Oh fuck y'all. I've been chasing a nice listing for several weeks. A friend of the GF. She's gonna sell a super-nice condo, downsize a bit, get away from HOA fees, and bank her 250,000 exemption. I got the listing today, just as the summer sales season is winding down and the kids are starting school. Oh well, not much inventory, her unit is super nice, and I can sell it anyway, and probably get a record price for the complex.
Meanwhile, I've been looking at replacement units for her. There's an over-55 complex that she likes, so I've been showing her houses in there for a month or so.
I usually take Mondays off for yardwork, personal errands, home maintenance, etc. Two Mondays ago, I'm heading to Home Depot, wearing a paint-stained Strickland Propane T Shirt, dirty shorts, and flip flops. I get an alert that there's a new listing in the over 55. I'm heading in that direction, so I decide to go preview it. I pull up, and a woman is peeking through the windows. She sees me and says "are you the owner". Nah, I explain that I'm a sloppy realtor on his day off, apologize for my appearance, and tell her I was heading to Home Depot for mulch. I open the lockbox and invite her in.
We look at the home together, she asks me about other neighborhood listings, and says "you're very knowledgeable...may I have your card".. Sure.
Fast forward a week. My family suffers a horrible loss; a tragic death of a younger guy that's near and dear to me and nearer and dearer to the GF. It's a kick in the nuts. It's bad.
I get a call from the window-peeker. She wants to see another listing. I tell her that I'm living in upside-down land, and tell her the only time I can show her is at 7 AM. She says "fine". We do the showing, she asks me to write at 20k over asking, all cash, and sends bank statements. The seller is a local monastery. The homeowner died Elvis-style, on the shitter, and wasn't found for several days. I've got a copy of the bio-hazard cleanup invoice...15,000.
His family donated the home to the monastery.
Listing agent puts on the MLS all the shitter death info, and says all offers will be reviewed after day 7 of the listing. I call the dude, and he's straight-up old-school. Says "I will not represent any buyers on this deal". "I'll play it fair and square", and something in his voice makes me believe him
So, we get an offer together, I send it over, and the agent responds that I'm offer #9.
Shit. I confer with windowpeeker, and we agree to keep looking. This morning I show her another listing that she likes, but not as much as Elvis-shitterdeath unit. We do the showing, crunch some numbers, and, this unit is tenant-occupied by an elderly couple, which complicates matters. We discuss several scenarios, but she tells me that she still prefers the Elvis unit if she can get it.
I explain to her that I cannot write on the second deal with the offer out on the first because it's unethical. I tell her I'll call the agent on the Elvis Shitter house and see which way the wind is blowing. I call the guy...Mr. Old School, and say hey, are we in the game here, because if not I'm sending you a withdrawal of offer notice so my client can move on. He says yeah, your offer is very strong and you're very much in the game and very well might win.
I call windowpeeker and she says fuck it, I'll buy both, and sends me Proof of Funds that she can buy both.
Oh boy. Today I listed $895,000 and have cash offers out totaling over a million. It's the worst week I can imagine personally, and as good as it gets professionally.