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Official 2018 bitch about family/holiday drama thread


GhostOfTomJoad

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2 weeks to go until Thanksgiving. We're navigating the waters fairly well so far since we're just planning on having my sister & her fiancé over to our house. One SIL is beginning her annual, passive-aggressive bitching about how we need to have a BIG Thanksgiving and she'll host it (she can't cook) at their house in BFE. Fuck that noise. She can spend her time making her son, daughter & husband miserable. No need to inflict that pain on the rest of us.

Bring it, surly.

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I love this thread, and thank you for starting it.  My dad turns 70 this December and my sisters (no pics) and I are planning a party for him.  Crazy stepmother has made two, weak, attempts to derail it so far.  But we KNOW the megabomb is coming.  No idea what it'll be and there's no use in trying to figure it out.  Just be cool, and adapt when it comes.  My sisters H.A.T.E. this woman (I do too) but they've always been surprisingly good with dealing with it.  So I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping to sweet baby Jesus everyone keeps their shit tight until the party is done.  Then do the same a few weeks later for Christmas.

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My sister, my nephew, my dad and my stepmom are all November birthdays.  My dad/stepmom suggested they come down into the loop (Houston) to have lunch - the 5 of us - to celebrate all the birthdays.  This is because my sister and I tend to pretend Thanksgiving isn't a thing - she stays home with my nephew and I stay home with my dog and fuck that stupid holiday - the food sucks, the company sucks more.

On the phone with my mom yesterday, who suggests we all get together Saturday (at her house, which is 45 min from me and an hour+ from my sister) to celebrate my sister/nephew's birthdays.  I tell her I can't, I have something else in the day/evening, hence the Sunday lunch with dad/stepmom.  Keep in mind, I was just at my mom's for a brief visit last weekend, so it's not like she hasn't seen me in 2 years (yet she never comes to me).  Her reaction was basically:

tenor.gif?itemid=12306395

"Wow.  Your mother, WHO DOES EVERYTHING FOR YOU, doesn't even warrant a visit by her own children? Just wow.....

By the way, are you coming for Thanksgiving? I think you should reconsider your stance on it."

Not a chance in hell, lady. 

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My birthday is later this month & falls on Thanksgiving occasionally. My wife's is late December. We've made it clear to family that since we both experienced so many combination birthday-holiday parties as kids we aren't doing that shit. Not having kids of our own makes it much easier on us since we're not obligated to drive them all over Texas at the holidays. We put our collective foot down years ago & declared we would always wake up xmas morning in our bed, & we will celebrate our birthdays the way we want to.

I've made an attempt to placate the bitch SIL and got us a block of tix at Zach Scott for A Christmas Carol. Told them we'd treat the family on the 23rd. My wife is taking her PMP exam on the 22nd so she's studying her ass off every waking moment & will likely be frazzled by the time it's over. SIL is trying to make this a full day event including meals, trail of lights, last minute shopping, etc. Nothing can be just a fun, casual, relaxing time for her. She always has to over plan, try to cram 20 things into 1 event which never works. The end result is a bunch of tired, pissed off family members who leave in a foul mood.

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40 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

This is always one of my favorite threads.  Usually, I just kick back and enjoy some schadenfreude while reading other people's stories.  But this year is different.  My wife and I have been on the outs for a while now.  I won't go into too much detail, but it suffices to say that career choices have had a huge impact on our relationship. 

My wife's career has really taken off and she decided without really consulting me to take a high profile position with an Asian conglomerate based in LA while I stayed back east.  I'm in law enforcement, and she complains that I can never "turn it off" and that it seems like I am always on duty.  Since she left, my drinking has gotten worse and some say I'm two steps from becoming a full-blown alcoholic.

Anyway, she calls me up a couple of days ago and invites me to come out and spend the holidays with her and the kids.  She's even invited me to her company's Christmas party.  "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs" she says.  At least she's sending a limo to pick me up at the airport, so that's cool.    

