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The Surly Official 2020 Corching Search Thread of DOOM and DESPAIR


closetohumping

If it ain't Urban, who do you want?  

283 members have voted

  1. 1. Speaking of polls, I had sex with South_Austin's mom

    • Fickell
      84
    • Fleck
      12
    • Franklin
      8
    • Fuente
      5
    • Cristobal
      29
    • Allen
      19
    • Some NFL assistant ....name him
      10
    • Some college assistant.....name him
      3
    • Harbaugh
      11
    • Other....name him
      102


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5 minutes ago, Liquor and Poker said:

Any one else gotten to "fuck this shit" on this yet?  If the trash offered is all there is, cancel the season over and over until something better comes along.  I mean, just fuck it.

Fuck no.  You do real AD stuff, like research candidates and their interest using your *previously compiled list from the past several years*, your industry connections, and one of your most trusted staff.  You keep a lid on it.  You approach the buyout donors with your top 3 and the sell job.  You get approval to pursue said candidates.  You fire the bum and hire from said list.

Edited by ClubWhatever
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3 minutes ago, NoName said:

what are you using here? fucking total offense? what a trash metric to use to show he isn't good.

i want to see DVOA for his teams - but don't have a FO sub...does anyone want to share his DVOA rankings?

He is right at or below average in yards, points, and DVOA.

Want to make any other stupid ass points?

Edited by BradInATX
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Just now, elguapo said:

That's missing a lot of context, like being stuck with the Houston Texans front office when he was HC there.

 

Gary Kubiak, offensive mastermind. Offensive rankings with Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos:

Yards: 27th and 16th

Points: 19th and 22nd

DVOA: 0.3, -2.0

 

Ya'll motherfuckers better not make Gary Kubiak a thing. It's one of the stupidest ideas anyone has ever floated during a Texas head coaching search. He's an aggy and he's shitty. Throw him in the trash.

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Just now, BradInATX said:

Gary Kubiak, offensive mastermind. Offensive rankings with Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos:

Yards: 27th and 16th

Points: 19th and 22nd

DVOA: 0.3, -2.0

 

Ya'll motherfuckers better not make Gary Kubiak a thing. It's one of the stupidest ideas anyone has ever floated during a Texas head coaching search. He's an aggy and he's shitty. Throw him in the trash.

Yeah Gary Kubiak really sucked with the Broncos, I'm sure all the Broncos fans are really pissed about his time there because of their DVOA ranking.

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10 minutes ago, Liquor and Poker said:

Any one else gotten to "fuck this shit" on this yet?  If the trash offered is all there is, cancel the season over and over until something better comes along.  I mean, just fuck it.

Not really. I also object to the idea that everybody who is not a 60 year old National Championship winning coach is trash. People out there can coach football and could do well in this job, we just need to find one.

But also I am a fan of the Washington Football Team so my capacity to endure hopelessness and pure shit is high. So keep that in mind.

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2 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Both.  Do you think Kubiak wouldn't be running the offense here - regardless of who is the OC?

There are only a handful of coaches that have proven they can maintain an elite offense as a head coach after doing it as a coordinator. Sean Payton, .Andy Reid. Not on the list: Gary Kubiak.

 

I swear to god getting rejected by Urban broke some of ya'll's brains. Jesus Christ. Gary Kubiak. GTFO.

Edited by BradInATX
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I might be able to get behind a Kubiak idea if he has strong coordinators who know the college game like Boom. I'm not sure he's exciting enough to find $25M, though.

How awful of an idea is Hugh Freeze? Is it just hookers? Meh. Urban likely helped cover up spousal abuse by one of his assistant coaches. We didn't seem to care about that.

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Article from The Ringer about Kubiak Offense and his return:

Gary Kubiak Helped Shape the Modern NFL. Now, He’s Stepping Back Into It.

Kubiak and Mike Shanahan created the system that Matt LaFleur, Kyle Shanahan, and more coaches use today. And now the Vikings offensive coordinator is returning to show just how far it can go.

By Robert Mays  Aug 12, 2020, 6:00am EDT

 

Gary Kubiak got his first NFL coaching job in 1994, as the quarterbacks coach of the 49ers. He had nearly a decade of experience as the Broncos’ backup quarterback under his belt, but the gig in San Francisco gave him a chance to see the sport in an entirely new way. One of Kubiak’s first assignments was to hunker down in a small meeting room and digest the taped installation sessions the Niners used to teach their offense. He pored over videos of Bill Walsh, Mike Holmgren, and Mike Shanahan explaining each detail of the Niners’ scheme. As he moved from one VHS to the other, Kubiak realized that even though the system was the same, the details changed depending on who was at the front of the room. “I was looking at three brilliant offensive minds, watching them teach the same material three different ways and put their own spin on it,” Kubiak says. “A lot of the time in football, that’s what we do. Everybody has their own way of teaching.”

