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DNA kits revealing some secrets.....


Dnaguy

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Buddy of mine found out his aunt had a kid (A boy) at 18 when she “went away for that year” ....

His daughter found my buddy on one of those DNA sites when they matched as relatives. they put the pieces together and the aunt fessed up when presented with the evidence. No one knew outside of the aunt and grandma. He grew up with a foster family that eventually adopted him. Lived a good life so it wasn’t a sad story. 
my buddy and him look IDENTICAL. It’s funny....and I thought I’d was a nuts story.

 

Now cue today. 
 

I get hit up by someone asking me if my last name is ‘guy’. I only show up as ‘DNA g’ on the profiles.

Goes into this whole thing about her dad not being in her life and only knows his name was ‘Spread the DNA guy, senior’

 

I’m floored. Apparently gramps found himself a 24 year old side piece AND now the abrupt move to another state to ‘start his own business’ in his mid 40’s makes a hell of a lot of sense.

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Those kits open up a history that some try to hide.

My half-sister submitted one of those kits and started finding matches from unknown relatives. Long story short, her Grand parents on her dad's side had a daughter in Texas and gave her up for adoption and my sister's dad and aunt's had no clue of this sister and are in denial because they grew up in Colorado. The grand parents have long passed and only a few elders are still alive who could confirm. But this lady looks exactly like my sister's dad. A fucking match.

Can't wait for the outcome on this one.

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The first American on my paternal line was named William [MaybeACoordinator]. Genealogists could find no trace of him in 18th Century England, which is where he probably came from, and the family story -- that he had been an Anglican priest who said one sermon and then announced that he was a Deist, gave up the church, and bailed for America as an indentured servant to a carpenter -- did not check out, either. (Well, the part about indentured servitude did, anyway.)

He just popped up out of nowhere in the Carolinas with an Irish widow as his wife, had a mess of kids, went bankrupt twice, and died. He named his first son William Pemlott [MaybeACoordinator]. Nobody could figure out the source of that weird middle name. Speculation was that it must have been a family name of some kind.

So almost 300 years later I took a DNA test and did not turn up any long-lost relatives with my last name. I did turn up a few by the last name of Pemlott, and several spelling variations thereof, in England, America, Australia, and the freaking Yukon. 

So it appears old William [MaybeACoordinator] came to America under an assumed name and then thumbed his nose at whoever was after him by giving his son his real last name as his middle name.

I told the entire extended [MaybeACoordinator] clan that we were all really Pemlotts at a reunion a few years ago and they just did not want to hear it. As a last name it is kind of shitty.

 

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With the DNA testing and some research on any of the big genealogy sites, you quickly realize that family histories are mostly hear-say, guesses, and well wishes.   Prior to WWII, there were so many family abandonments, second marriages, deaths during childbirth, blended families, raising of non-blood children, etc., and there are no real records to speak of.

On 23andMe, I just had a new 2nd cousin pop up last week who was from the neighboring town and one of her family names is the same as my great-grandfather.  My grandmother said that once when she was little, she heard that her dad had been married before so she asked him. He said yep and that was the end of it.  I would guess this new second cousin comes from the line resulting from that first marriage.

 

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Ive read a few articles in the last 2 years or so about this phenomenon.  another "sadder" issue is the situation where its "Not the parent expected"  There are several websites and facebook groups out there for this issue.   They have their own abbreviation with NPE

a huge percentage of the time its a complete shock to the kids that dad isnt dad, sometimes its a shock for dad (if still alive), and there are a shitload of times where mom flat out refuses to come clean and mention the time she obviously had relations with another male (either wanted or forced).

There are other times where both mom and dad are dead so the kid is hitting up grandparents who flat out deny that their son/daughter had any side kids.   despite the DNA coming up as full first cousin match to known first cousins in the family. 

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Just now, crash_davis said:

Nothing good can come from a dna test.  The best outcome is to validate the status quo. Hey, everything is as is in your life. However, there are so many worse outcomes...

Yep. I don't get the entertainment appeal. I especially don't understand when grandma hands out kits to the entire family. I think it's just as likely she doesn't trust her daughter(s)-in-law as having a fun family task.

