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United/Mourinho's Farewell Tour


Dertyberd

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I didn't see a United thread.  Only a few talking points ahead of what will most likely be another boring campaign with equally boring football.  I'm ready for the Mourinho era to end hopefully sooner than later.  It would be nice to have someone at the club with a vision, instead of trying to sign older players.  United have always produced great talent, but there is no future for the young players under a cunt like Mo.  Hope is gone soon.  There is no vision for the club at the moment. 

What to look forward to...

New signings? Wow...Fred!  Not much going on there. Could be a good one, but I really have no clue.  Lackluster offseason to say the least.

Noting else really to look forward to.  I see more defensive football and nothing that looks like United style of going for it.  I don't have a lot of hope for the season.  Hopefully a top 4 and maybe a run in the Champions League.  We are a distant 2nd tier behind City.  Liverpool got better.  Don't know what the fuck is going on a Chelsea.  Tottenham should be better now the young ones have a year under their belt.  Arsenal are a wild card.

 We could honestly finish out of the top four is we have a poor start to the league.  I pray that Lukaku has learned to finish for the club, but who the hell knows.  If Pogba doesn't have his shit together by the Christmas break, please sell his ass.  Tired of watching him out of place.  If he's not running free on long runs, he's wasted.  

After all that being said....

U N I T E D! United are the team for me!  Can't wait for the fucking thing to get going.  Come on United!!!

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The thread title says what everyone is thinking. It also makes one wonder who would want him after this stop. His price is probably insanely high, but the only clubs who could pay that don't want someone who comes in and tears apart the club. It seems that Mourinho has become more poison than chosen.

He'll probably take a season or two off and allow everyone to forget about his M.O.

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15 hours ago, Napoleon said:

The thread title says what everyone is thinking. It also makes one wonder who would want him after this stop. His price is probably insanely high, but the only clubs who could pay that don't want someone who comes in and tears apart the club. It seems that Mourinho has become more poison than chosen.

He'll probably take a season or two off and allow everyone to forget about his M.O.

He could go back to Italy at any time if he wanted.  His style and player preference are suited perfectly for Serie A.  I don't know what other big club would want him as the game is on a swing towards more open play (thank God).  If I were PSG I would think about hiring him, tons of cash and desperate for a Champions League.  You can play shit football and still when Ligue 1, their owners just want the respect that comes with a CL victory.  Most important is that Mo is gone.  He's special for being an asshole and parking the bus, that's about it.

 

This squad has plenty of attacking talent to be very good, but still lacks a midfield playmaker (come on Fred) and solid leadership in the back.  Smalling has never been the man nor will be.  Valencia and Young are up there in years and Lindelof is the worst signing in years.  It's hard to win on a defensive philosophy when your D sucks.  Anything can happen during a season and we could ugly our way to a lucky title, but I don't see it happening.  I see more unhappiness and frustration in the squad with Mo throwing gas on the fire and throwing temper tantrums.  Getting Pochettino would've been brilliant, but that didn't happen did it.  Another season of pain for us.  

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I love Valencia, he is the man, don't get me wrong.  My point is how long can he continue to play the minutes he does and still be effective.  Mo has killed Luke Shaw, but brought in shit with Lindeloff (I don't care how its spelled, he sucks), and doesn't know how to build talent.  Home grown talent mixed with big purchases are the hallmark of United and Mo really doesn't care to continue that culture.  He wants "professionals" he can just plug and play his boring football.  He was never a good fit and can't wait for this era to be over.  I understand he brought some standing in the transfer market after VanGaal, but it was always going to be short term. Leave that revolving door shit for smaller clubs, this is United. 

Evra's years of passion and great play are the only thing that has almost allowed me to forgive him for his Champions League debacles against Barca.  He was awful in those two finals.  

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Ha!  I wish I was that clever.  I'm all in though.  If any fanbase could do it, it would be United.  

