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How much of a cheap bastard are you?


Hellraiser97

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1 hour ago, Mez2 said:

i'm so cheap, i had my fractured fingers x-rayed at my wife's vet clinic and then took a photo of that file and used for my doctors visit because i didnt want to go to pay for an xray. 

i work at a hospital. 

Seems like a vet would know how to set broken fingers. If i get a pet monkey, and it gets drunk and breaks its hand punching a wall, I gotta take it to a people doctor?

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2 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Broke the pinky finger on my right hand in the summer of '80 (was drunk and punched a wall, found the stud unfortunately)

At the exact same time I had starting hanging out in bars. I didn't want to look like a rookie, wanted to pace myself. So after every pitcher, I'd go in the bathroom, and punch the towel dispenser. If it hurt my fist, I figured I was still sober and I'd get another pitcher. If I couldn't feel my hand, I knew I was drunk, and I'd stop drinking.

A few years later I realized, if you punch a towel dispenser, whether you feel it or not, you're drunk.

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1 minute ago, RDCanecutter said:

At the exact same time I had starting hanging out in bars. I didn't want to look like a rookie, wanted to pace myself. So after every pitcher, I'd go in the bathroom, and punch the towel dispenser. If it hurt my fist, I figured I was still sober and I'd get another pitcher. If I couldn't feel my hand, I knew I was drunk, and I'd stop drinking.

A few years later I realized, if you punch a towel dispenser, whether you feel it or not, you're drunk.

giphy.gif

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On 5/2/2018 at 3:04 PM, Johnny Sack said:

This is true.  The better tires should be on the back.

I have handled too many cases where multiple people were killed or paralyzed due to shitty tires. 

For me and my family, we drive on Michelins and make sure they have ample tread depth and are not older than 6 years old (I have seen tire delamination rollover fatalities on tread that looked brand new but the tire was too old).

If you drive on Cooper or Continental tires, T&Ps.   BF Goodrich aren't much better.

i know you have to know way more about this than pretty much anyone here, but i find it pretty hard to believe that 30 years after michelin bought the brand that michelin and goodrichs aren't the same tires.

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My first car was an air-cooled VW Beetle. There was a spell where the brakes didn't work, well, the brakes wouldn't work when I mashed the brake pedal. The car WOULD stop when I yanked the emergency brake. So I'd be rolling around with my stoner friends and then fling them towards the windshield when I'd yank the emergency brake. Somebody talked me into fixing the regular brakes, I dunno what was wrong with them.

Later I had a VW Camper Bus. Bad-ass. Regular brakes worked fine but the emergency brake didn't have a cable. Wasn't a problem in the flatlands. When I moved up to the Smokies, I got a log, like, a two foot long chunk of wood. When I'd park on a slope I'd get out and chock the front tire with that log.

North Carolina Inspection site dude shook his head at the log, so I ended up chocking the tire, then crawling around under the bus learning to fix the emergency brake.

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Once I was wishing I had a guitar that made a certain sound. My lead guitarist knew exactly the guitar I needed, could get it for a smoove $1,000 at ?Mars? whatever that Walmart of Music was. I thought it was a great idea. My Dad heard about it and actually gave me $1000 in cash.
Then I figured out that if I held my hand a slightly different way on the guitar I'd owned since I was 17, it made that $1000 sound. I did that instead.


Booooooo.
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4 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Condoms ain't cheap. Sandwich bags in the economy box is your bargain prophylactic. 

Grocery store bags are free, both the ones at checkout with handles, and the produce bags. Go into a grocery store and just grab extra bags with whatever you're purchasing (or don't - just grab some bags and walk out). Your preference as to which feels better as a condom substitute. The handles are a little kinky.

Or, TSA often has quart ziploc bags at checkpoints for toiletry use - grab a handful of them.

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2 hours ago, LongestHorn said:

Refilled Cholula bottle with Valentina and snotty teen daughter was none the wiser.  

That stunt works really well with vodka too. McCormick's is a perfectly fine Tito's substitute. I mean, if your snotty teen daughter is into vodka, you should try it. Save you a lot of $$$. 

Side note: some kids in my snotty teen daughter's world stole some of their parents' vodka out of the freezer, and then refilled the bottle with water. Which of course lowered the alcohol level to the point where it would freeze. BUSTED. 

