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Latitude Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett-inspired 55+ Community Coming to Austin/Dallas/Houston


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24 minutes ago, longhornmatt said:

My wife really would move us to a Hogwarts land.  Why did you people have to speak that into existence?  I’m going to have to start referring to this as the “Retirement Community Which Must Not Be Named”.  

I’m going to be spending my golden years struggling up unnecessary winding staircases, eating British food, wearing cloaks in 100 degree heat, and watching people pretend to play Quidditch.  Fuck.  Suddenly the fake inland beach and Applebees food at Margaritaville Plano or whatever the fuck doesn’t seem so bad.

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Seriously.   My wife already turns our house into Hogwarts for Halloween.  This shit has to end.

Oh, and I'm a Slytherin.  Didn't even need to take the various online tests, but they all come out the same.

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I've never taken a test but if I ever did, I'd be sure to skew it intentionally toward Slytherin or Gryffindor.  And does anyone actually ever WANT to be Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw?  I don't think I could ever trust someone like that.

Anyway, since someone mentioned KISS and its extreme commercialization, I think I could be down for a "Hotter Than Hell" retirement village based in Las Vegas.

Oh, and "Come Monday" is a great song, one of my all time favorites.

 

 

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1 hour ago, longhornmatt said:

My wife really would move us to a Hogwarts land.  Why did you people have to speak that into existence?  I’m going to have to start referring to this as the “Retirement Community Which Must Not Be Named”.  

I’m going to be spending my golden years struggling up unnecessary winding staircases, eating British food, wearing cloaks in 100 degree heat, and watching people pretend to play Quidditch.  Fuck.  Suddenly the fake inland beach and Applebees food at Margaritaville Plano or whatever the fuck doesn’t seem so bad.


sign me up 

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"Margaritaville" is a 1977 song by American popular music singer-songwriter Jimmy Buffett from the album Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes. This song was written about a drink Buffett discovered at Lung's Cocina del Sur restaurant (where High 5 is located today) at 2700 W. Anderson Lane in Austin, Texas."

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6 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Went to a Jimmy Buffet concert when I was 18.  Cute girl on the lawn next to me grabbed me, started kissing and manhandling me.  It was great.  Then the gal with her - her mom - started doing the same thing with me.  They took turns.  As we shared shots from my canteen full of tequila.  Great concert.

I can 100% imagine that pair living in this community.

 

How old are you?

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3 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

My wife really would move us to a Hogwarts land.  Why did you people have to speak that into existence?  I’m going to have to start referring to this as the “Retirement Community Which Must Not Be Named”.  

I’m going to be spending my golden years struggling up unnecessary winding staircases, eating British food, wearing cloaks in 100 degree heat, and watching people pretend to play Quidditch.  Fuck.  Suddenly the fake inland beach and Applebees food at Margaritaville Plano or whatever the fuck doesn’t seem so bad.

what do you mean "pretend to play Quidditch"?

Texas Quidditch Takes Flight | The Alcalde

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A portion of my In Laws are Parrotheads. Went to the Vegas show. All day pool side listening to Buffet with folks from all over that did this every freaking year. Thier superbowl omg! It was fun enough, but by concert time I was ready to listen to anything else and really unenthesiastic about being offered another domestic light so I get get more pumped to dance to "Fins". Committed drinkers.

I'll be at the show in Austin in June. All the Gilfs I'm taking in a party bus are coupled and not that spry, so don't look to me for dates.

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11 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

So are you saying that my Hogwarts Castle retirement home might be a go?

10 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

You shut your fucking mouth RIGHT NOW.  My wife would have us living in such a community, and I don't know if I could stop the steamroller that she'd be in that respect.

7 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

My wife really would move us to a Hogwarts land.  Why did you people have to speak that into existence?  I’m going to have to start referring to this as the “Retirement Community Which Must Not Be Named”.  

I’m going to be spending my golden years struggling up unnecessary winding staircases, eating British food, wearing cloaks in 100 degree heat, and watching people pretend to play Quidditch.  Fuck.  Suddenly the fake inland beach and Applebees food at Margaritaville Plano or whatever the fuck doesn’t seem so bad.

giphy.gif
 

FUCK.  Just fucking great, my wife would move us there in a heartbeat.  

I’ll end up with a hip replacement in my old age because some spry 55 year-old hip-checked me in Quidditch.  

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8 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

This actually looks like my idea of Hell.  If I lived there, I really think I might kill myself just to accelerate my trip to the real thing.

I wouldn't kill myself. I might fake my death, so that they'd assume I was among the dozens of charred bodies left over from the mysterious explosion/fire at the poolside Damp Depends Dance-athon. But I'd escape, and crawl along the ridgetops like a withered lizard, trying to find something interesting, such as a meth lab that needs a mascot.

These are people who could afford to live anywhere in at least half the planet, and they choose Soylent Green Summer Camp.

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13 hours ago, Vegas64 said:

Interesting to see how this plays out business-wise. This could be a brilliant gambit or it could be a bad idea.

I assure you, JimmyBuffet, Inc. has no downside. It’s just a licensing agreement to them. They probably get 10% of the sales price of every house, plus an ongoing 10% fee on all food and drink sold in the development, plus another 10% of the annual HOA fees. The developer, their investor, and the bank takes all the risk. To them using the JB name is just a marketing expense to sell houses.

Bernard 

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My wife likes have Wheel of Fortune on in the background while cooking dinner or sitting down to eat. For the last year or so they have been pimping Margaritaville retirement communities. Couldn’t even imagine living at a place like that.