Bring extra shoes.

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I'm just waiting for the inevitable call from the Father in Law making my wife cry and forcing the eventual visit to his house at some point around either Thanksgiving or Christmas(maybe both).  I'll get to sit there as his racist ass says things that he claims aren't racist, and say "I hope that doesn't offend you".  Great times.

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I don't even want to start explaining...

All the in-laws are coming to my house for Thanksgiving.

And Christmas is going to be worse, because it's going to be my whole family getting together which I'm only acquiescing to because parents are not for long.  Stay tuned.

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21 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

My mother is an extreme narcissist/manipulator, to the point where up until recently, I was the only of her children that hadn't cut her off. Every holiday is a complete stress bomb where she demands that we spend both holidays (Thanksgiving/Christmas) with her. Completely unreasonable given that both my parents and my wife's are divorced, so we've got four families to cater to every holiday, scattered from Waco to New Braunfels. Every god damn year we swear we aren't caving, and every year we end up driving from Austin to Waco to New Braunfels to Wimberley in 24-48 hours on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mostly to appease her, and because all of our parents, save my dad, host their own holiday and refuse to drive to anyone.

Anyway, she was an absolute terror during my wife's recent pregnancy (baby born in September). Threw a legitimate fit like you'd see a child throw because I pushed back on her inviting 10+ people to my baby shower, that my wife either don't know, or barely know. Decided to stop participating, and didn't show up to the baby shower of her first and only grandchild. Threw another shit fit when I told her that we didn't want family in the room for the baby's delivery (they could come after we moved into recovery). Then, the final meltdown came because of social media. I texted her saying we were on our way to the hospital, and she immediately posted on Facebook that she was going to be a grandma tonight - before we had a chance to tell even the rest of our immediately family. My wife's dad found out we were having a baby via that post. We managed to calm it down, but that's the type of stress you don't need the day and day after you deliver a kid. When I told her that was inconsiderate, she had a complete meltdown, and told me that she was done with me. On the day my son was born.

So anyway, that's not really related to the holidays, but that's my vent.

On the bright side, now that we have the baby, we're drawing a line in the sand on the holidays. All of the family has been notified that for Thanksgiving, we pre-ordered a brisket and some other stuff from Franklin's and will load up on wine and booze. We aren't leaving the house. If anyone wants to come by, that's great, come on by. But don't ask me about side dishes or timing or plans, because there are none, except to drink, eat, and watch football at some point. We're doing the same for Christmas. Frankly, we don't give a shit if anyone even shows. I'm sort of hoping that nobody does, except maybe my dad, her mom, and my brothers, AKA  the sane wing of my extended family.

First time I've looked forward to the holidays in at least 20 years. Fuckin' eh right.

 

 

If you have Franklin's brisket, I'll stop by. I'm pretty drama free....

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2 hours ago, BradInATX said:

My mother is an extreme narcissist/manipulator, to the point where up until recently, I was the only of her children that hadn't cut her off. Every holiday is a complete stress bomb where she demands that we spend both holidays (Thanksgiving/Christmas) with her. Completely unreasonable given that both my parents and my wife's are divorced, so we've got four families to cater to every holiday, scattered from Waco to New Braunfels. Every god damn year we swear we aren't caving, and every year we end up driving from Austin to Waco to New Braunfels to Wimberley in 24-48 hours on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mostly to appease her, and because all of our parents, save my dad, host their own holiday and refuse to drive to anyone.

