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Depression, OCD, and whatever else ails you between the ears

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16 hours ago, OWLVIS said:

I hate who I've become. Im angry ( and some friends admit I have the right to be, but its still no fun)  Mother is still a black-hearted  cunt, sister still  fighting cancer  And now I have to deal with my 3rd job loss in 4 years. 1.Contract ended 2 Unexpected Election results 3 Statewide project on Economic Development closing 2 years ahead of schedule.  Also 2 floods Tax-day and Harvey. Damage to the house and vehicle   And the Cat died. 

Everybody says just pick yourself up, brush yourself off and go on. But how many times can you do that? All the savings are gone, there is nothing left. And there are still unresolved issues with the house, I can no longer help my sister, I have nothing to offer and for the 3rd Holiday of the last 4 I'm unemployed and no one finds a job in Nov. Dec. and the lights may be turned off mid Dec.

I honestly believe that God means for me to fail, and I cant beat God, every night I pray that I die in the night, as I drive I look for that out of control 18 wheeler that hopefully will hit me.I wish there were a shooting spree that I could jump in the middle of and go out with some dignity

I dont plan on killing myself I wont give the assholes that have contributed to this situation the satisfaction And thats where the hate comes in.its all I have to keep me going but hate kills.

but not quick enough.

And thats where I am in life

That sucks, man. Sometimes life decides to kick your ass all at once. Not sure what to say other than hang in there. Every storm passes.

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16 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

start a go fund me or something, ill pitch in to help keep the lights on 

yes, people are willing to help. Finding those people is admittedly a challenge at times.

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23 hours ago, OWLVIS said:

1.Contract ended 2 Unexpected Election results 3 Statewide project on Economic Development closing 2 years ahead of schedule

And a partridge in a pear trrreeeeeee

Sorry it’s the first thing that came to mind when I read your post. If god is real I can guarantee you that he doesn’t want you to fail. That just doesn’t make sense no matter how you look at it. If you’re really at rock bottom, there might be some type of seasonal job or something out there to get you through the holidays. That could buy you some time until a whole brand new decade starts in 2 months. The prior 2 times you’ve lost your job you’ve found another one, is there any real reason it’d just be impossible to pull off a 3rd time? Maybe a move in cities could be a reboot that you need, although your sister having cancer could block that at this time I guess. Sorry that life is kicking you in the dick. It really sucks, and it’s cliche to say, but if you keep pushing through your fortunes will improve in some regard. That’s my experience with suicidal thoughts & depression anyway. I hope the best for you. 

 

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4 minutes ago, Helobious said:

And a partridge in a pear trrreeeeeee

Sorry it’s the first thing that came to mind when I read your post. If god is real I can guarantee you that he doesn’t want you to fail. That just doesn’t make sense no matter how you look at it. If you’re really at rock bottom, there might be some type of seasonal job or something out there to get you through the holidays. That could buy you some time until a whole brand new decade starts in 2 months. The prior 2 times you’ve lost your job you’ve found another one, is there any real reason it’d just be impossible to pull off a 3rd time? Maybe a move in cities could be a reboot that you need, although your sister having cancer could block that at this time I guess. Sorry that life is kicking you in the dick. It really sucks, and it’s cliche to say, but if you keep pushing through your fortunes will improve in some regard. That’s my experience with suicidal thoughts & depression anyway. I hope the best for you. 

 

Solid post.  This too shall pass.

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How much is an SSRI going to help me with the winter funk I get? It's not just a funk, it's pretty bad every year. Always has been and I've never tried anything, but it came on earlier and harder this year it seems. I've been exercising, getting some sun, eating decent. Usually those things help me some, but not this time. I'm going to my primary doctor next week just for a check up, so I thought I'd ask. 

This is pretty small scale compared to some of the shit you guys are in, but maybe it's the right place to ask. 

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Sometimes it’s your spouse that has the issues. She has severe OCD, depression, and anxiety. We have 4 kids. Youngest just turned 4.  I’m basically a single Dad with 5 kids trying to keep my head above water. I do all the cooking, laundry, house cleaning, and everything with the kids. All while trying to run our successful small business. 
 

She won’t let me hire help to come into the house because she’s embarrassed about the need for help. And she’s a compulsive spender that constantly puts pressure on me to make more than she spends. She just spent a week inpatient because of suicidal ideation with a plan last month. 
 

if I knew the state wouldn’t leave my kids with her I might be gone. But I can’t risk losing my kids to her when she is like this. So I get drunk after everyone goes to bed to watch the late college football games and convince myself it’s got to get better. 

