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Penelope

Open a bar they said, It will be fun they said...

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3 hours ago, Thetexashammer said:

But you're getting rich, right? I heard you get rich opening a bar. Do you also live in the back? I heard that makes things a lot easier. 

Also I have it on good authority that this whole "sales tax" thing is completely optional. Every penny counts you know.

Plus, I heard the TABC is just a great organization. Really easy going fun loving people. 

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So an employee that is off the clock can't be intoxicated in the bar they are employed by?  This is a bigger entrapment example than cops in the parking lot.

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15 hours ago, Fuck Tim Beck said:

Plus, I heard the TABC is just a great organization. Really easy going fun loving people. 

If they had a bar I'd encourage everyone to shit in their urinal.

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On 6/14/2018 at 7:15 AM, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

If you serve food feed them as well.

Not sure I want to know how one decides to open a bar in Jarrell.

The next time they show up. I’m bringing them hamburgers and cokes. You guys are brilliant. 

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I opened a bar in Jarrell because they didn’t have one and are one of the fastest growing communities in Williamson county. 

It is illegal for an employee to be intoxicated at the bar where they work. I don’t know if this only applies to private clubs or normal bars as well. I’m pretty sure it’s all bars. I will ask TABC when I go in for my hearing. (This Thursday)

By employees stealing did you mean money? Alcohol? Giving drinks away? Food out of the freezer? Yes to all of the above.

 I’m making so much money, I’ll be a surly 1% in no time or I have yet to collect a pay check. It’s one of the two. 

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Technically, it's illegal for anyone to be intoxicated in a bar in Texas. 

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9 minutes ago, RPM said:

Technically, it's illegal for anyone to be intoxicated in a bar in Texas. 

Insert Ron White's I was drunk in a bar but the bouncer threw me into publick routine.

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1 hour ago, RPM said:

Technically, it's illegal for anyone to be intoxicated in a bar in Texas. 

True. They fine you more if it’s an employee 

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Sounds like some NIMBY with small town political connections found an excuse to fuck you over. One hater didn’t want a bar in the first place.

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5 hours ago, RPM said:

Technically, it's illegal for anyone to be intoxicated in a bar in Texas. 

Lock me up.

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1 hour ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

I would come to your bar in Jarrell,  drink beer, tip well, and not shit on your floors .... if only I knew its name. 

Shouldn't be hard to find, it's the only one. "Is this Jarrell? Where's the bar?". 

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^^^S'what I'm saying. Of course the thieving bastards steal. I want cool stealing stories. And all those sleazy co-worker fucking stories too. If it's a bar story, and I am not simultaneously amused and depressed? Well then it's not a bar story, is it.

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See that cloud over there? The one that looks like "bars went to shit when the jukebox went away"? Yean, that's the one I'm yelling at. 

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14 hours ago, El Diablo said:

See that cloud over there? The one that looks like "bars went to shit when the jukebox went away"? Yean, that's the one I'm yelling at. 

I just took a picture of a bunch of people staring at their phones. Blew it up and glued it to the inside of the garage. Then I sit there alone and charge myself extra to drink my grocery store beer. Tips are pretty decent though.

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15 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

I just took a picture of a bunch of people staring at their phones. Blew it up and glued it to the inside of the garage. Then I sit there alone and charge myself extra to drink my grocery store beer. Tips are pretty decent though.

You need a stock "laugh track" of random come ons and outlandish claims regarding income, sexual prowess, former athletic achievements, ........  

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1 minute ago, Incredulity said:

You need a stock "laugh track" of random come ons and outlandish claims regarding income, sexual prowess, former athletic achievements, ........  

Yes. And that girl who goes "WHOO!"

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15 hours ago, Thetexashammer said:

Is it the Lucky Penny Lounge? Looks pretty nice. Got pool tables, darts, beer. Seems classy.

It's called that because the owner will be lucky to make a penny at this rate! 

Just a little father's day humor for everyone. God bless. 

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19 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

I just took a picture of a bunch of people staring at their phones. Blew it up and glued it to the inside of the garage. Then I sit there alone and charge myself extra to drink my grocery store beer. Tips are pretty decent though.

You got a pay phone in there?

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26 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Of course. I check it for spare change.

Shouldn't be no spare change if the users know how to beat the pay phone company. I learned on the one in the gym in high school. I think it involved hitting the coin return button with the handset and required a bit of timing.