Anyway, she was an absolute terror during my wife's recent pregnancy (baby born in September). Threw a legitimate fit like you'd see a child throw because I pushed back on her inviting 10+ people to my baby shower, that my wife either don't know, or barely know. Decided to stop participating, and didn't show up to the baby shower of her first and only grandchild. Threw another shit fit when I told her that we didn't want family in the room for the baby's delivery (they could come after we moved into recovery). Then, the final meltdown came because of social media. I texted her saying we were on our way to the hospital, and she immediately posted on Facebook that she was going to be a grandma tonight - before we had a chance to tell even the rest of our immediately family. My wife's dad found out we were having a baby via that post. We managed to calm it down, but that's the type of stress you don't need the day and day after you deliver a kid. When I told her that was inconsiderate, she had a complete meltdown, and told me that she was done with me. On the day my son was born.

So anyway, that's not really related to the holidays, but that's my vent.

On the bright side, now that we have the baby, we're drawing a line in the sand on the holidays. All of the family has been notified that for Thanksgiving, we pre-ordered a brisket and some other stuff from Franklin's and will load up on wine and booze. We aren't leaving the house. If anyone wants to come by, that's great, come on by. But don't ask me about side dishes or timing or plans, because there are none, except to drink, eat, and watch football at some point. We're doing the same for Christmas. Frankly, we don't give a shit if anyone even shows. I'm sort of hoping that nobody does, except maybe my dad, her mom, and my brothers, AKA  the sane wing of my extended family.

First time I've looked forward to the holidays in at least 20 years. Fuckin' eh right.

 

 

I know you can disown a child. There must be something like that for a parent.

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3 hours ago, BradInATX said:

My mother is an extreme narcissist/manipulator, to the point where up until recently, I was the only of her children that hadn't cut her off. Every holiday is a complete stress bomb where she demands that we spend both holidays (Thanksgiving/Christmas) with her. Completely unreasonable given that both my parents and my wife's are divorced, so we've got four families to cater to every holiday, scattered from Waco to New Braunfels. Every god damn year we swear we aren't caving, and every year we end up driving from Austin to Waco to New Braunfels to Wimberley in 24-48 hours on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mostly to appease her, and because all of our parents, save my dad, host their own holiday and refuse to drive to anyone.

Anyway, she was an absolute terror during my wife's recent pregnancy (baby born in September). Threw a legitimate fit like you'd see a child throw because I pushed back on her inviting 10+ people to my baby shower, that my wife either don't know, or barely know. Decided to stop participating, and didn't show up to the baby shower of her first and only grandchild. Threw another shit fit when I told her that we didn't want family in the room for the baby's delivery (they could come after we moved into recovery). Then, the final meltdown came because of social media. I texted her saying we were on our way to the hospital, and she immediately posted on Facebook that she was going to be a grandma tonight - before we had a chance to tell even the rest of our immediately family. My wife's dad found out we were having a baby via that post. We managed to calm it down, but that's the type of stress you don't need the day and day after you deliver a kid. When I told her that was inconsiderate, she had a complete meltdown, and told me that she was done with me. On the day my son was born.

So anyway, that's not really related to the holidays, but that's my vent.

On the bright side, now that we have the baby, we're drawing a line in the sand on the holidays. All of the family has been notified that for Thanksgiving, we pre-ordered a brisket and some other stuff from Franklin's and will load up on wine and booze. We aren't leaving the house. If anyone wants to come by, that's great, come on by. But don't ask me about side dishes or timing or plans, because there are none, except to drink, eat, and watch football at some point. We're doing the same for Christmas. Frankly, we don't give a shit if anyone even shows. I'm sort of hoping that nobody does, except maybe my dad, her mom, and my brothers, AKA  the sane wing of my extended family.

First time I've looked forward to the holidays in at least 20 years. Fuckin' eh right.

 

 

I’m in.  I’ll bring a couple bottles of Prisoner and a bottle of Old Forrester 1920.   

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We were all set to sail out to Catalina and have Thanksgiving with just my little family at the Harbor Reef restaurant.  Was to be glorious.  But my BIL, who was planning on getting married in the spring in Lafayette, LA, called to say his fiance's mom has pancreatic cancer and is on the clock, so they have moved it up to Thanksgiving weekend.  So we are flying out there.  Should be interesting.  