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Damn. 

The drinking is worrisome. All it does is put a wall of fuzz around you. 

Have you talked to a pro about this? 

I've been so busy with work I sometimes barely get time to jabber on here. 

I'm no expert, but drinking away the feelings doesn't help. They are still there under the booze.

 

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11 hours ago, BBQ2Bayou said:

How much is an SSRI going to help me with the winter funk I get? It's not just a funk, it's pretty bad every year. Always has been and I've never tried anything, but it came on earlier and harder this year it seems. I've been exercising, getting some sun, eating decent. Usually those things help me some, but not this time. I'm going to my primary doctor next week just for a check up, so I thought I'd ask. 

This is pretty small scale compared to some of the shit you guys are in, but maybe it's the right place to ask. 

Do you live up north?

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Understood and agree about the drinking. It’s currently confined to occasional Saturday  nights when my “responsibilities” are done. But I’ll watch it. 
 

For some reason the good Lord blessed me with a great deal of patience for this kind of thing. She sees a psychologist weekly and a psychiatrist for med management monthly.  

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9 hours ago, 4HE said:

Sometimes it’s your spouse that has the issues. She has severe OCD, depression, and anxiety. We have 4 kids. Youngest just turned 4.  I’m basically a single Dad with 5 kids trying to keep my head above water. I do all the cooking, laundry, house cleaning, and everything with the kids. All while trying to run our successful small business. 
 

She won’t let me hire help to come into the house because she’s embarrassed about the need for help. And she’s a compulsive spender that constantly puts pressure on me to make more than she spends. She just spent a week inpatient because of suicidal ideation with a plan last month. 
 

if I knew the state wouldn’t leave my kids with her I might be gone. But I can’t risk losing my kids to her when she is like this. So I get drunk after everyone goes to bed to watch the late college football games and convince myself it’s got to get better. 

That’s rough. I’m on a similar boat. I have entertained the thought of just escaping from my family. At least you have a successful business. Mental health care fucking sucks. You basically have outpatient psychiatrists and therapists, and then you have inpatient hospitals that the only thing they will do is stabilize a person for a few days and then send them out again. Science probably understands like 1% of how the brain works. The last important breakthrough in mental health was SSRIs, and that was decades ago. The whole approach to treating a patient is throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. They don’t know what’s wrong with your brain, and they have no way of knowing. Try this serotonin blah blah blah...doctor, that made me more suicidal...oops...well then let’s try this dopamine blah blah blah. It’s all like that. Same thing when they treat ADHD.

Get away from alcohol. It’s poison.

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27 minutes ago, XYZ said:

Do you live up north?

I live in Austin. I grew up in the Midwest and the grey winters are a big reason I left 20 years ago, even though all my family is still there. It got really bad during the winter growing up, but I guess it just wasn't the kind of thing that was really addressed back then or I just kept it to myself. The sun helps a lot, but not nearly enough. I'm not sure why it's hit harder this year. I've got some personal shit going on with having trouble finding a job, so that's discouraging as fuck, but I've dealt with that before. Besides that, I'm in a pretty good way right now mentally. Or  at least was a month ago. 

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1 hour ago, 4HE said:

Understood and agree about the drinking. It’s currently confined to occasional Saturday  nights when my “responsibilities” are done. But I’ll watch it. 
 

For some reason the good Lord blessed me with a great deal of patience for this kind of thing. She sees a psychologist weekly and a psychiatrist for med management monthly.  

Not for her. You need to have somewhere to vent too. Maybe you don't need weekly or be on meds, but getting it off your chest in person to an impartial observer is beneficial. If you have to think of it in medical terms you wouldn't not go to the doctor if you were bleeding and needed stitches, why do that to yourself when it is in the gray matter? 

Not saying you can't vent here or see some benefits from it, but it would be worth the investment in time to go talk to somebody besides us,  the surly buncha assholes.

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St. John's Wort may be worth a try for those suffering from SAD or mild depression.

Also, worth bringing up.  In addition to the stresses of child-rearing, post-partum depression is a very real thing and it can turn pretty profound.  And in some cases, second or subsequent pregnancies can make it worse.  That is, what might have been "baby blues" after the first child can turn into real profound depression after another pregnancy.

I had an aunt that had my cousin, some pretty bad baby blues, recovered and had a second, and it was bad for the rest of her life.  Like ECT bad (both the "one flew" version and the more modern version).  It's something that probably gets dismissed too often.  They didn't know any better back then, but having a second child was probably a mistake from the standpoint of her mental health.

