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Presidential Alert


Tex Long

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For the third time in the last five days, I was awakened at 0600 by another fucking Amber Alert blasting at top volume from my bedside table. This one was as bad as the others: name, brief description, age, location... nothing that would give you the remotest possibility of actually identifying the child... I mean, there must be at least  a half dozen 9 month-old, black, females between here and uhhh let's see, oh, right, Port Arthur, which is only about 700 miles away. The other two were Mesquite and I forgot the third one, but about the same distance as Mesquite... 500 miles.

So, I have turned this "feature" off, but it seems like it gets turned back on every other phone update, sorta like Win 10 fucking up settings on the reg. 

This time, turning Amber off yet again (in the Message settings) I noticed an Emergency Message setting I hadn't noticed before: Presidential alerts. Interestingly, Presidential alerts, unlike all the others listed, has no on/off slider, but instead has a message for you: "Presidential alerts are mandatory and cannot be turned off".

WTF?

 

 

Miz Long says the third one was Irving... prolly right.

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8 minutes ago, Homercles said:

My guess is the first one will say ‘LAW AND ORDER!!’

ANTIFA IS COMING

But for real:

Quote

Despite the name, the alert is not coming directly from the president's desk or smartphone. Rather, in the case of a nationwide emergency, FEMA officials organize with other agencies and the White House before pushing out a message.

 

Edited by Js1
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Guest Lobo

I thought there was already a platform for stupid shit in the middle of the night sent from old men with inappropriate kidnapping relationships with their daughters....

TWITTER?

no CR because the cellular/mobile platform is literally a Presidential Alert?  But everytime JK beds down his wife, one of these goes off.  Weird, huh?  

 

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9 minutes ago, TriStone said:

Why would you want to turn them off?  They're the very best alerts, the best quality.  No other alerts can touch them for luxury.

Several alert experts have been amazed at how good they are. If I could tell you what they've said you'd be in disbelief.

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12 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Seriously, has anyone done research on the effectiveness ofthese alerts?

Have any kidnap victims been rescued because an alerted citizen actually spotted them being transported somewhere in the 15 year old vehicle? 

I turned off the alerts years ago but I guarantee I didn't remember getting an alert or any details more than 10 minutes later.

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Guest Lobo
49 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

My phone is so old the alerts come across as semaphore messages. 

Well aren't you tech-savvy.  I have a carrier pigeon slam up against my bedroom window once every two days to tweet, "Twu-ble, Lobo, Twu-ble!"  

The weird thing is I have a shot of vodka and some trail mix and we're already on our way to save the day.  

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My wife turned hers off long ago and I kept mine on thinking that it's an important public service. But getting one at 6am for something that is happening 300 miles away just doesn't make sense and I finally turned it off. If they can find a way to fine-tune these things to only send them out to phones within a certain radius for immediate threats that would be better. I can accept being woken up at 6am if this is happening within 30 miles of me. It's also very fucking annoying that I can't turn the volume down on the alerts. Basically my only option is to turn them off entirely and never see them, or get fucking jarred awake at full blast at 6am. Why can't we just pick a different tone/alert? Fucking dumb. 

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Besides the absurdity of the 300-500-700 mile distance, you gotta wonder about the effectiveness, too - as several have noted. Never seen an "OK Eight-month-old Toobie Garbanzeaux was found in Breaux Bridge, stand down". I swear Epstein and Podesta were part of the international ring responsible for 200,000 missing children per year, as seen on milk cartons in HEB (when it's open), so only having three amber alerts a week must mean that's all done - well, that and the fact that the milk cartons don't seem to have a whole lot of missing kids any more.

But, yeah, I've not seen any reference to child recoveries due to amber alerts.

On the other issue, the unstoppable Presidential alert - the protestors and lootors likely have their phones with them, and I'd bet the cops, troopers, etc. have all the numbers in their local gatherings- it might be useful to see what happens if they hit 'em all with an alert simultaneously - maybe with instructions to lie face-down and join in a national prayer moment...

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4 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Have any kidnap victims been rescued because an alerted citizen actually spotted them being transported somewhere in the 15 year old vehicle? 

I'm getting tired of seeing every month, "Silver Alert: Round Rock. Lic # IB4 BC, 1975 Chrysler Cordoba (rich Corinthian leather)"

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6 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Seriously, has anyone done research on the effectiveness ofthese alerts?

Have any kidnap victims been rescued because an alerted citizen actually spotted them being transported somewhere in the 15 year old vehicle? 

I'm certain some have been rescued because of the alert. I don't like the alerts,  but I do think if it were someone I know, I'd want it blasted all over that they are missing. They could do a better job of what a person is wearing/look like,  telling me to check the local news isn't going to do, I rarely watch the news, especially local news. 

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72fae201d79eebaaefe3bedc0a843300.jpg

 

So less than 1 in 5 does anything to help recovery. While more than 1 in 10 is erroneous or a hoax.

 

I’m all for sending the info out, and have actively tried to keep relevant info in the front of my brain when traveling Texas corridors, but put me in the group of improve the algorithm, as I’m just desensitized when I get repeated BOLO blast alerts for Brownsville or El Paso or no info. Statistically the first 3 hours are important in abductions, but the statistics also bear out that true harm to a child by a completely random abductee are minuscule.

 

How about LEO start with fathers, relatives, and exes, if they aren’t at their residences then blast out make/model/lic# between 0800-2100?

 

Pretty old info, but more at the site

 

https://www.protection1.com/amber-alerts/

 

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20 hours ago, DaggerHorns said:

I too was awoken by this horrible system that was created to save children’s lives.

Exactly. It's such a waste of a great platform. Tell me something useful like whether there are hot singles in my area.

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On 6/9/2020 at 7:47 PM, Llano Estacado said:

72fae201d79eebaaefe3bedc0a843300.jpg

 

So less than 1 in 5 does anything to help recovery. While more than 1 in 10 is erroneous or a hoax.

 

I’m all for sending the info out, and have actively tried to keep relevant info in the front of my brain when traveling Texas corridors, but put me in the group of improve the algorithm, as I’m just desensitized when I get repeated BOLO blast alerts for Brownsville or El Paso or no info. Statistically the first 3 hours are important in abductions, but the statistics also bear out that true harm to a child by a completely random abductee are minuscule.

 

How about LEO start with fathers, relatives, and exes, if they aren’t at their residences then blast out make/model/lic# between 0800-2100?

 

Pretty old info, but more at the site

 

https://www.protection1.com/amber-alerts/

 

17% direct effectiveness rate is pretty good.  I would have expected it to be much less.

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To make these amber alerts truly Presidential, as the thread title suggests, they should begin with:

”Amber Alert.  A lot of people are saying there’s a missing child in your area.  She’s missing and it’s nasty.  Many people are saying she’s four feet tall and last seen in a 2003 Mazda.  Not a very tremendous vehicle, but let’s find her.  She’s not here, but one day she will be.  It’ll be like a miracle.  Oh yeah, license plate DFM 0045.”

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1 hour ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

[NO CR]The Presidential alert will be used on the morning of Nov. 3rd:  

Due to COVID-19, we are designating Tues Nov 3rd as the day for Republicans to vote. Democrats are to show up at the polls on Wednesday Nov 4th. 

Just turn off your phone, and don't forget to set alert volume to 0.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, wait...

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