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Bachelor/Bachelorette/Paradise Catch-All

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20 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

yep.  every season they try to find "the one" and are just shocked by the fact that they grew feelings for 2-3 different people.  then they explain just how hard it is on them.

How long is the actual process from the minute they get out of the limo to the moment when they get engaged? Two, three months?

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8 minutes ago, C-Man said:

How long is the actual process from the minute they get out of the limo to the moment when they get engaged? Two, three months?

my understanding is that the whole thing takes about 10 weeks from limo to ring (about one week per episode).  but the last 3-4 weeks are very stretched out (as you can always tell when the guys are like, "god it's been forever since i've seen you").  i think the bulk of what is seen on tv takes 6 weeks or so.  i would imagine just filming 4 hometowns takes two weeks or more.  then they may reset and take a breath, fly everyone back to the states, before flying everyone to wherever the finale is.  i don't see them going straight from thailand to [insert finale location].

bottom line, when someone gets engaged, they've likely had (at most) 4-5 one-on-one type dates, and a few group activities.  and maybe a sleepover in a thai mosquito tent.

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1 minute ago, henrygandorf said:

my understanding is that the whole thing takes about 10 weeks from limo to ring (about one week per episode).  but the last 3-4 weeks are very stretched out (as you can always tell when the guys are like, "god it's been forever since i've seen you").  i think the bulk of what is seen on tv takes 6 weeks or so.  i would imagine just filming 4 hometowns takes two weeks or more.  then they may reset and take a breath, fly everyone back to the states, before flying everyone to wherever the finale is.  i don't see them going straight from thailand to [insert finale location].

bottom line, when someone gets engaged, they've likely had (at most) 4-5 one-on-one type dates, and a few group activities.  and maybe a sleepover in a thai mosquito tent.

Makes sense that only like six of these things have ever actually resulted in a real marriage at the end.

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Last night was the "Guys Tell All" episode. We had a DirecTV mishap and missed about 10 minutes right in the middle (the "Grocery Joe" interview). My takeaway is -- and I've only really been watching for 6-7 seasons -- that I've never seen so much sniping among a group of guys than on this one. A lot of these dudes really, really don't like each other. It's clear Jordan and David haven't settled their differences after some time together down in Paradise.

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i only watched the first half, as i have little interest in seeing broken-hearted dudes or hearing from becca (i don't think the current contestant should appear on these shows).  but yeah, a bunch of them still don't like each other.

david got painted as a bully for picking on jordan, when it seemed (at the time) that he was really the spokesman for the group, many of whom disliked jordan's antics.  jordan claimed to be always positive, confident, fun, upbeat, and there to put a smile on becca's (and everyone's) face.  then he gets bent out of shape when people called him a clown.  i'm no dictionary salesman, but isn't that the sole purpose of a clown?

also it's clear a bunch of these guys were just in mexico together, so i really don't care to see them talk about stuff that happened months ago, when we're about to see stuff that happened weeks ago.

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oh, and last night i went to mission impossible at grauman's chinese, 7pm show, and ashley i and jared were in line in front of us to buy popcorn.  she has fat legs and wears a lot of makeup.  he's a bigger dude than i thought he was.

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2 hours ago, C-Man said:

Last night was the "Guys Tell All" episode. We had a DirecTV mishap and missed about 10 minutes right in the middle (the "Grocery Joe" interview). My takeaway is -- and I've only really been watching for 6-7 seasons -- that I've never seen so much sniping among a group of guys than on this one. A lot of these dudes really, really don't like each other. It's clear Jordan and David haven't settled their differences after some time together down in Paradise.

Grocery Joe was a dud to be interviewed, lame replies and Harrison even called him out on it, so you missed nothing. If there was ever a consideration to make him the Bachelor (they’ve done it before with underdog Bob Guiney and Juan Pablo), he just took a big, monosyllabic dump on that concept.

i believe Jordan is just as dumb as he seems. 

Jared is the vampire-looking waiter, right? About as average as you can get. Proof you can put a camera on just about anyone who’s not a complete ass, and they can be “America’s favorite.”

Anyone seen if Dean is on Paradise? He’s Bachelor Nation royalty, and I predict he’ll be The Bachelor one day. He just needed some maturity. If he’s not on Paradise, they may think he’s already ready.