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Thanksgiving is a holy day for me because I own the kitchen like some Iron Chef Ninja Warrior. I usually spend weeks planning, prepping, and cooking and everyone / anyone is invited cuz I love it. 

A relocation a few weeks ago finds us in an apartment while we wait on a house. Living situation is fairly primitive. Given the opportunity, I could still pull a Thanksgiving out of my ass, but.....

The consensus is to visit my wife’s (no pics) 94 year old grandmother (also no pics) and hang out on the outskirts of Jacksonville, TX with random family there.  The in-laws asked if I wanted to help plan the festivities, given my T-day proclivities. No thanks. Leave me out of it. 

We can’t cook. No one in the family has a properly working kitchen. Don’t get me started. 

We can’t go out. The olds don’t like to go out. And where the fuck you gonna go anyway?

We can’t find catering. 

We don’t even have reliable options for heating shit up if we happened to actually bring stuff. 

So...what is there to plan?

All I know is, I’m bringing a goddam flask to a Pentacostal family holiday. This Thanksgiving is gonna blow. 

Edited by After irth
Stupid iPhone keyboard
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19 minutes ago, After irth said:

Thanksgiving is a holy day for me because I own the kitchen like some Iron Chef Ninja Warrior. I usually spend weeks planning, prepping, and cooking and everyone / anyone is invited cuz I love it. 

A relocation a few weeks ago finds us in an apartment while we wait on a house. Living situation is fairly primitive. Given the opportunity, I could still pull a Thanksgiving out of my ass, but.....

The consensus is to visit my wife’s (no pics) 94 year old grandmother (also no pics) and hang out on the outskirts of Jacksonville, TX with random family there.  The in-laws asked if I wanted to help plan the festivities, given my T-day proclivities. No thanks. Leave me out of it. 

We can’t cook. No one in the family has a properly working kitchen. Don’t get me started. 

We can’t go out. The olds don’t like to go out. And where the fuck you gonna go anyway?

We can’t find catering. 

We don’t even have reliable options for heating shit up if we happened to actually bring stuff. 

So...what is there to plan?

All I know is, I’m bringing a goddam flask to a Pentacostal family holiday. This Thanksgiving is gonna blow. 

kfc-festive-feast-deal-review.jpg

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My in-laws' ranch is outside of Harper so not too far from you, Hate. They had some damage to their road during the recent flood and the FIL managed to bust a tie-rod on his F-150 plus booger up his ATV trying to cross shit he had no business trying to cross. Wife talked to her mom during the worst of it & she reported that they were OK because neighbors were able to bring them some eggs plus a carton of cigs for the FIL so crisis was averted. Lol.

To our benefit, the in-laws hate hosting events out at the ranch & we haven't done Thanksgiving out there in years. In fact, it's been just over 2 years since we visited, due in large part to my drunken FIL pointing a loaded pistol at both his daughter (my wife) and me while unholstering it the last time we were there. Good times.

Edited by GhostOfTomJoad
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This is by far my favorite thread of the year. 

My sister is a complete bitch. Holidays make it worse. She is the type that posts shit on Facebook in October about being excited that the Hallmark channel will soon be showing 55 straight days of Christmas movies. Or whatever the fuck that channel does. 

She is so full of shit. In real life, she usually brings my mom to tears each Christmas. It’s a complete shit show. I dread it. My wife, kids and I go simply for my mom. 

This year my sis scheduled some sort of family portrait thing the Tuesday before thanksgiving. I 100% guarantee it will be a disaster and people will leave pissed off with several in tears. Going to be a horrible start to the holidays. 

But we go to my wife’s side the day after, and they kick ass. Can’t wait. Christmas is even better, because her mom pays for hotel rooms for all adults for one night while she watches all the grandkids. We get to go bar hopping for the night, getting shit faced liked we did when we were in our 20’s. 

