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2 day "fuck off" pass this week


immamac

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3 minutes ago, Telegraph_it said:

@immamac what vaccine did you get? I think this will be the best stress test yet on its effectiveness. 
 

edit: assuming you go to Miami. 

Pfizer - alright there are no one way rentals available even from enterprise/avis/hertz mafia so I guess I have my answer - I have to drive back to miami.

Day 1 - Fly from AUS-> MIA land at 9:45, get rental car, hit the road by 11. Need a lunch recommendation while on the drive. Arrive around 4PM (long lunch and scenic route). Check in to hotel, take 1-2 hour nap. Hit up dive bars until 4AM and afterparty wherever if locals invite.

Day 2 - Wake up still drunk, get boozy breakfast brunch, get in the ocean or something that you can do drunk, late lunch (seafood/fresh catch shit, need recommendations), power nap, go to different dive bars until 4AM etc.

Day 3 (option A, failed mission) - Wake up near death, get an IV treatment, get a normal breakfast/brunch. Hit the road by 11, miami by 3 - turn in car and find a cool spot for dinner and/or try to fly standby back to austin.

Day 3 (option B, epic success) - Wake up plastered, but having found someone who will drive me back to miami in the car I rented for a fee. Repeat as much of day 2 as possible, leaving at 4PM, taking the power nap on the drive back to MIA, Airport dinner -> 9PM flight home. 

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I feel like this is a trap, for when you return.


No wife in the history of marriages has said “go ahead and take a few days off while I stay back with the baby.”. And then said husband goes to Miami for a bachelor party like fling-solo?

You really should be prepping for shitstorm that’s waiting for you upon your return.

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2 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I feel like this is a trap, for when you return.


No wife in the history of marriages has said “go ahead and take a few days off while I stay back with the baby.”. And then said husband goes to Miami for a bachelor party like fling-solo?

You really should be prepping for shitstorm that’s waiting for you upon your return.

Well considering she just got back from a bachelorette party where I took care of the kid I fail to see the difference. 

If I wanted to fuck whores and chase pussy I would have just gone to cancun or another sex tourism place. 

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8 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

Key West sounds awesome, but that's a lot of transit time.  At least the drive should have great scenery.

 

7 hours ago, immamac said:

I could fly into MIA - rent a convertible M4 or a ferrari or something, drive to key west - get hammered and eat well, sleep - drive back to miami, rinse repeat wake up fly home.

That actually sounds like a pretty cool "solo" trip.

 

7 hours ago, South Austin said:

I did the drive in a convertible from Miami to Key West for a long weekend in 2000, and it was fantastic, but quite the haul. 

Pro tip - Put on a ton of sunscreen. I didn’t think to do that, and got the worst sunburn in my life on the drive down.

I see that the flights are booked and a car is rented, but I recently learned Houston has direct flights straight into key west these days. Airport code is EYW. I was surprised to learn this, but we’ll be taking advantage of it soon. 

Edited by SydneyCarton
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51 minutes ago, immamac said:

Well considering she just got back from a bachelorette party where I took care of the kid I fail to see the difference. 

If I wanted to fuck whores and chase pussy I would have just fired up the sugar daddy ap and gone to town any day I wanted. 

FIFY

Edited by SydneyCarton
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Renting an exotic car to get on a highway that is basically one lane for several hours doesn’t sound like the best investment especially if it’s hot out and many of those don’t have a/c and you are at the mercy of the slowest car on the road... Save that bucket list item and fly into Germany and hit the autobahn on another trip... (150+ mph in an X5 with family onboard will cause a pucker that I won’t do again...)

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3 minutes ago, Grimas said:

Renting an exotic car to get on a highway that is basically one lane for several hours doesn’t sound like the best investment especially if it’s hot out and many of those don’t have a/c and you are at the mercy of the slowest car on the road... Save that bucket list item and fly into Germany and hit the autobahn on another trip... (150+ mph in an X5 with family onboard will cause a pucker that I won’t do again...)

Agreed.  I don't get the appeal of a convertible in hot/humid/trafficky conditions.  We rented a pretty cool Cadillac CTS our last trip down there.  The big engine and the air conditioning were a major plus on the trip down and back.  We parked it at the EYW hotel and walked/shuttled/UBERed the rest of the time we were in EYW.

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3 minutes ago, immamac said:

Everything is still cancelable, the drive seems cool, but if it really as lame from a driver's perspective as you say it is on a random Tuesday at noon then maybe I'll just fly straight in and out of houston. 

You need to do that drive at least once in your lifetime.  The whole history of that highway and the rail line that preceded it is very cool.  There is a reason that so much stuff in Florida is named Flagler.  Read up on it.

Edited by DalTxHornFan
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53 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

 

 

I see that the flights are booked and a car is rented, but I recently learned Houston has direct flights straight into key west these days. Airport code is EYW. I was surprised to learn this, but we’ll be taking advantage of it soon. 

