Jump to content

Your kids and weed


Sandman

Recommended Posts

7 minutes ago, Buffsoldier said:

Serious question: For those that have underage kids that partake while still living at home/with parents, do you subscribe to the theory of "You go out with the boys, you get up with the men?"  One of the more eye-opening (or at least one eye opening) experiences when I was young was having to drag ass out of bed at 6 a.m. on a Saturday whilst extremely hungover.  Can't even remember what it was for, probably something simple like yard work.  But the suck factor of the hangover was high enough that I really learned the value of moderation.

I mean, that is the assumption, right? Otherwise, you are just a weirdo parent enabling your weirdo kids.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

I remember being really disappointed that my first puff of weed did not make colored lights spin around me while I joyfully drove a jeep off a cliff, like in my school's drug video.

The first time I smoked a joint, I didn't understand what being high meant or was going to be like, so my parents picked me up shortly after I smoked the zigzag joint with my cousin, and I went to Medieval Times (I was 13) and it. was. awesome. I remember it vividly, being 13 and stoned made the experience super immersive and I gorged the chicken quarter like Jordan Peele at a Continental Breakfast while cheering and spitting meat for the Black and White Knight and pounding goblets of Pepsi. 

Surprisingly, since that was my first experience, I didn't like weed too much as I got older and pretty much eschewed it by the time I got to UT.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 minutes ago, Buffsoldier said:

Serious question: For those that have underage kids that partake while still living at home/with parents, do you subscribe to the theory of "You go out with the boys, you get up with the men?"  One of the more eye-opening (or at least one eye opening) experiences when I was young was having to drag ass out of bed at 6 a.m. on a Saturday whilst extremely hungover.  Can't even remember what it was for, probably something simple like yard work.  But the suck factor of the hangover was high enough that I really learned the value of moderation.

I think it's every fathers duty to inflict strong and sometimes harsh life lessons upon their sons. And if they can have some good, clean, sadistic fun while doing it.. that's just a win win all day long.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 minutes ago, Buffsoldier said:

Serious question: For those that have underage kids that partake while still living at home/with parents, do you subscribe to the theory of "You go out with the boys, you get up with the men?"  One of the more eye-opening (or at least one eye opening) experiences when I was young was having to drag ass out of bed at 6 a.m. on a Saturday whilst extremely hungover.  Can't even remember what it was for, probably something simple like yard work.  But the suck factor of the hangover was high enough that I really learned the value of moderation.

LOLz at my older brothers having to get up and milk cows in that situation.  Our mom never let them off the hook and it would be up at 3AM in the freezing ass cold in February or hot( and extra stanky) in July in the barn.  It sucked bad...but it didn't stop their partying.   Work hard.  Play harder.

 

I think our kids were just smarter about it, as they would spend the night at a buddy's house.  More than a few times, they both would call us around 10:30 or 11:00 at night.  " Come get me.  I'm not doing this shit."

Never asked questions.  just provided the ride and everything is cool.  Luckily. we never had to violate our promise to them and ask further questions( if they broke the law or some shit.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're a cool dad. Mine called the cops on me when he found a joint in my room my senior year of high school.
Sounds like you're doing the right thing . Let her know you don't really approve but be honest that it's not the end of the world. You should get high with her one time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m not all that excited about my girls entering their teenage years. I was a serious alcoholic in high school and probably should not have made it through it. I grew up with parents that partied hard so weed, alcohol, and other harder drugs were pretty well available every weekend at the lake. I started out stealing the beer at 13-14, moved up to Jack Daniels a little later, but never crossed over to drugs for some reason. The damn articles on Page 1 may explain why I can’t remember shit now that I’m almost 40. My wife however is a teetotaler, so hopefully our kids take after her.

We are extremely open with our kids about pretty much everything. Hopefully, they reciprocate as life gets more interesting for them because I don’t think we are strict per se just open and honest. I think we are safe with our oldest, but at this point I’m hoping our youngest makes it out of high school and hopefully without a grandkid in tow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

I remember being really disappointed that my first puff of weed did not make colored lights spin around me while I joyfully drove a jeep off a cliff, like in my school's drug video.

If pot is a gateway drug it's because when most people try it for the first time they say: "That's it? Why is alcohol legal and this isn't? What else have they been lying to me about?"

