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Tears of joy and relief tonight.

FMLA and short term disability insurance approved. I'm damned good at my job when I'm sane, but the med cocktail that's been working for three years finally gave out under the combined strain of all the stresses of 2020. I won't cloak room it for you, or I'd likely trigger every damned reader in this room.

I will say, in the spirit of unity, GHW Bush pushed through the single most impactful piece of mental health legislation ever to impact our family, so I can forgive him for a half dozen banana republic fuck ups from his days at CIA in the 70s. On a day like today, we can all raise a Clonazepam to the President who quite probably saved my family this winter.. God bless you, you randy old bastard.

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On 1/28/2021 at 11:56 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Tears of joy and relief tonight.

FMLA and short term disability insurance approved. I'm damned good at my job when I'm sane, but the med cocktail that's been working for three years finally gave out under the combined strain of all the stresses of 2020. I won't cloak room it for you, or I'd likely trigger every damned reader in this room.

I will say, in the spirit of unity, GHW Bush pushed through the single most impactful piece of mental health legislation ever to impact our family, so I can forgive him for a half dozen banana republic fuck ups from his days at CIA in the 70s. On a day like today, we can all raise a Clonazepam to the President who quite probably saved my family this winter.. God bless you, you randy old bastard.

What’s FMLA?

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I want to lead by saying The Surl/The Shag is the best group of assholes around, you have all kept me positive for years. That said, depression sucks. I think we all suffer from depression on some level. I'm a quiet type who absorbs everything vs making issues public, bottle it up in hopes it either passes or you can rectify in the future.

It sucks to constantly shoot yourself in the foot.

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New to the thread. Y'all are awesome for supporting fellow surlers going through a rough patch. I have not read the whole thread. I'm wondering -- whether in this thread or somewhere else -- if anyone has good Austin recs for counseling? Relationship issues, depression, anxiety, etc. Thanks in advance.

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45 minutes ago, texastough said:

New to the thread. Y'all are awesome for supporting fellow surlers going through a rough patch. I have not read the whole thread. I'm wondering -- whether in this thread or somewhere else -- if anyone has good Austin recs for counseling? Relationship issues, depression, anxiety, etc. Thanks in advance.

@KYHornis a marital/family counselor.  I believe he is out of state, but has been tagged for this before and maybe knows a couple.

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1 hour ago, texastough said:

New to the thread. Y'all are awesome for supporting fellow surlers going through a rough patch. I have not read the whole thread. I'm wondering -- whether in this thread or somewhere else -- if anyone has good Austin recs for counseling? Relationship issues, depression, anxiety, etc. Thanks in advance.

 

26 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

@KYHornis a marital/family counselor.  I believe he is out of state, but has been tagged for this before and maybe knows a couple.

I still know of a few in the Austin area and will PM you later today. They're are essentially unlimited options in Austin, which makes it difficultto know where to even start,  but also means if you have specific preferences/ requirements, you can probably find someone. PsychologyToday.com is a great place to start, as is asking people you know for recommendations, though I know that isn't always feasible

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New to the thread. Y'all are awesome for supporting fellow surlers going through a rough patch. I have not read the whole thread. I'm wondering -- whether in this thread or somewhere else -- if anyone has good Austin recs for counseling? Relationship issues, depression, anxiety, etc. Thanks in advance.

After contacting a few like from Psychology today and checking on accepted insurance etc...

Don’t feel like you have to be committed to getting help from the first therapist you meet.
Sometimes it takes a few to find one you feel comfortable working with. Or a few sessions to get going.
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1 hour ago, YChang said:


After contacting a few like from Psychology today and checking on accepted insurance etc...

Don’t feel like you have to be committed to getting help from the first therapist you meet.
Sometimes it takes a few to find one you feel comfortable working with. Or a few sessions to get going.

Right. Having a therapist you trust and have a strong rapport with is one of the best predictors of success. That's partly why asking others for recommendations is valuable. You already have a sense that the therapist is trustworthy and competent. 

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16 hours ago, KYHorn said:

 

I still know of a few in the Austin area and will PM you later today. They're are essentially unlimited options in Austin, which makes it difficultto know where to even start,  but also means if you have specific preferences/ requirements, you can probably find someone. PsychologyToday.com is a great place to start, as is asking people you know for recommendations, though I know that isn't always feasible

If you were the person I saw with my ex gf like 7 years ago I apologize.  I went in a room she talked for like 20 min about normal petty stuff.  I got a chance to talk finally and told everything truthfully and calmly about the real issues, how she was a raging alcoholic and I in normal voice stated the issues that happened from that and stating dates for everything and facts, some were very extreme.  She went crazy yelling and Im quite  and I was asked to leave the room.  More yelling and crying from across the hall for 15 minutes then I’m let back in. Tdl if you know the girl has mental issues bad and you see the signs early and she does really hard to try to hide her drinking ,no matter how good the pussy is run.   That one fucks me up still cause if not for her drinking or when she was crazy she was amazing.  Don’t ever think you can fix people cause you can’t, right?