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i like joe.  midwest dude, seemed good for becca.  i was pretty surprised he didn't make it past week 1.  guess i'm not alone since he has a fan following now.

has someone who received zero roses ever made it to the big chair with chris harrison and onto bip?  doesn't seem likely.

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35 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

i like joe.  midwest dude, seemed good for becca.  i was pretty surprised he didn't make it past week 1.  guess i'm not alone since he has a fan following now.

has someone who received zero roses ever made it to the big chair with chris harrison and onto bip?  doesn't seem likely.

No I believe Harrison told him he was the first

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Cracked me up how Garrett tried to explain away his social media. There was a lot of explaining and strained looks. Seems like he had to change his tune to keep Becca

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And so it starts. Three hours of BiP this evening and it looks like it's going to be a glorious season.

BTW, read online that Kathryn Dennis of SOUTHERN CHARM says she's been in contact with the BACHELOR folks about possibly being the next Bachelorette.

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3 hours?  I thought it was only 2, but that works for me.  They better not spend an hour on Becca/Garrett.  The only reason I make it through that shit is for BIP.  It's done.  Move on to the true garbage we love please.  

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14 minutes ago, Go Pokes said:

3 hours?  I thought it was only 2, but that works for me.  They better not spend an hour on Becca/Garrett.  The only reason I make it through that shit is for BIP.  It's done.  Move on to the true garbage we love please.  

Sorry. It's two hours tonight but then I think it goes Monday-Tuesday night the rest of the summer.

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Decent opening act. Looks like Colton being painted as the early villain. Watching Jordan, Chris and that other spare scheming already was pretty entertaining. What a trio of dipshits.

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I want Tia to sit on my face.  


I can’t get over the bad ink on the back of her upper arm. And that accent.

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The way Jordan, Chris and other guy were talking, I thought they were going to jump Colton the moment he got back from the date. Instead they took him aside to talk to him. Maybe they'll beat him up.

I loved how the Jordan/Chris/other guy kept saying they were doing it for Tia. Someone has to protect Tia. Someone has to think of Tia. It's not for their own selfish reasons! It's for Tia!!!! 

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So I found myself watching some of this with the wife last night after wrapping up work... Apparently one guy was on the last season, but was cut when a girl who's now on this season said she was still interested in said guy? And then last night, the same guy is getting approached by the girl who dumped him for hanging out with the original girl? I don't have a stake in the game, but it seems like they're just fucking with this dude.

Edited by Saint Austin

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2 hours ago, Saint Austin said:

So I found myself watching some of this with the wife last night after wrapping up work... Apparently one guy was on the last season, but was cut when a girl who's now on this season said she was still interested in said guy? And then last night, the same guy is getting approached by the girl who dumped him for hanging out with the original girl? I don't have a stake in the game, but it seems like they're just fucking with this dude.

Yeah, my wife and I said the same thing. I've been watching Paradise since at least the second summer and they've never done something like this. They're doing Colton dirty on this deal. FTR, I have no issue with how Colton is going about this. As far as we know, he and Tia had a one weekend fling (could've been one night) and then have talked back-and-forth on social media for the past 6+ months. Tia dropped that bomb on Becca when he was one of the Final 4, I think, and it completely killed any chance he had. Colton doesn't know what he's got with Tia, which is why he took her on the date. But he's talking to other girls, which he pretty plainly stated he was going to do. I almost felt bad for the dude last night.

I called Chris, Jordan and the other guy who got clipped last night a trio of dipshits further up the thread. Colton referred to them as "The Three Stooges" last night. Thought that was funny. Can't wait for the Jordan/David shit to get going. Dis gon' be gud.

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Jordan placing Mexico in the Southern Hemisphere put a pensive look on my face.


“South hemisphere “. It was so good.

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1 hour ago, zman13 said:

Chris trying to be a player....and Jordan egging him on. 

That was not a good look for those two.  Comparing the women to meal courses seems misguided.  And Goose (lol) acting like he was going to be banging 4 women between now and the rose ceremony was gold.  

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On 8/14/2018 at 10:07 PM, Vito Andolini said:

Jordan placing Mexico in the Southern Hemisphere put a pensive look on my face.

DirecTV went out (again) on Tues night so I didn't get to see that episode until last night. That was hilarious. Just when I think he's playing up the stupidity as schtick he goes and says something like that. Minus the voice and god awful tattoo down the middle of her back, Jenna is quite hot. (Oh, and the fact that she thinks she's an alien.)