Btw, if you want to hide it from your parents while you're smoking at their place, take a cardboard tube from a roll of paper towels or toilet paper, insert a wadded up fabric softener sheet in one end, put your mouth on the other end after taking a hit, then exhale through the tube. They'll be none the wiser. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

If pot is a gateway drug it's because when most people try it for the first time they say: "That's it? Why is alcohol legal and this isn't? What else have they been lying to me about?"

Btw, if you want to hide it from your parents while you're smoking at their place, take a cardboard tube from a roll of paper towels or toilet paper, insert a wadded up fabric softener sheet in one end, put your mouth on the other end after taking a hit, then exhale through the tube. They'll be none the wiser. 

Meh I never thought that was a good way to hide it. What does work is turning the shower heat all the way up and smoking (or vaping) before you get in. That works great and the shower felt amazing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

Serious question: For those that have underage kids that partake while still living at home/with parents, do you subscribe to the theory of "You go out with the boys, you get up with the men?"  One of the more eye-opening (or at least one eye opening) experiences when I was young was having to drag ass out of bed at 6 a.m. on a Saturday whilst extremely hungover.  Can't even remember what it was for, probably something simple like yard work.  But the suck factor of the hangover was high enough that I really learned the value of moderation.

Growing up on a farm, this was heavily embedded in our culture.  This is how my old man was raised, and my brother and I too.  When we were in high school the rule was "you can spend the night at a friend's place, but you better be home by 7AM to start scraping hog barns out".

I learned quickly that the best remedy for a hangover was sweating it out.

I plan on using the same technique with my kids (should I ever have them).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

If pot is a gateway drug it's because when most people try it for the first time they say: "That's it? Why is alcohol legal and this isn't? What else have they been lying to me about?"

Btw, if you want to hide it from your parents while you're smoking at their place, take a cardboard tube from a roll of paper towels or toilet paper, insert a wadded up fabric softener sheet in one end, put your mouth on the other end after taking a hit, then exhale through the tube. They'll be none the wiser. 

The good ol' doob tube.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

If pot is a gateway drug it's because when most people try it for the first time they say: "That's it? Why is alcohol legal and this isn't? What else have they been lying to me about?"

Btw, if you want to hide it from your parents while you're smoking at their place, take a cardboard tube from a roll of paper towels or toilet paper, insert a wadded up fabric softener sheet in one end, put your mouth on the other end after taking a hit, then exhale through the tube. They'll be none the wiser. 

Beer in the out of the way, abandoned cul de sac with your buddies is the gateway drug, not weed. Pot's already there just waiting to say, "hey s'up."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think the gateway drug thing really holds up/make sense.  Some people are just attracted to stronger forms of inebriation.  I don't think that beer, or weed, are gateways so much as they are just the most mild and accessible forms of inebriation.  The vast majority of people who use them never go on to stronger forms of inebriation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I don't think the gateway drug thing really holds up/make sense.  Some people are just attracted to stronger forms of inebriation.  I don't think that beer, or weed, are gateways so much as they are just the most mild and accessible forms of inebriation.  The vast majority of people who use them never go on to stronger forms of inebriation.

Alcohol is typically the first thing people have access to. That makes it the gateway drug IMO.  And yeah, most people don't go on to harder stuff beyond alcohol or pot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Alcohol is typically the first thing people have access to. That makes it the gateway drug IMO.  And yeah, most people don't go on to harder stuff beyond alcohol or pot.

I would generally agree.

It was actually easier for me to get pot in high school than booze.  For some odd reason, all of my buddies and I were the oldest in our families and didn't have the older sibling booze connection.  But the kid down the hallway sold weed out of his locker.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I would generally agree.

It was actually easier for me to get pot in high school than booze.  For some odd reason, all of my buddies and I were the oldest in our families and didn't have the older sibling booze connection.  But the kid down the hallway sold weed out of his locker.

Yeah, alcohol was always easier for us to get.  It was just sitting there in that "locked" liquor cabinet.  

The head scratcher for me was the friend that was doing heroin in HS.  First of all, fuck that noise, needles, addictive opioids, and where the fuck was he getting heroin in the suburbs, in the early 80's, where we grew up.  He died a few years ago before reaching 50.