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As I've recounted in other threads, my half-sister discovered an extra half-brother on 23andme. My dad never knew he knocked up a girl at the end of his freshman year of college. He can't figure out who the mom was, but since he was playing clubs all over Texas and into Oklahoma and Louisiana at the time, he might not have even known her name.

Personally, I'm more troubled by the lack of matches with people who share my surname. The name isn't common, but I've always heard that 90% of the [Apep] family is descended from one dude, so I was expecting tons of distant cousins. I looked at my family tree and saw that more daughters survived to bear progeny than sons in the last 140 years or so, but surely I'd pick up some distant cousins?

I'm also troubled that Ancestry.com now shows I have 1% indigenous Cuban DNA. Can't find anyone else on any side of the family that has that.

I'm also scared to give my son a kit. Even though I have no reason to suspect he isn't my son, it would be so devastating to find that out. I'm also scared that my ex and my wife could be related, since they both have Okie ancestry. It would piss off my wife.

 

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If anyone ever gave me one of those kits for a gift I would go to some random truck stop and pick up (with industrial strength rubber gloves) a pubic hair off of a toilet seat and send it in.  Then I would post the results on facebook.

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper
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16 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

If anyone ever gave me one of those kits for a gift I would go to some random truck stop and throw it in a dumpster.

Literally, that's what I did.

Well, it was an HEB dumpster, so I guess not "literally".

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47 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Nothing good can come from a dna test.  The best outcome is to validate the status quo. Hey, everything is as is in your life. However, there are so many worse outcomes...

Quoted for truth.  Same reason I don't do Facebook.  The people I want in my life are in my life.

Finding out I have a kid from some fat chick I banged in Mexico when I was 8 sheets to the wind isn't on my bucket list.

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4 minutes ago, Wiler77 said:

Quoted for truth.  Same reason I don't do Facebook.  The people I want in my life are in my life.

Finding out I have a kid from some fat chick I banged in Mexico when I was 8 sheets to the wind isn't on my bucket list.

The annoying part is if your cousin or sister thinks these tests are fun, and said kid discovers a close connection with them.  Same if you're a serial killer.

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2 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

With the DNA testing and some research on any of the big genealogy sites, you quickly realize that family histories are mostly hear-say, guesses, and well wishes.   Prior to WWII, there were so many family abandonments, second marriages, deaths during childbirth, blended families, raising of non-blood children, etc., and there are no real records to speak of.

On 23andMe, I just had a new 2nd cousin pop up last week who was from the neighboring town and one of her family names is the same as my great-grandfather.  My grandmother said that once when she was little, she heard that her dad had been married before so she asked him. He said yep and that was the end of it.  I would guess this new second cousin comes from the line resulting from that first marriage.

 

This is very true.  My brother bought me one for Xmas last year and I ended up doing it.  My maternal grandfather's parents were both in Belgrade in 1899, but the story gramps had been told was that they were Germans who had moved down the Danube.  That always seemed fishy to me, and lo and behold, I'm like 15% Serbian according to 23 and Me.  I know it's that side, because my brother gave my dad one too.  I clearly matched my Dad's, so it was real easy to figure out what came from Mom.  We saw the same thing with my mom's mom's folks.  They also claimed to be German (and at least one of them was), but my great grandpa had been born in what's currently Poland.  Turned out I was a bit Polish.

Long story short, most of the folks who immigrated to North America (both grandparents and mom were born in Canada) on that side were Eastern European but held themselves out as German for some reason, and it never added up to me, but most of my family just accepted it until I got the results back.

Only surprise on my dad's side was that there was a little British and Italian in the last 150 years, which we thought was fairly well traced to western Germany/Luxembourg.  Italian thing makes sense as we all talk with our hands and can tan well.

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22 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

This is very true.  My brother bought me one for Xmas last year and I ended up doing it.  My maternal grandfather's parents were both in Belgrade in 1899, but the story gramps had been told was that they were Germans who had moved down the Danube.  That always seemed fishy to me, and lo and behold, I'm like 15% Serbian according to 23 and Me.  I know it's that side, because my brother gave my dad one too.  I clearly matched my Dad's, so it was real easy to figure out what came from Mom.  We saw the same thing with my mom's mom's folks.  They also claimed to be German (and at least one of them was), but my great grandpa had been born in what's currently Poland.  Turned out I was a bit Polish.

