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There is no way I come from your loins.


CoTex

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I always thought we were pretty normal.

Parents divorced.  When I was about 10 one of my mother's friends gave her a cat for a gift.  This was some persian, himalayan, high-bred showcat.  It was supposably a big deal.  I remember being told to not shoot my slingshot (I bought it in concan and was lethal with it), at the showcat. 

My mom named the cat "Fancy."  Whatever, keep your cat away from my slingshot and we'll all get along fine.

Yesterday (over thirty years later) my wife asked my mother "what were the names of pets you had with your children growing up?"  She's trying to find a pet name and was just making small talk with my mom.

Mom responds with all the names over the years and adds in "Fantasy."  I said "WTF?"  And she responded "We called the cat "Fancy" for a nickname, but her real name was "Fantasy."  

Mom, you're weird, I'm embarrassed for us all, and no wonder I had those awkward years - I'm sure all of my friends' parents told them to stay the fuck away from our place because you were sick.

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When I was about 8, my dad decided he was going to buy a car with a pussy magnet, so he bought a used TR6, which was basically a cheap piece-of-shit british car for midgets.

There was something wrong with it so he decided he was going to upgrade the wiring in that car.

There was a medium sized fire, and no more pussy magnet.

Next stop - cc08f6a0381c336b6b4c1697b3f00415.jpg

All the pussy magnet with none of the fire risk.  

Edited by CoTex
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1981 - Dad wants to climb the status ladder - we’re going to be yachtsmen.

77s-03.jpg

We got the blue version of the yellow craft in the middle.

good work dad.  At least you didn’t buy Apple stock, or Berkshire Hathaway.  This was clearly the better investment.

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You couldn’t see spending the rest of your life with your head hung down in shame?

 

You know you might’ve been born just plain white trash, but Fancy is your name!

 

Here’s your one chance Fancy, don’t let us down.

 

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29 minutes ago, boknowstecmo said:

You're embarrassed to be your mother's son because she named her cat Fancy? What are you, a character in the Sopranos? 

Fantasy fuckstick.  Fancy was the nickname.

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