Jump to content

Shit My Kid Says


ROFL BOX

Recommended Posts

  • 2 weeks later...

Mrs. Doom made skirt steak for dinner tonight. 

He asked - in all seriousness - whether it was "wolf meat." He didn't understand that it was from a cow and was legitimately asking. 

He then wanted to know why we don't eat wolf. 

He has eaten skirt steak every ~3 weeks for years. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My son and I play a game called Bloons DT6. An online game where you can team up with others to pop balloons.

The communication options are limited. You can only call out players and use emojis to thank, warn or give them a facepalm when they do something stupid.

IMG_2019.jpeg.024f7fd2836cad6e841cabbc42803e8d.jpeg


The emoji disappeared and my son said he took off because it was mean spirited, and he didn’t want to be mean.

Im so proud of this boy. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Superhero said:

My son and I play a game called Bloons DT6. An online game where you can team up with others to pop balloons.

The communication options are limited. You can only call out players and use emojis to thank, warn or give them a facepalm when they do something stupid.

IMG_2019.jpeg.024f7fd2836cad6e841cabbc42803e8d.jpeg


The emoji disappeared and my son said he took off because it was mean spirited, and he didn’t want to be mean.

Im so proud of this boy. 

Love that game! It's a perfect time killer. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

He's taking a bath and called me in to brandish his penis at me while saying, "Look dad, I found a hotdog at the bottom of the tub!" 

~~~~~

The other day he called his mother into the bathroom to show her a turd "shaped like a pistol." 

She did not appreciate it. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
  • Like 4
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

We were playing Pokémon Go yesterday and driving around in a caravan to get perfect specimens (caught 6 hundo Bellsprouts...) and Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back came on the radio. 

We talked about the importance of not using words that we didn't know the meaning of, and about situational contexts of appropriateness. 

Later in the day, a somewhat similar sounding song came on the radio, and Doomlet asked, "Dad, is this Dr. Mix-A-Lot again?" 

*Bask in jealousy, fellow nerds...

Screenshot_20240421_113437_PokmonGO.thumb.jpg.27fe0483ecf34997cbbef9eca91f30ba.jpg

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Backstory:

5 year old pukes in upstairs bathroom when kids are supposed to be showering. When I go to clean up and ask what happened she says she has a headache and maybe sick. She needs to have her temperature taken.

Dinner:

Wife - Oh no, DNAgirl. Why were you sick

DNAsister (7 year old): you know how she gets. [backstory is that the youngest pukes at the drop of a hat…  which sucks]

DNAgirl: I need my temperature taken

[I take temp and it’s 97]
Me: it says you’re ok

DNAgirl: Oh. Well now I remember. 
Me: remember what?

DNAgirl: DNAsis and I were playing upstairs and when she held my neck I felt sick and threw up.

[DNAwife and I look at each other]
DNAsis: [silence] {glare of a thousand suns at DNAgirl}

 

Seems as if some kiddos are losing iPad time this weekend for their little conspiracy….. 

Edited by Dnaguy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...