 

Kubiak eventually got his own turn at the helm—an 11-year run as the head coach of the Texans and Broncos, which included a Super Bowl victory with Denver following the 2015 season. But starting in 2017, Kubiak moved back behind the scenes. He spent two years in a front-office role with Denver, then returned to coaching last season as an offensive consultant for the Vikings. During that stretch, he’s watched as several young head coaches—including Kyle Shanahan, Sean McVay, Matt LaFleur, Kevin Stefanski, and others—have played out Kubiak’s experience in that 49ers meeting room on a larger scale, taking the foundation of a scheme and making it their own. The difference this time is that they’re working with an offense that Kubiak helped create.

As the 58-year-old Vikings offensive coordinator steps back into a play-calling role for the first time since 2016, he’ll be part of a paradigm of offensive football that he’s helped shape for a quarter-century. “You start to realize how long you’ve been doing it, when you see it withstand the test of time,” Kubiak says. “Just watching someone take something you did five years ago and say, ‘Wow, he’s grown it.’ You know the origins of it, where it’s coming from, and now, where it’s going.”

When Kubiak and Mike Shanahan left San Francisco in 1995 to become the offensive coordinator and head coach, respectively, of the Broncos, they took the basic outline of Walsh’s West Coast offense with them. Shanahan paired that philosophy—which included a quick-passing approach and split-back setup—with the innovative outside-zone running game devised by offensive line coach Alex Gibbs. Individually, the component parts were familiar, but together, they formed a radical new system. “You’ve got Alex’s run game, you’ve got Mike’s mind coming from San Francisco, and then we started to put all these keepers and boots in,” Kubiak says. “It all started to tie together, and then it started to grow.”


During the staff’s first season together in 1995, the Broncos finished fourth in the league in offensive DVOA. Two years later, Denver fielded the highest-scoring offense in football (29.5 points per game) en route to a 12-4 finish and the franchise’s first Super Bowl win.

Kubiak and Shanahan spent 11 seasons together in Denver before the former was hired as the head coach of the Texans in 2006. In those 11 seasons, the Broncos finished in the top five by offensive DVOA seven times, and fell out of the top 10 only twice. Kubiak and Shanahan continued to expand on the basic offensive premise they’d established in the mid-’90s. Kubiak recalls watching all of the Colts’ play-action schemes from Peyton Manning’s breakout season in 1999 and trying to fold the applicable concepts into the Broncos’ playbook. “We asked, ‘How do we fit this with some of our schemes—some of our zone passes and some of our QB movement schemes?’ We grew right there. That was a big part, about four or five years deep into it, that became part of what we were doing.”

New wrinkles emerged later, but by the time Kubiak went to Houston, the bones of the system’s modern iteration were in place. LaFleur got his first NFL gig as a quality control assistant with the Texans in 2008, and by that point, Mike Shanahan’s son, Kyle, had taken over as Kubiak’s offensive coordinator. The pair quickly gave LaFleur the football education he didn’t know he needed. “Coming from a job as a Division II offensive coordinator, I realized just how little I knew about football,” LaFleur says. “The attention to detail [Kyle and Gary] give on every play, and how every player is tied into each play—it’s really that mentality, that it takes all 11 to allow an offense to function at its highest level.”

More than a decade after his first year in Houston, LaFleur still uses teaching tape from the Kubiak-era Texans to install his offense in Green Bay. The same has been true for Stefanski during his first offseason as the Browns head coach, and for Kubiak as he returns to full-time duty as a play-caller. “I’ve always loved having a robust library of tape for the players to study,” Stefanski says. “I think players oftentimes get more out of tape watching than they do from the playbook. When you can throw on the tape of what Kub was doing with Andre Johnson ... I think it really lets the scheme sink in. And you can get the finer nuances and coaching points off the tape.”

Stefanski says that designs in the 2020 Browns playbook are exact replicas of plays that the Texans used under Kubiak. But even in cases when some details have changed, the building blocks of the offense have remained the same. “When you’re stopping to teach this time of year, and you’re showing your guys examples, and you look up and say, ‘Shit, that example is from 2011,’” Kubiak says. “You don’t even realize you’re getting that old.”