Edited by TwiceHorn

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You ever considered that maybe those people love you and would want to help and support you if they only knew your struggle?  I've found I'm only as sick as the secrets that I keep in my head, that sunlight is a great disinfectant.  The relief I've gotten from sharing my struggles is intense and immediate.

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I think I’m extremely stressed out. My kid is going through hell at school and now the administration and his general education teacher have turned against him.

My son is in special education for emotional disturbance. He has an IQ of 130 and social scores that put him in the 2%. He is super rigid (96% score), so any changes send him in to a heightened level of anxiety. He’s been assaulted by his special education teacher (fucker left bruises on my sons inner biceps), insulted by this guy, called names by this guy and has had maybe 10 hours of education this whole year in his special education class room.

That teacher is gone. My sons teacher from last year has been moved to this campus. My son was upset on Thursday. A teacher tried to be funny and called him a book character name which my son took as an insult. He called her a bitch. She took offense and said he was so sad, which was the second insult to him in under a minute. He flipped her off and called her a bitch again. All they see is his reaction and have no clue that they instigated and escalated a kid that is learning social cues.

So, my kid is the bad kid. They think he’s violent because he hit... he hits when someone puts their hands on him. What they miss is that he’s reacting in self defense because he was assaulted by his teacher multiple times this year.

FUCK!!!! We were fine last year. We were doing well and the district moved my son to this new unit. The principal told another parent she doesn’t want any of these kids on her campus (there are 6). We have these people by the balls. They failed to implement my sons behavior plan all year. They let him melt down and scream for an hour and a half when it was in his plan to call me if he’s having issues for longer than 7 minutes.

Please tell your kids that there are kids that need help. As parents, please don’t assume that parents aren’t doing everything they can to help their kid to not disrupt your kids day.

This sucks. I needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

TLDR: son is super smart, in special ed for having emotional issues and is being hated on and I’m stressed the fuck out

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2 hours ago, Goofyboy said:

I think I’m extremely stressed out. My kid is going through hell at school and now the administration and his general education teacher have turned against him.

My son is in special education for emotional disturbance. He has an IQ of 130 and social scores that put him in the 2%. He is super rigid (96% score), so any changes send him in to a heightened level of anxiety. He’s been assaulted by his special education teacher (fucker left bruises on my sons inner biceps), insulted by this guy, called names by this guy and has had maybe 10 hours of education this whole year in his special education class room.

That teacher is gone. My sons teacher from last year has been moved to this campus. My son was upset on Thursday. A teacher tried to be funny and called him a book character name which my son took as an insult. He called her a bitch. She took offense and said he was so sad, which was the second insult to him in under a minute. He flipped her off and called her a bitch again. All they see is his reaction and have no clue that they instigated and escalated a kid that is learning social cues.

So, my kid is the bad kid. They think he’s violent because he hit... he hits when someone puts their hands on him. What they miss is that he’s reacting in self defense because he was assaulted by his teacher multiple times this year.

FUCK!!!! We were fine last year. We were doing well and the district moved my son to this new unit. The principal told another parent she doesn’t want any of these kids on her campus (there are 6). We have these people by the balls. They failed to implement my sons behavior plan all year. They let him melt down and scream for an hour and a half when it was in his plan to call me if he’s having issues for longer than 7 minutes.

Please tell your kids that there are kids that need help. As parents, please don’t assume that parents aren’t doing everything they can to help their kid to not disrupt your kids day.

This sucks. I needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

TLDR: son is super smart, in special ed for having emotional issues and is being hated on and I’m stressed the fuck out

Sorry to hear that. We are pulling for you and your son.

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You know, you fuckers coming here and sharing about your struggles through life makes me feel less shitty. So, thank you for that.

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You know, you fuckers coming here and sharing about your struggles through life makes me feel less shitty. So, thank you for that.


Perspective is a hell of a thing. My sons friend is worse off that my son. His buddy has out bursts due to epilepsy. He blanks out and a deck will get thrown across the room and then he falls asleep for 20 minutes. He’s also been labeled as a bad kid. I have the means to hire an advocate (which we have) or an attorney later if we decide to go that route (due process). There are a lot of families that can’t do that and are fucked by the district and the schools.

That’s why I ask for parents to not assume that the bad kid isn’t being parented. There are those of us working our asses off and being fucked by a terrible teacher or administration. We are trying and we do (at least my wife and I) take other kids into consideration when making decisions about our son.

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On 11/25/2019 at 8:02 PM, Goofyboy said:

I think I’m extremely stressed out. My kid is going through hell at school and now the administration and his general education teacher have turned against him.

