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2021 Houston Texans Ain't Shit Season Thread


Brothahorn

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We were second to last in pass yards per game surrendered and third to last on yards per pass attempt surrendered. CB was a good pick. Would’ve preferred Sauce but I think Stingley is very good and better built. Only question is if he stays healthy (which is a bad gamble at pick 3).

We were dead last in rush yards per attempt last year. Taking a mauler at guard was a good choice, especially in light of it netting us a fourth in two fifths to take the guy we probably would’ve taken anyway. Also improved pass pro.

Would’ve preferred Jordan Davis because fucking people up like he does up front on D has a crazy impact on the whole game, but I don’t think we necessarily failed either pick.

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25 minutes ago, TonyTexas said:

FWIW  Zierlein has the Texans taking Breece Hall at #37 in his day 3 mock. Can he go 3/3?  He had both Stingley and Green to the Texans in his 1st round mock. Which is pretty amazing. 

He’s a Houston legacy who’s extremely tied into the league and plugged into the Texans and several other teams directly.

He is given info direct from teams in exchange for being a media outlet when they need one to get stories out etc.

All this really tells you is who they want. Whether they are there on the board when it’s time to pick is the only variable.

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28 minutes ago, TonyTexas said:

FWIW  Zierlein has the Texans taking Breece Hall at #37 in his day 3 mock. Can he go 3/3?  He had both Stingley and Green to the Texans in his 1st round mock. Which is pretty amazing. 

He also has the Texans taking Nik Bonitto (FCB) and Alontae Taylor (CB - Tennessee) in the third.

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4 minutes ago, Ignatius said:

lol for real man what's your basis for comparison between Coutee and Pitre?

A local player that nobody outside of the Big12 has ever heard of or gives a shit about.  As Icono said, “second best player on Baylor’s defense!” Hell yeah sounds ready to pwn some people in the NFL! Most mock drafts had him in the third round, but we take him at 37 rather than spend a 5th to move up for Breece Hall or the NDSU WR. Or take the Pedo St. DE. Or settle for Ken Walker III. 

 

We are going to end up with Rex Burkhead and some 7th round SW Carolina St. fullback as our RBs next season. 

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2 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

A local player that nobody outside of the Big12 has ever heard of or gives a shit about.  As Icono said, “second best player on Baylor’s defense!” Hell yeah sounds ready to pwn some people in the NFL! Most mock drafts had him in the third round, but we take him at 37 rather than spend a 5th to move up for Breece Hall or the NDSU WR. Or take the Pedo St. DE. Or settle for Ken Walker III. 

 

We are going to end up with Rex Burkhead and some 7th round SW Carolina St. fullback as our RBs next season. 

lol dude...

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Not saying Keke Coutee would have been a Pro Bowler for us, but his development was severely impacted by BOB’s stupidity and anger. He was in BOB’s doghouse constantly despite the fact other pets of Easterfuck or BOB played worse and didn’t affect their playing time. BOB undermined his entire stay and never put him in space like he is meant to be used.

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8 minutes ago, Macklemore said:

Not saying Keke Coutee would have been a Pro Bowler for us, but his development was severely impacted by BOB’s stupidity and anger. He was in BOB’s doghouse constantly despite the fact other pets of Easterfuck or BOB played worse and didn’t affect their playing time. BOB undermined his entire stay and never put him in space like he is meant to be used.

Sold. BOB is gone so let’s get Coutee’s ass back here! The aggy fullback can be the third down back when Rex Burkhead has go back to the sideline for Rogaine. 

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I’m ok with them getting faster and more athletic at any position. I’m also ok with them picking players from Alabama.

Anyone know their pick status now after these trades? I still wouldn’t mind seeing them get the next best DE on the board.

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Texans Draft Grade

CB Derek Stingley Jr - LSU | C+
Texans coach Lovie Smith made it clear that he didn’t think his defense could play the way he wanted them to without improved play at cornerback. But did they take Stingley Jr too soon? Can he recover from his foot injury? And what is his relationship with Jesus Christ?

OG Kenyon Green - Texas A&M | A
The Texans knew they needed to upgrade their protection of quarterback Davis Mills, and they did that with their second pick of the first round. And he’s blessed with great versatility and faith in Jesus Christ. He also thanked God on draft day.

S Jalen Pitre - Baylor | A
Caserio is improving the Texans’ secondary, adding his second DB in Pitre. Pitre was a key player at Baylor, covering a lot of ground on the field and in Chapel. He signaled on his social media that he’s “God’s Son”.

WR John Metxhie IiI - Bama | A
The Texans took the first step in helping Mills this offseason with Cooks' extension, and now they give the second-year quarterback another weapon by trading up to draft a wide receiver. Another player recovering from injury. Not worrying about rehab or conditioning because he has faith in “God’s plan” to tear his ligament and he’ll just “roll with it.”

LB Christian Harris - Bama | A+
Looking no further than the first name filter on his Excel speadsheet, Caeserio pulled the trigger on another SEC standout. Also having faith “God’s plan”, Harris intends to fulfill God’s will by ripping the arms off of quarterbacks. Man, God must of really hated David Carr.

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