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I'm tired.


Pancho

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Guest Lobo

Most of us are tired of it, I can only imagine the exhaustion, fear, frustration, anger, and disappointment you must feel day in and day out.  Your silent protests are disrespectful, your loud protests are "thug-like" and riotous, and anything in between is ineffective.  And if this site of highly educated, successful and influential people can't manage to separate out police brutality/Black injustice from politics, then I'm sorry to say---what chance does the rest of the nation possibly have?  Sorry to end on a negative note, but help isn't coming from Washington, but it is hopefully coming. 

Anyway, we hear you.  More of us hear you than maybe you realize.  I hope a literal spiritual rebuild can start in Minneapolis and spread around the nation.  We can't go on like this.  And that we have to say that every few weeks is probably why you're exhausted, and rightfully so.  Stay strong and stay pissed.  

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32 minutes ago, Pancho said:

  I remember asking a White poster on Hornfans if he would ever wish that he could change and let me be White and him Black for a week, and of course his response was "no way."  And pretty much all White people will say that because it's hard yall.  It's difficult. It's frustrating.  It's tiring. 

 

 

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Pancho,

I am no apologist, but to look at the history of the US and not acknowledge the treatment of blacks through its history as nothing less than repugnant is repugnant in itself.  This latest killing is no less of a tragedy than any of what has happened in the past.  I will leave it at that and say, I am sorry for your pain man.  

Edited by BonzoMontreaux
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I’m brown skinned and I can say I have been privileged and have never really worried about oppression. I can’t imagine what it is like for the black community. It’s disgusting. I’m fucking tired for you and all of the black community that continues to have a literal and figurative boot on their necks. Just so fucking over this. 

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Man it sucks. Sorry for you and yours

my kid doesn’t see skin color (he’s 7). 

My daughter has her best friend in school that is black and he’s 9. She told me he’s sad and other kids act shitty to him. 

I wonder when my son will se color. I wonder if my daughter will ever be afraid of a black dude instead of wanting to be friends with him. 

I wonder when that changes, or if it ever changes. 

I see all the kids that are taste makers and trend setters of the 2000’s think being black is the coolest thing and think we are making real progress, and then stuff like this happens and think- are we?

In the aggregate I don’t think there’s any doubt we are making progress, but in ways big and small it’s also abundantly clear every day that we aren’t. 

As a hard core conservative I was happy about the idea of Obama winning the presidency as a symbol of all that changed but instead of moving race relations forward I think it set them back, tragically (none of which am I blaming on Obama). 

Sorry man. Prayers for you and yours. 

Edited by Wulaw Horn
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I sometimes wonder what the fuck happened, at least in pop culture, to change attitudes so much from the time I was growing up to the time my kids are growing up (80s/90s to now). I feel like if you were racist in pop culture in that time frame you were a villain. Now if you’re racist in pop culture you’re just misunderstood or an antihero more often than not. What the fuck? I mean seriously. Is it the internet just exposes more ideas so there’s not as monolithic a popular culture as before?

anyway; that shit filters down, or bubbles up, to things like eroding the voting rights act, being irate at Kap, and making excuses for straight up murder by police, etc.

i don’t have a solution, but I see the problem. And it’s a deadly one. 

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4 minutes ago, hornian said:

I sometimes wonder what the fuck happened, at least in pop culture, to change attitudes so much from the time I was growing up to the time my kids are growing up (80s/90s to now). I feel like if you were racist in pop culture in that time frame you were a villain. Now if you’re racist in pop culture you’re just misunderstood or an antihero more often than not. What the fuck? I mean seriously. Is it the internet just exposes more ideas so there’s not as monolithic a popular culture as before?

anyway; that shit filters down, or bubbles up, to things like eroding the voting rights act, being irate at Kap, and making excuses for straight up murder by police, etc.

i don’t have a solution, but I see the problem. And it’s a deadly one. 

When I was a kid growing up on the 80’s we al wanted to be like Mike with his air Jordan’s, watched Bill Cosby and a different world and Michael Jackson was the biggest star around. 