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44 minutes ago, YoungCounty said:

 Christmas is even better, because her mom pays for hotel rooms for all adults for one night while she watches all the grandkids. We get to go bar hopping for the night, getting shit faced liked we did when we were in our 20’s. 

Holy shit.  Is your wife's mom adopting?  I'm clean and mostly housebroken.

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Thanksgiving, we’re going to the beach.

Christmas/New Year’s, we’re going to the beach.

We did negotiate with terrorists (i.e. our mothers) to fly back on the 23rd for a couple of days before going back to the beach on the 26th. We’re leaving to go down for 3 weeks the day of my office Christmas party which does help dull the pain of actually coming back for Christmas.

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56 minutes ago, YoungCounty said:

But we go to my wife’s side the day after, and they kick ass. Can’t wait. Christmas is even better, because her mom pays for hotel rooms for all adults for one night while she watches all the grandkids. We get to go bar hopping for the night, getting shit faced liked we did when we were in our 20’s. 

Damn you hit the in-law lottery. Your wife could be ugly as fuck and it would still be a win for you. 

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But we go to my wife’s side the day after, and they kick ass. Can’t wait. Christmas is even better, because her mom pays for hotel rooms for all adults for one night while she watches all the grandkids. We get to go bar hopping for the night, getting shit faced liked we did when we were in our 20’s. 


LOL your MIL is paying for you to fuck her daughter.
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My birthday is later this month & falls on Thanksgiving occasionally. My wife's is late December. We've made it clear to family that since we both experienced so many combination birthday-holiday parties as kids we aren't doing that shit. Not having kids of our own makes it much easier on us since we're not obligated to drive them all over Texas at the holidays. We put our collective foot down years ago & declared we would always wake up xmas morning in our bed, & we will celebrate our birthdays the way we want to.

I've made an attempt to placate the bitch SIL and got us a block of tix at Zach Scott for A Christmas Carol. Told them we'd treat the family on the 23rd. My wife is taking her PMP exam on the 22nd so she's studying her ass off every waking moment & will likely be frazzled by the time it's over. SIL is trying to make this a full day event including meals, trail of lights, last minute shopping, etc. Nothing can be just a fun, casual, relaxing time for her. She always has to over plan, try to cram 20 things into 1 event which never works. The end result is a bunch of tired, pissed off family members who leave in a foul mood.
Your wife is taking an exam to be a pimp?
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This is always one of my favorite threads.  Usually, I just kick back and enjoy some schadenfreude while reading other people's stories.  But this year is different.  My wife and I have been on the outs for a while now.  I won't go into too much detail, but it suffices to say that career choices have had a huge impact on our relationship. 
My wife's career has really taken off and she decided without really consulting me to take a high profile position with an Asian conglomerate based in LA while I stayed back east.  I'm in law enforcement, and she complains that I can never "turn it off" and that it seems like I am always on duty.  Since she left, my drinking has gotten worse and some say I'm two steps from becoming a full-blown alcoholic.
Anyway, she calls me up a couple of days ago and invites me to come out and spend the holidays with her and the kids.  She's even invited me to her company's Christmas party.  "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs" she says.  At least she's sending a limo to pick me up at the airport, so that's cool.    
You went from driving a shuttle bus to being in law enforcement?

575be37519b13804b4869c90d1de863a.jpgff604aeaeb2215465c34b5ec7e4ffd08.gifb2d67e191251df0b75ff3e66b48948ed.gif
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Thanksgiving, we’re going to the beach.
Christmas/New Year’s, we’re going to the beach.
We did negotiate with terrorists (i.e. our mothers) to fly back on the 23rd for a couple of days before going back to the beach on the 26th. We’re leaving to go down for 3 weeks the day of my office Christmas party which does help dull the pain of actually coming back for Christmas.
Which beach?
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13 hours ago, After irth said:

Thanksgiving is a holy day for me because I own the kitchen like some Iron Chef Ninja Warrior. I usually spend weeks planning, prepping, and cooking and everyone / anyone is invited cuz I love it. 