The forming F.C. United of Manchester is still one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed in professional sports.  I hate that the Glazer cunts own United, but such are the times.  For the most part, all of the big clubs now have shit ownership, but it beats a sheik or a dirty Russian. Hehe.  

If we have a slow start to the campaign it will get ugly fast.....and Jose will blame the players and lack of transfers.  I love his cockiness, but his lack of willingness to take responsibility for anything is insufferable.  I hope money starts pouring in.  

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Come on United!  I pray to the football Gods that Fred is worth shit, Pogba keeps his value to sell next year, and we find a defense somehow. Thats all I ask today.  

 

Greatest day of the year.  Fuck Friday matches they shouldn't ever happen, but whatever, United are on.  

 

The pride of all England, the cock of the North!

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Same shit different year.  Pogba is lost and lazy.  Lukaku can't finish his chances.  Alexis kill attacks going forward by taking the ball into the middle every damn time.  Our defending is atrocious.  

De Gea is our lord and savior.  God bless the Spaniard and Real Madrid for choosing the wrong keeper to buy.  Fred looks like he could be a spark, but I am weary of getting too excited. Mika looked like a genius at the beginning of last year.  Happy for Shaw to get a goal, but he had a 10 minute spell that should have cost us. 

2-0 is great for the points but it should've been 1-1 draw or worse.  We have all the talent in the world, but we do not look like United.  This season will be another grind.  I might as well just start watching mid table Serie A matches and fall asleep in the middle (Forza Grifone! Genoa Genoa Genoa!).  Fuck me.  

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Zidane eyes Man United job

1 hour ago 18:19

French boss wants to replace Mourinho

After leaving Real Madrid at the end of last season, Zinedine Zidane has his eyes on a job in England, according to L'Equipe. 
L'Equipe link:  https://www.lequipe.fr/Football/Article/Zidane-l-angleterre-dans-sa-manche/930769 & L'Equipe Photo

b777a.jpg

 

The French manager had his eye on coaching his country, but with Didier Deschamps having won the World Cup, Zidane has now turned his attention to Manchester United, where he would like to take over for Jose Mourinho. 

http://www.goal.com/en/news/live/transfer-news-and-rumours-live-barcelona-told-price-for/16ctjhnmeo23c1vb47e7rguqr4

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He's a great man manager and that is fine for short term, but that is not what United need right now.  United are desperate for a guy who will come with a long term strategy.  United and Barca are the only really big clubs that thrive off of home grown player development with big name additions.  It's their identity.  The turnover we're going through has to stop.  Neville spoke about in the podcast I posted and he's spot on.  If we go the way of Madrid or City, turning over teams every 4 or so years, we're fucked.  Sure we can buy some titles, but that isn't who United are nor is accepted by the supporters.  It's now or never to right the ship and only someone young like Pochettino or an unknown British guy are the way forward.  

 

There will be pain going forward with a rebuild, but better take the pain now for the sake of the club than be another Sheik/Rooskie/Chinese outfit.  We're fucking United.  

Edited by Dertyberd
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Anyone see this news about the dust up with Pogba?

http://www.skysports.com/football/news/11667/11473843/manchester-united-rubbish-paul-pogba-jose-mourinho-rift-reports

United's PR team is denying it.  And now United is blocking Pogba's transfer:

https://metro.co.uk/2018/08/16/manchester-united-make-paul-pogba-transfer-decision-stunning-jose-mourinho-bust-7847371/

 Potential sacking of Mourinho sacking in the works?

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I expect United to sack Mou and hire Zidane during the first international break (September 3).  Immediately resolves the Pogba and Martial issues, improves the style of play and eliminates the negativity.  

Mourinho is his own worst enemy and lost his leverage once France won the World Cup.

 

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12 hours ago, alincoln said:

I expect United to sack Mou and hire Zidane during the first international break (September 3).  Immediately resolves the Pogba and Martial issues, improves the style of play and eliminates the negativity.  