Edited by Onboard 2.0
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, crackamacgowski said:

Marijuana is better than alcohol in pretty much every category. I do agree that it's a stupid thing to lose your job over, but you have to be a special kind of dumb to do that.

It's definitely better for you, but it's far less fun.  

Which makes it's illegality even stranger.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, crackamacgowski said:

Marijuana is better than alcohol in pretty much every category. I do agree that it's a stupid thing to lose your job over, but you have to be a special kind of dumb to do that.

For damn sure on the weed to alcohol comparison. Personal preference and all, but I enjoy that buzz more, and there's no hang over component.  Much less weed needed to do the same thing alcohol does.  Still love a bourbon , beer, wine or mixed drink........just to be sociable of course.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Growing up on a farm, this was heavily embedded in our culture.  This is how my old man was raised, and my brother and I too.  When we were in high school the rule was "you can spend the night at a friend's place, but you better be home by 7AM to start scraping hog barns out".

I learned quickly that the best remedy for a hangover was sweating it out.

I think we all kinda grew up that way, where our old man would whup the shit out of us the next day, not because we were necessarily in trouble, but just to teach us a lesson.

Quote

I plan on using the same technique with my kids (should I ever have them).

This is kinda where I was going with my question, how many parents will still do it.  I have known too many parents that will let their little darlings just sleep it off because they were smart enough to call for a ride, or drink at home, or something like that.  To me, that's only half of the equation.  The most important half, to be sure, but still half.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When my eldest was a senior in HS at 17 she found our pot and, since we'd had many conversations with her about the various intoxicants, she came right to us and said WTF?  Turned out she had no clue we were regular smokers and she had been smoking for a couple of years on her own.  I had told her that pot was better than alcohol, but she should wait until she was older to use them because of the potential for cognitive development issues.  I didn't start until I was in my twenties but my wife started in high school and if that didn't demonstrate the case, nothing would.

Anyway, she's a productive member of society now at 21 living on her own and paying all her own bills.  My only rules were she couldn't smoke with us until she turned 18.  My two other girls, 15 and 13, already know we smoke and neither has shown the slightest interest.  In fact, I call my 15 year old Grandma Prude because she's somewhat disapproving of our lifestyle.  She's got a very strong moral sense and always tries to do the right thing, but she's no narc fortunately.  We've had lots of conversations on the subject and as she grows up, she's getting more understanding of the difference between illegal and immoral.

It's tough to be a parent, but I've found the key is open communication and understanding.  It also helps to get lucky and have good, self motivated kids with strong personal morals.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Buffsoldier said:

I think we all kinda grew up that way, where our old man would whup the shit out of us the next day, not because we were necessarily in trouble, but just to teach us a lesson.

This is kinda where I was going with my question, how many parents will still do it.  I have known too many parents that will let their little darlings just sleep it off because they were smart enough to call for a ride, or drink at home, or something like that.  To me, that's only half of the equation.  The most important half, to be sure, but still half.

Oh, fuck that.  Like you said, if you play with the boys, you get up with the men.  In my family you're expected to be capable of both.  

Even though there isn't the amount of hard manual farm work there used to be, I still make myself exercise the day after drinking just to not lose touch with that ethos.  Well, that and I legitimately feel better afterwards.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/26/2018 at 10:15 PM, bernorange said:

Illegal drugs in the home puts your home at risk. Learn about civil asset forfeiture. How would your daughter feel if her habit was responsible for you to be homeless?

lol jesus christ I hope this is a joke

yeah dude i bet they will come and take all his shit because they found a bag of shwag in his daughters bedroom 

Edited by DiceHands
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/27/2018 at 5:21 AM, Spankytoes said:

We’ll settle for a swimsuit photo. That’s a fair compromise.

I busted my son drinking and driving home from Applebee’s a few months ago. He lives in our TX house by himself where he knows that we are OK with drinking at the house but won’t buy it for him. The cardinal rule is that he NEVER drives nor does anyone else that partakes. Didn’t make a difference. Kids are going to be kids.

Good luck 

Applebee’s?  Holy fuck, the kid needs serious help!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, DiceHands said:

lol jesus christ I hope this is a joke ...

I wish it was.  There are real world examples where it has happened.

