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Halloween bullshit


Prepuce of Doom

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There are over 24,500 registered sex offenders in the state of Georgia. Only some of them have to follow a special set of rules on Halloween.

Those who are on parole or probation must:

Turn off all outside lights

Not decorate their home for the holiday, or pass out candy

Not answer the door, unless it's for a law enforcement officer or an emergency responder

 

Kind of how I handle Halloween anyway.

 
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Our subdivision had about 1/3rd house participation. The one across the street above 1/2. Lots of adorable kids going door to door, many without chaperones. Few tween’ish aged kids, and fewer grabbing greedy handfuls from our bowl.  Living in a high trust community and society is nice. Took our goddaughter to her first trick or treat and she had a blast. 

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16 minutes ago, NAVY said:

Fucking sand worms. Ya know what I mean? 

Yup. That thing was motion activated and broadcast movie lines... The wife was not appropriately impressed with my ability to quote along with him listing his credentials. 

If there hadn't been any kids around, I'm sure the owner would have appreciated my highest praise...

"Nice fucking model!" 

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Our neighborhood is a bit rural (2 acre minimum) so the kids here usually go into a nearby subdivision to annoy people.  

Not a single knock at the door, which is the norm here.  And, the way I like it.

Our downtown had a trunk or treat car show with lowriders on Sunday.  It was fucking badass.  I love lowriders.  Fucking homeboys spend a fortune on those cars.  I'm sure I saw some $30,000 paint jobs. 

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tons of kids, just like last year. but i bought more candy this year so i didn't run out! 😊

had two of the blow-up dinosaurs that just crack me up for some reason, they're so funny looking 😄

easily 20+ Spidermen, by far the most common costume.

only one Barbie which honestly shocked me, i would have put money on that being the most popular costume this year!

 

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Blue buckets?

Really quiet in my neighborhood, maybe 10-15 doorbell rings all night. Most of my street went dark, unfortunately, so most people didn't bother coming down and looking.

We gave some people the choice of candy or a sprouting potato and nearly ran out of potatoes.

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Amazing Halloween night in our neighborhood, as usual. Some houses offered adult beverages to parents which was a nice touch. One woman in the hood is a university astronomy professor and had her telescope set so people could see Saturn and Jupiter -- pretty fantastic add-on to the typical Halloween festivities. 

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19 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

We did have one family come up, parents asked "are you handing out full size candy bars?"

"No"

"Oh ok we don't want any then, let's go, kids."

 

 

Utterly flabbergasted. Fuck right off. These people exist in my neighborhood!?!!!!!

Should have rocketed a potato at the backs of their heads. 

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2 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Blue buckets?

Really quiet in my neighborhood, maybe 10-15 doorbell rings all night. Most of my street went dark, unfortunately, so most people didn't bother coming down and looking.

We gave some people the choice of candy or a sprouting potato and nearly ran out of potatoes.

Yes, a sprouting potato would really come in handy for the house down the street that gives out candy corn or dental floss. 

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5 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

We did have one family come up, parents asked "are you handing out full size candy bars?"

"No"

"Oh ok we don't want any then, let's go, kids."

 

 

Utterly flabbergasted. Fuck right off. These people exist in my neighborhood!?!!!!!

I would have been dumbfounded and likely said something highly inappropriate in response.  "I got your full sized right here bitch!"

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17 hours ago, NWBuck said:

Yup. That thing was motion activated and broadcast movie lines... The wife was not appropriately impressed with my ability to quote along with him listing his credentials. 

If there hadn't been any kids around, I'm sure the owner would have appreciated my highest praise...

"Nice fucking model!" 

Honk honk.

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6 hours ago, nnm said:

I did not know that. That’s great to know. Thanks. 

No idea if it's nationwide, but out here, the "blue envelope" is a thing. 

San Diego County is proud to offer the Blue Envelope Program. The program is designed to promote inclusivity and serve as an enhanced communication awareness tool between law enforcement and community members diagnosed with a condition or disability such as Autism Spectrum Disorder, dementia, anxiety or other conditions that might require additional accommodations or awareness during a law enforcement interaction.

The program was designed in collaboration between the San Diego County Sheriff's Department, community organizations, the San Diego County Police Chiefs' and Sheriff's Association and the San Diego County Board of Supervisors.