When asked why he thinks his system has endured after all these years, Kubiak focuses on a single word: deception. By seamlessly tying rushing concepts together with complementary play-action designs, Kubiak and his disciples can deploy a system that seems complicated, but is actually quite simple. “In a lot of ways, you’re not doing a ton of things, but you’re doing it a ton of ways,” Kubiak says. “You’re trying to mask certain things. They may look different on film, but they’re not. They’re simple for you, but they can get repetitive and hard for the defense because you’re doing it so many different ways.”

Nearly 25 years after Kubiak and Mike Shanahan unleashed this offense onto the rest of the NFL, variations of the scheme are still tormenting opposing defensive coordinators. Kyle Shanahan’s 49ers finished seventh in offensive DVOA last season on their way to an appearance in the Super Bowl. LaFleur’s Packers were right behind them at no. 8, and they finished fourth in rushing DVOA. Tennessee, which kept the foundation of the offense LaFleur installed during his lone season as coordinator, ranked sixth as Ryan Tannehill led the NFL in yards per attempt (9.6) and completion percentage over expectation. And the 2019 Vikings, led by the combination of Kubiak and Stefanski, finished 10th in passing DVOA despite injuries to both Adam Thielen and Dalvin Cook. Stefanski parlayed that success into a head-coaching job in Cleveland, where he’s hoping the same scheme that elevated Kirk Cousins can propel Baker Mayfield to a bounce-back season.

Stefanski’s experience in the past two seasons provides a lot of insight into how Kubiak’s basic approach evolves from team to team. Kubiak came to Minnesota last year just as Stefanski was starting his first full season as the Vikings’ offensive coordinator. Stefanski had always known that he wanted to run some version of this system, but he never imagined he’d have the scheme’s architect sitting just down the hall when the opportunity came. “I had always admired that scheme from afar and wondered how they coached certain parts,” Stefanski says. “Then I had the luxury of Gary sitting next to me for an entire season. A season’s worth of questions, rather than two hours at the combine saying, ‘Hey, can I talk keepers with you?’ I had this treasure trove of coaching points right there, ready and willing to share.”

While Kubiak helped illuminate some of the tried and true aspects of the offense, Stefanski added a few brand-new elements. With new screens, red zone concepts, and route combinations, the Vikings were able to put a fresh spin on an established system. “Everybody’s got their own mind, and they say, ‘Hey, this is how I’m going to do it when I get my chance,’” Kubiak says. “So you start to see more creativity from that standpoint.”

Many of Kubiak’s former pupils agree that the most effective twist that’s emerged in recent years has been the use of presnap motion to add another layer of complexity. Kubiak points specifically to the way McVay deploys jet motion to alter the “strength” call for a defense just before the snap, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Shanahan has incorporated more shotgun formations and RPOs tailored to Jimmy Garoppolo’s strengths, and he’s also established an impressive sense of urgency within the offense. “If you really watch San Francisco and the job Kyle does, his teams play so fast,” Kubiak says. “From when they come out of the huddle, double motions, movement. There’s a lot of things going on that they’re just very precise at that you hope gives people problems. Telling a team to play fast is good board talk, but it’s hard to achieve. It’s something you have to convince your players of.”

As the Kubiak–Mike Shanahan coaching tree grows and more teams adopt some version of this scheme, coaches are getting more and more examples of how to innovate. LaFleur says that he’s naturally drawn to watching the Rams and Niners because he understands why McVay and Kyle Shanahan try certain concepts. Determining their motivation helps LaFleur and the Packers staff figure out how the same strategies could potentially work with their personnel. “Those are guys I coached with before, and it’s easier to understand why they’re doing the things they’re doing,” LaFleur says. “You know their thinking and how they want to act.”

Stefanski has gone through a similar process during his first season in Cleveland, where he’s tried to take the foundation of Kubiak’s system and modify it for the specific talent on the Browns’ roster. Stefanski brought in coaches who specialize in several different systems. Offensive coordinator Alex Van Pelt spent six years in Green Bay, including four as Aaron Rodgers’s quarterbacks coach, before serving as the Bengals’ QBs coach for the past two seasons. Browns passing game coordinator Chad O’Shea comes from the Patriots system, which has a reputation for consistently devising smart red zone packages. The goal is the same one that Kubiak and Shanahan had 25 years ago: By bringing together elements of different schemes, Stefanski is hoping the Browns offense presents a unique set of challenges for opposing defenses. “That’s the fun part of getting minds together in a room … ” Stefanski says. “The best idea wins. When you put it all on the table and you have the empirical evidence of tape to back it up, that’s the fun part of putting schemes together. We’re putting in the 2020 Browns’ system. I don’t care what you call it, really. And I know there’s gonna be time spent trying to figure out what we are. But we’re trying to spend time making sure that we’re hyperaware of what our players do well.”

