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TexArcher

Certifiably Surly
  • Posts

    28121
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    20

Everything posted by TexArcher

  1. First death of the year at the ballpark.
  2. As in Mississippi-13? There were about 15 of that guy at the Beau Rivage. Trust me when I say that you haven't lived until you've bluffed a pot off of one of them and shown your rags.
  3. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
  4. 15+ minutes to salvage a point out of this...
  5. 3rd minute goal for Fulham waived off by offside. Might be our day!!
  6. And an entire rotation of starters on the IL.
  7. Yeah, Abreu kicks that thing into the corner, lol. Nice play, Walker.
  8. Agreed. Slumps are always magnified at the beginning of the season. He'll come around. And he's an asset at 1B even when he's not hitting.
  9. ¡¡¡El bloopo!!! ¡Qué bueno!
  10. People who start the wave have little dicks.
  11. Sure would be cool if that's the start of Walker doing whatever the opposite of regressing to the mean is called.
  12. How about a 2-run bomb, Yordan, sí? Fuck, I thought he'd answered!!
  13. Good. We can shove it up their redneck asses on a regular basis.
  14. Closet homosexual, small dick, knows he'll never amount to anything and is pretty sure it's brown people's fault even though he's been below average in his all-white suburban classrooms his whole life, thinks the brown Jews killed White Jesus, has almost certainly paid for an abortion (thank you, universe) even though he firmly and unironically believes that women who have abortions are sinners who will burn in Hell, etc.
  15. Holy shit, I'm going to Buenos Aires in two weeks. I hope they do search my phone and find all of my online words. I'll tell that fat chunk of shit to his face if he'll grant me an audience.
  16. Oh, the people behind the scenes -- the Mnuchins, Millers, Bannons, etc -- are plenty smart enough. And the GOP has been actively working to make America lazier, fatter, and especially dumber. I don't believe that they just lucked into this. I'd rather believe that, honestly, but I can't.
  17. Yeah, I get all of that. But it always seemed like it was about buying elections. I mean, that's what we all thought. What I'm saying is that I now think this entire fascist gameplan goes back at least 30 years, and a part of it was controlling the gun nuts so completely that they'd never have to worry about them rising up when it got to the final implementation. It might actually be the longest long game ever played. I think they knew what the end game would be all the way back when they founded Fox News. See also: pumping their horde full of every conspiracy theory they could think of so that they'd miss the biggest conspiracy of all right under their noses. Every accusation really is a confession.
  18. TexArcher

    Bert!

  19. Random Awful Realization of the Day: All this time, we thought the GOP was using the NRA money and gun lobby to win elections. In hindsight, that was a secondary benefit. What they were chiefly doing was making sure that the armed contingent of Americans was firmly in their corner. These are the people who have wet dreams about taking up arms against a tyrannical government. How do you create a tyrannical government and not have to face that? You support their right to bear arms. You back them, vehemently, so that they come into your fold wholeheartedly, where you can indoctrinate them so completely, over the course of about thirty years, that they won't even be able to tell that you've instituted a tyrannical regime until it's too late. You subjugate them last.
  20. Thoughts, prayers, freedom fries, fuck it
  21. No better way to ride off into the sunset than trolling the Buckeye fans. Do it, Coach.
  22. Oh, please don't leave white females out of it...
  23. A lot of us called Trump's win, and the reasons for it, well ahead of time. Not exactly something to take a victory lap over.
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