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Surly kids applying / attending UT


Longhorn94

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3 hours ago, Bateshorn said:

I've posted this before, but I've had numerous admissions officers tell me "Well rounded applicants roll off the final admissions table." They'd rather see a dedicated drama kid who went all in and can speak interestingly and eloquently to that passion, than East Coast Becky, who was cheerleader, soccer captain, student body vice president, soup kitchen maven, and leader of the church choir.

I read about this a lot over the past year in preparing for my daughter's college application process.  Yes, the general consensus now seems to be, encourage your kid to have a more narrow focus of their time and energy in extracurricular activities so their resume doesn't look something like Max Fisher in Rushmore. 

But I don't think you over correct and tell your kid, "Just focus on chemistry, join (or form) the Chemistry Club, and teach chemistry to the homeless," or something along the lines. 

I think there's a sweet spot.  And my daughter has been engaged in a lot of areas -- varsity basketball, classical guitar major who made All State, officer of the Science Honor Society (I didn't even know that was a thing) who has tutored other students in chemistry, and a few others.  She's far from a resume padder, and is just a social student who has always managed to hang around with different groups of the student population.

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On 2/12/2024 at 8:38 AM, hornian said:

Ok, humble brag time but I do have an issue with my kids I don't know how to handle, and would love some advice:

Lots of folks are on here are posting things like "There's no way I could get into UT now" - but I'm in the opposite boat - I'd have no problem getting into UT these days with my grades/scores from 20+ years ago. I was 4th in my class (not 4%, 4th), and had a ~1500 SAT. And I didn't really work hard at it. Never took any prep courses for the SAT, didn't have to cram to study - it all just came pretty easy for me. I was that kid in high school who did all of his homework in the cafeteria right before the bell rang and got all the questions correct, or who could read the 350 page novel for English once and remember everything about it without a problem, or who finished their test first and aced it and then got in trouble for disrupting the class because I was bored since everyone was slower than me. There was this time in AP physics where I just "got" the concept (I don't remember what it was now), and the teacher asked me to come and explain it to the class, but I couldn't explain how it worked, it just made sense to me and I could work it out in my head but not explain what was going on to get to the correct answer. I was the only person who got an A on that test. I also lettered in more than one sport, was in UIL academics, and still had time to get drunk enough at a party to go the hospital for alcohol poisoning because, again, I just didn't need to study hard so I could do all of that stuff and keep my grades up. To some extent UT was a "wake up call" - but it's because I got some Bs my freshman year instead of all As. The only C I ever got in my life was crim law my 1L year of Law School, and even then it was because 1) crim law just didn't engage me, and 2) crim law was on Tuesday/Thursday afternoons in the Spring, and I would skip a lot of Tuesday classes to go watch baseball games at the Disch (it's not my fault they built the Law School so close to the baseball stadium).

The problem is I don't think my kids will be like that - I love them, and they are smart kids who aren't struggling academically, but they aren't testing the way I was testing at their ages. My oldest is in 2nd grade and is doing fine - but I distinctly remember taking some standardized test in 1st grade and the school talking to my parents because I had gotten the highest score in the whole grade and they wanted to see about me skipping grades (to my parent's credit - they didn't make me skip grades, and I'm glad they didn't as I think that my social skills would have suffered if I did). She's in the top 85% of her class with her MAP scores, so she's smart and gets the concepts, but she's not the smartest kid in the school smart (which I'm fine with, or course). 

I still have a lot of time, but I don't know what I need to do to help them be prepared because I didn't need the help myself - so I don't have anything to fall back on as "well, this worked for me." Is anyone else in this boat, and is there anything that has helped you give your kids the assistance they will need at times when you didn't need it yourself when you were their age?

I don't have kids, so I can't offer anything from the perspective of a parent. But I do have the experience of being the child of highly educated, intelligent parents who put a lot of pressure on me to succeed academically. My dad was a literal genius. I was merely a good student, considerably above average in most subjects, but not a genius or 1600 SAT material. My recollections and suggestions follow. (A lot of this is Parenting 101, but as smart as they were, my parent's weren't always great at this.)

1) While helping your kids study or do homework, try not to show impatience or anger if they are slow to catch on to something. My dad tried to be patient with me, but still there was enough of a gulf between us that it was apparent that he was frustrated that I wasn't getting it. It made me feel, well, dumb. Which, in comparison to him, I was. But he had at least 40 IQ points on me.

2) Don't push your kids into advanced classes or grades that they aren't prepared for. In middle school my parents lobbied hard to get me into "GT"-level classes for English, math, science, etc. Which was OK in the case of English and science subjects, I did well at those. But I was not, and still am not, adept at math, especially abstract math. I was hopelessly lost in that math class, and it was frustrating and embarrassing, and led to further problems described in my point 3 below.

3) If you put too much pressure on a kid to excel with grades, it can have counterproductive results. For example, I was failing the aforementioned math class. The right thing to do would have been to tell my parents/teacher that I couldn't do it, or that I needed extra help, or something along those lines. But I was much too afraid about my parent's reaction to handle it that way. Instead, I tried to cover up my poor grades as long as I could. (I altered my report card.) Giving my parents a report card with a D or F on it was just unthinkable. Of course I eventually got caught, and I even knew I was pretty likely to get caught--but at the time I didn't really feel like I had much to lose.

