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I have a kitten, Help!


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I walk my dogs around my neighborhood quite a bit. In the last month or so, we've noticed a of kitten that seem to be living underneath one of the cars that parks on the street. (I think it is a Dodge Durango, so obviously it's a good shelter for them.) We feed it often, because I want as many feral cats as possible on my side at all times.

Anyhoo. You might have noticed that it has been really cold lately, so the girls and I decided to bring the kittens in for the night. I haven't taken care of a cat before, never mind a half frozen kitten.

How often should i feed it? Does it need milk? I think i read milk is bad. is it normal to get a boner when they rub on you? I don't mean when they're rubbing you on your dick. Everybody's gonna get hard with a warm kitten rubbing their dick. I mean when they rub on your face, or your legs. I don't want to fuck her (I think it's a her, not sure which one is the cloaca so hard to tell). Thanks for your help you're heroes!

6CB286F4-85EF-42A6-99ED-7ED4350BD6C7.jpeg

Edited by The Fantastic Dr. Scrote
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Canned or soft kitten food.

Litter box.  If you put it near the food and physically put the cat in the litter box a couple of times, they'll figure out that's where they're supposed to go.

You'll want to get it spayed or neutered in a few months, otherwise you really will have sexual issues with your kitten.  If it's a boy, it'll start pissing all over the house.  If it's a girl and she goes into heat, it's really fucking annoying.

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Kittens can tolerate milk better than adult cats.  But don't overdo it.

You can get "special" kitten milk that isn't dairy-based at petcosmart, along with some kitten food.  Probably best to go with canned as little as he is.

For small cats, you can use a foil tray for the litter box, they may have trouble getting in and out of a full-size one.  When they pee or poo, put them in there.  They figure it out right quick.

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Most (not all) kittens/cats are far easier to take care of than dogs, IMO.  I say "most" because I've had a couple that were short of fun.  We rescued a kitten the day IceAmmeggeddon started last year.  She follows me all over the house when I'm home and stares at me.  She doesn't like for me to pet her; however, everyone else in the house gets free range.  I rescued her and I feed her; however, she doesn't like me.  She's kind of a b****.  

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Adorable little girl, kudos for protecting her health and safety.

All advice above is good, but would add the importance of getting her plenty of toys (wine corks work too!) to stay engaged/stimulated and out of trouble…but try to avoid stuff with catnip until she’s at least 6 mo’s old.

Best wishes and god bless yall for the good deed; I wish more people were as sympathetic to homeless cats as they are with dogs.


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Most important: Spay/neuter ASAP once spring time rolls around…they only need to be a couple months old for eligibility. This is best possible way to prevent long-term suffering and many shelters will perform the procedure for very little cost.


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Do NOT give it milk.

If it won't take dry food, then give it wet food to start, until it's old enough to eat dry food.  Wet food is nasty in the long term.

Purina makes fine food.  Buy kitten formula.  Stay away from seafood (also nasty).  A relatively mild chicken formula will suffice.

PLENTY of fresh, clean water, changed often.

Do NOT put food and water near the litter box.  If you're gonna keep everything in the same area, at least separate them a bit.

Scoopable, unscented litter in the box.  Scoop daily.  Place kitten in box oftern until it gets the hint.  Then you can let it roam once it figures that shit out.  

Small fuzzy toys, corks, jingly balls, whatever.  

Don't subject kittens to sudden moves, harsh noises.  Soothing voice, calm demeanor, deliberate movements.

Something soft to curl up in.  Old blanket.  Even a towel.

If you keep it, I have more tips.  Good luck with the little fucker.  Cats can be a real blessing around the house.  They can also be a pain in the ass.   Most of that fault lies with the owner.

Edited by After irth
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Wet food is a pain in the ass, but . . . .

Cats are obligate carnivores.  They don't need anything other than meat (and some bones for calcium).  Yet, pet food makers insist on putting grain ingredients in food, both wet and dry, but dry is worse.

Cats get most of their water from eating bloody little animals, which is why they have bizarre relationships with water bowls, faucets, and toilets.  Wet food contains a lot of water, dry obviously doesn't.  Cats have more trouble downing water than middle-aged women.

Cats on dry food are like humans on a high-carb diet:  fat chonkers.  And they may develop kidney or urinary tract problems, or the beetus.

That said, some cats do fine on dry food their entire lives.  Others get fat and develop health problems, especially if "free fed" from a bottomless bowl of kibble.

The good news is if your cat starts getting chonky on dry food, a switch to wet will often fix them right up.