My son is in special education for emotional disturbance. He has an IQ of 130 and social scores that put him in the 2%. He is super rigid (96% score), so any changes send him in to a heightened level of anxiety. He’s been assaulted by his special education teacher (fucker left bruises on my sons inner biceps), insulted by this guy, called names by this guy and has had maybe 10 hours of education this whole year in his special education class room.

That teacher is gone. My sons teacher from last year has been moved to this campus. My son was upset on Thursday. A teacher tried to be funny and called him a book character name which my son took as an insult. He called her a bitch. She took offense and said he was so sad, which was the second insult to him in under a minute. He flipped her off and called her a bitch again. All they see is his reaction and have no clue that they instigated and escalated a kid that is learning social cues.

So, my kid is the bad kid. They think he’s violent because he hit... he hits when someone puts their hands on him. What they miss is that he’s reacting in self defense because he was assaulted by his teacher multiple times this year.

FUCK!!!! We were fine last year. We were doing well and the district moved my son to this new unit. The principal told another parent she doesn’t want any of these kids on her campus (there are 6). We have these people by the balls. They failed to implement my sons behavior plan all year. They let him melt down and scream for an hour and a half when it was in his plan to call me if he’s having issues for longer than 7 minutes.

Please tell your kids that there are kids that need help. As parents, please don’t assume that parents aren’t doing everything they can to help their kid to not disrupt your kids day.

This sucks. I needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

TLDR: son is super smart, in special ed for having emotional issues and is being hated on and I’m stressed the fuck out

Does that school ever bring in mental health care experts to talk about these issues with the teachers and staff? More schools are beginning to embrace that ... to educate the next line of caring and defense, our teachers.

I am talking at two schools in Collin County after the first of the year about mental health and specifically eating disorders. There are A LOT of experts out there who would step to the plate and help put together a program.

Just thinking out loud here.

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Does that school ever bring in mental health care experts to talk about these issues with the teachers and staff? More schools are beginning to embrace that ... to educate the next line of caring and defense, our teachers.
I am talking at two schools in Collin County after the first of the year about mental health and specifically eating disorders. There are A LOT of experts out there who would step to the plate and help put together a program.
Just thinking out loud here.


A BCBA is moving on campus for a week starting December 9. She will be there for the next faculty meeting, which the Principal has now made all faculty attend. The district is now hyper involved in this campus because of the complete shit show that has happened. The only reason we aren’t in court is my sons teacher is amazing. She’s truly a godsend.

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Gents, if anyone is interested, tomorrow (Tuesday, Dec. 3) we have a counselor in the DFW area who is going to be talking about anxiety, stress and fear during the Holiday Season.

8:30 a.m. through 9:00 a.m. on DFW local radio station 1160 AM, or bigdtalk.com, or you can watch it live on Facebook Live at JP, Kathy & "the Crew."

In two weeks, on December 17, we have another therapist on talking about Depression during the Holidays. 

Each show will be offering tips and advice (and you can call in, or type your questions in on Facebook) as well as resources.

I was able to start this radio show, The Mental Health Moment, because of some incredible people who just want to help. In some ways, this little two bit radio show for me is very cathartic... it addresses my own issues in a way that I feel I am helping others in my daughter's name. In that way... it doesn't hurt as much.

 

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Anxiety alert:  Well I’ve always had a phobia about being in tall buildings.  Sometimes it’s worse than others.

Well tomorrow I have a meeting on the 45th floor, and I’m already getting a little amped about it, ugh.
Any tricks or things to relieve the anxiety a bit?

Thanks in advance.

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My father has issues with tall buildings. As simple as it sounds, don’t look down. Also, practice your calming techniques (what ever ones have worked in the past) this evening while you’re on the ground. Good luck.

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Anxiety alert:  Well I’ve always had a phobia about being in tall buildings.  Sometimes it’s worse than others.
Well tomorrow I have a meeting on the 45th floor, and I’m already getting a little amped about it, ugh.
Any tricks or things to relieve the anxiety a bit?
Thanks in advance.
Smoke a bowl.

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21 hours ago, Rip76 said:

Anxiety alert:  Well I’ve always had a phobia about being in tall buildings.  Sometimes it’s worse than others.

Well tomorrow I have a meeting on the 45th floor, and I’m already getting a little amped about it, ugh.
Any tricks or things to relieve the anxiety a bit?

Thanks in advance.

Well? Did you go to the 45th floor?

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2 hours ago, XYZ said:

Well? Did you go to the 45th floor?

Actually not bad at all.  Just left.

Long deposition.  Don’t know how well that went.

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