A relocation a few weeks ago finds us in an apartment while we wait on a house. Living situation is fairly primitive. Given the opportunity, I could still pull a Thanksgiving out of my ass, but.....

The consensus is to visit my wife’s (no pics) 94 year old grandmother (also no pics) and hang out on the outskirts of Jacksonville, TX with random family there.  The in-laws asked if I wanted to help plan the festivities, given my T-day proclivities. No thanks. Leave me out of it. 

We can’t cook. No one in the family has a properly working kitchen. Don’t get me started. 

We can’t go out. The olds don’t like to go out. And where the fuck you gonna go anyway?

We can’t find catering. 

We don’t even have reliable options for heating shit up if we happened to actually bring stuff. 

So...what is there to plan?

All I know is, I’m bringing a goddam flask to a Pentacostal family holiday. This Thanksgiving is gonna blow. 

How have they managed to not starve to death already?

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This literally sounds like the worst thing ever. Please report back on how it goes. 
Oh yeah, the horrible possibilities are endless. Someone will try to demand that everyone wear the exact same thing. Someone will be pissed off about where they're seated in the pic. A young baby is gonna puke on an old relative just before the shoot.

Popcorn gif goes here.
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18 hours ago, Hate said:

This is hands down the best thread of the year. I don’t envy any of you with family drama. I’ll spend Thanksgiving on the shores of Lake Buchanan at my Grandparents house. We will eat tons of food, watch football all day long, drinks lots and lots of alcohol and then have a fire on the beach at night.

For Christmas, we will go to my wife’s family ranch our near Junction where we will eat lots of food, drink lots of alcohol, watch lots of football, and shoot lots of guns.

I fucking love the holidays.

You're like the single assholes posting in the Stupid Shit My Wife Does thread.  Get the fuck out of here with this shit.  This thread is reserved for those of us with fucked up families.

 

We will be hiding from my family for the holidays this year in the mountains, much as we did last year.  Can't fucking stand my siblings and everyone's passive aggressive bullshit.  I think they took the wrong baby home from the hospital because my mom, dad, brother and sister are all such bitches that nobody will ever tell anyone else what is bothering them.  Everyone chokes it down.  But not me.  So I'm not a favorite because I'll tell them all exactly what I'm thinking when I have a problem.  You can say this has caused no small amount of tension in the family.  To the point where I just don't want to be around any of them.  So I'll ski, drink and hang with my immediate family, who I love being around.

Edited by Chewbacca
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This year should be interesting.  Pop remarried last December and while I like the Step, I don't like her leachy daughter and no boundary having grandson she caters to at every whim.  Stepmom is not very much like my Mom so it is still a little odd.  

We have 2 young kids and they live about 90 minutes away.  They have asked us to come over to their place.  Pop has never asked before so I know this is coming from the step-side because they are completely inconsiderate of other people.  My wife's side is hosting and that is about 50 people in a big house outside Dallas.  I'm angling to go after lunch for dinner so that hopefully the daughter and grandson are gone back home.   

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You poor bastards who have to try and make two Thanksgiving meals in one day must be gluttons for punishment.

I remember being carted around as a kid in MN between both sets of grandparents but that was only about twenty miles total round trip from our house. Of course the weather made it dicey at times. Lemme pour out some in respect of our '73 Plymouth Suburban station wagon with the 440 V8 getting us through the snow and ice.

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So the 'Rents are pestering me to ride with them up to Grandma's place in shit fuck Texas where there is no place to stay so it will be a 6 hour round trip stuck in a car with my Trumpite parents going on and on about how Beetoe lost cause yeehaw, Texans know better, white power, obnoxious fox news horse shit. 

Fuck

That

Shit

I honestly think I would leave their bodies in a Buc-ees bathroom. 

Edited by MissingInAction
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