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We took in a stray someone obviously dumped before icemageddon. He was litter box trained already. He wants to be outside all the time. He is a fucking asshole and fights everything. I hate him so fucking much. I am not nice to him, but not mean. I just tell him to fuck right off all the time. This sonofabitch LOVES me. He won't fucking leave me alone. Stupid cats.

Edited by HOOKEM4
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14 hours ago, Gourmand said:

Get another one, they do much better in pairs and two are no more difficult to care for than one. 

I think you’re thinking of dogs. Unless they’re siblings, in my experience cats don’t really get along. I have a friend with several cats and they all just hang out in different rooms. When two are in the same room it winds up in a fight and the inferior cat retreats to another room.

Furthermore...

Dry food is fine. You can’t over feed them. They’ll eat what they want then stop. I used to look after a friend’s cat while he was out of town. He’d fill two bowls with dry cat food. I’d go over every other day to clean the litter boxes and make sure the food bowls were full. I only had to refill the food bowls once in a week’s time. Add two bowls of food and two more litter boxes and she could’ve probably been safely left alone for a whole week.

She loved tuna fish. Just the cheap Starfish kind which I think is disgusting. Get it packed in water, not oil. About 1/3 of a tin at a time was plenty. I made sure that affection time was over by that point because afterward she smelled like stinky tuna and I didn’t want her getting anywhere close to me.

Toys are weird. They’ll love them for a while then lose interest. That cat was the only cat I ever met who wasn’t amused by the plastic ring that comes off a bottle of milk. But she loved to paw at a sheet of paper towel set on the ground. Packing tissue as well. She also liked to chase after the light from a laser pointer but my friend stopped using it because he thought it was torturing her to make her chase something she could never catch. It’s a cat, dummy, she doesn’t care. You should attach it to the ceiling fan and let her go nuts. Don’t worry, though. Your cat will train you on what it likes.

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4 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I think you’re thinking of dogs. Unless they’re siblings, in my experience cats don’t really get along.

what? they absolutely do. I've had one cat for a long time and then two or three (after co-habitation with exes) and every feline duo or trio has always become tight-knit. It it sometimes the case that an older adult cat in an established home environment won't take kindly to a kitten/younger cat being introduced into the home but it is actually very productive to get a second kitten when adopting one. They do exceptionally well together and need each other for the play and companionship.

We adopted our second cat about six months ago when Austin Pets Alive put out a plea for adoptions and had waived all the fees because the other cat (1+ yr old) had become increasingly aggressive in his play and borderline psycho. He'd come flying out of nowhere and attack myself or my wife and had scratched our kid a few times pretty badly. When we brought the new kitten home, there was an adjustment for him and he  bullied the new one but we just kept them in separate spaces and slowly introduced them to each other and they worked it out. Now they are full on Brokeback for each other and it absolutely changed the older kitten for the better. 

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On 1/27/2022 at 4:30 PM, Gourmand said:

Get another one, they do much better in pairs and two are no more difficult to care for than one. 

Off topic, but a word of advice...don't get two female siblings if you get two dogs. Good chance you end up with two dogs who try to kill each other. It's a weird dynamic. Multiple female dogs don't get along with each other as a male and a female or two or more males. 

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17 minutes ago, After irth said:

It’s fairly clear that Buck doesn’t understand how cats work. 

There's no set rules.  Lots of cats get along in pairs or groups fine.  There are lots of cat colonies as examples.  But they are instinctively solitary animals and some cats don't get along with others.  Probably the better socialized to humans and to each other (starting young), the more likely they'll get along.

Not all cats do, but there's a big risk of a cat becoming obese free-feeding on dry food.  It's harder to free-feed wet food, and I verily believe that it's better for them, because of the moisture content, alone.  Less grain is better, too, and I haven't seen any grain-free dry cat food.  Closest thing is freeze dried.

We feed mostly wet (2x/day) with periodic dry food snacks, which does help with their teeth some.

We have a cat that got up to 21 lbs, now down to 12.  He was a feral kitten and I think close to starvation at points, so he's a glutton.  Still is, but doesn't get to chow down on dry food 24/7.  Thankfully, he never developed the beetus, but he did have a UTI/bladder infection that almost killed him that was due to obesity and dry fud.  He lost five lbs almost immediately going on wet tud.

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7 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Twice, I pos-repped you for your use of “fud”. 

I dont have the opportunity to write "food" all that often, especially in the context of cats, maybe text wife "get cat fud."  So it was subconscious.  But I left it on purpose.

6a9d0d6d6c4459fc00b88e62ac14fd05--cat-ar

Edited by TwiceHorn
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