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GhostOfTomJoad

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by GhostOfTomJoad

  1. Lulz. Well, I guess 45+ years ago as a kid in MN my grampa didn't have time for all of the etiquette. When his hands hit his knees it everyone was heading for the door like the building was on fire. Greatest memory of Grampa was watching as he and Gramma pulled up in their big Chrysler New Yorker. Except they didn't stop. They slowed, and then drove off. I watched this from the living room window and called out "hey Dad, Gram and Grampa just drove by and left. Aren't they coming for dinner?" My old man responded by asking me what time it was. I glanced at the clock and said "4 o'clock." He said "look at it again. What's the EXACT time." It was like 3:58. He said "when it's 4 o'clock on the dot, they'll be here." Sure enough, Gramps just drove around the block, pulled in at 4, and when they came in the house he checked his watch against our wall clock to make sure they were in sync.
  2. Once you've uttered "welp, I s'pose" after placing your hands on your knees in a Midwestern home you're required to exit within 90 seconds. It's damn near law in Minnesota! How could they violate this rule?
  3. The gold standard. It will definitely be missed.
  4. Nah. I just have to promise not to let the nephew get too drunk on mimosas because he & his sister are going to their mom's immediately afterwards. Like it's my responsibility to keep a junior in college from drinking too much before visiting his overly high strung mom?
  5. Man, that really sucks. Glad your wife and daughter are ok. And fuck the guilty lady with a rusty nail. Sounds like a piece of shit. Hell, the stranger who hit me couldn't be nicer. She was crying over what she had done & genuinely contrite. We've exchanged text messages a few times just checking in & making sure everything is ok, making sure insurance info is correct, etc. She's actually restored some of my faith in their being good, responsible people out there. I just found out yesterday that our adult niece & nephew are coming by on Christmas eve for a pancake brunch & mimosas. That will be fun. But now it's time for me to go pick up the HEB curbside order. Something tells me they'll be busier than most Saturday 7AM slots.
  6. Oooh, she just dropped a BIG HINT. Remember to act really surprised when you unwrap that book on Christmas morning.
  7. Not family, but nothing like having a lady t-bone my front end near the Domain today as I returned from the office holiday party. Apparently I caused confusion by using my turn signal. No injuries and she was terribly concerned and took full responsibility so about as easy of a bad situation as you can have. But now we'll get to spend the holidays wondering if they'll total my pristine car w/ less than 48K miles on it because the side airbags--but not steering wheel--deployed. I'd tie a good one on tonight but I've gotta work tomorrow.
  8. Thanks for the reminder. Will definitely watch this.
  9. Racist Daniel Figurelli must be running out of conspiracy theories to explain why Texas is drinking up aggy's milkshake today.
  10. You're basically paying thirty bucks to take e-waste off of RCA's hands.
  11. After a few hundred pics with that look on his face someone said "here, put these Blue Blocker XL shades on" as an act of mercy.
  12. You mean WHEN he gets elected, right? Because it's totally going to happen.
  13. Nebraska had one reason to be hopeful before yet another long, cold, bitter winter: their women providing them some oride in the form of a championship in volleyball [emoji968] Oh well. Texas--for the umpteenth time--was significantly better in every facet of the game. Our women get to celebrate their championship for a 2nd consecutive year while enjoying the spoils & comforts that co.e with being a winner in Austin. [emoji869] Fuck off, corn.
  14. Doesn't even rank in the top 200 choke jobs of all times by the Vikes. FML.
  15. That was Bengal on Bengal violence!
  16. Are you kidding me?
  17. I'll raise a toast the day he has a career ending injury. POS deserves a compound fracture that makes Theismann's break look like a hang nail.
  18. Mullen's two braindead INTs in the 1st half with the Vikes in easy FG range are going to bite them in the ass.
  19. Would legit wear this as a t-shirt if the proceeds went to PP and other reproductive rights initiatives.
  20. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. OK, fuck that. But in the summer of '88--3 days after I'd graduated from HS--I got a job a summer job as a custodian at the company my old man worked for. They had a program where HS grads and college students could get a 3 month job doing the shit that's now farmed out to subs across the land: mailroom, cafeteria, security, janitorial, etc. You pretty much had to be at least a sophomore in college to get the security gig which was the best: highest pay, plenty of OT, get paid to do homework. I didn't start UT until the fall so I was stuck cleaning floors and emptying the trash. Which wasn't so bad, really. But I came on about 6 weeks before their new, massive campus was opening up just north of Tumbleweed hill. Which was out in the middle of BFE back then. 1.2 million square feet of still under construction R&D space. Our first job? Clean the bathrooms. All 32 sets of them. This is when I discovered that construction workers can apparently piss and shit anywhere, at any height or angle imaginable. They didn't care that the plumbing wasn't working. If there was a urinal, commode, sink or fucking water fountain it was a repository for bodily fluids. Additionally, they liked instructing the foremen they hated the most how they should suck their dicks, fuck their mothers, and eat shit & die in english, spanish and/or spanglish by writing it on the walls...in their own shit. Quite a feat, actually. I was 18, 6'1 and 165 lbs soaking wet and I couldn't wrap myself in enough Tyvek and gloves. We used every industrial strength cleaning chemical known to man to try and clean that shit. There were 2 or 3 other kids like me, plus a handful of "professional" janitors who were probably about 35 but looked like they were 90 to us. They'd walk into any spot without a fucking bit of PPE on because that would make it harder for them to smoke their cigs. I spent a solid month scraping, cleaning and washing away shit. On the bright side, I was making $9/hr which was a king's ransom for a HS kid with a fake ID in those days. The place had multiple locker rooms (which we cleaned first and were kept spotless). We'd work 3P - 11P, clean up, and could get from Four Points to Pearls in 15 minutes. 6th Street wasn't much longer of a drive. In retrospect, that might have been my best job. The shit I dealt with then was a lot more honorable and direct than the corporate bullshit I spent the following 35+ years being covered in.
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