLY...Ugly Vietnamese at that

 

Quote

First, Disney’s hamfisted effort to pander to the Asian market certainly didn’t help. The Chinese still appreciate beauty and shun ugliness. They’re also quite image-conscious on the whole.

Disney’s brilliant marketing move?

Prominently feature an Asian character in TLJ who looks bloated and frumpy and who always dresses like she just got off a double shift at the Sears tire center.

But that’s just scratching the surface. Tico’s appearance isn’t the only problem Chinese audiences have with Disney’s Star Wars. As in the pulps of old, romance is an indispensable fixture of Chinese storytelling. As my friend remarked, the Chinese don’t necessarily hate a criminal. They hate a criminal who’s a weird loner. Even the most intense martial artist or hardened gangster has a girlfriend (and sometimes also a mom) to humanize him.

No one in any Mouse Wars installment has anything resembling a traditional relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

 

 

Edited by Surly Bevo
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1 hour ago, Michael Knight said:

Honestly this movie makes me appreciate what the last jedi was trying to do even more,  even tho tlj did it badly at least they tried. Hopefully they reset the star wars universe and we can see cooler shit in the future, the mandolorian is a good start. 

I think it was foolhardy to even undertake it at that point.  You're already 7 episodes in to what everybody has been promised is going to end with 9 total episodes, 8 is a little fucking late to say, "ok we only got a few hours of this trip left but fuck it we are turning this bitch around"  Resetting should have always, always been left to stuff like the Mandalorian, etc.  Out of the spotlight and fan emotions that swirl all around the Skywalker saga.

You can have a 10 inch cock and a nice strong set of kegels and pissing into a 50mph headwind is still a bad idea.  

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3 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

They clearly showed two ships on the ground before the Chewie “death”. At the time I actually said (to myself) “Chewie was on the other ship.”

Twitter is really mad about Rose in Episode IX.

of course it is.  I laughed when Rose was getting the 3 throw away lines, banished to the base and having to share screen/script time with the hobbit. 

The Last Jedi actually could have been decent if the corniness wouldn't have been so SJW forced/ham-handed and of course eliminating Canto Blight.

Edited by dcar00
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9 minutes ago, dcar00 said:

of course it is.  I laughed when Rose was getting the 3 throw away lines, banished to the base and having to share screen/script time with the hobbit. 

The Last Jedi actually could have been decent if the corniness wouldn't have been so SJW forced/ham-handed and of course eliminating Canto Blight.

I never understood the SJW critique of TLJ. To me, the backlash makes it seem like way more people took some sort of weird pride in white males in all the previous Star Wars movies. 
 

Just looking at TLJ: Poe, Fin and rose are all minorities and they royally fuck up. What is SJW about that? Laura Dern and Carrie Fisher were the ones in the right but that seemed more like having faith in the more experienced, patient and wiser voices and not a thing with women. I feel like the reading a lot of ppl have for last Jedi says more about them and their problem within women than the movie.

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4 minutes ago, Pasken said:

I never understood the SJW critique of TLJ. To me, the backlash makes it seem like way more people took some sort of weird pride in white males in all the previous Star Wars movies. 
 

Just looking at TLJ: Poe, Fin and rose are all minorities and they royally fuck up. What is SJW about that? Laura Dern and Carrie Fisher were the ones in the right but that seemed more like having faith in the more experienced, patient and wiser voices and not a thing with women. I feel like the reading a lot of ppl have for last Jedi says more about them and their problem within women than the movie.

right on cue.   Christ,  It has nothing to do with white males. fuck Rey is the new Luke and no one has a problem with her.  its the pointless addition of storylines and characters forced for SJW points.  Make Rose Poe or Finn I don't care but you don't need all 3.  Fisher should have been the one to run the hyperspace attack.  you don't need Dern.  you didn't need Canto Blight Including Del Toro.  Everyone loves Lando.  what color is he?  part of it is some of the new characters in TLJ are IMO, not very good actors and have pretty crappy dialoque.  Poe actor is meh. Finn is good.

TFA was good in comparison to CGI disaster of the prequels(ROTS was good). ROS I thought was good on the level TFA.  TLJ is not good but it isn't AOTC bad. It is on the level of TPM but I give it above TPM because it doesn't have Jar Jar Binks.

 

 

 

 

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24 minutes ago, Pasken said:

I never understood the SJW critique of TLJ. To me, the backlash makes it seem like way more people took some sort of weird pride in white males in all the previous Star Wars movies. 
 

Just looking at TLJ: Poe, Fin and rose are all minorities and they royally fuck up. What is SJW about that? Laura Dern and Carrie Fisher were the ones in the right but that seemed more like having faith in the more experienced, patient and wiser voices and not a thing with women. I feel like the reading a lot of ppl have for last Jedi says more about them and their problem within women than the movie.

oh jesus christ. Stop with that stupid shit. The movie was crap and if you could have the same movie with all white male actors it would still be crap. Stop trying to find some type of agenda based on race every chance and every where you can. for fucks sake. playig crying fucking victims constantly, 

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22 minutes ago, nineliveslost said:

oh jesus christ. Stop with that stupid shit. The movie was crap and if you could have the same movie with all white male actors it would still be crap. Stop trying to find some type of agenda based on race every chance and every where you can. for fucks sake. playig crying fucking victims constantly, 

??? My point was that I didn’t see an agenda.

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