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TexArcher

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by TexArcher

  1. Aggy could have the 1985 Bears roster coached by Bear Bryant with a literal bear at defensive tackle and they'd still lose at least 4 games.
  2. I mean, photos of Latino women and children in cages didn't. I'm not sure this will, either. But we may also be past the point where they have to pretend to give a shit what voters think anyway.
  3. They could see video of Trump waving his dick around in front of a room full of boys and they would say the video was doctored as part of a smear campaign. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch. A lot of these people still believe the earth is only 6,000 years old and all of the genetic diversity of mankind came from one man and one woman. Evidence doesn't mean shit to these people.
  4. "See, it's totally normal!" -- Aggy Corps, probably
  5. Bless your heart...
  6. I can't wait until he re-hires all the DOGE layoffs and claims to have created X amount of new jobs. He will refer to the resulting increase in federal government spending as "the biggest jobs creation initiative in history." We'll end up paying more for the exact same workforce. And 40% of the country will cheer.
  7. Lookie -- nuclear war! You know, a lot of people are saying it's the biggest news story of the 21st Century. I don't know, but that's what they're saying. Thank you for your attention to this matter, and not to any other matters, thank you, covfefe, good night.
  8. So, you trade a pitcher for a better pitcher, and to even it out you also get 3 prospects? Please hold.
  9. You stand to lose everything! Call it.
  10. Y'all keep talking shit about the lineup!
  11. Exactly. You're breaking your own cardinal rule about long-term deals with a guy that you know, for a fact, has injury issues. The only way this makes any sense is if the other guys are eating at least half of his remaining deal. Otherwise, it begs questions like why didn't we keep Tucker or Bregs? And yes, I am open to Correa coming back and hitting .425 with 6 bombs in a World Series run to shut me the fuck up. But I think we all know it's more likely that he's on the IL next to LMJ by that point.
  12. Honestly, Correa is something you do to sell tickets and jerseys. You can't honestly say it's about making a playoff run when there is no guarantee he'll be available (or hitting) in several more weeks.
  13. All of this. I like Suarez best out of those 3 options, but none of them enchubbens me at all.
  14. Right. That was Year 1 of Texas Backness. This is Fully Operational Death Star Year 3 of Texas Backness.
  15. Ranger Fan: The Astros are a bunch of cheaters! Astro Fan: So are the Rangers. Ranger Fan: Yeah, but so are the Astros! Astro Fan: Thanks for starting this awesome conversation again. Also, DFW is a shithole.
  16. The wounded NYPD officer is confirmed dead. Fuck you very much, Republicans.
  17. Man, these MS-13 members are really playing the long game, going through years of training to become airline pilots, which likely also involved several years in the United States Air Force. It's amazing that they were able to pass that many background checks. But you're not gonna fool a reality tv show host and his Gravy Seals.
  18. As much of a turd as Graham is, I can't imagine that one of the literal authors of Project 2025 is going to be an improvement.
  19. Oh, that part wasn't about the steroids.
  20. * Jose Canseco, Rafael Palmeiro, Juan Gonzalez, Adolis Garcia, and two hundred other Rangers nod knowingly while injecting each other *
  21. It doesn't take genius to fool the stupid.
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