 

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On 5/3/2018 at 10:19 PM, jimmyjazz said:

I worked at Wendy's when I was in high school.  There was a couple who would come in every Sunday with the newspaper and eat lunch at the all-you-can-eat salad bar.  They'd refill their iced teas over the course of the afternoon and then pop down another round of salads for an early dinner.

I may be cheap, but that was pathetic.

I live out in the burbs.  Once every two weeks or so, on the weekend, I trek into (H-)town to make a run through Whole Foods, Central Market and a few other places.  There is a guy (an older than me gentleman) that is known on a first name basis with all the employees at both WF & CM.  He is always at both supermarkets on the weekends (maybe daily?).  I see him buying a single banana usually.  He spends hours at both stores walking around and eating all the free samples and chatting with the vendors.  I suspect that he lives close by.  He's probably loaded and living in River Oaks.  He's a real enigma.

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3 hours ago, LongestHorn said:

Refilled Cholula bottle with Valentina and snotty teen daughter was none the wiser.  

Damn, that is harsh.


By the way, I'm pissed at whichever one of you fuckers ratted me out. I went to get Mother's Day greeting card photos yesterday and about 1/3 of the cards were wrapped in plastic. So I can't get a photo of the inside and the photos of the outside were too glarey.
I should have known not to trust a surly bunch of assholes - I mean I only text the best greeting cards, not those cheep ones

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23 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

Damn, that is harsh.


By the way, I'm pissed at whichever one of you fuckers ratted me out. I went to get Mother's Day greeting card photos yesterday and about 1/3 of the cards were wrapped in plastic. So I can't get a photo of the inside and the photos of the outside were too glarey.
I should have known not to trust a surly bunch of assholes - I mean I only text the best greeting cards, not those cheep ones

Here you go.

mothersdaycards12.jpg

 

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I used to pick up stacks of plastic drinking cups after football games to keep at home. Plastic cups are cheap, but I just like those game cups better, and I don't really like drinking out of glasses that much. I tend to break shit.

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I'm a toothpick hoarder, too. If a restaurant has the good kind of toothpicks that are individually wrapped I'll grab a dozen or so on the way out the door to keep in the car. I have a toothpick addiction. I buy Diamond toothpicks for the home, but I keep the wrapped ones in the little pocket in the car door.

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1 hour ago, Wally Fairway said:

Damn, that is harsh.


By the way, I'm pissed at whichever one of you fuckers ratted me out. I went to get Mother's Day greeting card photos yesterday and about 1/3 of the cards were wrapped in plastic. So I can't get a photo of the inside and the photos of the outside were too glarey.
I should have known not to trust a surly bunch of assholes - I mean I only text the best greeting cards, not those cheep ones

Do this instead:

Scoop up 35 cents of coins off the ground. If you go anyplace where there are Millennials Who Can't Touch Money, you can probably pick up 35 bucks of coins, but all you need is 35 cents.

Get hold of a 6 x 4 index card.

Go to the post office, and buy one 35 cent stamp. Then stand at one of the tables where they have cheap pens taped to pieces of string. Using their pen (and their ink), write your mom's name & address on one side and stick the 35 cent stamp there. On the other, scrawl some message of love and a rough stick-figure with a smiling face. You may want to do this while drunk, the more inept, the more it reminds her of when you were a nasty filthy infant leaking from all openings. I am told that mothers love such creatures.

She will lose her damn mind. You will end up getting all the good stuff in the will.

Edited by RDCanecutter
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13 minutes ago, DougO said:

I'm a toothpick hoarder, too. If a restaurant has the good kind of toothpicks that are individually wrapped I'll grab a dozen or so on the way out the door to keep in the car. I have a toothpick addiction. I buy Diamond toothpicks for the home, but I keep the wrapped ones in the little pocket in the car door.

Plastic spoon hoarder here. Keep a couple in the car. Never know when you might be out in the middle of nowhere, and find a jar of peanut butter on the ground.

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On 4/30/2018 at 11:27 AM, Jameslaw121 said:

Best one me and the wife do is look at the circulars for sales on meats. anytime something gets super cheap we buys several pounds of it and freeze it. We eat lots of chicken and fish. It works out that we usually spend less than $4 on our protein part of dinner.