Apparently not next week they don't. Lol

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Just now, DalTxHornFan said:

You need to do that drive at least once in your lifetime.  The whole history of that highway and the rail line that preceded it is very cool.  Read up on it.

Yeah and my wife hates drives to places that have airports. This will basically be my only opportunity to do it for a long long time. Maybe I'll pass on the exotic and just get a normal car with a good sunroof. 

This flight doesn't look too bad though if I just wanna skip driving and maximize drunkenness. 

Screenshot_20210425-195616.thumb.png.72bee4c27337ec370439d0b72c789382.png

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I say fly direct and just hit the ground running. You can rent a scooter or golf cart or something if you want to putz around and be scooter Jesus. No wasting time checking in/out of extra hotels or trying to figure out logistics of transportation. Really you could spend the whole three days not thinking about anything

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Different strokes for different folks. If I had 3 days to spend by myself, I would backpack up into the Sangre de Christo mountains east of Santa Fe and trout fish for a few days. Probably drink some bourbon while I was at it. Maybe read a book from my hammock. Basically get away from people.

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2 minutes ago, HookEm said:

Different strokes for different folks. If I had 3 days to spend by myself, I would backpack up into the Sangre de Christo mountains east of Santa Fe and trout fish for a few days. Probably drink some bourbon while I was at it. Maybe read a book from my hammock. Basically get away from people.

can't fly fish, hiking right now is ass tier as it's mud season. Also, this is about being a degenerate, not so much about the "vacation" aspect. I've been off of work the entire month, but haven't been able to just completely fuck off with no responsibilities, including taking care of myself lol

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I’d hit up Hotel San Cristobal in Todos Santos.  Nice Jeep drive up from Cabo, sit by the pool and drink Mezcal cocktails or Tecate or whatever.  Gaze upon the talent and wait for the panga fisherman to bring in something that can be Ceviche’d immediately.  Sleep in and repeat, maybe hit up Jazamango for a meal that slams for, like, $40 USD.  Don’t forget to soak up some local $.80 tacos and see if there’s any live music in the town square.  Last time we went there was a great band playing off the alternator of a mid ‘90s suburban.  Not a single federale to be seen and very few fat Americans clogging up the beach.  

Edited by USCATX
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14 hours ago, immamac said:

Pfizer - alright there are no one way rentals available even from enterprise/avis/hertz mafia so I guess I have my answer - I have to drive back to miami.

Day 1 - Fly from AUS-> MIA land at 9:45, get rental car, hit the road by 11. Need a lunch recommendation while on the drive. Arrive around 4PM (long lunch and scenic route). Check in to hotel, take 1-2 hour nap. Hit up dive bars until 4AM and afterparty wherever if locals invite.

Day 2 - Wake up still drunk, get boozy breakfast brunch, get in the ocean or something that you can do drunk, late lunch (seafood/fresh catch shit, need recommendations), power nap, go to different dive bars until 4AM etc.

Day 3 (option A, failed mission) - Wake up near death, get an IV treatment, get a normal breakfast/brunch. Hit the road by 11, miami by 3 - turn in car and find a cool spot for dinner and/or try to fly standby back to austin.

Day 3 (option B, epic success) - Wake up plastered, but having found someone who will drive me back to miami in the car I rented for a fee. Repeat as much of day 2 as possible, leaving at 4PM, taking the power nap on the drive back to MIA, Airport dinner -> 9PM flight home. 

If you are still functioning after the bars close there is a club called the Oriole Club on Simonton Street right by Front Street. I have never been there but it is apparently where all the bartenders and dancers go after shift. 

 

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18 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

Nothing screams "dream getaway" like hanging out with Pat Green, Kevin Fowler and Cody Canada.

At least you can catch Bruce & Kelly, Lucinda Williams, and Ray Wylie Hubbard.

Nothing says getting out of Austin, Texas like going somewhere for a Red Dirt Americana music festival. Abort. Abort.

Edited by Landomatic
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9 hours ago, USCATX said:

I’d hit up Hotel San Cristobal in Todos Santos.  Nice Jeep drive up from Cabo, sit by the pool and drink Mezcal cocktails or Tecate or whatever.  Gaze upon the talent and wait for the panga fisherman to bring in something that can be Ceviche’d immediately.  Sleep in and repeat, maybe hit up Jazamango for a meal that slams for, like, $40 USD.  Don’t forget to soak up some local $.80 tacos and see if there’s any live music in the town square.  Last time we went there was a great band playing off the alternator of a mid ‘90s suburban.  Not a single federale to be seen and very few fat Americans clogging up the beach.  

When we’re you there? I’ve heard great things but it also seems rich Americans have bought up a lot of it. I know they have music festivals down there now. 

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Tomorrow I'll start another thread off the public board - I will relinquish control and decision making to the members of the surlyhorns community (no intentional death/super illegal activity will be followed). Live vicariously through immamac. 

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