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Trivial Cooking Shit That Makes You Surly.


ROFL BOX

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I'll start:

 

This fucking Calphalon multi-function toaster / broiler / oven has the quietest sound, it makes you stay within 4 feet to hear.

 

You need to re-press "start" after the preheat function is done. If not, it just shuts off.

 

The "beep" is damn near silent.3748d1f125fad911f82c4317caf55c91.jpgeb80ec55762dd7b9601f36c56e75e579.jpg

 

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

 

 

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your recipe says 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro.  so you buy a bunch of cilantro at the grocery store.  you take half the bunch out, start chopping, and that shit starts getting everywhere.  counter, floor, living room, somehow it's stuck to the dog, etc.  you add the 2 tablespoons to the recipe but don't bother with leftovers because that shit will be rotten tomorrow.  in a week you'll find a bag of slimy goo that used to be the other half of the cilantro in the fridge.

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Chicken. Why does it occasionally end up with the texture of rubber? It can be a whole breast or a tender and it can be grilled or fried. I’ve never had that problem with a whole roasted chicken. I’ve had the same experience with frozen fried HEB chicken tenders with sometimes half the bag with that awful texture.

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Chicken. Why does it occasionally end up with the texture of rubber? It can be a whole breast or a tender and it can be grilled or fried. I’ve never had that problem with a whole roasted chicken. I’ve had the same experience with frozen fried HEB chicken tenders with sometimes half the bag with that awful texture.

Avoid the chicken breast that has the white streaks in the grain. I don’t remember exactly what it is but it has to do with the chicken growing too fast. It makes the meat tough.

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2 hours ago, HouTex said:

Chicken. Why does it occasionally end up with the texture of rubber? It can be a whole breast or a tender and it can be grilled or fried. I’ve never had that problem with a whole roasted chicken. I’ve had the same experience with frozen fried HEB chicken tenders with sometimes half the bag with that awful texture.

https://www.ift.org/iftnext/2020/june/solving-the-mystery-of-wooden-breast-syndrome

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On 8/23/2021 at 12:08 PM, HouTex said:

Chicken. Why does it occasionally end up with the texture of rubber? It can be a whole breast or a tender and it can be grilled or fried. I’ve never had that problem with a whole roasted chicken. I’ve had the same experience with frozen fried HEB chicken tenders with sometimes half the bag with that awful texture.

Your average grocery store breast is far too thick to grill properly. Should be sliced in half down the middle at a minimum, if not also flattened with a rolling pin/mallet. A nice thin, flat chicken breast cooks much quicker and more evenly.

Edited by Storm the Field
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Your average grocery store breast is far too thick to grill properly. Should be sliced in half down the middle at a minimum, if not also flattened with a rolling pin/mallet. A nice thin, flat chicken breast cooks much quicker and more evenly.

Agreed. I do that every time. As someone posted above, I think it’s a condition that affects some chicken.
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When you'd like some avocados for a meal later that evening or the next day and walk in the store and all they have is a giant pile where every single one is lime green and hard as a rock. 

Ideally, grocery stores would have 4+ different bins:

Bin 1: Overripe. Use immediately for guac/avacado mash or throw away.

Bin 2: Perfectly ripe, use today or tomorrow.

Bin 3: Not quite ripe, use later this week.

Bin 4: Not even close to ripe.

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4 minutes ago, Storm the Field said:

When you'd like some avocados for a meal later that evening or the next day and walk in the store and all they have is a giant pile where every single one is lime green and hard as a rock. 

Ideally, grocery stores would have 4+ different bins:

Bin 1: Overripe. Use immediately for guac/avacado mash or throw away.

Bin 2: Perfectly ripe, use today or tomorrow.

Bin 3: Not quite ripe, use later this week.

Bin 4: Not even close to ripe.

There are only two types of avocados sold in stores, everyone knows this:

Unusable rocks.

Unusable mush.

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My one stove burner that has about 1/billionth of a millimeter between "gas well flare" and "a flame so low it won't even simmer a tablespoon of liquid."  I swear to God, I spend half my time cooking trying to dial it EXACTLY right within that tiny band of variability.  I am very much looking forward to a kitchen remodel and a new stove.

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1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

My one stove burner that has about 1/billionth of a millimeter between "gas well flare" and "a flame so low it won't even simmer a tablespoon of liquid."  I swear to God, I spend half my time cooking trying to dial it EXACTLY right within that tiny band of variability.  I am very much looking forward to a kitchen remodel and a new stove.

Well are you going to love it, or are you going to list it?

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On 8/23/2021 at 10:30 AM, elfenix said:

your recipe says 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro.  so you buy a bunch of cilantro at the grocery store.  you take half the bunch out, start chopping, and that shit starts getting everywhere.  counter, floor, living room, somehow it's stuck to the dog, etc.  you add the 2 tablespoons to the recipe but don't bother with leftovers because that shit will be rotten tomorrow.  in a week you'll find a bag of slimy goo that used to be the other half of the cilantro in the fridge.

You are not storing your cilantro properly.....

Stick them in a glass of water, stems down of course, and  loosely cover with a gallon size baggie.

Keep in the fridge.

I have used cilantro for a month or more like this. 

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5 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

You are not storing your cilantro properly.....

Stick them in a glass of water, stems down of course, and  loosely cover with a gallon size baggie.

Keep in the fridge.

I have used cilantro for a month or more like this. 

I'm not dedicating that much fridge space to an herb that costs $.32

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20 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

You are not storing your cilantro properly.....

Stick them in a glass of water, stems down of course, and  loosely cover with a gallon size baggie.

Keep in the fridge.

I have used cilantro for a month or more like this. 

i do this with green onion (using the bag from the store, don't use another fucking bag). 

difference being, green onion doesn't suck.

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