 

How the Program Works

The Blue Envelope Program works by allowing an individual to readily display the Blue Envelope logo or present a Blue Envelope upon contact with law enforcement or other community service personnel. The Blue Envelope-branded products can contain the individual's identification, contact information or pertinent vehicle operating documents such as the vehicle registration and proof of insurance. 

The Blue Envelope Program does not have a registry component; therefore, the program is voluntary and self-implemented. 

 

Blue Envelope Outreach Material

The following items are available for free at participating locations:

  • Blue Envelope Program Brochure 

  • Blue Envelope

  • Wallet Information Card

  • Lanyards

  • Seatbelt Covers

  • Buttons

  • Ribbons

  • Key Chains

  • Bracelets

  • Stickers

 

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We may have a consumption problem on our hands. 

It appears that Lemonhead (and perhaps Milk Dud) have been assaulted by rodents. I suspect that something may have actually climbed inside of Lemonhead, as his (formerly internal, thanks to my rusty hammer) "eyeball" has been pushed back outwardly. I suppose that this might be a relatively warm place for an animal to hole up, so it will be worth keeping an eye on this, especially once they get moved back to the Putrification Copse. 

 

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29 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

We may have a consumption problem on our hands. 

It appears that Lemonhead (and perhaps Milk Dud) have been assaulted by rodents. I suspect that something may have actually climbed inside of Lemonhead, as his (formerly internal, thanks to my rusty hammer) "eyeball" has been pushed back outwardly. I suppose that this might be a relatively warm place for an animal to hole up, so it will be worth keeping an eye on this, especially once they get moved back to the Putrification Copse. 

 

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After talking it over with Mrs. Doom, we ultimately decided not to burn the house down, despite @Gil Bang's reasonable and (presumably) well-intentioned advice.

We did, however, remove the food sources from our front porch. 

All demon gourds have been moved to the Putrification Copse, though I only expect for Lemonhead and Peanut M&M to survive, so they are protected by the rickety wire "fence," while Skittle and Milk Dud will have to take their chances. 

 

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11 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

After talking it over with Mrs. Doom, we ultimately decided not to burn the house down, despite @Gil Bang's reasonable and (presumably) well-intentioned advice.

We did, however, remove the food sources from our front porch. 

All demon gourds have been moved to the Putrification Copse, though I only expect for Lemonhead and Peanut M&M to survive, so they are protected by the rickety wire "fence," while Skittle and Milk Dud will have to take their chances. 

 

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You are my Fucking Halloween Hero Year Round.

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  • 1 month later...
Posted (edited)

Things haven't been going very well for this year's crop of demon gourds - starting to look like a one-horse race at this point. 

Only three days after the above series of pictures, just about everyone had been gnawed on by varmints, at least to some extent. 

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As you can see, Lemonhead's entire face had been eaten away, but at the time, I started to think of creative ways to use him as a container, either to house/incubate a very small demon gourd next season, or perhaps for the setting of a fucked up diorama of some sort. 

~~~~~

Fast forward to December 2nd, a mere two and a half weeks.

Lemonhead's facehole continued to expand, but my ideas for repurposing him still held some measure of potential. Milk Dud just chilling in the background. 

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And alas, everyone else (including non-demonspawns) kept rotting and/or getting eaten.

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Note how this one on the left appears to be deflating... 

~~~~~

Fast forward to this morning. 

We've had a few inches of snow a couple of times already this season, as well as at least one extremely warm spell, so the dudes haven't been able to establish much consistency to their regimen, and it's beaten a couple of them into absolute mush. 

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There are (or were) six pumpkins in the shot above.

But the real indignity has befallen Lemonhead. 

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I don't know whether his horror show will be able to be repurposed or not. 

Meanwhile, Milk Dud continues on, confident in his genetic superiority over every other member of his pledge class. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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  • 1 month later...
Posted (edited)

Skipped last month's update because there wasn't much to report. 

Not a ton now, either. Milk Dud remains viable, and Lemonhead may yet provide a suitable habitat for a fucked up diorama of some kind. 

It appears that the clown who lives in the storm drain conjured up a baseball to entice children to get too close. 

There are the remains of at least two pumpkins in each of these photos. 

 

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Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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