After spending last season with Kubiak in Minnesota, Stefanski says he’s thrilled to watch the longtime coach return to the play-calling ranks. “I’ve already given him suggestions on his first call,” Stefanski jokes. Kubiak expresses a similar sentiment: “Taking a step back for a couple years and being in a little bit of a different role, watching a lot of things, studying, I’m just excited to get back in there and firing away as a play-caller.”

Kubiak’s latest stint as an offensive coordinator comes 25 years after his first. And this time around, his challenge will be reminding people that the scheme he helped create still has plenty of life after all this time. “It kind of makes you proud, that through the years, it withstood the test of time,” Kubiak says. “A lot of people are running it at a tremendous level right now.”

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37 minutes ago, ClubWhatever said:

Rational people are convincing themselves that Jeff Traylor and Gary Kubiak could be acceptable hires.  

I don’t think either is the answer, but I’d put Traylor in the “maybe down the road” category and Kubiak in the “fuck right off” category. 

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7 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

He is right at or below average in yards, points, and DVOA.

Want to make any other stupid ass points?

my point is that using yards and points as a measuring stick for how good or bad someone's offense is is fucking terrible.

it's 2020. we have better ways to measure things now.

also if you have FootballOutsiders access I'd love to see his actual DVOA rankings from say 14 to 17 then 2020 with the Vikes

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2 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

I swear to god getting rejected by Urban broke some of ya'll's brains. Jesus Christ. Gary Kubiak. GTFO.

IT brought up the Kubiak thing. An old NFL guy would never occur to me, I am not sure what the idea behind that is. Maybe as an advisor in his retirement but as a head coach?

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4 minutes ago, NoName said:

my point is that using yards and points as a measuring stick for how good or bad someone's offense is is fucking terrible.

it's 2020. we have better ways to measure things now.

also if you have FootballOutsiders access I'd love to see his actual DVOA rankings from say 14 to 17 then 2020 with the Vikes

"Using the thing that literally defines success in the game of football to measure someone's success is fucking terrible!"

I don't have FootballOutsiders PFR has their own version of DVOA, where he is perfectly and predictably average at 0.32. For comparison, Jason Garrett is a 1.3.

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4 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

Gary Kubiak, offensive mastermind. Offensive rankings with Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos:

Yards: 27th and 16th

Points: 19th and 22nd

DVOA: 0.3, -2.0

 

Ya'll motherfuckers better not make Gary Kubiak a thing. It's one of the stupidest ideas anyone has ever floated during a Texas head coaching search. He's an aggy and he's shitty. Throw him in the trash.

He had a banged-up, 39-year-old Peyton in 2015. Brock Osweiler played in nine games. Then in Year 2, Kubiak had Trevor Siemian as starting QB (Paxton Lynch started a game too).

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Ya'll definitely keep making excuses for a guy who has been terrifically average his entire career. I'm pretty pumped at the prospect of him coming in and running a pro-style offense with a pocket passer. Running an antequated offense that just about every team in the NFL and even college is moving away from is definitely going to help us move on from Tom Herman.

Fuck's sake. If we're going to go after someone shitty, let's go with Mario Cristobal. At least he's not an aggy.

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2 minutes ago, C-Man said:

He had a banged-up, 39-year-old Peyton in 2015. Brock Osweiler played in nine games. Then in Year 2, Kubiak had Trevor Siemian as starting QB (Paxton Lynch started a game too).

In 2011 he finished the season with TJ Yates. In 2013 he dealt with Matt Schaub's arm falling apart and used a TJ Yates/Case Keenum combination.

Also, in Denver, Peyton's arm started failing him. 

I've watched Kubiak's offenses for years, back when I was a Broncos fan up through being a Texans fan. His offense would do very well against college defenses.

Another negative though, is he did seem to play it conservative. Don't know if he's learned from that or not. 

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Just now, BradInATX said:

"Using the thing that literally defines success in the game of football to measure someone's success is fucking terrible!"

