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Shit My Kid Says

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23 hours ago, demos said:

Son (7): Can I have dessert?

Wife: What's dessert? [Meaning what was he getting]

Son: Dessert is what you eat after you finish your dinner.

Wife: tone

Me:

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Bonus points if he'd have finished with, "...but that's not important right now. "

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Doomlet (4,m): Mom is going to be a firefighter for Halloween because she has all the right parts. 

Me: What parts are those?

Doomlet: A green shirt and a bucket of hair.

*Mrs. Doom is not dressing as a firefighter, nor has the topic ever come up before. Also, she does not have a bucket of hair. Just a green shirt on... 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom

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Took my 7 yo to the TCU game a couple of weekends ago. We sit down amongst the mostly UT fans in our section and he yells out of nowhere, "OU Sucks!"

He got many high fives and I may or may not have shed a tear.

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On 11/4/2019 at 2:50 PM, Whatever said:

Took my 7 yo to the TCU game a couple of weekends ago. We sit down amongst the mostly UT fans in our section and he yells out of nowhere, "OU Sucks!"

He got many high fives and I may or may not have shed a tear.

Needs to go in the shit my genius kid says

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Doomlet (4,m) is under the weather, so Mrs. Doom plopped him in the bath last night to soak up some steam and relax. 

She left the room for a few minutes, and when she came back, Doomlet had a worried look on his face, which led to the following exchange. 

Mrs: What's wrong? 

Doomlet: I'm very concerned about something Guy told me. 

[Note: Guy is his stuffed animal/security blanket item, and as far as we know, lacks the ability to speak.] 

Mrs: Oh yeah, what's that? 

Doomlet: Guy told me that eleven was really twelve. 

 

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3 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Doomlet (4,m) is under the weather, so Mrs. Doom plopped him in the bath last night to soak up some steam and relax. 

She left the room for a few minutes, and when she came back, Doomlet had a worried look on his face, which led to the following exchange. 

Mrs: What's wrong? 

Doomlet: I'm very concerned about something Guy told me. 

[Note: Guy is his stuffed animal/security blanket item, and as far as we know, lacks the ability to speak.] 

Mrs: Oh yeah, what's that? 

Doomlet: Guy told me that eleven was really twelve. 

 

He has reason to be worried.  I mean, if 7 ate 9.....

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10yo: "I need to show you something on my iPad"

Me: What is it?

10yo: "It starts with P and ends in Y"

 

Spoiler

It was a puppy you dirty minded fuck.

 

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File under "Awesome shit my kid says":

Roxette tells me today that she joined the BBQ Cooking club @ her HS.

I told her to check with the teacher & we can use my smoker rig for some test runs & come 2020, I'll get them hooked up with a backstage tour for a bunch of teams for the Rodeo Austin cookoff in March.

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