Mourinho is his own worst enemy and lost his leverage once France won the World Cup.

 

alincoln appears to be wildly unpopular.

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On 8/19/2018 at 9:51 PM, WBT said:

Fired yet?

 

2 hours ago, CowboyFred said:

Shouldn’t be long now...

team playing like absolute trash 


I feel that the EPL is always better when ManU is at, or near, the top of the league. 

Whether you hate them, love them, or just know that you should be watching if they're on TV, having a good ManU team is good for business.

Like the Yankees in baseball (I hate them), the Cowboys in the NFL (they're my team), and the Lakers in basketball (I hate them). If ManU is floundering, then it seems like there is something wrong with English football.

I used to like Mourinho when he was with Inter, but tired of him in Madrid, and have pulled for him to lose and be ignored since Madrid. I understand that journalists need to write stories that get clicks, but how I wish that Mourinho would be ignored until he was fired... and then ignored after that.

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I've been lucky enough to be on vacation without the ability to watch any matches.  I picked the right time to be out of touch with the world.  Fuck Mo, I can't wait to watch his press conferences.  I can only assume they've been very helpful for player moral and team building.  

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Can't argue with the piece.  Both share responsibility, both deserve to GTFO.

After a well timed two week reprieve from having to watch the team I love, I watched Sunday.  I was telling my friend during that match that nothing in this world is more frustrating than to have your club be a fucking chore to watch.   So much talent (as shown by that Alexis assist to Lukaku) and such a shit product.  There is no extended excitement, no fast attacks down the wings, no beautiful switching of play, and no real feel for what we are trying to do.  Jose just expects the talent on offense to find a way to score.  It's all a labored effort to get up the pitch.  Thank God Burnley didn't give a shit about showing up because United would have been smoked by any decent team with half a heart.  

Hated to see Rashford go in with his head.  I don't understand why guys don't just shove the fucker and get a yellow. Now they all lean in with the head, and thanks to Joey fucking Barton's punk ass, its a justified automatic red.  If you are going in with your head, actually hit the fucker on the bridge of the nose and make it hurt.  

The misery continues. 3 points.  Hard as hell to watch.  

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  • 3 weeks later...

Good.  He hates getting back on D and only brings his best attacking against shit opponents.  He also whines when he gives up the ball stupidly.  

There has been a lack of leadership for a while now and I don't know where it's gong to come from when Valencia leaves.  He's not even a vocal guy, but at least gives a shit every match.  I was hoping for Matic to fill the role, but he just seems like a "get the job done and go home" professional.  

There is no fire on this squad and no one who commands respect.  I could see grooming Luke Shaw a couple of years ago and there is still time yet, but he's not there right now.  

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Derby County reddit game thread is money.

This is now the match thread.

Derby take on Manchester United at Old Trafford in the Grandidier's Baobab Cup:

3’ Mata scores (1-0)

24’ chants of “you’re just a shit Connor Salmon” as Lukaku heads over from 3 yards.

27’ Phil Jones thrown down into the advertising boards by Bogle.

35’ Subreddit mods nowhere to be seen. Anarchy ensues.

36’ /u/Pazzyboi appears. Anarchy slightly reduced.

45+2’. Ref blows for half time. A promising performance from Derby especially on the offence and after conceding an early goal. An expected performance from United, but flashes of them panicking on the ball.

55’ Forsyth’s twin brother does a cheeky bit of skill through the United defence.

59’ Wilson scores an incredible free-kick. Can we sign him permanently now please? (1-1)

63’ Subs for United. Off: Herrera, Lingard. On: Fred, Mr Hair (Fellaini).

67’ Romero red card for trying to high-5 Wilson for the free-kick (Handling outside the box).

69’ Lee grant comes on for Mata. Derby now have 12 players on the pitch.