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my all time favorite therapy moment was with my ex when her therapist said to my ex, "I didn't hear her say that" and "that's not what she said" and "you're making that up" and "you're telling yourself stories to protect yourself from someone she isn't" ... that was the first and last joint session we had with her therapist.  anyway, I've got a good one now for me but I was her last fill or I'd recommend her.

 

I think when picking a therapist a good fit is important, but the question is what makes a good fit?  I think trust takes time and they all are trained to listen, the question for me is two fold - do they engage with me with added interest in my life such that the extra compassion beyond professional norms is possible.  I want a real connection, I want them to like me, not just see me as a client.  As a lawyer I have clients I like and ones I don't and ones I tolerate.  the ones I don't like rarely last, the ones I like have been clients for years and the ones I tolerate last for a while.  This takes time, but not as much as you think.  If you pay attention to behavior you can pick up whether a therapist is intrigued and likes you pretty quickly.  don't be afraid to say you need to move on. 

 

The second part is therapeutic modalities - you need to know what type of therapies work for you or what you want to try.  I used to demand the gestalt type therapies - putting the person I need to work on issue with in the chair and talk to them.  internal systems of critical parent, child, and the core self, redecisional therapies too which use both of those to re-decide critical decisions from our earliest memories that no longer work.  today I like body awareness and connection work.  If I can tell you what my body feels with specificity in connection with an emotion then I can physically release the trauma built up. I'm a big proponent on past trauma guiding my decisions now and I want to work through that.  fight, flight or freeze strategies and unlock that old trauma and process through it.  color / light therapy really can help on that I'm finding.  I found my therapist on psychology today that way and made it clear no chair talk and that I wanted the color / light therapy, body sensation work, and trauma work.  I connected with her, she's a granola girl, kinda my type these days, strong, not unattractive but not so attractive it's distracting.  really a perfect fit thus far.  and now while it's an artificially created intimate relationship, I work on developing the trust and intimacy I require to be able to change.

 

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3 hours ago, troph said:

my all time favorite therapy moment was with my ex when her therapist said to my ex, "I didn't hear her say that" and "that's not what she said" and "you're making that up" and "you're telling yourself stories to protect yourself from someone she isn't" ... that was the first and last joint session we had with her therapist.  anyway, I've got a good one now for me but I was her last fill or I'd recommend her.

Yeah, it's difficult, and usually not recommended, to make a transition from individual to couple, when one spouse was previously or currently an individual client. Building trust with the spouse you haven't been meeting with, without losing the trust of the original client, is a major hurdle. 

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This thread is a wealth of information for anyone who takes the time to read it. There are so many great posts that can help people to sort through life. I think it is great to know that if you need to reach out to someone that that can happen here. Our world needs more of the kindness and help offered to our fellow human beings that we get from here.

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10 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

"You are not alone" is the most important thing we can tell one another.

I agree wholeheartedly. Often when I go to the store I ask the cashier who they are doing and I regularly get the auto-pilot answer of good. I asked a woman about a month ago who gave that answer if she was really having a good day or was it just what she is used to saying. She then was honest with me and that it was not all good, but she was glad someone actually cared how she was doing. Her entire demeanor changed.

Our words and actions have the ability to change someone’s day. I feel that if you reach out to at least a couple or three people a week and just genuinely ask how they are doing that you have the chance to bring some positivity into their lives. You’ll feel good on the inside when you brighten someone’s day who was not expecting it.

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19 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

 

That's my dad right down to a T; and it got significantly worse when he retired.  Skipped Christmas because, "I don't wanna give it to they kids (<10 years old)."  My aunt passed away yesterday and he called my sister.  "Tell your siblings she passed away."  Didn't even wanna call the rest of us.  I'm curious how long until he does.  We 4 siblings are all over the map.  Some are, "Sucks, but you can't fix it.  You can't fix what you didn't break."  Others are fretting over it to the point it's affecting their own mental health.

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On 2/1/2021 at 1:33 PM, KYHorn said:

Yeah, it's difficult, and usually not recommended, to make a transition from individual to couple, when one spouse was previously or currently an individual client. Building trust with the spouse you haven't been meeting with, without losing the trust of the original client, is a major hurdle. 

