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40
I'm graduating after 20 years
I also have had those kinds of dreams about waiting tables before, haha. What made these so much worse is that they weren't simply nightmares. Normally when you have those dreams, you wake up and are thankful that they were just a dream and it wasn't real. For me, I was waking up to the same nightmare. It was like I couldn't even find peace in sleep, there was no where I could go for respite from the constant shame and disappointment. It was like my own subconscious poking at my most sensitive wound. It really, really sucked, and I'm so glad I haven't had that dream in a while now. Cums for short. "You're killing me, Cums!" YES! I actually speak Spanish! I took Japanese because my mom urged me to take a different language, to get something out of the money I was spending at Texas. Very bad decision. When I was doing the rapid-fire minimesters at HCC, I should have just switched to Spanish. By the time I realized it, I was out of money and dead broke. I do still remember some very, very basic stuff. テレビを見ている. But by JPN3, we're expected to read books and write essays, and I could not do that to save my life. -
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I'm graduating after 20 years
I already knew about that back then, that's what I came to discuss with my counselor when the JPN professor retired and I was stuck. The reason I had that art appreciation course under my belt was because that was my original major's degree requirement, 2 foreign language plus a cultural course. I asked her if we could try to see if the university would let me sub in the cultural course considering the circumstances, and she simply said no. Today, with the benefit of hindsight from actually going through the process, I now know it wasn't actually the counselor's place to tell me no. They advise you, but they don't make the actual decisions. You're supposed to petition to see if it'll count, and the university makes a decision. They'll normally go with whatever the counselor is advising, but it's ultimately not their call. So my counselor straight up telling me no was her being very bad at her job. When my new counselor told me I could take a cultural course, I was locked and loaded ready to go. I remember my hairs on my legs standing up on end when I read her email suggesting it, I was so excited. I try not to think about the decade+ lost. The job opportunities that passed me up. I can't do anything about that, and concentrating on it will just make me angry. I'm in such a good mood these days that I don't want to ruin my excitement over the future by ruminating the past. I chalk it up to a life lesson and a unique story now, completely at peace with it. My new counselor was wonderful, btw. She put in a lot of work for me, the entire time she was actively looking for ways to get me my degree. I actually found out I was approved for graduation from her before the university sent notice. I got a buzz on my phone that an email came in with the subject title "You're awesome!" Inside was her congratulating me and telling me that I had done it. I honestly hope I can somehow meet her in May and tell her thanks face to face. She'll always have a special place in my heart going forward, she made a major impact on my future. -
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