Also, we like Mediterranean food. Couple of places close to us are BYOB. So now rather than going to a nice place and spending $30 on drinks. We go here and bring a 6 pack of decent been. And save the more expensive times for when we want to go to a sports bar to watch a game or something.

Which stores have you found have the best sales and is their usually a best time of week or month they have them? I want to start doing this. I also love eating chicken and fish. 

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plastic fork hoarder here.  got a huge stash of them from chipotle each time they did the "we're sorry about the food poisoning so here's a free burrito" routine.  some things just taste better from a plastic fork.  also, it's the best thing to stir your soft scrambled eggs with while cooking.

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Just now, elfenix said:

plastic fork hoarder here.  got a huge stash of them from chipotle each time they did the "we're sorry about the food poisoning so here's a free burrito" routine.  some things just taste better from a plastic fork.  also, it's the best thing to stir your soft scrambled eggs with while cooking.

I've got a drawer full of Taco Bell hot sauce, and sporks from somewhere. No idea where the sporks came from. But we use 'em.

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3 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

Which stores have you found have the best sales and is their usually a best time of week or month they have them? I want to start doing this. I also love eating chicken and fish. 

Really anytime and any store. Big thing to watch for is around a holiday. Memorial Day and Forth of July are great for Brats and ground beef. Or if you're into smoking, pork shoulder rest. ribs, ect around those holidays. Turkey and Hams around Christmas and Thanksgiving. We have a freezer, so when we see one of the Frozen turkey's for like $.49/lb with purchase of $40 or more, we get four of five of them .

 

As far as fish and chicken, just check the circulars once a week. You can look them up online, I think Wednesday or Thursday is when they come out. Almost every week, one of them will be selling breast, thighs, drumsitcks or chicken wings for $1.49/lb or less. We will usually buy 5-10 lbs depending on what it is. If frozen Salmon (individually wrapped) are on sale, we'll buy out the damn stuff. 

Once you do this for a few months, you'll have weeks where nothing is really on sale but you got a bunch in the freezer so we don't buy any meats that week

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5 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

Plastic spoon hoarder here. Keep a couple in the car. Never know when you might be out in the middle of nowhere, and find a jar of peanut butter on the ground.

I do a lot of that, too. I don't steal them, but I keep them when they put them in the bag. I have several sets of plasticwear in my desk drawer. I don't use them much, but they come in very handy once in a while when I forget to bring a fork or spoon upstairs with some food.

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I hoarded so many plastic utensils, chopsticks, and condiments, that I had to send them with my wife to her school for her fellow teachers. Speaking of that, chopsticks are the worst. It's like the restaurants don't get that the average American eats 12-24 rolls of sushi. I try to put them to use. I'll use 'em to eat cheetos and similar chips while working.

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On 5/7/2018 at 4:08 PM, El Diablo said:

Condoms ain't cheap. Sandwich bags in the economy box is your bargain prophylactic. 

This is a joke, right? 

I loathe spending money on stuff, but rubbers really were not something I was ever going to cheap out on.

if legit, is a rubber band involved?  Or are we lining the, umm.. void? 

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3 hours ago, Incredulity said:

This is a joke, right? 

I loathe spending money on stuff, but rubbers really were not something I was ever going to cheap out on.

if legit, is a rubber band involved?  Or are we lining the, umm.. void? 

Don't know, not me. Buddy from Corpus told me he had a roommate who kept said baggies and yes, rubber bands, in his room for that purpose. This was late 70's so pre-AIDS scare. 

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My golf cart, 1991 Club Car, was making a little noise because the muffler shell was full of rust holes. A new one cost about $200 so I took a piece of galvanized sheet metal that was laying around the shop and clamped it in place. She purrs like a kitten now and the repair cost less than $10 for high-temp gasket silicone and a couple of clamps. 

IMG_20180508_192340_905.jpg

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Don't know, not me. Buddy from Corpus told me he had a roommate who kept said baggies and yes, rubber bands, in his room for that purpose. This was late 70's so pre-AIDS scare. 

That's a classy broad that will go along with that plan.
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6 minutes ago, texasdago said:

I do all my own yard work including mowing and edging.  I do it better and I'm cheaper.

This. 

Lately, I've been rummaging through debris piles in a new neighborhood.  Found enough limestone blocks to make borders around the trees and flower beds and I'm gathering large stones for a path to the backyard.   

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