I could say a lot here I think her curiosity about me and what I was going through got the best of her.  And with tremendous compassion for my ex - I’ve been the one to see more clearly and she’s the one with elaborate stories and denial/memory loss mechanisms.  Doesn’t mean I’m right but it does mean I do a decent job seeing both sides when it’s clear that’s what I’m supposed to do. So her curiosity plus that dynamic made for an ill advised session. Though it did hasten our end.  I had a lot of reason to do anything and everything to give her all the latitude she wanted but I was not going to be cornered into the mom issue role to be brow beaten for the rest of my adult life.

but what’s really lost here is the second and third paragraphs about how to pick a therapist.  Knowing what kind of therapy you need is really important too. 

Edited by troph
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Just finished my dry January. Man I tell you alcohol is poison.  It may be psychologically really bad for some, but it’s physiologically bad for all of us, with the exception of a glass of wine here or there on occasion.  Brain fog, hijacking of the neuro-chemical system, reduced sleep quality, fatigue, emotional turmoil, and toxicity on the liver were all my symptoms (well my liver functions fine right now). Never thought I’d get to this point but it’s a net negative for me on a daily basis.  I’d rather eat well, get some exercise in and have a productive day than unwind with 2-3 beers after I find myself out of balance and out of whack. Anyway, the development and my replacement approach is my mental health elixir so this seems like the thread for the thought. 

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48 minutes ago, troph said:

Just finished my dry January. Man I tell you alcohol is poison.  It may be psychologically really bad for some, but it’s physiologically bad for all of us, with the exception of a glass of wine here or there on occasion.  Brain fog, hijacking of the neuro-chemical system, reduced sleep quality, fatigue, emotional turmoil, and toxicity on the liver were all my symptoms (well my liver functions fine right now). Never thought I’d get to this point but it’s a net negative for me on a daily basis.  I’d rather eat well, get some exercise in and have a productive day than unwind with 2-3 beers after I find myself out of balance and out of whack. Anyway, the development and my replacement approach is my mental health elixir so this seems like the thread for the thought. 

Certainly is when you drink it by the tank car load.  I'd like to say it's not too bad in moderation, but my ability to moderate came and went so fast it can't even be remembered.

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16 hours ago, UpperWestside said:

I agree wholeheartedly. Often when I go to the store I ask the cashier who they are doing and I regularly get the auto-pilot answer of good. I asked a woman about a month ago who gave that answer if she was really having a good day or was it just what she is used to saying. She then was honest with me and that it was not all good, but she was glad someone actually cared how she was doing. Her entire demeanor changed.

Our words and actions have the ability to change someone’s day. I feel that if you reach out to at least a couple or three people a week and just genuinely ask how they are doing that you have the chance to bring some positivity into their lives. You’ll feel good on the inside when you brighten someone’s day who was not expecting it.

I stopped letting my colleagues and clients that I have a real relationship get away with that in 2020.  COVID and all, I called bullshit, lead by example and told them how hard it was then asked them how they were handling it and managing.  We are so conditioned to hide and put up a facade.  That stuff back fires.  Anyway, I think most everyone appreciated it and most shared.  I'm sure someone thought I was noseyAF.  I wasn't, I just care enough to want to be good to the people I know and this year it seems being together meant a lot more than in the past. 

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I don't always remember to do it... but instead of the perfunctory "How's it going" when I see a friend or close colleague in a meeting at work.. instead I ask what's one good thing that's happened for them so far in the day. 

Cause I don't know... after awhile it gets old hearing "meh... I'm ok." 

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4 hours ago, troph said:

I stopped letting my colleagues and clients that I have a real relationship get away with that in 2020.  COVID and all, I called bullshit, lead by example and told them how hard it was then asked them how they were handling it and managing.  We are so conditioned to hide and put up a facade.  That stuff back fires.  Anyway, I think most everyone appreciated it and most shared.  I'm sure someone thought I was noseyAF.  I wasn't, I just care enough to want to be good to the people I know and this year it seems being together meant a lot more than in the past. 

I directly supervise about 15 or so people at work and it's a little tricky - I don't want to seem too nosey and get into trouble with our HR department but I also want to make sure none of my people are on the verge of a breakdown...or worse.  So usually when I meet with my supervisees individually I'll query generally about their personal life (e.g., "everything Ok at the house?" or just a general "you happy here?") without getting too personal...unless their answer rings alarm bells.

A few years ago, one of the other supervisors in my company submitted discipline on one of his supervisees - I think it was a reprimand or something and I'm told the lady accepted her discipline as well as can be expected - no ranting or tears.  everything seemed fine.  So the lady who accepted the discipline drove to a bridge, parked her car, walked to the edge, and jumped.  The police found the discipline letter in the front seat of her car.