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20 hours ago, Thetexashammer said:

Is it the Lucky Penny Lounge? Looks pretty nice. Got pool tables, darts, beer. Seems classy.

Thank you. You just made my day.  I put a lot of time and effort to make it a nice place.  Pm the next time you come in, I will buy you a drink. If I’m not here, (unlikely) I will message my bartender to do the same.

We are located off I35, exit 275, in the strip mall behind McDonald’s. 

 

 

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22 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

Are there bartenders who don’t steal, do drugs, or fuck the customers?

 

I’m completely ok with them doing #2 and/or #3 as long as it’s done off premise. Not so much #2 because it leads back to #1. 

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5 hours ago, Hank Scorpio said:

It's called that because the owner will be lucky to make a penny at this rate! 

Just a little father's day humor for everyone. God bless. 

Made me laugh because it’s true. Actually it’s Lucky Penny because Penelope 

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1 hour ago, chitwood said:

Drinking a beer here on the way home from a meeting. Good tap selection, especially for Jarrell. 

Yell muledick and buy this man a beer Penelope.

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But you're getting rich, right? I heard you get rich opening a bar. Do you also live in the back? I heard that makes things a lot easier. 
Also I have it on good authority that this whole "sales tax" thing is completely optional. Every penny counts you know.
Chinese restaurants and donut shops never pay taxes on cash transactions.

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Do you get many drivers from the Flying J in there? Most of them are too dumb to notice a bar there unless you have a sign where they can see it.

 

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9 hours ago, drifter379 said:

Do you get many drivers from the Flying J in there? Most of them are too dumb to notice a bar there unless you have a sign where they can see it.

 

I have no idea how far that is away, it any of it since I've never seen anywhere near it, but could you advertise in the truck stop? Hell, offer a shuttle.

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12 hours ago, markstanco said:
On 6/16/2018 at 4:04 PM, Thetexashammer said:
But you're getting rich, right? I heard you get rich opening a bar. Do you also live in the back? I heard that makes things a lot easier. 
Also I have it on good authority that this whole "sales tax" thing is completely optional. Every penny counts you know.

Chinese restaurants and donut shops never pay taxes on cash transactions.

 

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On 6/9/2018 at 12:34 PM, Surly Bevo said:

You''ll want to start at 3:00

 

 

 

Billy Crystal is tiny. He can't be over 5'5 can he? 

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11 hours ago, drifter379 said:

Do you get many drivers from the Flying J in there? Most of them are too dumb to notice a bar there unless you have a sign where they can see it.

 

I get about 5-6 truckers a week. My sign’s on the monument with all the other names in the plaza. Really can’t be seen by the truckers.  I’d like to figure out a way to get more of them. There’s at least 70 trucks there every night. I’ve put up flyers at flying j. Buy they keep disappearing. I got permission from the truck stop so I’m not sure who keeps taking them down. I’m thinking about putting flyers on the trucks

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1 hour ago, luke duke said:

You could offer special prices/free WiFi/handjobs to anyone with a fleet fuel card.

No, she can't. Unless she wants TABC all up in her shit.

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14 minutes ago, RPM said:

No, she can't. Unless she wants TABC all up in her shit.

True, she can only offer free wifi and handjobs.  No special pricing.

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I get about 5-6 truckers a week. My sign’s on the monument with all the other names in the plaza. Really can’t be seen by the truckers.  I’d like to figure out a way to get more of them. There’s at least 70 trucks there every night. I’ve put up flyers at flying j. Buy they keep disappearing. I got permission from the truck stop so I’m not sure who keeps taking them down. I’m thinking about putting flyers on the trucks

Don't put them on the trucks. Flyers on bathroom stalls and on the entrances would be seen the most. Maybe those small real estate signs at the parking lot entrances.

 

My buddy suggested a shuttle to the pickle park (rest area)

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54 minutes ago, shakahorn said:

True, she can only offer free wifi and handjobs.  No special pricing.

This

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So I met with tabc. And found out I had two extra violations. I was unaware of the extra violations. The officer was extremely plolite, helpful, and kind. I was amazed. He suspended two of the violations and gave me the lowest possible fine on the other two. My “sentence “  is either close down for 18 days or pay $5400. It could have been closed for 63 days or or a $19,000 fine.  So  feeling incredibly grateful and happy to write that check. They will also be doing bi-weekly stings to make sure I’m in compliance. Which they are required by law. And if they find any violations the suspended ones become real and I’m fucked. 

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