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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread


Prepuce of Doom

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On 8/26/2019 at 9:26 PM, Goo Punch said:

man what the fuck? here's the commercial i just saw:

 

*acoustic/piano, sappy, sentimental music playing with some breathy, annoying white girl voice singing for fucking apparent reason*

•old black man playing chess in the park with little white kid (?)

•little white kid looks over his shoulder and sees three young girls giggling with each other on a park bench

•old black man gets a twinkle in his eye, and slides his humongous container of extra gum across the table and gives little white kid a nod

*sappy musics intensifies*

white kid goes and shares the gun with the girls

•tag line about extra's shitty gum bringing people together

go fuck yourself 

I like your version better. 

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On 8/26/2019 at 9:14 PM, Goo Punch said:

seriously, Jerry pays for FIVE streaming services that he doesn't use, and he needs the wells fargo app to make him aware of this? go fuck yourself. 

To be fair, you have to be that stupid to bank with WF to begin with. 

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52 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

"If you bring home $400 a week we can finance you up to 25k" .... the fuck is someone making 400/week doing buying a 25k car? 

folks with poor credit consistently make poor credit decisions.

also for many of these small used car dealers, they purposely set up the payments so that the dealership makes a profit if the customer makes more than 1 payment on their note, and they almost break even if the customer doesnt make a note, the upfront cash, plus the fees charged almost makes it even, and anything more than 2 payments is pure profit- assuming they can repo the car in a reasonable time.   

Very long story short, had a small used dealer near where I work selling a Honda Accord. it was reasonably priced, but still a little high, I tried to talk the dealer down, literally had cash in hand, and he wouldnt budge.  Car disappeared off the for sale list a week later, I never found what I was looking for, 5 months later I started looking again, the exact same car (the stock pick had a very distinctive amount of dust with a wash me message written on it) was for sale again, with about 2k more miles than before - but asking the same price.  Called the dealer thinking he would finally take less and was basically told he doesnt want to sell it to me because he can make more money on the back end repos.

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1 hour ago, AUS-97HORN said:

folks with poor credit consistently make poor credit decisions.

also for many of these small used car dealers, they purposely set up the payments so that the dealership makes a profit if the customer makes more than 1 payment on their note, and they almost break even if the customer doesnt make a note, the upfront cash, plus the fees charged almost makes it even, and anything more than 2 payments is pure profit- assuming they can repo the car in a reasonable time.   

Very long story short, had a small used dealer near where I work selling a Honda Accord. it was reasonably priced, but still a little high, I tried to talk the dealer down, literally had cash in hand, and he wouldnt budge.  Car disappeared off the for sale list a week later, I never found what I was looking for, 5 months later I started looking again, the exact same car (the stock pick had a very distinctive amount of dust with a wash me message written on it) was for sale again, with about 2k more miles than before - but asking the same price.  Called the dealer thinking he would finally take less and was basically told he doesnt want to sell it to me because he can make more money on the back end repos.

Yep.  I have a buddy that owns a car lot.  Told me he's sold the same car to the same person 2-3 times, for the same price and several times he's sold it for more (after people put wheels/stereos etc. into the car).  Sad, but that's what it is. 

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I would conservatively estimate that I've seen the AT&T boy band and merger negotiation commercials at least 40 times each today.  Neither of those commercials suck and I'm sure they tested well with focus groups, but every time you see them they suck more, so I would suggest that the ad wizards test market their commercials by making their focus groups watch them every 5 minutes for three solid hours.  

Edited by Beau Vine
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On 9/4/2019 at 7:19 AM, NorthLoop said:

So we all agree that Scott Elder should die in a fire and his commercials suck, but have you ever listened to the offer he makes? 

"If you bring home $400 a week we can finance you up to 25k" .... the fuck is someone making 400/week doing buying a 25k car? 

Living in it?

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On 8/31/2019 at 12:09 PM, clapclapclap said:

"Your Buick doesn't have a roof rack?"

Hey surfer dunt, you didn't notice on the ride to the beach that you were in an SUV not a convertible?

The worse part of that commercial is the soccer kid saying, "How are we going to fit all this in your mom's Buick?"  What kid talks like that?

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9 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

I would conservatively estimate that I've seen the AT&T boy band and merger negotiation commercials at least 40 times each today.  Neither of those commercials suck and I'm sure they tested well with focus groups, but every time you see them they suck more, so I would suggest that the ad wizards test market their commercials by making their focus groups watch them every 5 minutes for three solid hours.  

I don't know a damn thing about the economics of filming commercials, but I have always thought that having 10x more variety at 1/10 the quality (or some other significantly different ratio than we have) would be better for almost every company. 

Few ads provoke outrage or annoyance upon first viewing. Most ads do by the 25th or 100th viewing. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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Samuel Adams commercial; guy and girlfriend furiously making out in a bar, girl breaks off and says, "I can taste your beer."  Random dude standing next to their table chimes in, "I want to taste his beer."  Fuck off you fucking perv....and while we're at it, you two get a fucking room.  Nobody wants to see that shit.

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7 hours ago, ButtFumble said:

I like Payton Manning, but in those Nationwide commercials I wish Brad Paisley would just sneak up behind him and crack him over the head with that fucking guitar

Put one of those guitar strings to good use. He's got a weak neck already.

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On 9/15/2019 at 1:55 PM, Lhorn said:

Just what I was going to post. Going Honkey Tonk man on Manning’s giant gourd.

Except instead of a cardboard dreadnaught I’m thinking maybe a beefy Les Paul (Epiphone of course).

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Telecaster. Then the guitar would still be playable. 

 

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I want to say it's Phillips 66, but there's some gas station commercial with 2 hipsters on a road trip in a 66 Ford Van that makes me criminally ragey. 

"I don't trust anything under 3.8 stars." Motherfucker, your eyeless skull will see billions of stars in the fucking field I'll be leaving your lifeless corpse in.

Edit: it's 76. Not Phillips 66

 

Edited by Buffsoldier
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12 hours ago, RomaVicta said:

These are my people.

Ugh. This ad. Fighting through bedtime routine with two littles then trying to relax watching SNF and I have to sit through like 10 different families slugging through their mornings, including kids fighting and whining. Great. Thanks. Enjoy your fucking soccer game in your roomy SUV, I need like 10 god damn minutes of peace and quiet

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