I guess maybe I just lived in a bubble. I thought black people were cool. My mom voted for Jesse Jackson in 84 primaries when he was still pro life (maybe 88). 

That wasn’t my wife’s experience with race growing up in Polk county, Texas. I just can’t fathom it. It makes no sense to me. 

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@Pancho

So heartbreaking, raw, honest and brave of you to post. I wish I had better answers. I do think things are changing as more and more people are seeing the same things in much the same way. I hear you. I will never fully appreciate what it is like but I hear you. We can all do better and we all should vow to do more. Well posted. So sorry. 

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I have no words man.  I’m typing this with tears in my eyes from reading your post and just thinking about how it must feel knowing that some piece of shit might arbitrarily end your life because of your skin color intersecting with his shitty day. I can’t say it’s going to get better but I will do what I can to try and help make it better. Please take care of yourself

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At first I was like ... all this after we had our first black president?  Then I thought....yea of course...all this after we had our first black president. Sorry Pancho and everyone else who can has to deal with this idiocy. 

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8 minutes ago, UTGrad98 said:

At first I was like ... all this after we had our first black president?  Then I thought....yea of course...all this after we had our first black president. Sorry Pancho and everyone else who can has to deal with this idiocy. 

It makes total sense. My mom's side of the family lost its entire fucking mind when a black person got elected president.

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I could say a lot of things, they don’t seem to express it well. And for that matter what the hell does it mean for another privileged white person to say shit. It’s so god damned fucked up. The fact that we live in a country where rights, liberty, freedom, opportunity and safety, god damned physical safety is dependent on the color of your skin and there are white people who think it’s not true? I want them all to die. I want them gone. Every last one of them. Even those I know. I’m sick of this for you.

I’m so sorry, so fucking sorry. I’m listening. I hear you.

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10 hours ago, Pancho said:

I'm tired. 

I'm tired of the killings of unarmed Black people.  

I'm tired of Black people getting the cops called on them for doing normal shit like bird watching.

I'm tired of wondering if I, a Black man who owns a home, need to call the police will they automatically shoot me on site because of my skin and not realize I own the damn house?

I'm tired of certain people getting mad at football players kneeling for police injustice yet those same people are mad at Black people rebelling because they've had enough. 

I'm just...tired.  There are many awesome parts about America and being and American, and I'm proud of that.  But if you aren't Black, I can't tell you how difficult it is to be a Black American.  I know what my grandmothers (may they rest in peach) went through during the 50s and 60s.  I wonder if what is happening now is similar or if that's too harsh of a comparison.  I remember asking a White poster on Hornfans if he would ever wish that he could change and let me be White and him Black for a week, and of course his response was "no way."  And pretty much all White people will say that because it's hard yall.  It's difficult. It's frustrating.  It's tiring. 

I've stayed out of the recent threads with the recent killings of Black people by police, the Bird lady, and others because there's just nothing really I can say.  This recent killing feels different, especially because I'm seeing all of the tweets by White athletes (just saw one by Joe Burrow and Carson Wentz) along with White celebs that I feel would haven't been posted during a killing like this a few years ago.  At least I don't remember it.  

I'm just rambling now, and I'm fully aware that posters like Brother Horn probably do not feel the same way.  After all, everyone has a different Frame  of Reference.  But for a large, large, large, large, large majority of Black Americans, I think I can speak for us/them when I said--we're tired. 

 

 

"Why young man you sound angry..."

 

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It makes total sense. My mom's side of the family lost its entire fucking mind when a black person got elected president.

I confess that I was naive. I truly didn’t realize that electing a black man president was going to make so many people absolutely lose their shit. Seriously, I had no idea we were still like that....god I was stupid.
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Ditto^^^^^




Just trying some humor in one of the most somber threads in surly's history
(Edit changed darkest to somber)

I'm in the burn it all down camp and I dont see how it went on for so long but I'm also a "lib" raised by a conservative family
(Knew my mom was racist when I was like 10)

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34 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


I confess that I was naive. I truly didn’t realize that electing a black man president was going to make so many people absolutely lose their shit. Seriously, I had no idea we were still like that....god I was stupid.

