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If you could fight one politician or political personality?


TexArcher

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In this fantasy, it's gonna be on PPV with all proceeds going to a charity of the winner's choice.  Standard MMA rules.  And the person you call out has to take the fight.  Everybody gets one month to get into shape or train or whatever.

Who do you want?

I'll take...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tucker Carlson, please.

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2 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

In this fantasy, it's gonna be on PPV with all proceeds going to a charity of the winner's choice.  Standard MMA rules.  And the person you call out has to take the fight.  Everybody gets one month to get into shape or train or whatever.

Who do you want?

I'll take...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tucker Carlson, please.

Yep, him. Fuck him. And we need a poll once we have a good group of candidates. 

Edited by InkaUtexas
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4 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

Yep, him. Fuck him. And we need a poll once we have a good group of candidates. 

Off the top of my head, I would expect the frontrunners to be:

Tucker Carlson, Ted Cruz, Matt Gaetz, Josh Hawley, and maybe Laura Ingraham for the ladies?

Edit: Jim Jordan

Edit: Mitch McConnell?

Edit: Why do so many of them need their asses thoroughly kicked on national television?

Edit: I'm not even a liberal, but I'm having trouble even coming up with someone from the left to make the top ten...

Edited by TexArcher
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57 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

Edit: Jim Jordan

55 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

For sure need Jim Jordan in there. 

If you're fighting Jim Jordan, all you need to do is say "I'M BEING MOLESTED BY THE TEAM DOCTOR" and all of the sudden he won't even know you're there. You can then do whatever you need to win.

 

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43 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

that vaping cunt Hannity. 

What I would find interesting is seeing Hannity actually fight someone. He fancies himself an actual tough guy because he has done martial arts training for many years. I am well past wanting to hit someone. However, Iron Mike is not so put him in the Octagon or ring with him. Let’s see how that goes.
 

 

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Steve Scalise. I’m hard of hearing, so I might miss his ‘stop’. I’m hard of seeing, so I might miss his ‘go limp’. I am tactile challenged so I might not feel his ‘tap out’.

So I’d keep on punching while asking him, “That sound - is it gun shots?”

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I don't want to fight anybody, just in case this thread ever gets used as evidence.
However, I would laugh my ass off if Mo Brooks were to accidentally fall into a pit filled with starving cannibal hillbillies.

I thought that was his base.
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I'm not in the best of shape after over a year of working from home, so I'd go with an easy one who definitely deserves an ass kicking: Dannie Goeb. Yeah, I know it's not very sporting. If y'all have a problem with it, my other two choices are Louie Goehmert and Briscoe Cain. The board can decide.

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5 hours ago, bolverk said:

I'm not in the best of shape after over a year of working from home, so I'd go with an easy one who definitely deserves an ass kicking: Dannie Goeb. Yeah, I know it's not very sporting. If y'all have a problem with it, my other two choices are Louie Goehmert and Briscoe Cain. The board can decide.

Goehmert, please. And while we're talking dumbass (I know, redundant) aggy and since the prime assholes have been mentioned (not sure I saw Cheney tho), I'd fuck up Rick Perry. No training needed. I'll just log into my student loans account to refresh my memory of why I hate that fucking dunce. 

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It's dotard and it ain't even close.  Since I didn't see any fantasy parameters in the OP.  I'd make it where I'm at least 10 years older than him, and get his fat, orange ass to the mat and beat him until he admitted he LOST over and over and over again.  And after he said it a dozen times, I'd beat him until he was unconscious, throw water on him, wake him up and make him tell me he lost over and over again.  And then I'd beat him unconscious again. 
The End. 

This is my pick too.

Maybe Steve King, if he still counts.
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If it's a fist fight, Charlie Kirk.  After he's knocked the fuck out, I want to whisper "lil bits, lil bits."

If it's verbal, MTG.  I'd like to approach her and ask, "Anyone ever tell you look like Mr. Potatohead?" in a tone that suggests I'm making a flattering comparison.  Then when she and her entourage act offended, I say something like, "I'm so sorry.  I meant no offense.  What's the new woke term for it?  Genderless Plastic Potato Person?"  as if they're taking offense at the Mr. part.  

 

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I'd be tempted to fight Eric Trump except I'd rather not shred my fist on those teeth.  I'd love to hurt Alex Jones somehow but would not want to see my fist disappear into that toxic ooze of cookie dough.  

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