 

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On 2/12/2024 at 8:38 AM, hornian said:

Ok, humble brag time but I do have an issue with my kids I don't know how to handle, and would love some advice:

Lots of folks are on here are posting things like "There's no way I could get into UT now" - but I'm in the opposite boat - I'd have no problem getting into UT these days with my grades/scores from 20+ years ago. I was 4th in my class (not 4%, 4th), and had a ~1500 SAT. And I didn't really work hard at it. Never took any prep courses for the SAT, didn't have to cram to study - it all just came pretty easy for me. I was that kid in high school who did all of his homework in the cafeteria right before the bell rang and got all the questions correct, or who could read the 350 page novel for English once and remember everything about it without a problem, or who finished their test first and aced it and then got in trouble for disrupting the class because I was bored since everyone was slower than me. There was this time in AP physics where I just "got" the concept (I don't remember what it was now), and the teacher asked me to come and explain it to the class, but I couldn't explain how it worked, it just made sense to me and I could work it out in my head but not explain what was going on to get to the correct answer. I was the only person who got an A on that test. I also lettered in more than one sport, was in UIL academics, and still had time to get drunk enough at a party to go the hospital for alcohol poisoning because, again, I just didn't need to study hard so I could do all of that stuff and keep my grades up. To some extent UT was a "wake up call" - but it's because I got some Bs my freshman year instead of all As. The only C I ever got in my life was crim law my 1L year of Law School, and even then it was because 1) crim law just didn't engage me, and 2) crim law was on Tuesday/Thursday afternoons in the Spring, and I would skip a lot of Tuesday classes to go watch baseball games at the Disch (it's not my fault they built the Law School so close to the baseball stadium).

The problem is I don't think my kids will be like that - I love them, and they are smart kids who aren't struggling academically, but they aren't testing the way I was testing at their ages. My oldest is in 2nd grade and is doing fine - but I distinctly remember taking some standardized test in 1st grade and the school talking to my parents because I had gotten the highest score in the whole grade and they wanted to see about me skipping grades (to my parent's credit - they didn't make me skip grades, and I'm glad they didn't as I think that my social skills would have suffered if I did). She's in the top 85% of her class with her MAP scores, so she's smart and gets the concepts, but she's not the smartest kid in the school smart (which I'm fine with, or course). 

I still have a lot of time, but I don't know what I need to do to help them be prepared because I didn't need the help myself - so I don't have anything to fall back on as "well, this worked for me." Is anyone else in this boat, and is there anything that has helped you give your kids the assistance they will need at times when you didn't need it yourself when you were their age?

Same boat: #2 in my 6A high school, 1500 SAT, coasted through school, bla bla, but my kids are not scholars.  Except along the way I got a PhD instead of going to law school. It was there - taking graduate level classes in math and econometrics - that I realized I was far from the smartest guy in the room. I had to study my ass off just to figure out what hell was going on. It was quite humbling and I learned how to be good student.  

So my advice is to give up your law career and get a PhD in math.  You will then have good study habits to teach your kids.  

  

 

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I have one that is a natural academic high achiever and another that is smart, but a satisficer who is okay coasting in that cohort below the GT crowd. (Second has natural confidence, lack of anxiety, positive disposition and social nature that I'd bet he makes more money in the real world. Unearned confidence of white boys is a super power.)

All purpose advice: Focus on teaching grit. Help them work hard, encourage them to do the grind on their own initiative. That levelto be a chellenge but not too hard) may vary based on the kid, but just teach them that its okay to sometimes have to work hard. Encourage non academic sports and hobbies that don't come easy. Develop those good habits and attitude and they'll be happy and productive adults. Now maybe grit cannot really be taught. I dunno. So I also tell myself kid #2 can be fine with a degree from Texas State or Tech, or be a cop, or use that 529 money too be a linesman or electrician. 

Basically just pinch yourself, because I know *so many* super smart couples with kid(s) that struggle on the spectrum. My theory is assortive mating means 2 smart parents make kids that can be outliers. I pray those kids end up fine too. If you don't have those struggles, parenting is on easy mode.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/20/2024 at 8:41 PM, Fudge Nuggets said:

Following up, all is good in casa de Fudge.  The boy got accepted to West Point today.  He's kind of a big deal now.

Before hearing back from West Point, he put in an appeal to UT for ChemE and found out yesterday he got accepted. West Point has always been his first choice, so barring any disaster that’s where he’s going.

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On 3/29/2024 at 8:33 PM, Fudge Nuggets said:

Before hearing back from West Point, he put in an appeal to UT for ChemE and found out yesterday he got accepted. West Point has always been his first choice, so barring any disaster that’s where he’s going.


why chemE ? (I have a chemE degree)

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On 3/20/2024 at 8:41 PM, Fudge Nuggets said:

Following up, all is good in casa de Fudge.  The boy got accepted to West Point today.  He's kind of a big deal now.

That's awesome, congrats to your son.  Two of my cousins graduated from West Point.  To say both have led successful lives would be understating it.  One is still serving as a full bird colonel, although I think he has to move to the reserves soon if not already.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

If she wants to rush, then Hardin House and SRD. Callaway House is also popular.

HH and SRD fill up quickly. Have your act together when the contracts come out and get them back asap.

Edited by Cap33
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