Me too. 

I thought Obama was an incredibly shitty president, but I never had any thought that it had any lack of legitimacy because of his race or anything like he wasn’t an American or didn’t have the right to be president, or that it moved our country backwards, or was something we needed to clap back against, or that he had any personal failings that aren’t pretty much standard fare for politicians or any of the like. 

I just don’t understand how people can hate because of something like skin color that you can’t control. Literally, god made him black just like he gave me blue eyes. Why in the fuck would I think me having blue eyes made me special or better than someone with black skin. It’s completely fucking mystifying in a way I will never understand. 

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It doesn’t matter what we say. It matters that we listen. And then it matters that we work to affect a real change. But sadly I feel we’ll give it a few weeks and fall back into our routines. I hope this will be what leads to the change because this country needs it and its long suffering minority citizens need it.

Edited by mdmost
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CSB contribution: Middle school (mid 2000s mind you), we were playing a basketball game against a team that had one black kid. He got tangled up with one of my teammates and they both fell to the ground. My friend said something like “get the fuck off me, changito” (little monkey). I was right there. I don’t think the other kid understood what it meant. I didn’t say anything or call out my friend on it, ever. I still feel bad about that. 
 

I think a lot of times non-black people hear people say racist slurs or ideas, and they don’t say or do anything about it. Can’t have this racist person think you’re not “cool”, can’t seem like a sensitive person or whatever other BS excuse you can think of. Many people still feel perfectly ok expressing racist views when that “group” isn’t around, and that really needs to change if race relations can ever really improve more. 

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18 hours ago, Dr. Beeper said:

 There is hatred in the hearts of so many people like me (southern white Repub). It really disgusts me, and I used to think half of Bernard threads were bullshit. 

It's not JUST southern republicans.  Minneapolis is neither.  That chick in Central park was neither.  Ferguson, MO is neither.  There is hate in the heart of people all over this country regardless of political affiliation and location.  Hell, all over this world.

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The vast ways we can now consume media certainly bring greater exposure to this repugnant ugliness but sadly it also allows you to have a field day with your confirmation bias.  I’m incredibly sorry for you and yours, Pancho, it truly breaks my heart.  
 

 I’ll never forget my first trip to India for work when I realized all the janitorial staff looked the same, and gave me a look like I was about to slap them when I gave them a smile in thanks...they all looked similar (dark, square features) because their caste had forced them to  marry only within their chosen lot in life for eons.  That institutionalized racism sickened me and it’s no better here in a lot of ways.   
 

We’re better than this as a species, and it’s damn sure that cops need to be better than this.  

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Pancho, I hear you.  You are not alone in wanting change.  You are not alone.

We may not always agree on the path to get there, in fact we seldom do; but I do believe we want the same thing- that EVERY citizen of this country enjoys the same rights & freedoms while having said liberty protected under the law.  The opportunity to pursue life, liberty, and happiness should be there for EVERY citizen until they choose to break that social contract, not just because someone views them as different or worse, inferior.

We've got to change as a society and pull in the same direction.  IDK if that is possible.  Hell, we have educated, able people on here who fight/ argue constantly over why their agenda should prevail and we actually have a modicum of respect for each other. The law doesn't say we have to all like each other though.  That same law should stand for everyone though.  It has to.

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I’m sorry man. All I can say is that I’m sorry, I try to live a good life, be good to my fellow man. I’m perpetually saddened by the craven greed, cruelty, and selfishness and hate that seems to permeate this country, and I say that fully knowing I’m at the top of the totem pole and don’t have to deal with the endless soul crushing shit you do, and the systemic roadblocks in place for you and your kin. 