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18 hours ago, utee94 said:

I've never taken a test but if I ever did, I'd be sure to skew it intentionally toward Slytherin or Gryffindor.  And does anyone actually ever WANT to be Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw?  I don't think I could ever trust someone like that.

 

 

Lots of people claim Ravenclaw.  If 10 years from now, I should find myself moving into the yet undeveloped Harry Potter retirement village with a wife I've yet to meet, I'm joining the Hufflepuffs if there's not a muggle option.  I figure that's one way to be less involved in the community.  It'd probably backfire though and I'd end up being Hufflepuff Treasurer or some shit because there'd only be like 5 of us.  

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19 hours ago, utee94 said:

I've never taken a test but if I ever did, I'd be sure to skew it intentionally toward Slytherin or Gryffindor.  And does anyone actually ever WANT to be Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw?  I don't think I could ever trust someone like that.

Anyway, since someone mentioned KISS and its extreme commercialization, I think I could be down for a "Hotter Than Hell" retirement village based in Las Vegas.

Oh, and "Come Monday" is a great song, one of my all time favorites.

 

 


hufflepuf and ravenclaw chicks are the freakiest in bed <<< im betting heavy on this 

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My wife's uncle has one of those Jimmy Buffet margarita machines.  It's basically an over glorified blender/snowcone maker, but I'll be if that thing doesn't actually put out some pretty decent margaritas.  I like to ask for mine on the rocks just to mess with them when they fire that thing up.

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1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:


I mean, you can’t blame them for hating naggers.

At least some of them have informal bans on political discussion in public, yard signs, etc. Their god-king is not orange but lime-green. Article is well worth the read. 

 

Quote

My parents moved to a 55+ on a colf course after I graduated. My dad and I were playing a round, cruising in his candy apple red golf cart with ez-go's version of Camaro SS rims, and I asked him how he liked it. His response "Son, this place is like college, except everyone has shitloads of money"

Yeah that's kind of the appeal, according to this article. I would say that the place would be a nightmare for me but hey, people who are into that sort of thing are really into that sort of thing. I would hope one of the onsite amenities is a discreet VD clinic but I bet those old codgers don't give a fuck. It would probably just be fun gossip tracking down the sources of outbreaks. 

And I bet you would sell out a Willie-, George Strait- or Jerry Jeff-themed housing development real fast.

Bonus trivia: it is exactly 180-degrees wrong to call JJW "the Buffett of Texas." JJW took Buffett under his wing and showed him how to be the JJW of wannbe Gulf Coast trash.

Double bonus trivia: The two of them co-wrote "Railroad Lady" (famous in its Willie version) on a train down to Key West. Buffett had never been but Walker knew it well. 

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I loved Jimmy Buffet senior year high school and freshman year at UT. When I found out he used to open for Jerry Jeff, I was pissed as fuck I missed all that. It was his lyrics I dug and I listened to everything he had done to that point. I was deep into his shit. He even wrote a detective murder mystery book that I liked. But damned if he didn't sell out in his later years. Somewhere along the way, I stopped liking any of his new shit. I just hear the old stuff and I'm transported to 18 year old parrothead me and 80's Austin.

 

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I design this kind of thing for a living and feel like its shelf life is going to be short. But Hogwarts retirement land is going to get some people paaaaaid when millennials are ready to call it quits.  I have a UT quidditch national champ (also a world champ) on staff so we should be positioned well for the engineering contract.  

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7 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Bunch of semi-old, white people that put jimmy buffet at the top of entertainment? Sounds painful. You can only imagine their comments once the cheap tequila starts flowing. 

When they are lined up at the buffet, while consuming cheap tequila, Why Don’t We Get Drunk will be playing in the background.

These communities are year-round fuckfests.

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On 4/15/2022 at 10:40 AM, Brisketexan said:

Just the name of that goddamn song pisses me off.  Why? Because back in my 20s, when we were having 4-5 bachelor parties a year, we'd regularly go to NOLA for the party, because why the fuck not, NOLA is awesome.  One time, the crew of guys was heavy with parrot heads, and JB had just opened a Margaritaville Cafe in New Orleans.  So we HAD TO GO THERE FOR DINNER.  We couldn't go to New Orleans and NOT visit this Jimmy Buffet shrine.  So, there I was in goddamned New Orleans, one of the greatest food cities in the world, home of dozens of restaurants I love so much they bring tears to my eyes, and I had a goddamned mediocre cheeseburger for dinner, served by some yahoo in a Hawaiian shirt.

Happened decades ago, and still pisses me off.

Man, say what you will about Margaritaville restaurants, but when you've been in a Mexican fishing village for a week, eating the local faire, however delicious it may be...That Cheeseburger in Paradise at the Margaritaville in the Cancun airport slams and goes hard and takes the edge off the farewell party hangover. 

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Went to a Jimmy Buffet concert when I was 18.  Cute girl on the lawn next to me grabbed me, started kissing and manhandling me.  It was great.  Then the gal with her - her mom - started doing the same thing with me.  They took turns.  As we shared shots from my canteen full of tequila.  Great concert.
I can 100% imagine that pair living in this community.
I was about the same age, in line for a urinal in the men's room at a JB concert, standing next to the sink, when an older broad pushed through the line, jumped up on the counter, hiked up her skirt, spread her pussy, gave us a grin and just let loose in the sink.

It might have even been at Astroworld, IIRC.

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