It's just a good reminder that there are probably an enormous number of people out there (and many who you may know personally) are "right on the edge" and emotionally fra-gee-lay (I think it's French).  So be kind and try to give a damn to others - you may just make a huge difference or even save a life.

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12 hours ago, Message Board User said:

I directly supervise about 15 or so people at work and it's a little tricky - I don't want to seem too nosey and get into trouble with our HR department but I also want to make sure none of my people are on the verge of a breakdown...or worse.  So usually when I meet with my supervisees individually I'll query generally about their personal life (e.g., "everything Ok at the house?" or just a general "you happy here?") without getting too personal...unless their answer rings alarm bells.

A few years ago, one of the other supervisors in my company submitted discipline on one of his supervisees - I think it was a reprimand or something and I'm told the lady accepted her discipline as well as can be expected - no ranting or tears.  everything seemed fine.  So the lady who accepted the discipline drove to a bridge, parked her car, walked to the edge, and jumped.  The police found the discipline letter in the front seat of her car.

It's just a good reminder that there are probably an enormous number of people out there (and many who you may know personally) are "right on the edge" and emotionally fra-gee-lay (I think it's French).  So be kind and try to give a damn to others - you may just make a huge difference or even save a life.

Our words can heal or hurt. My resolution this year is to try to use my words for "good" and encouragement. Especially places like here (Surly). It's easy to make a snarky comment and call someone an asshole for their opinion. Social media is a cancer and I'm not spreading it anymore. No more doom scrolling. No more Cloak Room. I'm just going to post memes and/or honest thoughts without (hopefully) hurting anyone. 

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17 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Our words can heal or hurt. My resolution this year is to try to use my words for "good" and encouragement. Especially places like here (Surly). It's easy to make a snarky comment and call someone an asshole for their opinion. Social media is a cancer and I'm not spreading it anymore. No more doom scrolling. No more Cloak Room. I'm just going to post memes and/or honest thoughts without (hopefully) hurting anyone. 

I quit Facebook too.  Talk about a cancer.  

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2 hours ago, troph said:

I quit Facebook too.  Talk about a cancer.  

I should, but I have too many professional reasons to stay.  Unfortunately, that's like saying "I only drink Coca cola for the caffeine kick."  Excuses to myself.  That, & apparently it's my life's mission to rage politics @ people I've never actually met.

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Ok.

So, I'm not an alcoholic.  But if I want to sleep,  I usually need to drink.  My tolerance is getting fucking out of hand,  really,  but if I don't drink  i usually only get 3 or 4 hours. 

I do probably have some ptsd considering my history, but I mostly have insomnia.  Sometimes I wake up from nightmares and can't get back to sleep.... most of the time, like right now,  I just can't get to sleep.  

I have a history of sleepwalking,  so I'm probably not a good candidate for ambien... and zzz quill and other otc are no help at all. 

Anyone else?

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On 1/28/2021 at 11:56 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Tears of joy and relief tonight.

FMLA and short term disability insurance approved. I'm damned good at my job when I'm sane, but the med cocktail that's been working for three years finally gave out under the combined strain of all the stresses of 2020. I won't cloak room it for you, or I'd likely trigger every damned reader in this room.

I will say, in the spirit of unity, GHW Bush pushed through the single most impactful piece of mental health legislation ever to impact our family, so I can forgive him for a half dozen banana republic fuck ups from his days at CIA in the 70s. On a day like today, we can all raise a Clonazepam to the President who quite probably saved my family this winter.. God bless you, you randy old bastard.

how long from initial request? I'm at 9 months since i filed , initially declined but everybody says the first one in always declined

post stroke... btw FINALLY  got into therapy 2 week ago

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 initially declined but everybody says the first one in always declined
post stroke... btw FINALLY  got into therapy 2 week ago
That's what I've heard as well; supposed to weed out the fakers.
My 1st wife was an applicant before we got engaged & then "got a lawyer" (parents, & I don't recall who or how they connected... knowing them, it could been someone off the teevee)... the ship turns slowly on this & nothing happened for something like a year, maybe 9 months.
Then she gets on dialysis & *bingo* approved.  The lawyer's office sends a letter asking for their 1/3 of the money that was lump sum sent out.  Told them to fuck off & they sent back a phat mailer with every record that had ever been turned over to them with nothing else attached, no letter, nothing.


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5 minutes ago, LABEVO said:

This fucking storm broke me. I may move back to LA after this.

Don’t blame you. I’ve had power the whole time and I’m on edge. Told my gf last night I’m about to break. Coming up on 1 year of this nonsense. Just done.  