Quote

...

Michigan police in 2014. They raided Hency’s home, terrorized her, and arrested her after finding six ounces of marijuana.

The six ounces were totally legal, and all charges against Hency were later thrown out.

But police did something more than just wrongfully arrest her when they raided Hency’s home—they also robbed her of everything she owned.

And a year later, they still refuse to give her possessions back.

...

http://bigbudsmag.com/police-use-asset-forfeiture-to-steal-from-marijuana-growers/

Quote

...

9 Philadelphia Couple’s Home Seized After Son Arrested For Marijuana

In 2012, Leon and Mary Adams had their property seized because their son, Leon Jr., had allegedly been selling marijuana from their front porch without their knowledge. Though Leon Jr. was indeed charged with a crime, he was alleged to have sold very small quantities—a “few $20 marijuana deals”—and the couple had nothing to do with the criminal activity. Leon Jr. had not yet been convicted of the criminal activity when the police asserted that they would be seizing the property that had been the home of Leon and Mary Adams since 1966.

...

5 Philadelphia Family Has Home Seized Due To Son’s Drug Use


After their son Yianni was arrested for possession of $40 worth of heroin, Christos and Markella Sourovelis had their home seized by officials in Philadelphia, who contended that not only was Yianni in possession of heroin but that he was also selling it. The sales allegedly took place in the home or in front of the home, and though the Sourovelis family had no knowledge of the criminal activity, civil asset forfeiture laws allowed officials to evict the Sourovelis family from the home with no prior notice.

...

 

https://listverse.com/2015/06/29/10-egregious-abuses-of-civil-asset-forfeiture/

Also...

Quote

...

The equitable sharing loophole still exists. The federal government can continue to prosecute criminal cases and litigate civil forfeiture actions related to cannabis. Citing the risk of federal forfeiture, Wells Fargo, one of Colorado’s largest banks, has refused to finance properties in that state’s marijuana industry. 

Buying recreational marijuana has been legal in Colorado only since Jan. 1 and pot stores haven't opened yet in Washington. Yet selling the plant has already generated $14 million in Colorado—a tempting cash cow for local police.

The incentives behind equitable sharing are primed for abuse. Property owners’ protection from forfeiture currently depends on prosecutorial discretion. That is no substitute for meaningful legal reform.

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2014/04/equitable_sharing_legalized_marijuana_and_civil_forfeiture_the_scheme_that.html

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, CHIEF said:

When CHIEF Jr. drinks (20 year old), there is no leaving our gated community. We have security only and LEOs can only enter if called by residents or management. He can drink, fishing at the river, playing golf, poker, or riding around on the golf cart. He has tried pot about 3-4 times, a couple of times here at the house, and a couple of times just riding around with friends on the golf cart. Telling them they cannot drink or smoke around you only means that they are going to go do it where you can't see or find out about it. Most of the time that is at a party that gets busted by the cops, then you got to go pick them up and hire an attorney to get charges reduced or dismissed. Luckily, CHIEF Jr. doesn't really like weed, but if he was hellbent on smoking it, I would rather it be where I can keep an eye on him.

 

CHIEF

Humblebrag

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Btw, if you want to hide it from your parents while you're smoking at their place,

I wasted several months trying to hide the smell of booze and pot from my mom. I'd drag in late, catch hell.

Then it clicked for me that she didn't care half as much about the things I was doing, as the fact that I was out late. I started coming home 5 minutes before curfew. I could smell like Bob Marley pickled in a whiskey barrel, but I was home on time. All good.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 months later...

Shitty update: My dumbass kid didn't learn anything and was busted toking up at school. WTF. I'm more embarassed than mad but I'm still pretty upset about it.

I'm telling myself that it's not the end of the world, that there's lots of parents dealing with this, frankly dealing with much, much worse. It doesn't help me very much. Her dopehead mother isn't exactly clutching her pearls. I'm worried she's gonna be excited to maybe find a weed buddy. FML.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

it’s a monster fad everywhere right now. Everyone is smoking those vape pens and if you don’t you fucking a super dork. 

I don’t know your situation but on the face I would say: Don’t be permissive, but don’t go too hard on her.