76’ Sub for Derby. Off: Bennett. On: Jozefzoon

78’ Great header from Jozefzoon. Great save from traitor Grant

79’ Sub for Derby. Off: Nugent. On: Marriott

85’ Marriott scores a rebounded header. (1-2). VAR assessing... VAR gives the goal

86’ Sub for Derby. Off: Bogle. On: Wisdom

90’ 4th official gives 6 minutes of extra time as United aren’t winning.

90+4’ Mr Hair pulls a spare ball out of his Afro and puts it into the goal (2-2).

90+∞’. Ref blows for full time. Penalties to come. Hold me.

Penalties: Mount scores. Lukaku scores. Jozefzoon scores. Young scores. Wilson scores. Fellaini scores. Marriott scores. Fred scores. Johnson scores. Martial scores. Sudden death... Bryson scores. Dalot scores. Forsyth scores. Matic scores. Keogh scores. Jones. SAVED BY CARSON.

Derby win on penalties 8-7

Fabulous Frank bounces as he ain’t a red

Final edit: post-match commentary team comparing Wilson to Ronaldo. Insult to Wilson.

Final final edit: Lampard smooth as custard in the post-match interview. Mourinho was a sight to behold and his excuse barrel is running extremely thin.

Thanks to /u/little_hibbsy for the help with highlights and for /u/Pazzyboi for the opportunity. My mam will be proud.

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  • 2 months later...

Bumping this to say, we still suck, Mo must go, and the problems are as deep as predicted.  

Last minute Fellaini winner at OT against New Boys! How exciting.  The depths of our sucktitude have yet to be revealed.  Sitting 7th in the league and 8pts down from a Champions league spot.  Normally I would be looking forward to Christmas, we always used to make our run then, but this has a chance to get ugly if we don't bring in a central defender and an effective striker in January.  Not going to happen.  Who the hell is going to join this mess of a squad when a Champions League spot is doubtful next year and Mo is still being crazy in charge.  I don't see any free agent Ibras just hanging out waiting to save our ass.  

Mo out!  

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  • 3 weeks later...

United are (it's plural because, Miami Heat are, OKC Thunder are) a steaming pile of rudderless shit looking at a bottom half finish if they don't bring in a caretaker to at least get them into Europa League next season.  That derby was the most uninspired tactical match confounded with a team that doesn't care.  My buddy who is getting into watching matches after years of playing FIFA looked at me and said, "Do they always just play long balls like that and hope for a break?"  No, we used to not.  We especially shouldn't when Pool has one of the most impressive young back lines I've seen in a long time.  Van Dijk is a beast and made Lukaku his bitch from the first whistle.  To make matters worse and the commentators said as much, there is not a single guy out there that gives a shit.  You're being embarrassed by your arch enemy and you can at least go in hard out of anger.  No fights, elbows, nothing? The locker room is fucked and Mo better be gone soon.  

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40 minutes ago, Napoleon said:

1) I can't believe that Mourinho is still the manager at ManU.

2) I can't believe that the reporters and "sport presenters" even discuss him anymore. They should just say "Jose... same shit. On to the next match..."


I should have just waited a few minutes and then checked out ESPN's Soccer page.

Screen-Shot-2018-12-18-at-3-07-41-AM.png

Manchester United announce Mourinho has left Old Trafford

Manchester United have announced that Jose Mourinho has left the club with immediate effect.

The 55-year-old leaves the club after two-and-a-half years with United sixth in the table 11 points off the top four.

A statement issued on Tuesday morning read: "Manchester United announces that manager Jose Mourinho has left the club with immediate effect. The club would like to thank Jose for his work during his time at Manchester United and to wish him success in the future.

"A new caretaker manager will be appointed until the end of the current season, while the club conducts a thorough recruitment process for a new, full-time manager."

More to follow...

http://www.espn.com/soccer/manchester-united/story/3731159/manchester-united-announce-mourinho-has-left-old-trafford

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Screen-Shot-2018-12-18-at-3-29-07-AM.png

 

Jose Mourinho sacked as Manchester United boss following Liverpool defeat

The Red Devils have axed the self-styled Special One after two-and-a-half years in the Old Trafford hotseat


 

Jose Mourinho has been sacked by Manchester United following their defeat to Liverpool on Sunday.