Long story short, most of the folks who immigrated to North America (both grandparents and mom were born in Canada) on that side were Eastern European but held themselves out as German for some reason, and it never added up to me, but most of my family just accepted it until I got the results back.

Only surprise on my dad's side was that there was a little British and Italian in the last 150 years, which we thought was fairly well traced to western Germany/Luxembourg.  Italian thing makes sense as we all talk with our hands and can tan well.


Germans were considered white and a ‘good’ immigrant while Slavs / Serbs were seen as not white and  ‘undesirable‘... much like Italians.

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8 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:


Germans were considered white and a ‘good’ immigrant while Slavs / Serbs were seen as not white and  ‘undesirable‘... much like Italians.

I wondered about that.  It seemed odd that they all very separately made this case about being German, when it was pretty clear that they weren't from Germany.

The Italian on my dad's side I think comes from a relationship that happened in Europe, so by the time that ancestor came over, they were born and living in Germany, but were half Italian or whatever, and all we really knew was where they left Europe from.  We had no knowledge (pretend or otherwise) of what happened in Europe, other than my great grandpa that lived in Germany until he was teenager.

The best part of the entire thing was finding a sliver of African DNA that clearly came from my mom's side.  Her oldest sister who lives in a small town in Steve King country was apoplectic.  She was sure it had to come from my dad's side because "he has big lips".

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2 hours ago, crash_davis said:

If you regularly read reddit, about once a month you'll read a story how DNA test royally fucked up some family. Stores of infidelity, rape, etc. The worst are the cases of inbreeding where the kid finds out that s/he is a product of incest.

yeah that reddit is a trip to read. 

All time top post: 

 

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Another thing is that there wasn't a Germany, per se, until 1871.  And parts of the then German Empire extended well into what is now Poland.

Go back another century, or two, and the Holy Roman Empire extended well into Italy and modern Czechoslovakia, etc.

Those people mostly called themselves Germans, especially to English-speakers.

Add in a little movement across Central and Eastern Europe, just a couple hundred miles, and you have manufactured Germans, pretty easily.

tl; dr "German" was a bit arbitrary or imprecise prior to the 20th century.

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3 minutes ago, Viper said:

yeah that reddit is a trip to read. 

All time top post: 

 


Ummmm. I pretty sure the stuff I look up on reddit has the step brother and sister boning. Not the half brother and half sister.....

You need to make sure you’re clicking on the right Reddit NSFW categories bro.

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3 hours ago, crash_davis said:

Nothing good can come from a dna test.  The best outcome is to validate the status quo. Hey, everything is as is in your life. However, there are so many worse outcomes...

Patently false. DNA testing is like a dating service for Oklahomans. Many fine if genetically impaired unions got their start there.

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3 hours ago, crash_davis said:

If you regularly read reddit, about once a month you'll read a story how DNA test royally fucked up some family. Stores of infidelity, rape, etc. The worst are the cases of inbreeding where the kid finds out that s/he is a product of incest.

It's cool.  My wife already knows she's Sicilian.  If they didn't inbreed, then there's no earthly reason her feet would be so flat unless she's got a duck in her lineage.

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There's a 300+ page book published in 1917 that traces my father's namesake all the way back to the first "hopkinsnhorns" to come across the Atlantic and settle in Oyster River, NH circa 1666.  Tracing back beyond that is difficult, as our name origin appears to be Norman-French, even though our ancestors were most likely from England or Ireland (despite family lore of Scottish origin).  It's pretty cool to have such a long history in the states pre-dating the Revolution by over 100 years.  If I thought 23andMe or some other service could trace back farther, I'd do it, but after 16ish generations, I'm sure any matches would be essentially genetic noise.

My wife's sister was gifted this by her now FIL.  It was funny to find that she was 2% Ashkenazi Jew.  We joked that he was just making sure she didn't have too much African DNA before marrying his son.

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3 hours ago, Apep said:

For most of us, it doesn't matter whether we buy a kit ourselves. All that needs to happen is a reasonably close, blood relative gets tested. Once that happens, there isn't much point in avoiding them.

This. Your siblings or their kids just need to take the test to discover previously unknown nephews/nieces/cousins that may have resulted from your wilder days.

 

 

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1 hour ago, hornbri said:

Isn't this the test where the same people have done it multiple times under different names and gotten different results?

