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this is how all legal disputes should be decided...


Kyrie Eleison

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as a lawyer, i'm in...fuck it.

Kansas man requests 'trial by combat' with swords to settle custody battle with ex-wife

HARLAN, Iowa (AP) -

A Kansas man has asked an Iowa judge to let him engage in a sword fight with his ex-wife and her attorney so that he can “rend their souls” from their bodies.

David Ostrom, 40, of Paola, Kansas, said in a Jan. 3 court filing that his former wife, Bridgette Ostrom, 38, of Harlan, Iowa, and her attorney, Matthew Hudson, had “destroyed (him) legally.” The Ostroms have been embroiled in disputes over custody and visitation issues and property tax payments.

The judge had the power to let the parties “resolve our disputes on the field of battle, legally," David Ostrom said, adding in his filing that trial by combat "has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States."

He also asked the judge for 12 weeks' time so he could secure Japanese samurai swords.

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