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finally caught up as well.  not gonna quote anyone, because i'm basically quoting everyone.

-what the fuck with becca showing up.  i know bip isn't that old, but i ain't never seen that shit before.  i really really hope they're grooming colton to be the bachelor and this is some sort of long game the producers are running.  otherwise, good god.  i don't even like him, i've mentioned his emotional maturity level being in the mid teens, but that was out of line.  we had to watch tia pine over him, then that whole mess when he arrives, then chris and the brute squad waiting up to lecture him, now the bachelorette comes to "console" him, before walking off and saying, "i'll tell garrett you said hi".  are they kidding with this shit?  becca sucks for even agreeing to it.

-speaking of chris, dude.  he gets all riled up about "treating tia right" while waiting for her and colton to return, then turns around and makes out with krystal, and now is locker-rooming it up with jordan?  half of mexico saw them making out, did chris really think that wasn't going directly back in tia's ear?  and on top of that, he thought he could just start mowing down chicks afterwards?  a bunch of drunk, irrational women in a small, confined space.  yeah, that seems like a sound strategy.  nice justice that it came from colton as well.  somebody was gonna tell tia, may as well keep him relevant.

-note, i'm not saying i want colton to be the next bachelor, but it sure seems like they're doing all this for a reason

-the jordan conversation with annalise.  wow.  in his mind, he did the right thing, sat her down, and told her the truth, which is the best policy, and something she'll respect him for.  in reality, he sat her down, told her about 25x how amazing his other date was, while getting distracted just thinking about it, and then telling her that hey, if something goes wrong, he'll consider coming back to see what's what.  jordan was sorta starting to act normal and half-way likable, so i'm enjoying this turn of events.

-the timing of arrivals and the editing is way better this year.  it actually seems like they've put thought into it and trying to create actual drama, instead of putting a bunch of cameras in mexico and sorting it out later.  there have been several new arrivals fucking up existing couples.  on that note, the venmo guy (blanking on his name) - wow, he's a player now.  caroline is a nice catch for a dude like that, but he looks like he might blow her off.  obviously they looked on people's preference sheet to time that one properly.  nicely done.

-the only bummer to the chris situation is that i feel like tia is about to tell him to get bent, which means he'll likely be stuck with krystal.  in turn, colton will be there to pick up the tia pieces, and will likely give her the rose, thrusting them back into a relationship that seemingly neither of them wanted.

-the david vs jordan stuff is fantastic, even if it's totally scripted.  and by scripted, i mean two producers pulling david aside and feeding him moves.  the whole birthday thing with the alien was top shelf shit.  jordan loses all composure when he's around.  she's like, "um, you seem angry, you'll squeezing my hand very hard."  classic.

-assuming they don't add anymore people, there sure seem to be a bunch of chicks, which means several are heading home.  i'd like to see caroline stay.  i would guess one of the black chicks is heading home.  i never see eric talking to anyone, so i don't know what he's thinking.  if colton doesn't give tia his rose, she should go home.  but he will, and she won't.  i would imagine they'll give david the second to last rose, and jordan the last one, giving david a chance to scoop jordan and fuck with his move.  that's what i'd do.

-bummer we have to wait 6 days to see chris get a proper talking to.  if kenny swoops in and steals krystal back, i can see chris getting the sads and just going home.  mopey/angry chris is kinda scary, but confident chris is offputting.

until next week, 

-reality hg

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ok, so i totally forgot that kenny got friend-zoned by krystal, so i'm guessing she'll be left for chris, even after the drama.  no idea who kenny is gonna go for.

also lulz at chris using a pathetic line that clearly krystal didn't care about, then bragging about it to jordan.