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38 minutes ago, troph said:

Don’t blame you. I’ve had power the whole time and I’m on edge. Told my gf last night I’m about to break. Coming up on 1 year of this nonsense. Just done.  

The significant other and I are are super low key and rarely get mad but this past year we keep snapping in rage over the dumbest shit. we always reset and make amends but damn if this year hasn't frayed our ability to cope 

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1 minute ago, LABEVO said:

Both the significant other and are are super low key and rarely get mad but this past year we keep snapping in rage over the dumbest shit. we always reset and make amends but damn if this year hasn't frayed our ability to cope 

Yeah I don’t like being around my SO 24/7 it takes the mystery and intrigue away. I love difficult women and love the chase and novelty while also having a deep sustaining connection.  We’ve done fine even great by some people’s standards but it’s not my beautiful life.  I don’t have space, I don’t have someone to come home to, I know when she takes a crap, I hear all the mouth noises, live most of my day with headphones on until the end of the day, neither of us look our date night hottest ever, she’s been a rockstar trying to keep romance going but it’s just crowded and I don’t like crowded. I could keep bitching it’s all small stuff but it’s small stuff day in and day out unrelenting with no break.  And we have power nonstop so does my elderly mom and others.  Tried to help anyone I could this week, told anyone and everyone to come over, as a way to cope with my good fortune and my struggles.  It helped some. I’m thankful and don’t want to sound like I’m complaining but I really need my rhythms back.  I really need existential crisis to stop. We have people who really are facing life and death and the virus has been life or death for a year.  Fuck this shit. 

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Probably not. 🙂
 

The difference being I like difficult, many don’t. I have no complaints it’s part of the thrill figuring her out. Being all up in her business though makes it just difficult not mysterious and intriguing. Becomes a chore not a challenge. 

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Our words can heal or hurt. My resolution this year is to try to use my words for "good" and encouragement. Especially places like here (Surly). It's easy to make a snarky comment and call someone an asshole for their opinion. Social media is a cancer and I'm not spreading it anymore. No more doom scrolling. No more Cloak Room. I'm just going to post memes and/or honest thoughts without (hopefully) hurting anyone. 
Many of my friends are very upset right now with whatever political group they oppose. Saying lots of angry things to me, and presumably their family/friends of the opposite political bent. News flash; you don't bring folks to your side by being an ahole to them.

Just be the best person you can. Follow your beliefs the best you can. If your beliefs are TRULY right, you'll change minds. At the very worst you just won't be mad.

Also. I live in a State (North Dakota) that has very few Covid restrictions. And even with that, this particular winter is rough for us here. I simply cannot imagine what my mental health would be if I lived in a State with tight rules.

Thoughts and prayers to all affected. Get the vaccine as soon as you can, and convince others to do so as well. 2021 is gonna be awesome. It'll be exactly as awesome as we can make it.
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10 hours ago, Parliament said:

Many of my friends are very upset right now with whatever political group they oppose. Saying lots of angry things to me, and presumably their family/friends of the opposite political bent. News flash; you don't bring folks to your side by being an ahole to them.

Just be the best person you can. Follow your beliefs the best you can. If your beliefs are TRULY right, you'll change minds. At the very worst you just won't be mad.

Also. I live in a State (North Dakota) that has very few Covid restrictions. And even with that, this particular winter is rough for us here. I simply cannot imagine what my mental health would be if I lived in a State with tight rules.

Thoughts and prayers to all affected. Get the vaccine as soon as you can, and convince others to do so as well. 2021 is gonna be awesome. It'll be exactly as awesome as we can make it.

the only living boy in New York... Simon & Garfunkel...

Quote

"I get the news I need on the weather report
Oh, I can gather all the news I need on the weather report
Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile
De-doh-n-doh-de-doh
And here I am
The only living boy in New York"

been my anthem since Jan 20.  I've opted out of the political news.  now if I could only opt out of the weather news now too.

politics are rancid.  my existential threat is gone now, so I'm done with politics for a while.

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Just now, troph said:

I'd love to see some more venting here

I'm 

SO. FUCKING. TIRED.

Seem like all of the places that I go for a refuge (like here) have become rancid arguments over silly political things. This frozen mess is just the latest example. No one seems to care about helping each other/solving problems. They'd rather just score political points and dance in the endzone. 

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I feel you troph. I need some fucking space. I’ve always needed space. I can’t stand being crowded. This fucking pandemic/riot/insurrection/blizzard stay at home shit is driving me mad. Family enjoys talking about where we should go on vacation when all this is over. I keep thinking I need a vacation FROM y’all, not go somewhere with you. Fuck 

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