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What this guy says at the very heart of his message is to strategize, plan, organize and mobilize. To try to vote out the bad people and have a plan. I don't know but it gives me hope that it doesn't always have to be where white people only say sorry but can be a big part of the change. I saw in Louisville that a bunch of white women stood linked together between the police and black protestors as a way to help. And a tiny white lady in boots got after a bike cop for shoving a black lady. It will take us all planning and voting together to get rid of the system of inequality that plagues us. It plagues us because we never had a reckoning over slavery as a country. I'm not a psychologist but I do know that if something has tramatized you that you have to deal with it, not bury it. And that is what we do and I think it is now hitting us with a vengeance. But this guy Mike, he makes me hope because what he is saying is true but more importantly doable. 

https://youtu.be/7lf_2JyXocY

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I don't know how Pancho feel as Black man in America.  But I am horrified at where we are as a nation and bothered immensely.  The level of bullshit and vitriol is multiplied by instant news and social media.  That does make it easier to see who's an idiot but when the person sitting in the Oval Office is the head cheerleader for those idiots...

I just dont know how we fix this because there are more idiots than we want admit.

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2 hours ago, troph said:

Funny. I thought Obama was one of our finest. He’s the only president I truly loved. No scandals, tried to change the course of the American experiment with health care, risked everything for it and then was stonewalled for 6 years. He was inclusive, the first president in our lifetimes to really embrace the plurality of our society and culture and everyone who had been forced into the shadows was told it was safe to come out. And now those who didn’t want blacks, browns, gays, trannies, women, immigrants, Jews, Muslims and others like these to lay hold of the American dream have been on a tirade for 4 years. That’s not to say these issues didn’t already exist. Anyway, I have no real interest in being political here but spending the time on this thread to make it clear you think the first black president was shitty - excuse me, incredibly shitty - especially when he is widely loved and adored by the minority and non-white of our society - wasn’t really necessary.

Cool. We can disagree. No skin off my nose. My point wasn’t whether or not I agreed with him or not it was being completely perplexed as to anyone giving a shit about his race having anything to do with his legitimacy as president or the lens through which we viewed his success or failure. You know, basically what I responded back to brisket with. 

We wont be truly free unless and until we can treat everyone the same. That also means not having to pull punches or pretend we agree with someone because they are from another group- that’s treating them like a lesser person too- as someone that can’t handle disagreement or that you need to walk around on egg shells around  

I don’t understand why we can’t treat everyone like normal people regardless of color. I try to do that on a message board- it’s pretty easy bc you can’t see color and don’t know it unless someone talks about it. In real life I’d literally probably never disagree with a black person. And I always play devils advocate/take a contrarian viewpoint- even if it’s just to stimulate discussion. Or, I almost never don’t smile and wave at a little black kid. I probably only do that 1 out of 3 times at little white kids. Why is that?  I don’t know. But it means I see color, think about it, and act differently on a conscious level, which means I probably do it on a subconscious level as well. Whereas my son thinks his black friend looks exactly like his white cousin. He treats everyone the same- I wish I could. 

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On 5/29/2020 at 12:05 PM, USMCHorn said:

Same brother, same. Hell, I even fought on foreign land for this country....this is probably what it was like for black vets who came back from Vietnam. 

Vietnam? Try being a Montford Point Marine in WW2. You just saved the world from the plague of Nazi Germany and you come home to get a job only to hear "we don't hire black people".

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Powerful stuff, Pancho.  I can't possibly feel it, but I see it.

I am aware that I am the beneficiary of all kinds of privilege, but to be honest, I'm not entirely sure the breadth and depth of that privilege.  I can't know what I don't know.

What is the path forward in terms of what the white majority can do?  I mean, I vote, and I try to vote for those I believe to be "good people", but who knows what's in someone's heart?  I certainly see all kinds of behavior in those I help elect that makes me wonder exactly whose best interests they are acting in.

Do white people need to listen more?  Do we need to speak up more or speak up less, if in fact we are ignorant?  What would actually help?  Is there a concensus in that regard?