Something that worked for me in Hs was my dad just dining a man-to-man talk. He pointed out that stuff that you had to hide from your family- whether it was leagle or not, usually caused lots more problems than they were worth. 

You could remind her that you respect and love her and you have her best interests in mind for the person she is now and the person she is going to be later. That in absolute honesty it’s better to start smoking later (which is true) and to ask her to use her brain and ask herself if she really thinks smoking is the best decision for her getting what she wants right now, in a one-on-one way. I mean, there’s fucking google and plenty of real information about this stuff now and how it really can affect your mood/depression/anxiety. Plus, getting kicked out of school really, really sucks.

 

idk man, good luck.

Edited by Doc Reeves
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

45 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Shitty update: My dumbass kid didn't learn anything and was busted toking up at school. WTF. I'm more embarassed than mad but I'm still pretty upset about it.

I'm telling myself that it's not the end of the world, that there's lots of parents dealing with this, frankly dealing with much, much worse. It doesn't help me very much. Her dopehead mother isn't exactly clutching her pearls. I'm worried she's gonna be excited to maybe find a weed buddy. FML.

Kids have been blowing weed at their HS since kids have been blowing weed. Not a huge deal, depending on the circumstances, and who's in charge at his school, dealing with the situation. 

Having a frank conversation with him about his actual amount of usage is the important thing. Is it occasional use or daily abuse ??  Big difference in how you deal with the situation going forward.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

55 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Shitty update: My dumbass kid didn't learn anything and was busted toking up at school. WTF. I'm more embarassed than mad but I'm still pretty upset about it.

I'm telling myself that it's not the end of the world, that there's lots of parents dealing with this, frankly dealing with much, much worse. It doesn't help me very much. Her dopehead mother isn't exactly clutching her pearls. I'm worried she's gonna be excited to maybe find a weed buddy. FML.

Ugh that sucks because it demonstrates a pretty severe lack of judgment.

One reason MJ was considered a gateway drug is that one has to enter drug dealer culture to obtain it.  I understand that today and for some years now, most MJ dealers are strictly ganj.  Back in my day, drug dealers were a one-stop shop and had a tendency to upsell.  And once you are making those transactions, not much to stop you from trying something a little stronger.

Edited by TwiceHorn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Kids have been blowing weed at their HS since kids have been blowing weed. Not a huge deal, depending on the circumstances, and who's in charge at his school, dealing with the situation. 

Having a frank conversation with him about his actual amount of usage is the important thing. Is it occasional use or daily abuse ??  Big difference in how you deal with the situation going forward.

 

 

Yeah, daily smokeouts over a fairly long term are problematic and may speak to nascent addiction or related psychological issues.  Not to mention the research tending to show pretty adverse effects on pre-adult brains.  However, I tend to think those adverse effects diminish as usage tails off.  All of us probably knew or know a Spicoli type that finally grew up and out of it without apparent long-term effects.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

a tendency to upsell. 

Now this is Panda, from Mexico. Very good stuff. This is Bava, different, but equally good. And this is Choco from the Hartz Mountains of Germany. Now the first two are the same, forty- five an ounce – those are friend prices – but this one...  ...this one's a little more expensive. It's fifty-five. But when you shoot it, you'll know where that extra money went. Nothing wrong with the first two. It's real, real, real, good shit. But this one's a fuckin' madman.

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, TwiceHorn said:

Yeah, daily smokeouts over a fairly long term are problematic and may speak to nascent addiction or related psychological issues.  Not to mention the research tending to show pretty adverse effects on pre-adult brains.  However, I tend to think those adverse effects diminish as usage tails off.  All of us probably knew or know a Spicoli type that finally grew up and out of it without apparent long-term effects.

Moderation is a huge factor.  Similar with alcohol, but for a different set of health related issues.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Yeah, daily smokeouts over a fairly long term are problematic and may speak to nascent addiction or related psychological issues.  Not to mention the research tending to show pretty adverse effects on pre-adult brains.  However, I tend to think those adverse effects diminish as usage tails off.  All of us probably knew or know a Spicoli type that finally grew up and out of it without apparent long-term effects.

I used to smoke weed regularly in HS, college, and for awhile afterwards.  I tailed off quite a bit over the years and now almost never do it.  I wouldn't say it's...had....any....... wait, what were we talking about?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...