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finally caught up as well.  not gonna quote anyone, because i'm basically quoting everyone.
-what the fuck with becca showing up.  i know bip isn't that old, but i ain't never seen that shit before.  i really really hope they're grooming colton to be the bachelor and this is some sort of long game the producers are running.  otherwise, good god.  i don't even like him, i've mentioned his emotional maturity level being in the mid teens, but that was out of line.  we had to watch tia pine over him, then that whole mess when he arrives, then chris and the brute squad waiting up to lecture him, now the bachelorette comes to "console" him, before walking off and saying, "i'll tell garrett you said hi".  are they kidding with this shit?  becca sucks for even agreeing to it.
-speaking of chris, dude.  he gets all riled up about "treating tia right" while waiting for her and colton to return, then turns around and makes out with krystal, and now is locker-rooming it up with jordan?  half of mexico saw them making out, did chris really think that wasn't going directly back in tia's ear?  and on top of that, he thought he could just start mowing down chicks afterwards?  a bunch of drunk, irrational women in a small, confined space.  yeah, that seems like a sound strategy.  nice justice that it came from colton as well.  somebody was gonna tell tia, may as well keep him relevant.
-note, i'm not saying i want colton to be the next bachelor, but it sure seems like they're doing all this for a reason
-the jordan conversation with annalise.  wow.  in his mind, he did the right thing, sat her down, and told her the truth, which is the best policy, and something she'll respect him for.  in reality, he sat her down, told her about 25x how amazing his other date was, while getting distracted just thinking about it, and then telling her that hey, if something goes wrong, he'll consider coming back to see what's what.  jordan was sorta starting to act normal and half-way likable, so i'm enjoying this turn of events.
-the timing of arrivals and the editing is way better this year.  it actually seems like they've put thought into it and trying to create actual drama, instead of putting a bunch of cameras in mexico and sorting it out later.  there have been several new arrivals fucking up existing couples.  on that note, the venmo guy (blanking on his name) - wow, he's a player now.  caroline is a nice catch for a dude like that, but he looks like he might blow her off.  obviously they looked on people's preference sheet to time that one properly.  nicely done.
-the only bummer to the chris situation is that i feel like tia is about to tell him to get bent, which means he'll likely be stuck with krystal.  in turn, colton will be there to pick up the tia pieces, and will likely give her the rose, thrusting them back into a relationship that seemingly neither of them wanted.
-the david vs jordan stuff is fantastic, even if it's totally scripted.  and by scripted, i mean two producers pulling david aside and feeding him moves.  the whole birthday thing with the alien was top shelf shit.  jordan loses all composure when he's around.  she's like, "um, you seem angry, you'll squeezing my hand very hard."  classic.
-assuming they don't add anymore people, there sure seem to be a bunch of chicks, which means several are heading home.  i'd like to see caroline stay.  i would guess one of the black chicks is heading home.  i never see eric talking to anyone, so i don't know what he's thinking.  if colton doesn't give tia his rose, she should go home.  but he will, and she won't.  i would imagine they'll give david the second to last rose, and jordan the last one, giving david a chance to scoop jordan and fuck with his move.  that's what i'd do.
-bummer we have to wait 6 days to see chris get a proper talking to.  if kenny swoops in and steals krystal back, i can see chris getting the sads and just going home.  mopey/angry chris is kinda scary, but confident chris is offputting.
until next week, 
-reality hg


The Jordan-Annalise conversation was incredible. Can’t believe she didn’t just punch him in the face right then and there. He just starts talking, has no idea what he’s saying and doesn’t know when to stop. Just no self-awareness at all. Mind bottling. David is his kryptonite — which is funny because he’s a bigger tool than Jordan.

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Krystal has some balls, blowing off Kenny just before the rose ceremony when the guys give out the roses. She has faith in herself.

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Krystal has some balls, blowing off Kenny just before the rose ceremony when the guys give out the roses. She has faith in herself.

 

First chink in her armor as it appeared she was possibly a lot less crazy than she was on Arie’s season. Oops.

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Krystal and her love of investing and her IRA Roth.

I'm very tired of the Tia and Colton drama. Watching them stumble through talking about their relationship  is like watching every romantic comedy where some miscommunication keeps the leads apart and then they realize they love each other get back together at the very end.

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On ‎8‎/‎15‎/‎2018 at 9:49 PM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:


Chris is the type of guy that has never had many opportunities and is now trying to take advantage of the situation. He’s terrible with zero game.

last night proved this again.  He's one of the worst wannabe players I've ever seen.  

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1 hour ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

last night proved this again.  He's one of the worst wannabe players I've ever seen.  

Watching his and Jordan's "meeting of the minds" is hilarious. Kenny made out with three different girls before the Rose Ceremony. John picking Jubilee was an interesting twist. I figured he was Team Caroline all the way. I don't know what it is but this season seems a little off. Have they cut back on the boozing after last summer's debacle involving Corrine?