The Red Devils were humbled on Merseyside as they were beaten 3-1 by their fiercest rivals at Anfield.

And United have decided that result was the final straw and have parted company with the Portuguese - with Mourinho set to land a £24million payoff.

A club statement read: "Manchester United announces that manager Jose Mourinho has left the club with immediate effect.

"The club would like to thank Jose for his work during his time at Manchester United and to wish him success in the future.

"A new caretaker manager will be appointed until the end of the current season, while the club conducts a thorough recruitment process for a new, full-time manager."

Mourinho spent two-and-a-half years in the Old Trafford dugout and won the EFL Cup and the Europa League in the 2016-17 season.

But the defeat at Liverpool left the Red Devils 19 points off their fiercest rivals who currently top the Premier League.

Finishing in the top four is a minimum requirement for United this term and they are already 11 points adrift.

Mourinho was a vocal critic of United's transfer policy after he failed to land any of his prime defensive targets last summer.

He was desperate to sign a big-name centre-half with Toby Alderweireld and Harry Maguire among the players on his shortlist.

And United have now grown tired - pulling the trigger on Mourinho and announcing they will appoint a caretaker boss until the end of the season.

Michael Carrick will take training in the interim period with United travelling to Cardiff for their next game in the Premier League on Saturday tea time.

The United job was Mourinho's third spell in the Premier League having previously managed Chelsea on two separate occasions.

But he has been less successful at the Theatre of Dreams, failing to win the title having tasted glory in 2005, 2006 and 2015 with the Blues. 

Mourinho also won two Serie A crowns with Inter Milan and two Portuguese titles with Porto as well as a pair of Champions League triumphs in 2004 and 2010.

But he has been less successful at the Theatre of Dreams, failing to win the title having tasted glory in 2005, 2006 and 2015 with the Blues. 

Mourinho also won two Serie A crowns with Inter Milan and two Portuguese titles with Porto as well as a pair of Champions League triumphs in 2004 and 2010.
 

STORY: https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/breaking-jose-mourinho-sacked-manchester-13748123

ODDS ON REPLACEMENT: https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/next-man-utd-manager-odds-13748173

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Happy fucking days!!!  The cunt is dead!!  I have no idea who you bring in or who is even available.  I don't care at this point as long as they come in an put up a fight, and play some semblance of coherent attacking football.  Just enjoying the moment.  Nothing makes me happier than knowing that his gaslighting bullshit is over and the ego maniac no longer has control.  The owners need to look in the mirror(if they're capable) and bring in some new folks to run the show, make the transfers, and build long term.  Ed Woodward needs to GTFO was well.  The club is fucked right now, but not beyond saving. 

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17 hours ago, Dertyberd said:

United are (it's plural because, Miami Heat are, OKC Thunder are) a steaming pile of rudderless shit looking at a bottom half finish if they don't bring in a caretaker to at least get them into Europa League next season.  That derby was the most uninspired tactical match confounded with a team that doesn't care.  My buddy who is getting into watching matches after years of playing FIFA looked at me and said, "Do they always just play long balls like that and hope for a break?"  No, we used to not.  We especially shouldn't when Pool has one of the most impressive young back lines I've seen in a long time.  Van Dijk is a beast and made Lukaku his bitch from the first whistle.  To make matters worse and the commentators said as much, there is not a single guy out there that gives a shit.  You're being embarrassed by your arch enemy and you can at least go in hard out of anger.  No fights, elbows, nothing? The locker room is fucked and Mo better be gone soon.  

Wrong. Manchester United is the equivalent of Miami and Oklahoma City. Soccer clubs don't typically have official nicknames.

The Red Devils are. Manchester United is. This is America.

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