And things like this happen - https://techcrunch.com/2019/01/18/dna-testing-twin-results-show-why-you-should-take-dna-analysis-with-a-grain-of-salt/

The ethnic heritage part of mine square pretty exactly with what people in my family have documented: two-thirds Irish, English and Scottish, and about 1/3 a mix of French (Cajun ancestor documented), German (way back in the family tree), and Scandinavian, because those pillaging monsters raped and enslaved my Celtic ancestors in Britain.

There was a family legend in the [MaybeACoordinator] side that our very, very English surname was actually a shortened form of an Italian name brought there by some dude who up and moved from Tuscany to Lancashire, one of the shittiest parts of England, for God knows what reason, in about 1500. Note -- this mystery dude was supposedly from Florence, not Sicilian riff-raff, and having a Florentine in the woodpile was considered cool back when that legend was getting passed around as fact. I came around to the idea that this was 100 percent cagata but 23andMe says 1 percent, so who knows.  

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1 hour ago, hornbri said:

Isn't this the test where the same people have done it multiple times under different names and gotten different results?

And things like this happen - https://techcrunch.com/2019/01/18/dna-testing-twin-results-show-why-you-should-take-dna-analysis-with-a-grain-of-salt/

Yeah, and also the one that actually claims ownership of your DNA and any profits from said DNA if it happens to provide any medical or pharmaceutical benefit.

id you’re curious about your history there are plenty of private labs that will do it for about 2-3x the cost, you keep your info but don’t get any of the made up, pretty maps and shit

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1 hour ago, hopkinsnhorns said:

There's a 300+ page book published in 1917 that traces my father's namesake all the way back to the first "hopkinsnhorns" to come across the Atlantic and settle in Oyster River, NH circa 1666.  Tracing back beyond that is difficult, as our name origin appears to be Norman-French, even though our ancestors were most likely from England or Ireland (despite family lore of Scottish origin).  It's pretty cool to have such a long history in the states pre-dating the Revolution by over 100 years.  If I thought 23andMe or some other service could trace back farther, I'd do it, but after 16ish generations, I'm sure any matches would be essentially genetic noise.

My wife's sister was gifted this by her now FIL.  It was funny to find that she was 2% Ashkenazi Jew.  We joked that he was just making sure she didn't have too much African DNA before marrying his son.

I have a copy of the ship manifest when my namesake came over from Denmark in the 1830's, and an image of his confirmation record from Copenhagen. It took quite a bit of time to find all that. And he was one of the later arriving ancestors of mine. I have a few that were married in Jamestown in the early 17th century.

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Stepping off in the DNA testing thing is indeed a slippery slope.  Grown up decision with grown up results, better prepare your mind for the "what if" scenario.    If my oldest son ever does one of these he'll find out I'm not his biological dad.  I've raised him since he was 1 yr old.  He doesn't know any different and everyone has agreed to keep it this way.  My other 3 kids are all me  (or should be).  Hope I never need a kidney or something.

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4 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

This is very true.  My brother bought me one for Xmas last year and I ended up doing it.  My maternal grandfather's parents were both in Belgrade in 1899, but the story gramps had been told was that they were Germans who had moved down the Danube.  That always seemed fishy to me, and lo and behold, I'm like 15% Serbian according to 23 and Me.  I know it's that side, because my brother gave my dad one too.  I clearly matched my Dad's, so it was real easy to figure out what came from Mom.  We saw the same thing with my mom's mom's folks.  They also claimed to be German (and at least one of them was), but my great grandpa had been born in what's currently Poland.  Turned out I was a bit Polish.

Long story short, most of the folks who immigrated to North America (both grandparents and mom were born in Canada) on that side were Eastern European but held themselves out as German for some reason, and it never added up to me, but most of my family just accepted it until I got the results back.

Only surprise on my dad's side was that there was a little British and Italian in the last 150 years, which we thought was fairly well traced to western Germany/Luxembourg.  Italian thing makes sense as we all talk with our hands and can tan well.

Keep end mind that most of that region was ruled by The Austrian Empire (later austro-hungry) during that time and many German Austrian’s settled everywhere from Poland, to Transylvania , Northern Italy and the Balkans and interwed while keeping “German” culture 

it’s a real cool part of history if you ever want to read up on it. 
 

 

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