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1 hour ago, mdmost said:

I sometimes feel when I hear other white people say "I don't see color" that they also are meaning they ignore what people of other colors are going through. That we're all equal in their eyes so we should have a shared experience by now. We are heavily myopic creatures. We view the world through mostly are own world view. We don't fully understand and empathize what it's like to be a black man or woman in America because we will never have to live a day in their skin. We rarely have to worry about something happening when a cop flashes his lights at us. We rarely have to worry about walking in our neighborhoods or other neighborhoods without someone looking at us with suspicion and if a police officer will be along shortly to "check us out" at the urging of a white resident. We don't have to worry about walking down the street and having others move to the other side or a woman to clutch her purse in our presence. We don't have to worry about being in a park and having a woman try to weaponise the police against us for a minor dispute. So until we realize it is fundamentally different to be a black person in America, nothing will change. Yeah, we can have our kids grow up to be color blind. But we can also stop ignoring the systemic racism inherent in not only our economy, housing, job opportunities, and systems of government. We can stop ignoring the inherent racism in ourselves. We need more empathy in this world. Then we need to use that empathy to make this world fair for everyone. 

This is a really good point. It’s not how I meant it when I said my son didn’t see color and I wish I could be like him, because I clearly do see color- but yeah- that statement is used by many to absolve themselves of using their brain while claiming- I’m not a racist and this isn’t my fault.  Which is true as far as it goes but also carries a smugness and obliviousness that sucks  

And you are correct- we do have a lack of ability to see the world through other people’s eyes.  I went through a management training program with Gallup- they recognized my top individual trait to as individualization- basically the ability to see the world through someone else’s eyes. I’m pretty good at it. Or at least, it’s something I think about all the time- I can’t crawl inside someone else’s head and know exactly what they are thinking- but it’s something I try to do all the time. 

Every time I imagine myself inside of a black dudes head I don’t like what I see. It sucks (all the stuff you were talking about). And I don’t know what to do about it. And that sucks- because if I see a problem I like to do something about it. 

I wish I could have my sons color blindness because it shows a good and pure heart. He won’t have it forever and that’s a shame, but when he loses it it won’t be because of anything he saw or heard from my wife or I, but the world sucks and will do what it will do, regardless. Then, he will have his choice as to how he reacts to that different-ness. It’s everyones choice. 

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Donate to charities.  Support criminal justice reform.   Be kind to others.  Help mentor black children, as a ridiculous amount of them don’t have a father in their lives (we whites are doing our best to catch up).  
 

If you haven’t done Big Brothers or Big Sisters, do it.  
 

The lack of fathers in black and white communities is destroying this country.  
 

There is a reason Jewish and Asians are so successful in this country.  They value family, hard work and education.  
 

 

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I’m brown.  I grew up in a small town of about 80k in southeast Texas.  It was very clear to me I was viewed differently.  I have had so many random screenings at airports I’ve lost count.  I caught some of my own former friends saying the most vile racist shit when they didn’t know I could hear them.  My parents are immigrants.  I’ve seen how they are viewed as inferior my whole life.  
 

With all of that said, it doesn’t come anything close to what black people go through in this country.  I met up with an old friend for coffee yesterday and for the first time I spoke my mind and told a friend they need to open their eyes.  When privileged people make insensitive comments, I can’t stay quiet anymore.  I legit got up and left the coffee shop yesterday.  I’m too old to put up with vocal racism now.  I don’t care to associate with people with these views regardless of how long I’ve known them or grown up with them.  I myself have been guilty in my past of being fearful of black men in certain settings.  I’m ashamed that I felt that way and it’s something I never do anymore.  It’s an uncomfortable subject but one that needs to happen.  I spent 3 years working with poor black communities in Dallas after grad school and I got a very small glimpse into the lives of neglected kids and families.  It opened my eyes to the under funded schools, limited resources given to these communities, and minimal economic support to uplift these communities.  I really hope to see progress and change for the black communities.  I feel the same way for Hispanic communities and other minority groups here in the states.

Unfortunately we have a leader that enables and promotes this mindset.  I’ve always felt the racism growing up from a certain group of Americans but the last four years, our president has made it okay to openly discriminate without consequences.  I really hope the vast majority of Americans who don’t stand up for this bullshit show up to vote this election.  And for the people that have friends who hold these prejudice and racist views, do your part to let them know that this is not fucking okay.  

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