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3 hours ago, C-Man said:

Watching his and Jordan's "meeting of the minds" is hilarious. Kenny made out with three different girls before the Rose Ceremony. John picking Jubilee was an interesting twist. I figured he was Team Caroline all the way. I don't know what it is but this season seems a little off. Have they cut back on the boozing after last summer's debacle involving Corrine?

that's probably a good call.  there definitely isn't as much noticeable drunkenness.  

-jordan is a ticking time bomb, and everybody knows it.  i really hope david has a real thing for chelsea, and the two of them can laugh about jordan together when shit inevitably goes south with jenna.  he plays the foil so perfectly, but i need to see him actually talking to chicks.

-lots of quality went home this week.  really shocked that john picked jubilee, but that's a straight up "type" thing in my opinion.  they're so different, in looks and personality, it's gotta come down to personal preference.  i think caroline kinda got screwed coming into the game so late.  jacqueline, even more so, but i don't really mind her leaving.  it was pretty obvious that nysha (sp?) was gonna leave.  bibiana is a tough one.  she never seemed to chat anyone up until a last ditch effort with kenny, once someone literally told her that kenny might be interested.  she was way more entertaining on bachelor/winter games.  maybe she just had a bad week.  or maybe "her person*" was just someone who hasn't shown up yet.

*i understand that today's young people don't want to be tagged and classified and identified as "he or she" (see the pronoun game from billions), but i'm getting really tired of hearing "my person" from all these girls (and colton).  we fucking get it.  you're not looking for your spider-monkey or your shoe-box, you're looking for your person.  that should be part of the drinking game, if there is one**

**there must be one, right?

-i agree with the bore that is the tia and colton show.  that said, once a couple settles in and is happy, they typically stay off camera, so i'm ok with that happening if it means i don't have to watch it.

-am i the only one that found it hilarious that after the whole jordan incident, the one person who was like, "totally, i mean, i get it" was krystal, the most certifiably nutso chick on the show?  there are definitely women out there who like that type of show of emotion, but 90%+ of them see it, file it away, and use it the first chance they get to split.

-i'm excited to see benoit (balls) come onto the show, as i liked most of the foreign dudes on winter games.  it's an added bonus that he's gonna fuck with jordan's game.

-i'm not excited to see leo, as i never really liked him, and don't want to see joe fucked around with.

-annalise's survival instincts really kicked in.  maybe i underestimated her. 

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I felt like David picked Chelsea because of her little spat with Jordan. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if his entire motivation was to have a partner in crime to fuck with Jordan. “Look. Your not making a connection. I’m not making a connection. Let’s just give each other our roses for the next week weeks and make this asshole’s life a living hell. Oh, and more free vacation”.

I wonder if everyone there has been filled in on the history between those two. It seems like maybe not. If that’s the case, they must think he’s a total but who just snapped when in reality, this has been building up for a long time.

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1 hour ago, Go Pokes said:

I felt like David picked Chelsea because of her little spat with Jordan. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if his entire motivation was to have a partner in crime to fuck with Jordan. “Look. Your not making a connection. I’m not making a connection. Let’s just give each other our roses for the next week weeks and make this asshole’s life a living hell. Oh, and more free vacation”.

I wonder if everyone there has been filled in on the history between those two. It seems like maybe not. If that’s the case, they must think he’s a total but who just snapped when in reality, this has been building up for a long time.

yeah, i hadn't really thought about it, but this show films in june, which is when like ep2-ep6 of the bachelorette aired, so they would've totally missed it, and probably weren't sure anyway what was and wasn't edited out for the show.

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So for the first half of their dinner conversation, frenchy had red lipstick all over his face. Then it was gone.

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15 hours ago, Lat22 said:

It’s hard to watch these beta males in action. Leo notwithstanding.

It's interesting because Leo was a pretty stand-up guy on Becca's season. He was not a shit-stirrer at all. Now he comes in like a bull in a china shop.

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I haven’t watched the last three or four bachelor/ettes so I wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy paradise without knowing anybody (except for Jubilee and Astra). The shit the producers put these willing participants through is just allsome!

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50 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

I haven’t watched the last three or four bachelor/ettes so I wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy paradise without knowing anybody (except for Jubilee and Astra). The shit the producers put these willing participants through is just allsome!

They should bring back Bachelor Pad.  

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