I don't have FootballOutsiders PFR has their own version of DVOA, where he is perfectly and predictably average at 0.32. 

how someone can be smart enough to know what DVOA is in the first place, then think that points and yardage are good measuring sticks for how good or bad someone is compared to the league overall is dumb.

there is a reason that taking into consideration down & distance, league averages, quality of opponent, etc make sense. just like it makes sense to use things like per-possession level information in something like oFEI that takes into consideration opponent strengths and kicks out garbage time stats.

just using straight statistics as a measuring stick isn't particularly useful. there is a reason we use things like wRC+ and wOBA to tell how valuable a player really is on offense instead of using RBI and batting averages.

i am assuming you know all of this but shitty total yardage rank and total points rank back up your opinion that Kubiak is someone not worth considering - it let's you be lazy and appear to make your point for the rubes who think that yardage rank and points rank are what is really important.

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1 minute ago, BradInATX said:

Ya'll definitely keep making excuses for a guy who has been terrifically average his entire career. I'm pretty pumped at the prospect of him coming in and running a pro-style offense with a pocket passer. Running an antequated offense that just about every team in the NFL and even college is moving away from is definitely going to help us move on from Tom Herman.

Fuck's sake. If we're going to go after someone shitty, let's go with Mario Cristobal. At least he's not an aggy.

IT just pulled his name of their ass. Kubiak is a NFL coach and has never even expressed interest in coaching in college that I am aware of. He just got a new job in Minnesota. I don't see any reason why we should even be discussing this.

Now if he is getting interviewed by CDC well that is something else, but I see no evidence he is even on the radar.

Personally I am open to a NFL guy but it takes an unusual breed of NFL coach to want to go to College and put up with the nonsense associated with that.

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2 hours ago, Rimbo said:

I'd just like to say fuck football at this point

fuck the Houston boosters for saddling us with Herman without a proper search

fuck the president of the University for extending him over CDC's objections

fuck the boosters IF they won't buy out Herman 

fuck Tom Herman

and Urban, if you won't come here, fuck you too

al pacino GIF

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2 minutes ago, NoName said:

how someone can be smart enough to know what DVOA is in the first place, then think that points and yardage are good measuring sticks for how good or bad someone is compared to the league overall is dumb.

there is a reason that taking into consideration down & distance, league averages, quality of opponent, etc make sense. just like it makes sense to use things like per-possession level information in something like oFEI that takes into consideration opponent strengths and kicks out garbage time stats.

just using straight statistics as a measuring stick isn't particularly useful. there is a reason we use things like wRC+ and wOBA to tell how valuable a player really is on offense instead of using RBI and batting averages.

i am assuming you know all of this but shitty total yardage rank and total points rank back up your opinion that Kubiak is someone not worth considering - it let's you be lazy and appear to make your point for the rubes who think that yardage rank and points rank are what is really important.

 

I'm not going to waste the time and effort on advanced stats to prove that Gary Kubiak is a shitty idea for the same reason I'm not going to start quoting physics books to people who think the Earth is flat.

Edited by BradInATX
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1 hour ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

After losing my mind last night I'm much more optimistic about things this morning.  You could talk me into just about any candidate (Tom Allen can stay the fuck in Indiana) and its going to be an improvement over Herman.  Tom is hated by players, coaches, boosters, Admin, and fans.  He got his dream job and then did everything he could to sabotage himself, the people that work under him, and the players most of all.  We need to cut that cancer out.

And if it means Gary Kubiak, or Jeff Traylor, or Steve Sark end up as the next head coach of the Texas Longhorns I'll be excited about it.  Because Tom Herman is no longer the head coach and embarrassing the university on a daily basis.

there are people in this advocating Sarkisian as a non-joke candidate? is that what I'm reading?

this is the guy that was average as fuck at Washington and then wen to USC and turned himself into a flaming dr. pepper?  you morons want a flame out drunk because he has the fucking no pressure job of being Nick Saban's offensive coordinator?

is everyone completely and utterly out of their fucking minds?

 

let me get this straight, you think he will stay sober in the sunshine and candycanes job of the Texas head coach? jesus fucking christ fuck shit

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Lulz reading the responses in this thread. It was never going to be Urban, a control freak like Urban trying to navigate the cesspool that is Texas football due to the donors making this job "unique." We are our own worst enemies, so until that changes be prepared to not win shit, even though there are a plethora of coaches that could win at a high level here without the outside distractions. I also love how almost everyone is shitting on good football coaches that have won fucking championships as not good enough for Texas. A trained seal would be better than our last 2 coaching staffs.

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15 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Whoops, looks like Gary Kubiak coached a certain OL in 02-03.  This OL also happens to have twin boys headed to Bama

Your story checks out. I didn’t realize he played in Denver. I knew Dan Neil did. 

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